Class of March 2016 Support Part 13
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by PeacefulRain 
I'm in such a downward spiral right now that it scares me. I am literally crumbling before my husbands eyes and he is so obsessed with work that he doesn't even see it.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by Keets
I'm sorry imdont have anything to say that will help you. I am having a hard time getting myself through the nigh tonight. I'm here if you need to talk.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
PeacefulRain, I hope you can hold yourself together - just for a bit. Try and think this through and realize that drinking won't really help. Is there something in particular that's causing trouble today? Also, sometimes we get pretty good at hiding our issues and the self-inflicted wounds of our drinking. We expect others to notice, but they can't really see what's going on inside of us. Find a way to get things out in the open, if you can.
Keets, I hope your night gets better too. It's late for me but I'll try and stick around for a bit.
Come on back to chat, either of you. I'll be sending out positive thoughts in the meantime.
Keets, I hope your night gets better too. It's late for me but I'll try and stick around for a bit.
Come on back to chat, either of you. I'll be sending out positive thoughts in the meantime.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by PeacefulRain
I'm in such a downward spiral right now that it scares me. I am literally crumbling before my husbands eyes and he is so obsessed with work that he doesn't even see it.
Hugs...lots of them...for you. Hold on.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1,224
PR - you are in my thoughts. I wish I had wise words. We are hear for you to listen when you need an ear. Big hugs to you.
Casey - Grand Rapids, Michigan is my hometown. Didn't even know we had our own Bozo.
Lofty - I've been in the Chicago area for the last 24 years. Some in the city proper, the rest in the western and far southwest suburbs.
Last night was awful, which made today very hard. I should know from my spinal fusion a year and a half ago that physical recovery is a rocky road full of ups and downs. I was feeling good for a couple of days, even though I have trouble sleeping for more than a few hours at a time. So I was overly optimistic that I was on the upswing. But last night the pain flared up big time. All night. Nothing helped. Not pain meds, or ice. I was so tired I kept nodding off, but would only sleep a few minutes at a time before pain woke me up again. I finally got about two hours of solid sleep before having to get up for the day. I wanted to drink so badly today, but I am still sober. I kept thinking how much worse I'd feel with a hangover. And the danger of mixing meds and alcohol. And the damage I would do if I lost my balance and fell. That cured my craving pretty fast. I'm hoping for a better night tonight. Send sleepy dust my way, please!!
Casey - Grand Rapids, Michigan is my hometown. Didn't even know we had our own Bozo.
Lofty - I've been in the Chicago area for the last 24 years. Some in the city proper, the rest in the western and far southwest suburbs.
Last night was awful, which made today very hard. I should know from my spinal fusion a year and a half ago that physical recovery is a rocky road full of ups and downs. I was feeling good for a couple of days, even though I have trouble sleeping for more than a few hours at a time. So I was overly optimistic that I was on the upswing. But last night the pain flared up big time. All night. Nothing helped. Not pain meds, or ice. I was so tired I kept nodding off, but would only sleep a few minutes at a time before pain woke me up again. I finally got about two hours of solid sleep before having to get up for the day. I wanted to drink so badly today, but I am still sober. I kept thinking how much worse I'd feel with a hangover. And the danger of mixing meds and alcohol. And the damage I would do if I lost my balance and fell. That cured my craving pretty fast. I'm hoping for a better night tonight. Send sleepy dust my way, please!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 505
Originally Posted by CaseyW
And Keets I'm here if you need to talk as well. Sorry you are having a rough night.
I just feel like this week I have been walking in a fog and having a hard time getting motivated to do anything. I go see my therapist in the morning and I usually fill out a questioner about how I'm feeling lately so maybe I'll bring it up with him. As we get close to summer break I hav been triggered a lot by the what do i do next part as I have a bad habbit of drinking too much when I don't have to,drive anywhere.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 505
Sorry im not trying to ruin everyone's night. It's been a rough week for me. I don't know if it's the chemo another med or just me. I have been so tired and sleep way into the afternoon till I have to get my daughter lunch and off to school than I'm back home and napping again till they get out and walk home. I just do numb to anything I'm doing like I'm walking though a dream and so out of it. I'm sill 39 days sober though and I know drinking will only make things worse. I have just had enough of this feeling and can't shake it. im exhausted but can't sleep I yawn so much my jaw is sore and can't stop. also my husband has been working really super late and imswear when he comes home he acts like he has been drinking. I sure hope I'm just seeing things.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
That does sound like an awful night, clearlyheaded. I'm glad you thought the drink through today and steered clear of it. Remember we're also here to help when those cravings hit, though I know the typing issue can make that more difficult. The video I saw was from 1987 and Bozo announced an address at the end for TV13 in Grand Rapids. He was a rude Bozo judging by that one five minute video, so it's good you didn't know of him.
