One Year & Over Part 43
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Itchy, so glad the surgery went well and you are able to do things to entertain yourself between surgeries. 
Next month it will be 7 years sober for me.
I remember when it was hard to get 7 days, much less weeks or months or years.
Next month it will be 7 years sober for me.
I remember when it was hard to get 7 days, much less weeks or months or years.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Early congrats Least! You've always been 9 months ahead of me.
Yep, I remember quitting 365 times and relapsing 365 times in the year before I finally quit with a detox in hospital.
I have something for you I need to PM to you. It will help with your pups.
Yep, I remember quitting 365 times and relapsing 365 times in the year before I finally quit with a detox in hospital.
I have something for you I need to PM to you. It will help with your pups.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Itchy, glad your surgery and recovery went so well. You a champ!
Rick, congrats, and also, I hear you. I had another event last night that was just so boring cause it was just people drinking and talking. I didn't last long, but sure had some resentment about missing out on socializing, feeling mad at myself for not being better at making small talk with people I barely know in a loud bar, and then mad that that seems to be the only way to socialize, is to drink.
But something Itchy wrote in response to my last lamentations about the unfairness of it all struck a chord and I've been thinking about it; something to the effect of: find other ways to fill your life, and you're right Itch, now actually is the time to do all that stuff I always wanted to, because there is literally nothing holding me back. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I started running again and bought some kick @ss trail running shoes and went trail running again today, in the rain to a lookout, it was great. I'm going to focus on doing these sorts of things again, less on trying to socialize in ways that don't work for me.
Any-hoo. I'm tired. Just two more weeks then I think I'm off for awhile, December maybe. I don't know what my next job is yet, after this one. Trying to not worry about that too much.
Rick, congrats, and also, I hear you. I had another event last night that was just so boring cause it was just people drinking and talking. I didn't last long, but sure had some resentment about missing out on socializing, feeling mad at myself for not being better at making small talk with people I barely know in a loud bar, and then mad that that seems to be the only way to socialize, is to drink.
But something Itchy wrote in response to my last lamentations about the unfairness of it all struck a chord and I've been thinking about it; something to the effect of: find other ways to fill your life, and you're right Itch, now actually is the time to do all that stuff I always wanted to, because there is literally nothing holding me back. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I started running again and bought some kick @ss trail running shoes and went trail running again today, in the rain to a lookout, it was great. I'm going to focus on doing these sorts of things again, less on trying to socialize in ways that don't work for me.
Any-hoo. I'm tired. Just two more weeks then I think I'm off for awhile, December maybe. I don't know what my next job is yet, after this one. Trying to not worry about that too much.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Great news Itchy!! Yes the pain meds are a dicey thing. I passed on the Tylenol 3's they were willing to give me since my first procedure was not bad but I did regret it as my second one was much worse. The last thing I think anyone needs is a addiction to pain meds. Have a speedy recovery and don't forget to rest and relax!
Wow I completely missed my 14 month anniversary and I have to have read it on the 24 hour thread. Thanks FBL and Stargazer for the reminder!
Congratulations on three years Rick!!
Wow I completely missed my 14 month anniversary and I have to have read it on the 24 hour thread. Thanks FBL and Stargazer for the reminder!
Congratulations on three years Rick!!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Great news, Itch! You sure picked the right place to have it done
Least, early congrats on 7 years! So glad you started this group many moons ago.
Speaking of moons, the actual one looks big and bright this morning. I guess tomorrow morning is the "peak" for the "big moon" cycle.
IP, great that you took up running. I can't do the running thing, but I sure can walk like a mo-fo! Speaking of which, just about time to check out the critters on my Sunday morning nature walk. Just the garden variety ducks lately, but sometimes I get a surprise sighting of something more exotic.
Have a Super Sunday, overs!
Least, early congrats on 7 years! So glad you started this group many moons ago.
Speaking of moons, the actual one looks big and bright this morning. I guess tomorrow morning is the "peak" for the "big moon" cycle.
