Class of August 2014 Part 19
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
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Good morning all :-)
How nice to be sober on a sunny Saturday morning, always grateful for that. Today is my usual AA and a quick gym visit. Then I want to enjoy the weather in the park as I am not sure how many morning warm weekends we will have.
Enjoy the races 1step! Pink I want one of your macarons!
Hope everyone has a great day.
How nice to be sober on a sunny Saturday morning, always grateful for that. Today is my usual AA and a quick gym visit. Then I want to enjoy the weather in the park as I am not sure how many morning warm weekends we will have.
Enjoy the races 1step! Pink I want one of your macarons!
Hope everyone has a great day.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Happy Saturday! Bright and sunny outside, a morning like this deserves to be greeted with a clear head and a guiltless smile.
Morning full of errands. Not that exciting, but everything is what you make it. As they say, before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water.
Was thinking a lot lately about how real, and even raw, life is now. Everything is felt without the anesthesia. I realized that perhaps some of the friendships I see drifting into the shadows were never actually that strong or deep. I just thought they were in my slightly delusional state. I kind of fooled myself because I was drunk and they appeared to care or listen or at least return my stupid drunken text. Looking back, I feel kind of silly thinking some of them were my closest friends. It was largely all in my mind. I feel kind of stupid about it actually, like I was cheated or just placated like a child. Something to work through and I will do it. Just sharing cause you may be feeling similar things. It is healthy to work these things through I think. Not to just act tough and push them down in your soul, but to face them and keep moving forward and getting stronger.
"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Havelock Ellis.
Attitude of gratitude team, we are doing this thing and playing for keeps.
Morning full of errands. Not that exciting, but everything is what you make it. As they say, before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water.
Was thinking a lot lately about how real, and even raw, life is now. Everything is felt without the anesthesia. I realized that perhaps some of the friendships I see drifting into the shadows were never actually that strong or deep. I just thought they were in my slightly delusional state. I kind of fooled myself because I was drunk and they appeared to care or listen or at least return my stupid drunken text. Looking back, I feel kind of silly thinking some of them were my closest friends. It was largely all in my mind. I feel kind of stupid about it actually, like I was cheated or just placated like a child. Something to work through and I will do it. Just sharing cause you may be feeling similar things. It is healthy to work these things through I think. Not to just act tough and push them down in your soul, but to face them and keep moving forward and getting stronger.
"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Havelock Ellis.
Attitude of gratitude team, we are doing this thing and playing for keeps.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Dialing back the training didn't work (no surprise). I ran 21 miles today.
Tomorrow I do one of the three training runs on the course itself.
Little by little I'm gaining confidence that this is acheivable. (I recognized on teh run that my training mirrors the decision to become alcohol free).
Lets continue to do the right things Team!
Tomorrow I do one of the three training runs on the course itself.
Little by little I'm gaining confidence that this is acheivable. (I recognized on teh run that my training mirrors the decision to become alcohol free).
Lets continue to do the right things Team!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Good work ultra, 21 miles is freakin awesome!
Had a surprisingly tough av day. Had to apply as much effort as I did early on. Totally duck dived knowing it would pass. Chillin now and doing some yoga stretches. Just ate a huge plate of vegetables and quinoa. Feel so much better and back on track. Av was throwing the life is short junk at me....
Eye on the prize baby!
Had a surprisingly tough av day. Had to apply as much effort as I did early on. Totally duck dived knowing it would pass. Chillin now and doing some yoga stretches. Just ate a huge plate of vegetables and quinoa. Feel so much better and back on track. Av was throwing the life is short junk at me....
Eye on the prize baby!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
Determined, you're post hit home with me. I am feeling bad about "friendships" lost too. I used to spend every Saturday with my sister when we lived in CT. since we moved we barely talk. For years my husband and u would spend every Saturday night with another couple. We've only talked to them a few times since we moved which is just over a year. We've invited them to come visit but they haven't, I guess those things have really affected my trust and willingness to invest in new friendships. I'm feeling like I don't "stick" to anyone and they don't stick to me. Day28!!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey guys
Just a quick post as I am going running before it gets too hot.
Lovely early Sunday wake up and hangover free. Later I am going to head into town and do some London sightseeing. 14 years and I still have some museums and sights to see.
Well done on kicking the AV determined.
Ultra - huge run! Well done :-)
Just a quick post as I am going running before it gets too hot.
