Dee74

I did a lot of that sitting on my hands too Frank.
From this perspective I thing weakness would be running to the store.

Not doing that takes some courage and strength

D

FrankLapidas

Last night was an absolute b*tch, but I made it. Geez, I hope this ends sometime.

Thank you all for your support.

Cissy

Three cheers for making it! I loved that video. Sorry that it represented how you felt. Hope brighter days are right around the corner.

NestWasEmpty

I'm not on much anymore Frank , but when I do I'm Glad to always see that you made it though another day
As far as that goes I'm Happy for everyone making though another day !
Hope it gets easier pretty soon for you Frank . Always remember how hard it was to get to where you are now . The starting back over again & again is worse People are here to Help ..

Soberwolf

Hi Frank

saoutchik

Attaboy Frank resisting like that. Hope today is better

FrankLapidas

There will be brighter days.

Thank you all for posting. You are all so important to me.

Hevyn

I loved the video also. I'm happy you made it over that hurdle.

You're important to us too.

Tooshabby

I loved it too. You are important to us as well. I love the kindness on this forum.

FrankLapidas

Dearest Miss Shabby, I hate HATE that all I do on this thread is b*itch and moan. Just not in a good place. I clicked on my link to Loggins and Messina and all I did was cry like a baby.

Please hang in there with me.

Tooshabby

You bet ya!! You do what you need to do for the place you are in right now. We get it. It's much healthier than putting on a brave face. Did you know we actually release some kind of stress chemical when we cry? At least that's what I heard...maybe it's a myth(?) Makes sense there would be some biological point to it though, as well as conveying sympathy to others or that we need support. Little bit of useless trivia :-)

FrankLapidas

But I need a brave face right now. Thank you for talking to me.

Tooshabby

Well, you could argue that true bravery doesn't preclude admitting things are tough. Just getting through this life is courage enough, whatever face we have on. I admire every human being on that count, but particularly people who suffer a great deal. No-one 'asks for it'. I truly believe that.

FrankLapidas

The problem with your theory is that I don't suffer, never have. It's unfair that I haven't. I don't have an excuse as to where I find myself. Not to sound like Donald Trump, but I'm a good looking guy, and have succeeded at everything I've done.

Kurt Vonnegut (my hero) attempted suicide via pills on a few occasions before he realized there was a new pill, an anti-depressant, and that he didn't suffer from being crazy, he just suffered from his brain wiring was weird.

I go to 40mg of Cymbalta tomorrow.

Thank you for talking to me.

Tooshabby

Suffering comes in lots of forms - chemical imbalances that cause depression being one of them. Don't you think? Arguably, the fact (if it is one) that you don't have an 'excuse' (I prefer a word like 'reason') makes it even harder. It does sound a bit like this idea has caused you to be self-critical in that respect(?) Which is additional suffering...

Cissy

I agree. The head games and the internal pain and suffering is worse (oftentimes) than the physical suffering. Then you have the added guilt of knowing you really shouldn't be feeling like you are cause you're a good looking guy who succeeds at everything he tries to do.

Donald Trump. Don't go there, Frank.

FrankLapidas

One (that would be me) can only hope it's as simple as a chemical imbalance, Otherwise I'm on the road to David Foster Wallace and Hemingway. I don't want to go there. If you read their early writings they telegraphed their demise.

Thank you for talking to me.

Tooshabby

O.m.g.....there must be something wrong with me, because I can't get enough of Donald Trump. My brother has Skye T.V. over here, so for the first time in my life I am stomaching Fox News. As one reporter quipped, "Who doesn't enjoy a circus?!" (Cue circus music)

FrankLapidas

Hah! My first laugh of the day. Thank you, Cissy.

Tooshabby

I think you said that you have been on SSRIs three times before? The first two, successfully, but the third time you quit taking them because they didn't kick in after several weeks. That sounds to me like a chemical imbalance, and apparently (or so I have heard and experienced), each successive time you take them they can take longer to kick in. Remember too, that you are in the midst of it right now, so it would be 'abnormal' in that sense to have a positive outlook. In other words, hang in there!!!