I think you most definitely should bring all this up with your therapist first thing, Keets. I know you said you are using an over the counter sleep aide and you thought it was part of the foggy issue. I know nothing about sleep meds but have you talked to your doctors about another solution? I would guess the chemo probably causes so many other potential medication interaction issues as well. Anyways, I'm glad you're here with us and think it says a lot about your strength and desire that you're so determined to stay sober. I hope this next week is a better one for you. Maybe you can get the kids involved in some kind of summer activity out of the house so that you'll still have some specific goals that you have to drive to every day? And I hope you're wrong about your husband.
You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I'm proud to have both of you as my friends in recovery.
I think you most definitely should bring all this up with your therapist first thing, Keets. I know you said you are using an over the counter sleep aide and you thought it was part of the foggy issue. I know nothing about sleep meds but have you talked to your doctors about another solution? I would guess the chemo probably causes so many other potential medication interaction issues as well. Anyways, I'm glad you're here with us and think it says a lot about your strength and desire that you're so determined to stay sober. I hope this next week is a better one for you. Maybe you can get the kids involved in some kind of summer activity out of the house so that you'll still have some specific goals that you have to drive to every day? And I hope you're wrong about your husband.
You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I'm proud to have both of you as my friends in recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
Keets, 39 days sober is a huge accomplishment under the best of circumstances. To manage it with everything else you have going on is amazing. You have my respect. You are a STAR. Hopefully your therapist or another doctor can help in-fog you. You deserve it.
[B]Clearlyheaded[B], you have my sympathies with your pain issues and congrats to you too for coming here and posting. That chronic pain stuff is no joke. The pain, the exhaustion and the way it intrudes into your whole life is no fun at all.
[B]Clearlyheaded[B], you have my sympathies with your pain issues and congrats to you too for coming here and posting. That chronic pain stuff is no joke. The pain, the exhaustion and the way it intrudes into your whole life is no fun at all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 505
Originally Posted by CaseyW
That does sound like an awful night, clearlyheaded. I'm glad you thought the drink through today and steered clear of it. Remember we're also here to help when those cravings hit, though I know the typing issue can make that more difficult. The video I saw was from 1987 and Bozo announced an address at the end for TV13 in Grand Rapids. He was a rude Bozo judging by that one five minute video, so it's good you didn't know of him.
I think you most definitely should bring all this up with your therapist first thing, Keets. I know you said you are using an over the counter sleep aide and you thought it was part of the foggy issue. I know nothing about sleep meds but have you talked to your doctors about another solution? I would guess the chemo probably causes so many other potential medication interaction issues as well. Anyways, I'm glad you're here with us and think it says a lot about your strength and desire that you're so determined to stay sober. I hope this next week is a better one for you. Maybe you can get the kids involved in some kind of summer activity out of the house so that you'll still have some specific goals that you have to drive to every day? And I hope you're wrong about your husband.
You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I'm proud to have both of you as my sober friend.
I think you most definitely should bring all this up with your therapist first thing, Keets. I know you said you are using an over the counter sleep aide and you thought it was part of the foggy issue. I know nothing about sleep meds but have you talked to your doctors about another solution? I would guess the chemo probably causes so many other potential medication interaction issues as well. Anyways, I'm glad you're here with us and think it says a lot about your strength and desire that you're so determined to stay sober. I hope this next week is a better one for you. Maybe you can get the kids involved in some kind of summer activity out of the house so that you'll still have some specific goals that you have to drive to every day? And I hope you're wrong about your husband.
You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I'm proud to have both of you as my sober friend.
