One Year & Over Part 43
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Good morning all!
I have taken my Naprosyn and aspirin and they are now kicking in.
Life is good! I need to get ready to be moved for travel rather than walking. I can do the four five minute walks but that are a bit more taxing than I expected. I feel great but have to act like I am made of glass until the muscles are healed enough to hold my spine again. They weren't cut just expanded a lot and are bruised. So will take a few weeks to be stable again. I am not going to be stupid and do more too soon and cause damage as my doc warned about. Nor wait too long to stop treating myself. However the pain is really minimal. For most of the folks I talked to there post operatively. We all felt less pain as soon as we got up from the surgery, than the surgery generated itself!
You guys take care and don't tolerate poor quality of life when we have so much medical remediation that does not require narcotics. For hospice end of life is the only use I have for them. When we are terminal being made comfortable with narcotics, (read drugged senesless, as the sense of pain is suffering) is a good thing. I have ben through that with terminal hospice with MIL, for two years, and now FIL with end stages of Alzheimer's is soon to float away on a pink cloud. I am horrified to think of the end of life in centuries past.
Until then, I remain, alcohol and narcotic free. However not drug free. I do need NSAIDs occasionally, and lots of caffeine daily. I am drinking my third 4 cup hotel mini pot of coffee now.
Y'all keep on making your lives different. I had a great childhood despite abandonment by my father at 6, and being emancipated at 16 to support myself, and quite well I must say in hindsight. My inner compass has never failed me, my core is an optimist who always see alternatives and action that can be taken. I have had music, education, health, love, family, children (with a 50% success rate of sober self sufficiency,) and an earned decent retirement, more rare today save for those willing to be on the edge in the military.
I take stock after big events and have yet to find any one that could even make me think about how nice it would be to be senseless. Even during drinking and isolating because I did not want to drink and drive, I have never felt helpless or less tha another save my loss of self respect for about a years at the end of my drinking days. I have that back. And so do all of you. Pick that up and snuggle with it. Our sobriety allows us to build our lives to wherever we want, or are able.
I just realized I took a lot of words to say the succinct message.
I am grateful. For y'all as well as my amazing life. We can be fearless until we find we are at the end. I hope to be fearless then too, and see what happens. I have hurt too, but my inner nature doesn't allow for self pity parties that last more than a few minutes. My drinking was self medicating my only life pain that was out of my control, my back. Everything else I can change or let go as required, and be grateful and happy to still be here. My life goals were simple. Have a family, be there for them, and own my own home and bee OK with finances never rich. I declined that opportunity several times as the moral cost was usually too high. I was told many times I should have gone into politics or preaching as a minister. I always answered that my personal sense of honor would not allow it, as I can only have answers for me.
Here is one of mine that explains me:
O Sanity I Seek For You
By Itchy
O sanity I seek for you, despairing of your presence,
Looking at my life anew, through past and present prescience,
Here I sit with keyboard primed and ready for the writing,
While my fellow human beings ‘cross the globe are dying.
I can’t even comprehend how it must feel to be,
Lacking even basics for our life necessities,
Powerless I sit here, for granted take my life,
While fellow beings stoically prepare themselves to die.
I am not talking killers or the warped that claim Jihad,
Nor all my fellow warriors, Those who claim to follow God
For the politics of nations, the politics of hate
Is something we’ve accepted since the earliest of dates
I’m talking ‘bout the families that haven’t any bread
The Fathers who are helpless to keep them from the dead
The women who give children the last morsels they possess
Hoping that they might survive beyond their empty breasts
Yet here I sit as guilty, as if I’d been the one
That took away that family, put them all under the gun
The apathy of those of us, who have, versus have-nots
Seems to be the start of all, that in all cultures rots
Notice I said cultures, not our culture as the one,
For many of the others all contribute to the sum
Of the selfish way of viewing this existence through the lens
That limits our perceptions, makes us feel we’ve made amends
For the grace that we’ve been granted, by an accident of birth
For the safety that’s inherent on our little patch of Earth
While we look askance at others, and say they’re less than “we”
Because they come from somewhere else, somewhere “we” won’t see
I sit here wondering how it came, to be the normal thing
To exclude our brethren, rejecting all they bring
To separate by colors, by their orientations
To turn away so smugly, our rationalizations.
I am not afraid to fight, We did in many wars,
But there’s something that does scare me, the multitude of whores
All the lefties and the righties with their righteous selling out
Of a little bit of thinking through, a little bit of doubt.
They’re the 10 percent at either end that think they’re squeaky wheels,
Who make issues out of tissues just to hope we hear their squeals
Who have nothing to contribute to our true humanity
For their rhetoric cannot reflect, life’s true reality.
Should I gripe about gas prices, while another can’t buy food
And turn away from genocide because it spoils my mood
Refuse to look at anything that rousts me from my view
That anything unpleasant shouldn’t in my life intrude
Should I put on blinders to the plight of fellow men?
If they’re different colors, hold beliefs beyond my ken?
Should I follow conscience do something if I can
Or would that make me seem naïve, and less than just a man?
