Class of September 2016 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Yes indeed Helen you were right about me being pleased about finding a treatment center close to my furbabies! And yes, my parents will help me with the horses while I am gone 
I wish you nothing but the best on your path! If you can manage moderation, that's great I tried, and tried, and tried and couldn't. And maybe you will come to the same conclusion one day ... or maybe not. But I totally understand how you feel you need to try that route. I did. I can't speak for others but it doesn't bother me at all you being on this forum even if you aren't planning on forever abstinence. I think many others on here are doing the same, so you aren't the only one. I would truly miss you if you left SR 
. I do hope that your path of trying moderation doesn't end in a complete train wreck like me... that worries me for you, but I guess I shouldn't push my fears onto you. Your path is your path and I completely respect that . And I wish you all the best on it!
I wish you nothing but the best on your path! If you can manage moderation, that's great
I tried, and tried, and tried and couldn't. And maybe you will come to the same conclusion one day ... or maybe not. But I totally understand how you feel you need to try that route. I did. I can't speak for others but it doesn't bother me at all you being on this forum even if you aren't planning on forever abstinence. I think many others on here are doing the same, so you aren't the only one. I would truly miss you if you left SR 
. I do hope that your path of trying moderation doesn't end in a complete train wreck like me... that worries me for you, but I guess I shouldn't push my fears onto you. Your path is your path and I completely respect that . And I wish you all the best on it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
Hi Martin1 - Just wanted to say that your comments inspired me to tell my father (who is visiting at the moment) that I have a problem with alcohol. I didn't go as far as saying "I'm a raging alcoholic" (because I'm still not 100% sure if that's true) - I just said that I have stopped drinking for the foreseeable future because I felt that I was starting to lean on it and it wasn't doing me any favours. And guess what? He shared with me that when he was in his mid 20s, he had a similar experience and made the same decision - he now drinks VERY occasionally, but had to make a concerted effort to get his drinking under control when he was younger. So for me, it was worth sharing! Hope things go well for you this weekend.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
HelenofTroy - I agree with Windancer. I'm glad you're here and I think it's important that we are all completely honest. As I've said before, I don't know if I will try to moderate at some point - I haven't ruled it out and we all have to find what works for us. x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by SomeSortOfHuman 
Hi Martin1 - Just wanted to say that your comments inspired me to tell my father (who is visiting at the moment) that I have a problem with alcohol. I didn't go as far as saying "I'm a raging alcoholic" (because I'm still not 100% sure if that's true) - I just said that I have stopped drinking for the foreseeable future because I felt that I was starting to lean on it and it wasn't doing me any favours. And guess what? He shared with me that when he was in his mid 20s, he had a similar experience and made the same decision - he now drinks VERY occasionally, but had to make a concerted effort to get his drinking under control when he was younger. So for me, it was worth sharing! Hope things go well for you this weekend.
Thanks a lot. I think I will do this, say I'm stopping drinking and see how it goes from there.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
Hi Helen
We all have our journeys.
It took me many years and many tries and many failures to accept that abstinence needed to be my path.
I'm sure it's no surprise you that most people on this forum and in these monthly threads are committed to abstinence.
Whatever decision you make about future participation here needs to weigh that up.
D
We all have our journeys.
It took me many years and many tries and many failures to accept that abstinence needed to be my path.
I'm sure it's no surprise you that most people on this forum and in these monthly threads are committed to abstinence.
Whatever decision you make about future participation here needs to weigh that up.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
MBS Check In: I feel emotionally fragile and defeated, physically I'm tired and have a headache, and I feel spiritually hungry.
I had a bad night last night. Barely slept. Mind kept racing. My Mom and Dad got mad at me and I was wondering why ... until I clued in that they had both been drinking. Which is fine, it is their house and they are not the ones with the alcohol problem. So after discovering that I left to go into my own space but Mom followed. I 'm ashamed to admit it but I even self harmed last night. It's been a long time since I've done that, and even longer since I've done it sober. I was telling my Dad that I was feeling the urge to do that and he took it as a threat (which it was NOT ... I was asking for help more than anything). He got angry with me, told me to basically suck it up because my problems are all my fault and then I went and self harmed on my wrist.
I have an appointment with my psychologist today which is probably a good thing. I have Court on Monday and I am losing my mind. Nothing drastic will happen on Monday either way but anything to do with this legal stuff is triggering me in a huge way.
I had a bad night last night. Barely slept. Mind kept racing. My Mom and Dad got mad at me and I was wondering why ... until I clued in that they had both been drinking. Which is fine, it is their house and they are not the ones with the alcohol problem. So after discovering that I left to go into my own space but Mom followed. I 'm ashamed to admit it but I even self harmed last night. It's been a long time since I've done that, and even longer since I've done it sober. I was telling my Dad that I was feeling the urge to do that and he took it as a threat (which it was NOT ... I was asking for help more than anything). He got angry with me, told me to basically suck it up because my problems are all my fault and then I went and self harmed on my wrist.
I have an appointment with my psychologist today which is probably a good thing. I have Court on Monday and I am losing my mind. Nothing drastic will happen on Monday either way but anything to do with this legal stuff is triggering me in a huge way.
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Good morning folks.
I'm back. I'm here. I've reset my phone app to day 1. Sigh.