Lovely early Sunday wake up and hangover free. Later I am going to head into town and do some London sightseeing. 14 years and I still have some museums and sights to see.
Well done on kicking the AV determined.
Ultra - huge run! Well done :-)
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Determind well done my man, sometimes it just hits you. Good plan, feed your Belly! Always helps me! You did good x
Ultra, 21 is a fab raining run! Well done! When is the big run?
London, sober Sundays totally rock, though you are more dedicated than me today, you went for a run. I had a lie in! I'm down in London next saturday myself. Friday is my 1 year sober, and Sunday is my 7 year anniversary with my boy, so we are coming to London Saturday to have a lovely day together. Anything going on anywhere? X
Today in going for a walk around the wash nature reserve, it's only half hour from me. The sun is shining and it's a beautiful day! Enjoy!
Ultra, 21 is a fab raining run! Well done! When is the big run?
London, sober Sundays totally rock, though you are more dedicated than me today, you went for a run. I had a lie in! I'm down in London next saturday myself. Friday is my 1 year sober, and Sunday is my 7 year anniversary with my boy, so we are coming to London Saturday to have a lovely day together. Anything going on anywhere? X
Today in going for a walk around the wash nature reserve, it's only half hour from me. The sun is shining and it's a beautiful day! Enjoy!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Pink I have a marathon the first week of October followed by my big run two weeks later.
The marathon is only a couple of miles longer than my last scheduled training run so I decided to sign up.
ILet's have a great day Team!
The marathon is only a couple of miles longer than my last scheduled training run so I decided to sign up.
ILet's have a great day Team!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Good morning,
I had company the past few days- three nieces; they left yesterday, and Bob and I are going to the Red Sox game today. We have not been to one winning game yet this season, so hopefully they will win today.
1Step, I love how positive your posts are these days.
London, I used to have great conversations with myself - possibly with lampposts, too, but I don't recall. I remember reading that Hemingway wrote all his books while intoxicated, and that made perfect sense to me! My imagination was wild when I was drunk.
Determined, I think the main reason I am sober is because I learned about HALT on this thread and realized that hunger was the main trigger for my drinking.
Determined and Rah, your posts made me think. In addition to the two women I knew professionally in Boston that were my drinking buddies, you made me realize I rarely see a neighbor that used to drop by quite often with a bottle or two of wine or a twelve pack of beer. She and I would drink together at least twice a month. She was a twice-divorced malpractice attorney, and we would get pie-eyed together and tell each other crazy work-related stories. I just realized that she stopped coming over as often once she realized I was drinking Clear Choice or seltzer, and since Christmas I have only seen her to go to the movies (something we always did sober) and a few times - mostly recently on the beach. I really enjoy her company, but it is obvious, although unspoken, that our drinking together days are over, and sadly that was a large part of our friendship.
Worse than that is the number of friends I have lost contact with because we had little in common because they were social or non-drinkers while I was drinking.
Ultra, are you going to run next year's Boston Marathon? It sounds like you are certainly ready for it.
Pink, my car headed right for a bakery, and I bought a dozen large macaroons after reading your post yesterday. I had not had one in years. My grandmother used to bake delicious ones, and she would always leave some in the oven a few extra minutes for me as that is how I prefer them.
Greetings to everyone else. Choobie? Grateful? How are you doing?
Let's keep on keeping on!
I had company the past few days- three nieces; they left yesterday, and Bob and I are going to the Red Sox game today. We have not been to one winning game yet this season, so hopefully they will win today.
1Step, I love how positive your posts are these days.
London, I used to have great conversations with myself - possibly with lampposts, too, but I don't recall. I remember reading that Hemingway wrote all his books while intoxicated, and that made perfect sense to me! My imagination was wild when I was drunk.
Determined, I think the main reason I am sober is because I learned about HALT on this thread and realized that hunger was the main trigger for my drinking.
Determined and Rah, your posts made me think. In addition to the two women I knew professionally in Boston that were my drinking buddies, you made me realize I rarely see a neighbor that used to drop by quite often with a bottle or two of wine or a twelve pack of beer. She and I would drink together at least twice a month. She was a twice-divorced malpractice attorney, and we would get pie-eyed together and tell each other crazy work-related stories. I just realized that she stopped coming over as often once she realized I was drinking Clear Choice or seltzer, and since Christmas I have only seen her to go to the movies (something we always did sober) and a few times - mostly recently on the beach. I really enjoy her company, but it is obvious, although unspoken, that our drinking together days are over, and sadly that was a large part of our friendship.
