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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 6

Old 03-03-2016, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by OldTomato View Post
Dee - She lives in a completely different city, and she's only down for the weekend and has plans for both days. So the decision is the drinking and my ex, the awkward family meal, or completely giving it a miss.
Hmmmm it's your call OT. But if you go then you should be certain beforehand that you can stay away from alcohol. Remember. ...another member went to an outing recently where there would be a lot of alcohol and we haven't heard from that member since. Might be something else of course.

I guess you have to weigh up what's more important to you......potentially risking your sobriety by seeing your friend or staying sober. Can you not catch up with her next time she's in town?

You'll make the right decision.
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Old 03-03-2016, 03:20 PM
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Coco + Dee - I think I could be around alcohol and stay strong, everyone knows my situation (although maybe that's a case of easier said than done). I'd also have to reconnect with my ex through my AA stepwork anyway (my drinking caused a lot of problems come the end), but maybe it's too soon. I'll ask my closest friend for advice tomorrow, she always has the right answer. Right now I'm leaning towards giving it a miss and visiting her in her city in the near future.
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Old 03-03-2016, 03:24 PM
  # 423 (permalink)  
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I'm off to bed now guys, I have an early meeting tomorrow. Catch you all in the morning!
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Old 03-03-2016, 03:24 PM
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Originally Posted by amazingjoy View Post
OK...here's some levity for the thread for a moment...

My daughter is 9 (almost 10) and we have been watching Fuller House on Netflix. Oh my head...we are laughing so much together watching this show!

It is such a WONDERFUL feeling to be laughing so genuinely...from deep down inside and fully present with her!
Hi amazing

Thanks for your kind words.

I know exactly what you mean re: laughing. I'm so happy that you and your daughter are happy and laughing together. I know what you mean by genuinely laughing. For me, a lot of the time, when I was drinking or thinking about drinking, it was somewhat forced or contrived laughs because my attention and energy was really elsewhere (on alcohol). And I knew it was somewhat forced which used to make me feel bad.....like a failure as a mother who can't truly laugh with my son.

Yeah.....alcohol robs kids of a parent/s.
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Old 03-03-2016, 03:30 PM
  # 425 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by OldTomato View Post
Coco + Dee - I think I could be around alcohol and stay strong, everyone knows my situation (although maybe that's a case of easier said than done). I'd also have to reconnect with my ex through my AA stepwork anyway (my drinking caused a lot of problems come the end), but maybe it's too soon. I'll ask my closest friend for advice tomorrow, she always has the right answer. Right now I'm leaning towards giving it a miss and visiting her in her city in the near future.
OK. Well make sure you have a plan and a back up plan if you go. And most importantly, have great time if you go. You can have a great time without alcohol. But you already know that :-)

One other wee thing......having to discuss your ex in AA or therapy or the like is one thing. Being faced with him surrounded by alcohol might be quite another. Just saying.

Please don't stress about making a decision about this. Just think it through honestly (as in, being honest with yourself) a d logically and make the call. If you decide to go then make a plan and a back up plan. If it were me I would seriously prepare for how I will deal with any emotions re: the ex should they arise during the outing.

Night.
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Old 03-03-2016, 03:31 PM
  # 426 (permalink)  
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Amazingjoy - I don't have a kiddo old enough to watch it with me, but yeah - I already finished all 13 episodes!!
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Old 03-03-2016, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
I honestly feel as thought OOTT does like you. He didn't not mention you intentionally. I've done that too. Sometimes you miss posts. Sometimes you haven't got the times to read them all. We have probably all done it unintentionally. I know there's been heaps of times where I've just been overlooked. Yeah I take it a bit personally for a second because I'm very sensitive, but then I just get over it. I try not to let other people's hang ups effect me.
What happened? What did I miss? I've been crazy busy at work all day, and I was posting early this morning in a hurry. If I missed my favorite woman in the UK evah (except Chrissie Hynde and Chris McVie, of course), then I apologize. When I get home I'll go through the thread and make . . . amends.
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:01 PM
  # 428 (permalink)  
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Hi OOTT

You haven't done anything!

I think knb may have got the wrong end of the stick like we all do sometimes.

I think knb got a bit offended when you posted "thank you" to some members without thanking her as well when she felt as they she had offered support, help and advice too. And I think she felt a bit excluded by you.

I think knb feels as though it might be because she expressed that she felt as though one of your previous posts to OT was perhaps a bit harsh.

I'm not suggesting anybody was harsh to anybody. And I'm not suggesting anybody was intentionally not thanking anybody. Im just saying how knb feels.