IP, great that you took up running. I can't do the running thing, but I sure can walk like a mo-fo! Speaking of which, just about time to check out the critters on my Sunday morning nature walk. Just the garden variety ducks lately, but sometimes I get a surprise sighting of something more exotic.
Have a Super Sunday, overs!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
hiya rick
for me, after 13 years, a thought of a drink here & there still comes,
and go's aways just as fast
some how itch,
i didn't think your the type to shuffle along and lallygag around!
for me, after 13 years, a thought of a drink here & there still comes,
and go's aways just as fast
But I walk fast as was normal before my back problems
i didn't think your the type to shuffle along and lallygag around!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Hi all: Lots of anxiety, depression and fear.. not just the election nightmare but lots of changes that are potentially negative. But amazingly no drinking, but sure thought about it a lot.
FBL: in 1986 I was married and living outside Philadelphia. Took the kids to the Franklin Institute downtown one Saturday. We climbed some stairs to the cockpit of a jet fighter that you could sit in. As we turned around to leave we found ourselves face to face with Robert Vaughn. My 6 year old son could care less, but I said a hasty "hi" and he responded in kind. One of the few times I have been that close to a celebrity. I always loved Man from U.N.C.L.E.
As another aside, I have not been around as much but where is Soberwolf?
FBL: in 1986 I was married and living outside Philadelphia. Took the kids to the Franklin Institute downtown one Saturday. We climbed some stairs to the cockpit of a jet fighter that you could sit in. As we turned around to leave we found ourselves face to face with Robert Vaughn. My 6 year old son could care less, but I said a hasty "hi" and he responded in kind. One of the few times I have been that close to a celebrity. I always loved Man from U.N.C.L.E.
As another aside, I have not been around as much but where is Soberwolf?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Itch Man, glad the recovery is off to a good start. Enjoy that resort stay. Wish I were there to visit...
Rick and wws, congrats on 3 years and 14 months.
In Columbus with my youngest this weekend. We are off to bodypump together in a bit. We were going to take a painting class after. Called to see what we would be painting...it was a raven. Haaa, a raven...humm, outside of a portrait of our Prez Elect, that might be #2 on my least desired list at present. Any true Pittsburger understands that. In case you missed it, PITT beat #2 Clemson yesterday. Things are looking up!
HAve a good one, O's....gotta dash - - - - - - -
Carlos
Rick and wws, congrats on 3 years and 14 months.
In Columbus with my youngest this weekend. We are off to bodypump together in a bit. We were going to take a painting class after. Called to see what we would be painting...it was a raven. Haaa, a raven...humm, outside of a portrait of our Prez Elect, that might be #2 on my least desired list at present. Any true Pittsburger understands that.
In case you missed it, PITT beat #2 Clemson yesterday. Things are looking up!HAve a good one, O's....gotta dash - - - - - - -
Carlos
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Thank everyone. I lost a long post twice and gave up.
FBL,
My FIL nd we also are lucky enough to be able to afford a place like your mom's, but he wants nothing to do with one, and like when he and we took care of MIL, his wife, until she died after a long battle with brain cancer, we promised her before she became unresponsive to not put him in a home. It works out because of home health care and hospice. This was her choice. She got to nurse her mom, and hold her as she breathed her last, and bade her let go in peace. She fulfilled what she viewed as her natural place with her. She had closure and peace that no one neglected her Mom, and now her dad. My kids won't have to agonize as I will check myself in when I need to reflect on my life here, and the possibilities of any "afters." There is no one way, every person at their end is different, every family responsive to their own. I saw a lot of that when I was a medic and cared for terminal cancer patients in for their last stay. Some were alone at the end save for us medics.
IP,
Glad it helped. Now you are getting the idea. Einstein said that "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
Earlier I read another comment I forget from who about being sick of club soda around drinkers. I read that as being sick of no alcohol in the drink. When I read comments like that I clearly see the sense of being deprived of what they really want. We have to get past that to get to where you are now IP. You have learned the other famous Einstein quote that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."
