Class of March 2016 Support Thread Part 5
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Hi guys…
Samantha, good for you not going to the work thing. I know it’s hard at first, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. I doubt you’ll regret not going, but you could very well regret it if you do.
31 days is fantastic applekat, I am so proud of you! Staying home with kids is tough. I know what a challenge it can be. I commend you
Welcome Kayak, you can do this!
Jemma, I love the idea of “breaking the cycle”. Congrats on a month, that’s awesome.
Gardengirl, Gardening must be very cathartic. Yes, patience is a key. I find in these early days, every day feels different in some ways, good and bad.
So interesting to read about everyone’s family history with drinking. Whether it’s genetic or environment, or a combination of both, I really think it is at the crux of how many of us got here.
My parents divorced when I was very young. My dad was a drinker for sure, but I never saw it as a problem. Either I wouldn’t notice a change in his behavior, or he would get happy, or sometimes he would be difficult and fly off the handle a little bit. The last few years of his life, his drinking escalated to a very scary point, and it’s all still so raw I can’t even go into it. But he also was diagnosed with brain cancer a month before he died, so I really think it was all just a perfect storm. Anyway, things got out of hand and I truly believe that alcohol, as well as chemo and cancer of course, contributed to his death. This is really hard for me to write without crying but I know he wants to be a lesson for me, so that I do things differently. And I am determined to do that and make him proud. My mom drank regularly also, and still does. I think it’s a problem for her on some level, but I have a really hard time communicating with or understanding her these days so who knows.
Anyway, my uber- confident post earlier just shows how in these early days feelings can change from moment to moment. After work, even though drinking wasn’t an option because I’m without a car, I really wanted to. I tried to find the source: I was unsettled, so much to do yet didn’t feel like doing anything, basically just “uncomfortable” but for no good reason. And I noticed in that feeling, my mind automatically goes to alcohol to ease that unsettled feeling. Also, feeling and looking better (I am losing weight) leads me to self-sabotaging thoughts, as crazy as it seems. Like I don’t deserve to feel this good, or maybe it makes me feel vulnerable..it feels “safer” to have the extra weight and/or to feel messy and drunk or awful and hungover. Probably doesn’t make much sense, just trying to understand it and myself, so that I can hold on to sobriety for good this time.
Boy, this was a long one! Tomorrow is the last day of the month, let’s keep this group together and going strong. For those that haven’t checked in recently, please do….end the month with us and stay with us….
Samantha, good for you not going to the work thing. I know it’s hard at first, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. I doubt you’ll regret not going, but you could very well regret it if you do.
31 days is fantastic applekat, I am so proud of you! Staying home with kids is tough. I know what a challenge it can be. I commend you
Welcome Kayak, you can do this!
Jemma, I love the idea of “breaking the cycle”. Congrats on a month, that’s awesome.
Gardengirl, Gardening must be very cathartic. Yes, patience is a key. I find in these early days, every day feels different in some ways, good and bad.
So interesting to read about everyone’s family history with drinking. Whether it’s genetic or environment, or a combination of both, I really think it is at the crux of how many of us got here.
My parents divorced when I was very young. My dad was a drinker for sure, but I never saw it as a problem. Either I wouldn’t notice a change in his behavior, or he would get happy, or sometimes he would be difficult and fly off the handle a little bit. The last few years of his life, his drinking escalated to a very scary point, and it’s all still so raw I can’t even go into it. But he also was diagnosed with brain cancer a month before he died, so I really think it was all just a perfect storm. Anyway, things got out of hand and I truly believe that alcohol, as well as chemo and cancer of course, contributed to his death. This is really hard for me to write without crying but I know he wants to be a lesson for me, so that I do things differently. And I am determined to do that and make him proud. My mom drank regularly also, and still does. I think it’s a problem for her on some level, but I have a really hard time communicating with or understanding her these days so who knows.