She really likes you but feels you may not like her. It's obviously a small misunderstanding.
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:03 PM
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It's better to air misunderstandings. Then we can kiss and make up and move on.
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Auggie View Post
Hey GG. It's illegal for your counselor to share your information with your specialist unless you have given permission to do so in writing. Unless they work for the same agency.
Whoo hoo that is a HIPPA violation out the wahzoo in the US.
In this case it's to your benefit if they're on the same page with your care.
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:08 PM
  # 431 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Outonthetiles View Post
What happened? What did I miss? I've been crazy busy at work all day, and I was posting early this morning in a hurry. If I missed my favorite woman in the UK evah (except Chrissie Hynde and Chris McVie, of course), then I apologize. When I get home I'll go through the thread and make . . . amends.
She is just playing with us. It's a UK sense of humor thing
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:12 PM
  # 432 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
Hi amazing

Thanks for your kind words.

I know exactly what you mean re: laughing. I'm so happy that you and your daughter are happy and laughing together. I know what you mean by genuinely laughing. For me, a lot of the time, when I was drinking or thinking about drinking, it was somewhat forced or contrived laughs because my attention and energy was really elsewhere (on alcohol). And I knew it was somewhat forced which used to make me feel bad.....like a failure as a mother who can't truly laugh
Yeah.....alcohol robs kids of a parent/s.

It does. I've lost time and I'm not doing that crap again. More recently I've had the strength in the evenings to do the kids baths whereas I was previously in DTs between weekend benders. I'm noticing them playing and fighting (more playing) in the tub right now.
I'll miss it one day
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:14 PM
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KNB Gurrrlllllllllllllllllll !!!! you betta get yo butt back in here! :-P
Cococo!!!! HI *HUGS*
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:17 PM
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OldTomato. I know how it feels to think your intruding on a family bday dinner.. but I invite friends all the time to mine. (and these are friends I see more often than you see her I'm sure) I don't think she feels obligated inviting you to that if you don't make the party. I think she just really wants to see you and appreciates what you're doing for yourself . Do you know her family well? If so, I say you go to the dinner.
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by CuteNGayYay View Post
KNB Gurrrlllllllllllllllllll !!!! you betta get yo butt back in here! :-P
Cococo!!!! HI *HUGS*

Hi my darling.

Glad to read you are trucking along like a tropper

Yes that's right re: getting butts back here lol. We all genuinely love and care about knb
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Badger07 View Post
She is just playing with us. It's a UK sense of humor thing
That's true. Nothing is funnier than UK humour. Sorry to people in the US but in my humble opinion the funniest comedies have all been made in the UK.

I was watching Fawlty Towers on netflix last week. Haven't watched it in 20 years. And OMG I almost wet my pants laughing - literally. Had to rush off several times. Mr Fawlty is completely off his rocker LOL HAHA. I'm cracking up right now just even thinking about it.
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
It does. I've lost time and I'm not doing that crap again. More recently I've had the strength in the evenings to do the kids baths whereas I was previously in DTs between weekend benders. I'm noticing them playing and fighting (more playing) in the tub right now.
I'll miss it one day
Hi JL

Yeah its like the fog is lifting aye. Everything becomes slowly clearer and brighter.

It's so lovely to hear that you are getting more involved with your kids and more aware of them. Interesting, are the small people. Mine is as cunning as a rat lol. Its interesting to watch him trying to get one over me! He's quite ingenious! But I have eyes on the back of my head lol

Have a lovely night JL
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:37 PM
  # 438 (permalink)  
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Whatever you decide this link will probably be helpful to you and others here OT
(Title aside, it works for any social situations)

http://www.cryingoutnow.com/2010/11/...val-guide.html

D
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
That's true. Nothing is funnier than UK humour. Sorry to people in the US but in my humble opinion the funniest comedies have all been made in the UK.
I always like Absolutely Fabulous. What a drunk her character was...
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Outonthetiles View Post
What happened? What did I miss? I've been crazy busy at work all day, and I was posting early this morning in a hurry. If I missed my favorite woman in the UK evah (except Chrissie Hynde and Chris McVie, of course), then I apologize. When I get home I'll go through the thread and make . . . amends.
I skip read your post before duh. Didn't read it properly.

There you go knb. OOTT is a lovely person just like you and has apologies for missing out mentioning you.

It's a just a misunderstanding.

For me, I know that during this sobering up period my emotions are more obvious to me. I'm more aware. Perhaps you could say more sensitive. I'm only referring to myself here. It's how it has been for me. I believe there is somebody prevalent here that hardly ever refers to me. Now I could get all worked up about it but I keep in mind that it's not all about me and I could be just reading too much in to it. I tend to do that! But regardless if it's so or not, I've got to keep on my path.

One thing I'm trying to learn through this process is that I'm not going to get along with everybody in real life and not everybody is going to like me in real life, but I can't turn to the bottle for emotional support about that because it offers no support at all. I just have to learn how to deal with rejection by thinking and talking it through.

I'm just talking about myself here. How it is for me.
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