Worse than that is the number of friends I have lost contact with because we had little in common because they were social or non-drinkers while I was drinking.
Ultra, are you going to run next year's Boston Marathon? It sounds like you are certainly ready for it.
Pink, my car headed right for a bakery, and I bought a dozen large macaroons after reading your post yesterday. I had not had one in years. My grandmother used to bake delicious ones, and she would always leave some in the oven a few extra minutes for me as that is how I prefer them.
Greetings to everyone else. Choobie? Grateful? How are you doing?
Let's keep on keeping on!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Sunday morning! Attitude of gratitude, all is good peeps.
Feel much better today, rough spots come sometimes so yesterday was a good lesson and reminder to keep a little guard posted in my head that's constantly on alert for trouble, I.e, av thoughts, etc..
Rah, you are doing great! The friend thing is tough, really tough. I find it is so important to be able to withdraw inside yourself sometimes and really process emotions in a healthy way. Really dangerous trigger if we don't. Eye on the prize rah, you got this. Life is truly better overall without the poison, positive return on investment for sure.
Thanks pink and London, taking your approach and getting out for a little hike and exploring.
1step, Choobie, scooter, grateful, dry and team, give us a Sunday shout and and testify! Hallelujah! Woo! High fives and such!!
Going running in a bit, but 21 miles it is not mr ultra!
"With every deed you are sowing a seed, though the harvest you may not see." Ella Wilcox
Look up.
Feel much better today, rough spots come sometimes so yesterday was a good lesson and reminder to keep a little guard posted in my head that's constantly on alert for trouble, I.e, av thoughts, etc..
Rah, you are doing great! The friend thing is tough, really tough. I find it is so important to be able to withdraw inside yourself sometimes and really process emotions in a healthy way. Really dangerous trigger if we don't. Eye on the prize rah, you got this. Life is truly better overall without the poison, positive return on investment for sure.
Thanks pink and London, taking your approach and getting out for a little hike and exploring.
1step, Choobie, scooter, grateful, dry and team, give us a Sunday shout and and testify! Hallelujah! Woo! High fives and such!!
Going running in a bit, but 21 miles it is not mr ultra!
"With every deed you are sowing a seed, though the harvest you may not see." Ella Wilcox
Look up.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
PS -
Here's a crazy question. Have any of you come to realize that something you always thought was drink-related really isn't? I occasionally wake with one eye very dry- it feels like I slept with it open against a pillow. I always thought it was because I was drunk , but I still get it just as often as I ever did. It happened again last night, and as I was putting eye drops in this morning, it popped into my head that it obviously has nothing to do with drinking.
Can you relate to that?
Bug hugs!
Here's a crazy question. Have any of you come to realize that something you always thought was drink-related really isn't? I occasionally wake with one eye very dry- it feels like I slept with it open against a pillow. I always thought it was because I was drunk , but I still get it just as often as I ever did. It happened again last night, and as I was putting eye drops in this morning, it popped into my head that it obviously has nothing to do with drinking.
Can you relate to that?
Bug hugs!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Scooter I'm strictly a trail runner. Less worry about pace and more varied terrain allows me to enjoy it more.
I admire those who run on the road- especially the Boston Marathoners. One has to qualify to run that race. I doubt my time would allow me to run it anyway!
Just back from an 8 mile organized training run for my October race. I enjoyed seeing some of the course and being around like minded people. The women I ran with is going to run another 18 today!
I admire those who run on the road- especially the Boston Marathoners. One has to qualify to run that race. I doubt my time would allow me to run it anyway!
Just back from an 8 mile organized training run for my October race. I enjoyed seeing some of the course and being around like minded people. The women I ran with is going to run another 18 today!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi all, well I made it through the day at the races unscathed if a little bit poorer! Oh well I stayed sober despite being surrounded by drinking- it didn't bother me to be honest I was more into the betting which I went slightly overboard with but it was a one off and I enjoyed the day, it stayed dry AND the sun even came out for short periods!!!
My Bro-In-Law won a lot so I think I wanted a piece of the action and went slightly over budget! On a serious note I do realise that being a recovering alcoholic I am weary of getting addicted to other things so I won't make a habit of gambling.