We are indeed free to learn new skills not just for coping, but primarily for playing and recreating, and loving. Alcoholics are very good at drinking, but always in the dark. Be that in the light as a hermit, or in a bar or other drinking function. See, their only function is to be a drinking stop, acceptable to get drunk and loud, and interpret that as exciting fun. I know where I learned that.
I was a child wanting to be my own man and I viewed adults as smoking (60's Docs said smokes were good for us) and drinking. Those were goals. So weekends always involved drinking whether BBQs, in the day and hitting the booze heavy after dark, or waiting until dark to go to a club or function involving drinking. I got in the habit of taking the easy way out and instead of doing the fantastic things I eventually got around to doing, I let my peers and society drag me down. There is another lesser known Einstein quote:
"But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
I found a striking example of the relapse thinking in "The Matrix" -
"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know when I put it in my mouth the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss" ―Cypher justifying his decision to betray his friends and reenter the Matrix.
I can't speak for anyone else, but every day when I woke up in withdrawal, I made the same decision as Cypher. Cypher actually means zero, nothing, and rather than work at doing something sober, I relapsed daily. After my recovery I wrote that:
"Boredom is wanting to do something, anything, as long as you don’t have to actually do something to do it."
IP,
you are starting to do life and accept the lack of limitations. I remember just realizing I was free to drive any time of night! That little thing caused a cascade of realizations of the way I traded a real life for a kind of Matrix if you will. I am recovered, no desire or feelings of deprival haunt me. Like everyone over one year, we never have to go back. Many harbor their own conditions for going back. You just might be joining me in the ranks of the recovered, as mentioned in the big book 28 times. I know I will never relapse because I've drunk my fill of booze and am now working on drinking my fill of the real world.
So what? I can't drink alcohol is tough? I can, I just won't drink alcohol - my choice, not forced on me .Perhaps some have overlooked the millions of things life holds for those who only need to show up to claim them in person.
You go IP!
FBL,
My FIL nd we also are lucky enough to be able to afford a place like your mom's, but he wants nothing to do with one, and like when he and we took care of MIL, his wife, until she died after a long battle with brain cancer, we promised her before she became unresponsive to not put him in a home. It works out because of home health care and hospice. This was her choice. She got to nurse her mom, and hold her as she breathed her last, and bade her let go in peace. She fulfilled what she viewed as her natural place with her. She had closure and peace that no one neglected her Mom, and now her dad. My kids won't have to agonize as I will check myself in when I need to reflect on my life here, and the possibilities of any "afters." There is no one way, every person at their end is different, every family responsive to their own. I saw a lot of that when I was a medic and cared for terminal cancer patients in for their last stay. Some were alone at the end save for us medics.
IP,
Glad it helped. Now you are getting the idea. Einstein said that "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
Earlier I read another comment I forget from who about being sick of club soda around drinkers. I read that as being sick of no alcohol in the drink. When I read comments like that I clearly see the sense of being deprived of what they really want. We have to get past that to get to where you are now IP. You have learned the other famous Einstein quote that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."
We are indeed free to learn new skills not just for coping, but primarily for playing and recreating, and loving. Alcoholics are very good at drinking, but always in the dark. Be that in the light as a hermit, or in a bar or other drinking function. See, their only function is to be a drinking stop, acceptable to get drunk and loud, and interpret that as exciting fun. I know where I learned that.
I was a child wanting to be my own man and I viewed adults as smoking (60's Docs said smokes were good for us) and drinking. Those were goals. So weekends always involved drinking whether BBQs, in the day and hitting the booze heavy after dark, or waiting until dark to go to a club or function involving drinking. I got in the habit of taking the easy way out and instead of doing the fantastic things I eventually got around to doing, I let my peers and society drag me down. There is another lesser known Einstein quote:
"But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
I found a striking example of the relapse thinking in "The Matrix" -
"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know when I put it in my mouth the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss" ―Cypher justifying his decision to betray his friends and reenter the Matrix.