Anyway, my uber- confident post earlier just shows how in these early days feelings can change from moment to moment. After work, even though drinking wasn’t an option because I’m without a car, I really wanted to. I tried to find the source: I was unsettled, so much to do yet didn’t feel like doing anything, basically just “uncomfortable” but for no good reason. And I noticed in that feeling, my mind automatically goes to alcohol to ease that unsettled feeling. Also, feeling and looking better (I am losing weight) leads me to self-sabotaging thoughts, as crazy as it seems. Like I don’t deserve to feel this good, or maybe it makes me feel vulnerable..it feels “safer” to have the extra weight and/or to feel messy and drunk or awful and hungover. Probably doesn’t make much sense, just trying to understand it and myself, so that I can hold on to sobriety for good this time.
Boy, this was a long one! Tomorrow is the last day of the month, let’s keep this group together and going strong. For those that haven’t checked in recently, please do….end the month with us and stay with us….
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
Wow! I have been catching up on posts. Congrats to those that are celebrating success! This class is a really good supportive class. It's good to see others like me who have slipped come back. We can't give up! Today is day 5. Feeling better today. Some people shared about their families...both my parents are drinkers. I think they are alcoholics.,I started drinking when I was a teenager, young like 14. I used to binge drink then too. Then I got pregnant and that changed my world. I had 2 daughters. Taking care of them straightened me out. When my marriage started going bad I recall binge drinking a few times but stopped right away bc I couldn't take care of my kids with a hangover. Then I got divorced. No binge drinking. Then I got remarried. The blended family thing didn't really work out. My step daughter died in our house of an accidental drug overdose. My kids moved out bc of my husband and bc I stopped enabling them. They took my grand daughter with them. My husband and I both had gastric bypass. We couldn't eat but didn't like being home so we started going out to dinner where we drank. Then we started going out more. With the gastric bypass, my tendency to binge drink and my emotional issues, ii couldn't handle the alcohol. We did a lot of crazy things. So I thought a move would be good. That I would leave it all behind. Nope...it followed. We moved to a new town. Where do you go to meet people? Bars, right? We continued the same pattern and the results have been the same. Now I am struggling with the situation with my husband. He's retired and not working. Gets no social interaction unless we go out. I'm having trouble balancing work, taking care of myself and trying to help my husband not feel so isolated. Physically the stress is taking its toll. When I'm home I graze all night so I am gaining weight. I'm not even hungry but I snack. My right is twitching and my vision has taken s turn. Dr says I need to destress. I feel like I am a mess. At the same time I am doing very well at work. Make good money and am recognized within my organization for my efforts. It's like there are 2 different sides of me.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Bobbieka 
Welcome, Kayak. Good job on day 4. Applekat, I did some research on stay at home moms and alcoholism. It seems this is truly an issue. I wonder if I had known this 15 years ago, I might have been more aware of my behavior?
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Jemma44
Hi everyone. Checking in! Casey, my username is just a variation of my name and I like the number 4. I don't have an avatar. My parents are normal drinkers, they literally have one or two like once a week. I've seen them have more than that (like 3 or 4 drinks) one time each. My brother is a recovering alcoholic with 7 yrs sobriety. Thanks for all your encouragement and support. You are amazing! Kiki, I'm definitely at stage 2. And reading your list of what happens when you drink is pretty much my life, only I have managed to quit smoking and have no craving for that whatsoever. (Pregnancy cured my craving??) I was so sick in early pregnancy that I have never felt the urge again and my baby is 11 months old. I've also lost several friends to alcoholism at very young ages--heat stroke, drowning, car accidents, organ failure. Surrender, my drinking pattern is similar to yours. I make it about a month and then I relapse terribly. I will go on a 3-7 day binge then. Then another month of sobriety and the cycle continues. I'm at about a month of sobriety now and am breaking the cycle Welcome to all the newcomers! Have a happy sober day all!