I write in the frustration of a man who has some skill,
In helping others locally to swallow bitter pills,
To lead them by example to a better view of life
And put into perspective all our petty little strifes.
But I feel so helpless, in the bigger scheme of things
So I’ll just try to start with me, shed blinders though they cling
And see if I can make a dent in my humanity
Then join up with another, and then others … Just a dream?
O sanity I seek for you, despairing of your presence,
Looking at my life anew, through past and present prescience,
Here I sit with keyboard primed and ready for the writing,
While my fellow human beings ‘cross the globe are dying.
© Itchy / Under Real name 2005, all rights reserved, three rights is left.
Back to square one.
I have taken my Naprosyn and aspirin and they are now kicking in.
Life is good! I need to get ready to be moved for travel rather than walking. I can do the four five minute walks but that are a bit more taxing than I expected. I feel great but have to act like I am made of glass until the muscles are healed enough to hold my spine again. They weren't cut just expanded a lot and are bruised. So will take a few weeks to be stable again. I am not going to be stupid and do more too soon and cause damage as my doc warned about. Nor wait too long to stop treating myself. However the pain is really minimal. For most of the folks I talked to there post operatively. We all felt less pain as soon as we got up from the surgery, than the surgery generated itself!
You guys take care and don't tolerate poor quality of life when we have so much medical remediation that does not require narcotics. For hospice end of life is the only use I have for them. When we are terminal being made comfortable with narcotics, (read drugged senesless, as the sense of pain is suffering) is a good thing. I have ben through that with terminal hospice with MIL, for two years, and now FIL with end stages of Alzheimer's is soon to float away on a pink cloud. I am horrified to think of the end of life in centuries past.
Until then, I remain, alcohol and narcotic free. However not drug free. I do need NSAIDs occasionally, and lots of caffeine daily. I am drinking my third 4 cup hotel mini pot of coffee now.
Y'all keep on making your lives different. I had a great childhood despite abandonment by my father at 6, and being emancipated at 16 to support myself, and quite well I must say in hindsight. My inner compass has never failed me, my core is an optimist who always see alternatives and action that can be taken. I have had music, education, health, love, family, children (with a 50% success rate of sober self sufficiency,) and an earned decent retirement, more rare today save for those willing to be on the edge in the military.
I take stock after big events and have yet to find any one that could even make me think about how nice it would be to be senseless. Even during drinking and isolating because I did not want to drink and drive, I have never felt helpless or less tha another save my loss of self respect for about a years at the end of my drinking days. I have that back. And so do all of you. Pick that up and snuggle with it. Our sobriety allows us to build our lives to wherever we want, or are able.
I just realized I took a lot of words to say the succinct message.
I am grateful. For y'all as well as my amazing life. We can be fearless until we find we are at the end. I hope to be fearless then too, and see what happens. I have hurt too, but my inner nature doesn't allow for self pity parties that last more than a few minutes. My drinking was self medicating my only life pain that was out of my control, my back. Everything else I can change or let go as required, and be grateful and happy to still be here. My life goals were simple. Have a family, be there for them, and own my own home and bee OK with finances never rich. I declined that opportunity several times as the moral cost was usually too high. I was told many times I should have gone into politics or preaching as a minister. I always answered that my personal sense of honor would not allow it, as I can only have answers for me.
Here is one of mine that explains me:
O Sanity I Seek For You
By Itchy
O sanity I seek for you, despairing of your presence,
Looking at my life anew, through past and present prescience,
Here I sit with keyboard primed and ready for the writing,
While my fellow human beings ‘cross the globe are dying.
I can’t even comprehend how it must feel to be,
Lacking even basics for our life necessities,
Powerless I sit here, for granted take my life,
While fellow beings stoically prepare themselves to die.
I am not talking killers or the warped that claim Jihad,
Nor all my fellow warriors, Those who claim to follow God
For the politics of nations, the politics of hate
Is something we’ve accepted since the earliest of dates
I’m talking ‘bout the families that haven’t any bread
The Fathers who are helpless to keep them from the dead
The women who give children the last morsels they possess
Hoping that they might survive beyond their empty breasts
Yet here I sit as guilty, as if I’d been the one
That took away that family, put them all under the gun
The apathy of those of us, who have, versus have-nots
Seems to be the start of all, that in all cultures rots
Notice I said cultures, not our culture as the one,
For many of the others all contribute to the sum
Of the selfish way of viewing this existence through the lens
That limits our perceptions, makes us feel we’ve made amends
For the grace that we’ve been granted, by an accident of birth
For the safety that’s inherent on our little patch of Earth
While we look askance at others, and say they’re less than “we”
Because they come from somewhere else, somewhere “we” won’t see
I sit here wondering how it came, to be the normal thing
To exclude our brethren, rejecting all they bring
To separate by colors, by their orientations
To turn away so smugly, our rationalizations.
I am not afraid to fight, We did in many wars,
But there’s something that does scare me, the multitude of whores
All the lefties and the righties with their righteous selling out
Of a little bit of thinking through, a little bit of doubt.