I can't speak for anyone else, but every day when I woke up in withdrawal, I made the same decision as Cypher. Cypher actually means zero, nothing, and rather than work at doing something sober, I relapsed daily. After my recovery I wrote that:
"Boredom is wanting to do something, anything, as long as you don’t have to actually do something to do it."
IP,
you are starting to do life and accept the lack of limitations. I remember just realizing I was free to drive any time of night! That little thing caused a cascade of realizations of the way I traded a real life for a kind of Matrix if you will. I am recovered, no desire or feelings of deprival haunt me. Like everyone over one year, we never have to go back. Many harbor their own conditions for going back. You just might be joining me in the ranks of the recovered, as mentioned in the big book 28 times. I know I will never relapse because I've drunk my fill of booze and am now working on drinking my fill of the real world.
So what? I can't drink alcohol is tough? I can, I just won't drink alcohol - my choice, not forced on me .Perhaps some have overlooked the millions of things life holds for those who only need to show up to claim them in person.
You go IP!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
WWS,
Glad for you too!
Thanks Dee,
I'm gonna survive these surgeries nicely I believe. Also thanks for the reminder Dee. Poor losers envy and hate the winners, and poor winners rub it all in, in every life endeavor. We, in the sense the ancient Chinese proverb meant it, are indeed living in "interesting times."
Rick,
Congrats on your anniversary, your trip, three years sober, and holding the line. I mentioned your comment earlier and hope you decide to try the million other drinks you can have and be sober. I don't want to drink and really don't pay attention to what others are drinking. However, there are lots of pools, activities, and some ships even have artificial surf for surfing. You have to walk out of the drinking rooms to go. When I am around drinkers, instead of feeling deprived, my thoughts actually are kind of disgusted that I ever thought the nonsense and loud belligerances of drinkers was fun! Maybe it was good when we were savages and life was cheap like the dark ages. Man I am glad I live now and not as a serf in medieval anywhere. Hang in there bud. I actually like my water, ice, and a generous splash of lime juice. I don't like the flavored waters sold as they are either too soda pop, or too faint tasting. It is not a substitute for alcohol, I only started drinking them lately when my wife brought home some store bought flavored waters.
Congrats again Rick!
Star,
Thanks!
Just a little effort for a few weeks to live out the rest of my life pain free. I did not go fishing. I caught up on a weeks worth of emails. Several hundred and most I trashed. Maybe today, another stunner of a day in paradise.
Mags,
I am like a bad penny, I always show up! Thanks! It is a nice place to recuperate. One more major lumbar spine surgery in two days, next Tuesday, then I can head home. Nice as it is, I miss my wife and life.
Amp,
Yes I will.
Sassy, I agree, it is heavenly out there.
WWS,
Congrats on your 14 months, and your successful battle with the dermatologists. I go every six months and then look like I have a disease from all the nitrogen burns on my face and ears. Everyone needs to check themselves and see one regularly.
RZ,
No, I do shuffle sometimes when the spine was hurting. Thanks! Just like getting sober freed me up to do this and life, this will free me up to start to work out again. 60 is the new 40. So I'm 44.
Drake,
Sometimes things aren't as bad as they appear. Sometimes they are. Sober we can tell the difference. Good to read you.
Carlos,
Hey we did get to meet. Glad of that. Enjoy your family time! That sounds like a great day! I believe those plans I told you about becoming and ex-pat in Costa Rico or Canada may be re-examined. Sometimes the things we see as bad push us to do things we really wanted to but needed a push of an incentive. Enjoy your Raven.
I am sitting in my room again instead of going out and it is 2 PM! I am shutting the Surface down and getting out! More pics later.
Happy Happy Overs!
Glad for you too!