Welcome to all the newcomers! Have a happy sober day all!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Gardengirl80
Phew, made it through day three. I'm starting to feel a bit better and spent most of afternoon adding manure and rototilling garden. Going to go to bed early. A thousand times during day I'd catch myself worrying about the mess I've made of my life but keep replacing those thoughts with : Patience, patience- if you stay sober, life will get better. Once I gain a bit of self respect and confidence. Reading the comments is a good way to end the day. Thanks everyone
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by CaseyW
I don't know. It's always an option, I guess, but there are some things about AA that I really don't agree with. Not going to go into them here as I don't think it's appropriate as there are people here who are benefiting from the program. There are also tons of things I love about the program as well and I've tried to incorporate them into my recovery today--the most obvious being step 12 and helping another alcoholic in need being the best way for me to stay sober today. That basic tenet is how Bill W. met Dr. Bob in the first place, and I think it's absolutely amazing how much power there is in the simple act of one alcoholic helping another and thus keeping them both sober. If I felt like my recovery was on the line right now, first thing I'd do is post in here and next thing I'd do is get to an AA meeting and ask someone for some face to face help. So it's always an option. But I would have trouble fully committing to the program there at this time so it's not a regular part of my recovery as of right now.
A friend suggested I read it a while ago but I haven't yet.
Many Roads One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps by Charlotte Davis Kasl (Author)
Last edited by Dee74; 03-30-2016 at 10:42 PM. Reason: no commercial links please :)
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by foryoumyson
Day 3. Kind of a rough day was foggy and couldn't concentrate at all which made for a rough day and alot of mistakes. Then I came home and did nothing but eat..but still not drinking so ill take it.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Just got back from doing laundry at my dad's house. Glad it's over with. Wanted to shoot the TV while I was there as they had it on a political interview with someone I despise. Won't say anymore than that as politics should definitely not enter this place. They have nothing to do with recovery.
Bought a huge bag of Easter candy from the grocery store on the way home for $6. I don't need the candy but I wanted it. I'm blessed with a pretty good metabolism even at age 41 but still like to try and eat healthy most of the time. But not tonight. I was craving something sweet so I got a big bag full of sweet options.
The neighbor's baby won't stop screaming. Ugh.
So glad you've joined us, foryoumyson. Congrats on day 3. I can definitely relate to that early-on brain fog. I'm on day 18 and it's dissipated for the most part. Stick with us!
Thanks for sharing about your dad's drinking, forabetterlife. While I was aware of his passing, I had missed you telling about his drinking before. Glad you weren't able to get that drink today. Maybe the lack of control, ie not having the car, was the actual problem. Like you want what you know there's no way you can have?
I don't know if you have any spiritual or religious beliefs, rah555. If you do, maybe you and your husband could find some fellowship at a church. Just a thought, and I certainly understand if it's not an option. I know it's not really one for me personally. I know you mentioned exercise and some counseling as things you wanted to get into this morning. Keep those goals in mind. I feel for all the stress you're under--just keep reminding yourself that drinking is only going to make it worse.
I'll look into that book, KiKi. Thanks for the suggestion.
Worried a little about our Fabela. She hasn't posted in here or in her own help thread in quite a while today. Hope she's just busy and all is OK.
If any of you haven't checked in yet today, hope you'll do so soon. If you've been drinking, hope you'll stop doing so immediately and re-affirm your membership in this class. Today is a great day to start your recovery!
Bought a huge bag of Easter candy from the grocery store on the way home for $6. I don't need the candy but I wanted it. I'm blessed with a pretty good metabolism even at age 41 but still like to try and eat healthy most of the time. But not tonight. I was craving something sweet so I got a big bag full of sweet options.
The neighbor's baby won't stop screaming. Ugh.
Originally Posted by foryoumyson
Day 3.
Kind of a rough day was foggy and couldn't concentrate at all which made for a rough day and alot of mistakes. Then I came home and did nothing but eat..but still not drinking so ill take it.