They’re the 10 percent at either end that think they’re squeaky wheels,
Who make issues out of tissues just to hope we hear their squeals
Who have nothing to contribute to our true humanity
For their rhetoric cannot reflect, life’s true reality.
Should I gripe about gas prices, while another can’t buy food
And turn away from genocide because it spoils my mood
Refuse to look at anything that rousts me from my view
That anything unpleasant shouldn’t in my life intrude
Should I put on blinders to the plight of fellow men?
If they’re different colors, hold beliefs beyond my ken?
Should I follow conscience do something if I can
Or would that make me seem naïve, and less than just a man?
I write in the frustration of a man who has some skill,
In helping others locally to swallow bitter pills,
To lead them by example to a better view of life
And put into perspective all our petty little strifes.
But I feel so helpless, in the bigger scheme of things
So I’ll just try to start with me, shed blinders though they cling
And see if I can make a dent in my humanity
Then join up with another, and then others … Just a dream?
O sanity I seek for you, despairing of your presence,
Looking at my life anew, through past and present prescience,
Here I sit with keyboard primed and ready for the writing,
While my fellow human beings ‘cross the globe are dying.
© Itchy / Under Real name 2005, all rights reserved, three rights is left.
Back to square one.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 1,629
I'm excited today about roasting a couple of new beans that arrived yesterday. Actually it's one variety processed two different ways. Costa Rica Black Honey & Costa Rica Yellow Honey. "Honey processed" coffees means the "honey" (the fruit pulp called Cascara) was left on the coffee bean in order to give it an extra dimension of flavor and sweetness. I'll roast them today and give them a try on Sunday. 
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Hello, Overs!!
Wonderful discussions within these pages.... all of the wisdom here is amazing!
As most of you know and I thank some peeps here for encouraging me to get out of my comfort zone, I have been attending AA for the past 6 months of my 18 months of sobriety. So what you wrote, Carlos- I learned to quiet my racing thoughts in those AA rooms is so true for me. The difference in my headspace now is becoming clear. I don't think I ever had the tools to live life on life's terms until I started working within the AA program. So the real life meetings, along with SR- I think I have a real shot at this thing called life!
Itch- so happy to hear your procedures were a success!
P.S. I'll echo FBLs sentiments of a few weeks back....if anyone here wants to 'friend' me on FB, shoot me a PM.
Have a Fantabulous Friday!
Wonderful discussions within these pages.... all of the wisdom here is amazing!
As most of you know and I thank some peeps here for encouraging me to get out of my comfort zone, I have been attending AA for the past 6 months of my 18 months of sobriety. So what you wrote, Carlos- I learned to quiet my racing thoughts in those AA rooms is so true for me. The difference in my headspace now is becoming clear. I don't think I ever had the tools to live life on life's terms until I started working within the AA program. So the real life meetings, along with SR- I think I have a real shot at this thing called life!
Itch- so happy to hear your procedures were a success!
P.S. I'll echo FBLs sentiments of a few weeks back....if anyone here wants to 'friend' me on FB, shoot me a PM.
Have a Fantabulous Friday!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey guys, just touching base. Hope you all have a great weekend. Nice and sunny here on the Costa de la Luz. 22 degrees today!
It's my wife's birthday so we've left the kids with friends and we're going to a nice hotel up the coast with a spa to spend the night and have a good meal. I remember her birthday last year when I was seven month sober. We went away then too, to spend a night in Seville. I remember struggling at the restaurant about not drinking wine and fighting to remind myself of all the positives and why I'd got involved in the whole sobriety thing. I feel a lot more relaxed about my choices a year later!
I'm reading a book by Amy Liptrot at the moment called The Outrun. It's about a girl from an island in the Orkneys in the North of Scotland who winds up in rehab in London. It's her story of recovery and how she then returns to the farm where she grew up trying to make some sense of her life. I think all of us here can identify with her journey. It's been a really vivid reminder of just how hard that first year can be. How everything can appear joyless, pointless and flat. There is certainly a corner to turn in sobriety and sometimes the road running up to it can just feel too long!
Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
It's my wife's birthday so we've left the kids with friends and we're going to a nice hotel up the coast with a spa to spend the night and have a good meal. I remember her birthday last year when I was seven month sober. We went away then too, to spend a night in Seville. I remember struggling at the restaurant about not drinking wine and fighting to remind myself of all the positives and why I'd got involved in the whole sobriety thing. I feel a lot more relaxed about my choices a year later!
I'm reading a book by Amy Liptrot at the moment called The Outrun. It's about a girl from an island in the Orkneys in the North of Scotland who winds up in rehab in London. It's her story of recovery and how she then returns to the farm where she grew up trying to make some sense of her life. I think all of us here can identify with her journey. It's been a really vivid reminder of just how hard that first year can be. How everything can appear joyless, pointless and flat. There is certainly a corner to turn in sobriety and sometimes the road running up to it can just feel too long!
Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,848
BRRRR!!! We went from thunderstorms and 70F yesterday to SNOW and 30F this morning! Factor in the wind chill and it feels like 15F out there. Looks like we went directly from summer to winter this year.
Have a great weekend, gang!
Have a great weekend, gang!
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