If I can get the motivation I plan on doing stuff with my kids but right now all I feel like doing durging the day is sleep. I have 2 week to snap,out of it before they get out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 505
Originally Posted by ManInTheArena
Keets, 39 days sober is a huge accomplishment under the best of circumstances. To manage it with everything else you have going on is amazing. You have my respect. You are a STAR. Hopefully your therapist or another doctor can help in-fog you. You deserve it.
[B]Clearlyheaded[B], you have my sympathies with your pain issues and congrats to you too for coming here and posting. That chronic pain stuff is no joke. The pain, the exhaustion and the way it intrudes into your whole life is no fun at all.
[B]Clearlyheaded[B], you have my sympathies with your pain issues and congrats to you too for coming here and posting. That chronic pain stuff is no joke. The pain, the exhaustion and the way it intrudes into your whole life is no fun at all.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Well, Keets, one thing your body and mind is definitely not tricky about is that drinking is not the answer for you. You've proven that many times over the years. It's why you joined these forums in the first place and why you're here now. Sleep problems must be so frustrating--keep searching and working with your doctors. You're doing the right things as best as I can see so I know the right answers will come along for you. You can do this. You ARE doing this. No matter what, as I often say. Heck, you may be the best example of "no matter what" that we've got here in this class. You're an hour away from having 40 days sober. That's awesome and something you should be so proud of!
Sober date: 20th May 2023
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,384
Peaceful Rain and Keets be kind to yourselves. Sending lots of love and strength your way. Wish I could click my fingers and take your pain away.
Sweet Dreams Clearly Headed ,Jemma, Casey and anyone else headed to bed. xxx
Sweet Dreams Clearly Headed ,Jemma, Casey and anyone else headed to bed. xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,688
Keets, you make my struggle seem like a day at Disney World. You’re strength and courage is so incredible. Don’t sell yourself short; don’t take your eye off the ball. You’re amazing.
PR, I feel you. Big time. I’m not necessarily in a spiral but a brutal holding pattern. The spiral awaits me. We can both turn this around. I won’t suggest anything as I’m neither succeeding nor qualified, but I want you to know you’re not alone.
clearlyheaded, I’ve held off on surgery for years. The recovery time and PT is something I’m not ready for. My torn shoulder labrum is manageable for now. I applaud you for doing what you needed to when it became unmanageable. Sometimes the suffering in shorter term is for best in the long run. A lot like sobriety I would think, not that I would know much about that.
Pelagic and Kayak, I hope you’ll stick around. Casey is right that we’re stronger together, even if we just read. I didn’t see anything for either of you to be ashamed of or reason to leave.
immri, Casey, Applekat, MITA, Jemma, Bobbieka, Mish, sam, Lofty, Ladybug and all who I missed, thank you!
This really is a wonderful group that supports one another and doesn’t judge. Learning/Understanding/Accepting that I’m not alone in the struggle and the, for me, constant face plants, means a lot. Perhaps more than you’ll ever know. Or perhaps just like you all already know. I could go on with trying to express my gratitude that you haven’t turned me away during all this. And on and on and on, but this is lengthy enough. And disjointed too.
PR, I feel you. Big time. I’m not necessarily in a spiral but a brutal holding pattern. The spiral awaits me. We can both turn this around. I won’t suggest anything as I’m neither succeeding nor qualified, but I want you to know you’re not alone.
clearlyheaded, I’ve held off on surgery for years. The recovery time and PT is something I’m not ready for. My torn shoulder labrum is manageable for now. I applaud you for doing what you needed to when it became unmanageable. Sometimes the suffering in shorter term is for best in the long run. A lot like sobriety I would think, not that I would know much about that.
Pelagic and Kayak, I hope you’ll stick around. Casey is right that we’re stronger together, even if we just read. I didn’t see anything for either of you to be ashamed of or reason to leave.
immri, Casey, Applekat, MITA, Jemma, Bobbieka, Mish, sam, Lofty, Ladybug and all who I missed, thank you!