Kind of a rough day was foggy and couldn't concentrate at all which made for a rough day and alot of mistakes. Then I came home and did nothing but eat..but still not drinking so ill take it.
Thanks for sharing about your dad's drinking, forabetterlife. While I was aware of his passing, I had missed you telling about his drinking before. Glad you weren't able to get that drink today. Maybe the lack of control, ie not having the car, was the actual problem. Like you want what you know there's no way you can have?
I don't know if you have any spiritual or religious beliefs, rah555. If you do, maybe you and your husband could find some fellowship at a church. Just a thought, and I certainly understand if it's not an option. I know it's not really one for me personally. I know you mentioned exercise and some counseling as things you wanted to get into this morning. Keep those goals in mind. I feel for all the stress you're under--just keep reminding yourself that drinking is only going to make it worse.
I'll look into that book, KiKi. Thanks for the suggestion.
Worried a little about our Fabela. She hasn't posted in here or in her own help thread in quite a while today. Hope she's just busy and all is OK.
If any of you haven't checked in yet today, hope you'll do so soon. If you've been drinking, hope you'll stop doing so immediately and re-affirm your membership in this class. Today is a great day to start your recovery!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Sorry for hijacking the thread today guys! It was a rough day & posting a lot really helped!
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Sorry for hijacking the thread today guys! It was a rough day & posting a lot really helped!
Glad you hijacked and glad it helped!!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by rah555
Wow! I have been catching up on posts. Congrats to those that are celebrating success! This class is a really good supportive class. It's good to see others like me who have slipped come back. We can't give up! Today is day 5. Feeling better today. Some people shared about their families...both my parents are drinkers. I think they are alcoholics.,I started drinking when I was a teenager, young like 14. I used to binge drink then too. Then I got pregnant and that changed my world. I had 2 daughters. Taking care of them straightened me out. When my marriage started going bad I recall binge drinking a few times but stopped right away bc I couldn't take care of my kids with a hangover. Then I got divorced. No binge drinking. Then I got remarried. The blended family thing didn't really work out. My step daughter died in our house of an accidental drug overdose. My kids moved out bc of my husband and bc I stopped enabling them. They took my grand daughter with them. My husband and I both had gastric bypass. We couldn't eat but didn't like being home so we started going out to dinner where we drank. Then we started going out more. With the gastric bypass, my tendency to binge drink and my emotional issues, ii couldn't handle the alcohol. We did a lot of crazy things. So I thought a move would be good. That I would leave it all behind. Nope...it followed. We moved to a new town. Where do you go to meet people? Bars, right? We continued the same pattern and the results have been the same. Now I am struggling with the situation with my husband. He's retired and not working. Gets no social interaction unless we go out. I'm having trouble balancing work, taking care of myself and trying to help my husband not feel so isolated. Physically the stress is taking its toll. When I'm home I graze all night so I am gaining weight. I'm not even hungry but I snack. My right is twitching and my vision has taken s turn. Dr says I need to destress. I feel like I am a mess. At the same time I am doing very well at work. Make good money and am recognized within my organization for my efforts. It's like there are 2 different sides of me.
I think it's interesting to hear everyone's stories and learn a little more about everyone.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Hi Renew, did you binge drink/drink at bars etc at one point & then it progressed to drinking at home? Just curious.
And...What does "imo" mean and what is reverse tolerance?
Good to hear from you! :-)
And...What does "imo" mean and what is reverse tolerance?
Good to hear from you! :-)
Yes. In my twenties, I didn't drink daily, nor weekly. Binged, but when I did it was usually way too much! Smoked a little weed at night to sleep, when I could find it. In my teens I drank & smoked more. Ran away from home. Also ran away in pre-teens.
