Dee74

I'm sorry you're still having the block issue SSOH.

The transition phase is rough, but try and think of it this way - if you were sick, would you be pushing yourself this hard?

I don't want to get into the whole disease or not thing, but quitting left me pretty depleted in a lot of ways. I really needed to recuperate.

All I can tell you is going backwards is not the way to get through.

D

Dee74

I'm sorry about the job CAGY but 50 days is awesome!

Hope everyone has a good weekend ahead

D

Martin1

It's midnight now, so it's day 10. Had a nice walk earlier, an hour long, I'd like it to get colder quickly, I was melting by the time I got in.

HelenofTroy

Thanks Martin. You just gave me the kick in the pants I needed to get off this computer and take the dog for a walk. He love it and deserves way more walks than I take him for. I am lazy! lol

Ok going to get his leash

HelenofTroy

Good morning folks.

CAGY something will come on the job front. I've realized that everything good that has happened in my life (jobs, relationships, etc) has been able to happen because of the void left when something else didn't work out first.

Windancer I am glad all the furbabies are now home. I'm sure they will keep you very busy and busy is good SSOH I have no words of wisdom, just virtual hugs and wishing you well. Martin I had a nice walk last night and Thor was a happy puppy for it

Day 9 here. It's my birthday week and we have reservations for a nice restaurant tomorrow. I will be honest and say that the idea of a nice glass of wine with dinner popped into my head when I first thought of the restaurant. Then I realized a few things.

• My husband doesn't drink so it's not like I "need" to have one to fit in
• I'm not even sure I would like a glass of wine now
• I definitely don't want to be back on day 1 again (I get it about the counting days now)
• The cheap bastard in me doesn't want to pay restaurant prices for a nice glass of wine
• I really don't want one; the idea only came out of habit, not desire
• My husband usually orders a big bottle of Perrier or San Pellegrino, and sharing a bottle would be just as romantic as sharing a bottle of wine

Off to get my housework done before he gets home so we can enjoy our weekend together.

Have a good one everyone.

bikube

Day 40.

To be totally honest, I feel like drinking, and have been feeling this way for a few days now. I was meant to go stay with a friend tonight, a really close friend who I haven't seen in about a year, and she cancelled just this morning, without really giving me any reason. It's knocked me right down into the hole of loneliness, self-pity and self-loathing. I really want to drink.

Of course, I know where it leads and I don't want to undo how far I've come and go back to square one. I lost a lot of friendships through alcohol and I know that should put me off drinking - but instead, at the minute, my alcoholic mentality is telling me that I have nothing to lose anymore and f*ck it.

Sorry for the negative post! But I should felt I should be honest with myself and write it out.

HelenofTroy

Bikube I agree that writing it down helps. It could be something came up with your friend that she isn't able to get into at the moment.

40 days is awesome! Much better than starting back at day 1

Windancer

Good morning everyone! Day#46 here.

Honestly, their loss CAGY .... you got really close if you were there for three interviews. Another door will open!

Your reasons NOT to drink sure make a lot of sense, Helen . When I am at the point where I want another partner again I think it'll have to be someone who can leave a drink with no trouble. You are lucky to have a spouse that isn't caught up in all the drinking hype

I'm doing well! Been playing phone tag with my sponsor for a couple days but thats alright I guess. I'm sure I'll talk to her today. And then I'll have to tell her the low number of meetings I've attended this week . Oh well. Going tonight!

The last relationship I had was very toxic. The man I was with was 20 years older than I was and totally manipulated my big heart into a relationship when I was very ill (though it is my responsibility as I fell for it). Long story short I have trouble keeping healthy boundaries with men and often allow myself to get manipulated and treated like trash. So I met this suicidal older man with severe PTSD at a Healing Ceremony a few weeks ago. He said he was all alone, had no one, and was in an immense amount of pain daily. So I thought I could be a good friend and help him. I felt really sorry for him. So looking back, he manipulated me from just emailing him to calling, and then from that to promising to visit. I made sure to put up my sexual boundaries FIRST THING so it was clear what my intentions were. Last few days, he has lost his temper on the smallest of things and began yelling and swearing like a crazy man AT ME! Not once, but several times. Don't worry .... I checked my head yesterday when I spoke to a close female friend who also knows this man. Yesterday, this guy gave me the silent treatment ALL DAY after I sent numerous messages asking him to just let me know he is ok as he has been threatening suicide a lot of late. He. Just. Ignored. Me. That was it for me. It was clear he wanted me to worry about him all afternoon and it was all some manipulative ploy so I felt sorry for him so I would still be his friend and visit, after he verbally assaulted me and I called him out on his BS.

This was very hard for me because I felt if I left the scene this man would kill himself. So fast forward to now and I know he clearly has crossed some serious boundaries, and I cannot have any sort of friendship with him when he is abusive and literally not accepting any help given him (all the while he is saying no one is helping and no one cares while I've personally witnessed the opposite).