Thanks Dee,
I'm gonna survive these surgeries nicely I believe. Also thanks for the reminder Dee. Poor losers envy and hate the winners, and poor winners rub it all in, in every life endeavor. We, in the sense the ancient Chinese proverb meant it, are indeed living in "interesting times."
Rick,
Congrats on your anniversary, your trip, three years sober, and holding the line. I mentioned your comment earlier and hope you decide to try the million other drinks you can have and be sober. I don't want to drink and really don't pay attention to what others are drinking. However, there are lots of pools, activities, and some ships even have artificial surf for surfing. You have to walk out of the drinking rooms to go. When I am around drinkers, instead of feeling deprived, my thoughts actually are kind of disgusted that I ever thought the nonsense and loud belligerances of drinkers was fun! Maybe it was good when we were savages and life was cheap like the dark ages. Man I am glad I live now and not as a serf in medieval anywhere. Hang in there bud. I actually like my water, ice, and a generous splash of lime juice. I don't like the flavored waters sold as they are either too soda pop, or too faint tasting. It is not a substitute for alcohol, I only started drinking them lately when my wife brought home some store bought flavored waters.
Congrats again Rick!
Star,
Thanks!
Just a little effort for a few weeks to live out the rest of my life pain free. I did not go fishing. I caught up on a weeks worth of emails. Several hundred and most I trashed. Maybe today, another stunner of a day in paradise.
Mags,
I am like a bad penny, I always show up! Thanks! It is a nice place to recuperate. One more major lumbar spine surgery in two days, next Tuesday, then I can head home. Nice as it is, I miss my wife and life.
Amp,
Yes I will.
Sassy, I agree, it is heavenly out there.
WWS,
Congrats on your 14 months, and your successful battle with the dermatologists. I go every six months and then look like I have a disease from all the nitrogen burns on my face and ears. Everyone needs to check themselves and see one regularly.
RZ,
No, I do shuffle sometimes when the spine was hurting. Thanks! Just like getting sober freed me up to do this and life, this will free me up to start to work out again. 60 is the new 40. So I'm 44.
Drake,
Sometimes things aren't as bad as they appear. Sometimes they are. Sober we can tell the difference. Good to read you.
Carlos,
Hey we did get to meet. Glad of that. Enjoy your family time! That sounds like a great day! I believe those plans I told you about becoming and ex-pat in Costa Rico or Canada may be re-examined. Sometimes the things we see as bad push us to do things we really wanted to but needed a push of an incentive. Enjoy your Raven.
I am sitting in my room again instead of going out and it is 2 PM! I am shutting the Surface down and getting out! More pics later.
Happy Happy Overs!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Hi Overs! I have a question, nothing to do with sobriety, that I would welcome your thoughts on
I live with a co-recovering alcoholic who got sober when I did. He has 4 grown up children, of which two are sporadically in touch. His eldest child, we heard (via my housemates' mother (who read via social media)), recently got engaged. I have met all of his kids as we attended his son's wedding last year, but I don't have a close personal connection with any of them.
Anyway, my natural instinct is to send a little message with my congratulations, but I also am not sure if it might be a little weird or strange for me to do this...what are you guys thoughts / experiences?
I live with a co-recovering alcoholic who got sober when I did. He has 4 grown up children, of which two are sporadically in touch. His eldest child, we heard (via my housemates' mother (who read via social media)), recently got engaged. I have met all of his kids as we attended his son's wedding last year, but I don't have a close personal connection with any of them.
Anyway, my natural instinct is to send a little message with my congratulations, but I also am not sure if it might be a little weird or strange for me to do this...what are you guys thoughts / experiences?
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
FG,
You don't need their permission to give your approbation to their happy union. If you feel the need, ask him! It may be that he would like to sign with you on your message. If there are wrenches in the works then remember that a random kindness costs nothing. (unless you fold a bill in with the card)
You don't need their permission to give your approbation to their happy union. If you feel the need, ask him! It may be that he would like to sign with you on your message. If there are wrenches in the works then remember that a random kindness costs nothing. (unless you fold a bill in with the card)
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