Early thirties like my twenties. Mid thirties dropped out of college due to finances. A friend helped me get into the hospitality business. Moved to back of house at one job, managed a bar. Oh boy. Then forties moved into a different industry. Stopped for a good time. Lost job. Started at home more. Still went out. Yes, drove drunk.
UGH. Late forties, fifties, mainly home. Scared of possible legal consequences. Your list is a lot like mine. Worse things too. My recollection isn't exactly perfect. Have smoked small amounts of weed occasionally, haven't since I quit drinking. I have thought about it though.
IMO, means In my opinion. Or IMHO, means in my humble opinion. Reverse tolerance means, when you pass the stage of increased tolerance. Drinking less amounts, but having the same results. Getting drunk off less booze. Basically, it's like climbing a mountain & then climbing back down.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 61
10:00pm - Hi Everyone, thank you so much for your understanding. I am so upset with myself and still do not have a plan.
CaseyW- I do agree with you about my husband locking them up. Out of sight out of mind. His surgery is Monday and we need to have a long sit down after.
On a good note, I did apply for 3 jobs today and still no calls yet. I do believe that if I was working the recovery would be so much easier. It's really hard sitting here pacing the floor trying to keep myself occupied.
I am going to spend time catching up on everyone's posts now. Sorry I haven't been around to offer my support:-(.
CaseyW- I do agree with you about my husband locking them up. Out of sight out of mind. His surgery is Monday and we need to have a long sit down after.
On a good note, I did apply for 3 jobs today and still no calls yet. I do believe that if I was working the recovery would be so much easier. It's really hard sitting here pacing the floor trying to keep myself occupied.
I am going to spend time catching up on everyone's posts now. Sorry I haven't been around to offer my support:-(.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
Still catching up a bit on the posts. It seems our class continues to grow - welcome to everyone new, and great job everyone on working hard and sharing your stories of both strife and success.
On the avatar/name front, the original Rocky movie came out when I was 16. Rocky has been a part of my life ever since. It's not just the battles in the ring, it's his internal battles that I can relate to. Also, I think the Rocky movies are underrated as a love story - I think everyone has their own internal battles and I hope everyone at some point has an Adrian to fight with and for!
Family history - I think I hit the jackpot. Alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, suicide, incarceration - just tons of dysfunction everywhere. I feel pretty lucky I just have a drinking problem!! (Ok, maybe I've got some anxiety and self esteem issues, too - haha). I've been fortunate to make and keep some really good friends over the years. They've always supported me and pushed me in the right direction. Things could easily be much worse!
It's only recently that I've really tried to see for myself what it is in me that they have seen all these years. I must have some redeeming qualities that allow me to hold onto such a great group. In some ways I feel like maybe I'm a late bloomer (like really, really late). But this is where I am at now - I'll take it !
On the avatar/name front, the original Rocky movie came out when I was 16. Rocky has been a part of my life ever since. It's not just the battles in the ring, it's his internal battles that I can relate to. Also, I think the Rocky movies are underrated as a love story - I think everyone has their own internal battles and I hope everyone at some point has an Adrian to fight with and for!
Family history - I think I hit the jackpot. Alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, suicide, incarceration - just tons of dysfunction everywhere. I feel pretty lucky I just have a drinking problem!! (Ok, maybe I've got some anxiety and self esteem issues, too - haha). I've been fortunate to make and keep some really good friends over the years. They've always supported me and pushed me in the right direction. Things could easily be much worse!
It's only recently that I've really tried to see for myself what it is in me that they have seen all these years. I must have some redeeming qualities that allow me to hold onto such a great group. In some ways I feel like maybe I'm a late bloomer (like really, really late). But this is where I am at now - I'll take it !
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Casey, pretty sure is 4:30 am in Norway. Hopefully Fabela has been in bed. Which is where I'm headed. The flu has kicked my butt.
Thanks for keeping me sober. Night class. Have sweet, sober dreams.
Thanks for keeping me sober. Night class. Have sweet, sober dreams.
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