This really is a wonderful group that supports one another and doesn’t judge. Learning/Understanding/Accepting that I’m not alone in the struggle and the, for me, constant face plants, means a lot. Perhaps more than you’ll ever know. Or perhaps just like you all already know. I could go on with trying to express my gratitude that you haven’t turned me away during all this. And on and on and on, but this is lengthy enough. And disjointed too.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Originally Posted by Thirteenth
Keets, you make my struggle seem like a day at Disney World. You’re strength and courage is so incredible. Don’t sell yourself short; don’t take your eye off the ball. You’re amazing.
PR, I feel you. Big time. I’m not necessarily in a spiral but a brutal holding pattern. The spiral awaits me. We can both turn this around. I won’t suggest anything as I’m neither succeeding nor qualified, but I want you to know you’re not alone.
clearlyheaded, I’ve held off on surgery for years. The recovery time and PT is something I’m not ready for. My torn shoulder labrum is manageable for now. I applaud you for doing what you needed to when it became unmanageable. Sometimes the suffering in shorter term is for best in the long run. A lot like sobriety I would think, not that I would know much about that.
Pelagic and Kayak, I hope you’ll stick around. Casey is right that we’re stronger together, even if we just read. I didn’t see anything for either of you to be ashamed of or reason to leave.
immri, Casey, Applekat, MITA, Jemma, Bobbieka, Mish, sam, Lofty, Ladybug and all who I missed, thank you!
This really is a wonderful group that supports one another and doesn’t judge. Learning/Understanding/Accepting that I’m not alone in the struggle and the, for me, constant face plants, means a lot. Perhaps more than you’ll ever know. Or perhaps just like you all already know. I could go on with trying to express my gratitude that you haven’t turned me away during all this. And on and on and on, but this is lengthy enough. And disjointed too.
PR, I feel you. Big time. I’m not necessarily in a spiral but a brutal holding pattern. The spiral awaits me. We can both turn this around. I won’t suggest anything as I’m neither succeeding nor qualified, but I want you to know you’re not alone.
clearlyheaded, I’ve held off on surgery for years. The recovery time and PT is something I’m not ready for. My torn shoulder labrum is manageable for now. I applaud you for doing what you needed to when it became unmanageable. Sometimes the suffering in shorter term is for best in the long run. A lot like sobriety I would think, not that I would know much about that.
Pelagic and Kayak, I hope you’ll stick around. Casey is right that we’re stronger together, even if we just read. I didn’t see anything for either of you to be ashamed of or reason to leave.
immri, Casey, Applekat, MITA, Jemma, Bobbieka, Mish, sam, Lofty, Ladybug and all who I missed, thank you!
This really is a wonderful group that supports one another and doesn’t judge. Learning/Understanding/Accepting that I’m not alone in the struggle and the, for me, constant face plants, means a lot. Perhaps more than you’ll ever know. Or perhaps just like you all already know. I could go on with trying to express my gratitude that you haven’t turned me away during all this. And on and on and on, but this is lengthy enough. And disjointed too.
Moved my son out of his dorm last night and this morning. And now I sit and wait for 6 hrs as he completes his cmmunity servce for the college and the court. Man, I must really be a good dad! Lol. I am actually glad to have the 3 hr drve home to talk with him. He is only a couple weeks off the pot pipe and is seeing the light after a difficult semester. We have a lot to work on together this summer.
I continue to be amazed with the love, encouragement, and suppor on this thread. I think there are even some here who may have found their callng in life beyond keeping their own sobriety.
I am still out of tune, but love writing when I am sober. I was inspired last week by our newpapers editorial and wrote a response to it. Wouldnt ya know they want to publish it? Kinda proud of that.
I hope everyone has a peaceful, pain-free, sober day and weekend. Love to all. On to day 11...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Hi everyone. I'm jumping back in after 4 days of my usual nonsense. Four weeks from today is my vacation and staying sober these four weeks is my only shot at an alcohol free vacation, which is truly what I want. I worked too hard these past four months, to just go back to my old ways. This may sound like my typical empty promises, but the only one responsible for keeping them is me.
I will go back and and get caught up on posts, but I also think I may join May since I need all the support I can get.
This is so humbling, every single time. I know what I need to do, I have tools and resources and plans that work, the only thing stopping me is myself.
I will go back and and get caught up on posts, but I also think I may join May since I need all the support I can get.
This is so humbling, every single time. I know what I need to do, I have tools and resources and plans that work, the only thing stopping me is myself.
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