So long story short in my massive ramblings that I'm not sure make sense, I'm cutting ties with this man today by telephone. So yay me for learning about boundaries. I just hope he doesn't off himself ... but if he does I honestly did my best. He won't take any help at all and thinks he is smarter than every other person on the planet (especially therapists).

Martin1

Went to a golf range today and a drive round the farms and villages around my city. It was good. I'm going to get something to eat for tea in a bit.

I'm currently sitting in the garden and my cat is on the table trying to drink my coffee.

I feel much better than 10 days ago. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

CuteNGayYay

Good morning everyone! Thx for the kind words about the job... I know there is something better for me... I actually prayed that if it were the right fit it would work out..so clearly it wasn't. I also hope a relationship is coming soon because I've been single for farrrr too long lol. So maybe it'll all come at once . And ya Wind it sounds like he was just playing games with you and obviously has a loose screw. Hope u have a great weekend Helen and the dinner is fab. I really want to try to get into that Pellegrino..seems so fancy for water haha. Anywho, I hope u all have a great Saturday!!! Day 51.

Dee74

Hi Bikube - the days from 30 to 90 are hard because we feel better, but we haven't seen a lot of the long term benefits of staying sober. We start to think maybe if we drink a little we can feel even better...

Of course thats nonsense. Drinking again just led me to the same old place time and time again.

I dunno about you guys but I drank for years.

It takes a little while to get over that, to work out new positive ways of dealing with bad feelings, and to build a sober life we love

I'm sorry your plans got scuppered bikube - why not do something good for yourself this weekend anyway?

D

tekink

I think that's actually day 47?

I also quit on September 13th, it was a Tuesday. Last Monday was the end of 6 weeks so it was day 42. Saturday is 5 days later so today it's day 47!

As for that guy, turn around and forget about him. It's always harder to find nice guys because they are the ones that are not going on a limb and being annoying just to get someone.

bikube

Thank you for the words of encouragement, Helen and Dee

It's 1:03 am here now. I didn't drink and the cravings have passed. I took a nap, browsed some threads here, drank a lot of sugary drinks and generally just tried to ride out the urges. It scares me how intensely I wanted to drink earlier though. If there had been drink in the house, I can't say for certain that I would have been able to resist.

Pretty sure I won't sleep tonight on account of the sugar and napping, but it's better than being passed out drunk! I'm hoping this experience will be useful to me when I feel like relapsing in future.

Windancer

I stand corrected, you are quite right! Thanks tekink. I suppose I need a calendar lol. Congrats on 47 days!!!

Dee74

Did you cut ties windancer?

D

bobquin

Heading into day 34 here. Like many, I have good days and bad days. Today, I got to sleep in and felt pretty good. Yesterday was a miserable cluster of low energy and serious crankiness that just made me feel guilty when all was said and done.

I think what's surprising me the most about sobriety this time around is the intensity of sweets cravings that I'm experiencing. I want to eat candy, cake, ANYTHING sugary all. The. Time. It's driving me bananas, and I've already put on just over 3 pounds since entering recovery.

Of course, I'm also in the process of quitting smoking (down to about 3 cigs/day), which itself wreaks havoc on the appetite. I really, really need to get on the treadmill come Monday morning!

Tomorrow (later today, really...it's after 2am here!) it's off for some pumpkin picking with Hubby and son. Should be fun!

Here's to a sober Sunday, all. Stay well!

Windancer

Yes I did! With a phone call (voicemail) and facebook message, then deleted him from facebook.

SeaOfSerenity

what would you consider to be the long term benefits out of curiosity?


for anyone counting days there are apps out there that do this. I use 'I am sober' it tracks days and also how much money you have saved. highly recommend

Windancer

Dee .... I, too am at that "dangerous period" of sobriety with 48 days ... and this is where I have fallen off the wagon in the past. I'd love to hear a list of long term benefits too!

I don't know if this was the wisest thing, but when I cut ties with the toxic man I sent him a loooong facebook message. Why? Well, it was my hope that instead of me giving no explanation as to why I'm cutting him off he would read the novel I wrote him and perhaps take it to heart. Maybe it would serve as a catalyst for him to make some positive changes in his life. I kinda doubt it .. but here's to hoping.

I am still worrying about him, but I know that will dissapear in a day or two

SoberRobster

I'm on day 37 and reading everyones posts I have concluded that I am in that tricky patch like many others on here. For the first time since quitting I have found myself thinking about drink and wanting one. I have been for a walk and deliberately left all money at home as I knew I had to walk past a pub and now am frantically looking forward to work on Monday when at least my mind will be fully occupied. This weekend has been a tough one - roll on Monday...