I lay in bed this morning doing some soul searching. I know I can't moderate. I need to make this a life commitment. I know that. I just need to stop fighting that. Looking back at it I can't believe how badly I wanted that wine last night! Realizing that is a little scary. I did pour the last of the wine down the drain this morning. That's the first time I've ever done that. Laying in bed I was thinking about how many times over the last three weeks that I was so grateful to be going to bed completely sober. I will get back to that.
I may not be posting much over the weekend, although I may check in with my phone. I'll be spending time with family.
Have a good one everyone.
I'm back. I'm here. I've reset my phone app to day 1. Sigh.
I lay in bed this morning doing some soul searching. I know I can't moderate. I need to make this a life commitment. I know that. I just need to stop fighting that. Looking back at it I can't believe how badly I wanted that wine last night! Realizing that is a little scary. I did pour the last of the wine down the drain this morning. That's the first time I've ever done that. Laying in bed I was thinking about how many times over the last three weeks that I was so grateful to be going to bed completely sober. I will get back to that.
I may not be posting much over the weekend, although I may check in with my phone. I'll be spending time with family.
Have a good one everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Helen it sounds as if you are being very honest with yourself and that is a very good start! And I agree with you ... people who genuinely don't have a drinking problem don't have the thoughts and patterns that you are recognizing in yourself.
It took me awhile but I don't miss booze anymore at all. I don't feel like I am missing out. I can still enjoy a lovely meal, and celebrate something without getting sloshed. What I don't do, however, is attend a gathering that is drinking only. It's boring, lacks substance and I don't enjoy drunk people unless I'm drunk.
And I agree with you ... people who genuinely don't have a drinking problem don't have the thoughts and patterns that you are recognizing in yourself.It took me awhile but I don't miss booze anymore at all. I don't feel like I am missing out. I can still enjoy a lovely meal, and celebrate something without getting sloshed. What I don't do, however, is attend a gathering that is drinking only. It's boring, lacks substance and I don't enjoy drunk people unless I'm drunk.
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Thanks Windancer. I'm not sure why but the wine didn't even taste that good. Of course that didn't stop me drinking it. I have a friend who no longer drinks and she said that she took a sip of her partner's wine that was a wine my friend really liked and she said it now tasted awful. She feels our tastebuds change. I really need to remember what this wine tasted like the next time I think I want some with a meal. But most of all I need to let go of the idea of future drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
Happy Friday all! Day 44 feeling a little bit antsy today. May find out if I got the Job or not. They told me id find out either way today or early next week. I have another phone interview today with a company I used to work for. I didn't think I'd be eligible for rehire but they say I'm fine. Only thing is I know this job will be stressful..and last time missed a lot due to hangovers and what not. Part of me wants to blame my drinking then on the job but I know it was still a choice. Still not sure whether I'll answer the phone when they call as I really don't want to worry about all that. As it comes closer I'll listen to my gut, Helen please stay. Your posts and Input are valuable to those of us who remain. I hope everyone has a great Friday/Weekend! 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 61
Best of luck with the job news, CuteNGayYay! And Helen, I hope you feel better soon and enjoy your new start. I've had plenty of those.
Day 32 for me... Feeling pretty blue. There's one thing in particular really getting me down, but I don't want to spend even more time dwelling on it so I won't post about it here. I'm going to a meeting in the morning so maybe I'll air it out there if I feel the need to.
Hope everyone enjoys the weekend ahead!
Day 32 for me... Feeling pretty blue. There's one thing in particular really getting me down, but I don't want to spend even more time dwelling on it so I won't post about it here. I'm going to a meeting in the morning so maybe I'll air it out there if I feel the need to.
Hope everyone enjoys the weekend ahead!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
MBS Check In: I'm mentally EXHAUSTED, physically EXHAUSTED and spiritually energized. Funny how that can work, eh? (Yes, I'm Canadian).
Just got back from a meeting. As predicted I am glad to be back into the swing of things. I am preparing for a potentially difficult weekend as I have Court on Monday. I'll be doing a lot of praying and holding space for a positive path. And doing my best to remember to only focus on one day at a time .... even one minute at a time if need be.
Goodnight to all of my lovely September friends I hope I sleep like a baby...and if it's nighttime where you are I hope you sleep well too.
Just got back from a meeting. As predicted I am glad to be back into the swing of things. I am preparing for a potentially difficult weekend as I have Court on Monday. I'll be doing a lot of praying and holding space for a positive path. And doing my best to remember to only focus on one day at a time .... even one minute at a time if need be.
Goodnight to all of my lovely September friends
I hope I sleep like a baby...and if it's nighttime where you are I hope you sleep well too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by Dee74
I hope it won't be as daunting as you fear Martin
D
D
I'm on day 4 now.
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Good morning folks.
Windancer you have shown real strength. You will get through this court stuff.
Glad that is behind you Martin.
I want to thank everyone for the nice comments. I am at peace with my decision. I have started making plans for what to do with my wine making supplies. I am spending time with my granddaughter this weekend. That only reinforces my decision as I don't want to miss a thing. She is just learning to walk
Have a good one everyone.
Windancer you have shown real strength. You will get through this court stuff.
Glad that is behind you Martin.
I want to thank everyone for the nice comments. I am at peace with my decision. I have started making plans for what to do with my wine making supplies. I am spending time with my granddaughter this weekend. That only reinforces my decision as I don't want to miss a thing. She is just learning to walk
Have a good one everyone.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