Went to a meeting last night, again this morning and hitting one tonight with a friend so am staying alert to it all. Got asked to do a reading in the morning one and I was nervous, especially as there were a large number of people there, but I grabbed the nettle and after a shaky start I got through it and even enjoyed it by the end!
Have through sobriety got used to public speaking in AA through shares and readings and am now ok at it. I NEVER thought I'd be capable of this as its been a phobia of mine since schooldays, when I was a 14/15 yr old boy and my voice was breaking, spots were appearing and my hormones raging I remember getting asked to stand up and read in an English lesson, my heart was pounding, sweat was pouring off me and my heart felt like it was going to come through my chest, my breathing was so fast and my voice so shaky it sounded as if I were going to burst into tears and my classmates started laughing- which made it worse, I stopped and sat down but the teacher forced me to continue, it was the most debilitating moment of my life- that wkend I tried drinking with friends and the confidence I thought it gave me was what I thought was the answer to my prayers- and a thought came to me- if it gives me this confidence at the weekend what's stopping me 'using' alcohol to overcome my nerves in reading out in English lessons ? ....
So sadly from that moment on I drank a can of beer before every lesson that might entail reading out aloud, the saddest part is it worked and so started my dependency on alcohol, for dates with girls, for meeting new people, for being funny, for sitting exams, for fighting bullies, and for escaping my FEAR. For the rest of my life I've avoided situations that caused me fear or that same feeling I felt in that English lesson 20yrs ago by drinking alcohol, it breaks my heart that only now,at 34yrs of age , am I learning to face my fears.............
Scooterboo- interesting topic, I do still get occasional headaches which I'd always presume were hangovers when I drank (most probably were!).
Love and best wishes to everyone.
My Bro-In-Law won a lot so I think I wanted a piece of the action and went slightly over budget! On a serious note I do realise that being a recovering alcoholic I am weary of getting addicted to other things so I won't make a habit of gambling.
Went to a meeting last night, again this morning and hitting one tonight with a friend so am staying alert to it all. Got asked to do a reading in the morning one and I was nervous, especially as there were a large number of people there, but I grabbed the nettle and after a shaky start I got through it and even enjoyed it by the end!
Have through sobriety got used to public speaking in AA through shares and readings and am now ok at it. I NEVER thought I'd be capable of this as its been a phobia of mine since schooldays, when I was a 14/15 yr old boy and my voice was breaking, spots were appearing and my hormones raging I remember getting asked to stand up and read in an English lesson, my heart was pounding, sweat was pouring off me and my heart felt like it was going to come through my chest, my breathing was so fast and my voice so shaky it sounded as if I were going to burst into tears and my classmates started laughing- which made it worse, I stopped and sat down but the teacher forced me to continue, it was the most debilitating moment of my life- that wkend I tried drinking with friends and the confidence I thought it gave me was what I thought was the answer to my prayers- and a thought came to me- if it gives me this confidence at the weekend what's stopping me 'using' alcohol to overcome my nerves in reading out in English lessons ? ....
So sadly from that moment on I drank a can of beer before every lesson that might entail reading out aloud, the saddest part is it worked and so started my dependency on alcohol, for dates with girls, for meeting new people, for being funny, for sitting exams, for fighting bullies, and for escaping my FEAR. For the rest of my life I've avoided situations that caused me fear or that same feeling I felt in that English lesson 20yrs ago by drinking alcohol, it breaks my heart that only now,at 34yrs of age , am I learning to face my fears.............
Scooterboo- interesting topic, I do still get occasional headaches which I'd always presume were hangovers when I drank (most probably were!).
Love and best wishes to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
Today is day 29...feeling really good
I think going back on the antidepressant was the right thing to do. I was stressing about a vacation my husband and I had planned for mid September. We were planning on an 8 day trip to Fort Myers to a really nice resort. I was stressing bc I thought the beach, sun, etc would be triggers for me. Historically drinking has been prominent in a vacation like that. Instead we are taking a shorter trip to the mountains. It's a closer drive. I am looking into activities to offset the time in the casino like horse back riding, etc. I feel better about it. Also it didn't make much sense to have a beach vacation now since we live in a warm climate and have a nice community pool we've spent a lot of time at over the summer.
My granddaughter left yesterday...miss her. I am enjoying the peace today.
I think going back on the antidepressant was the right thing to do. I was stressing about a vacation my husband and I had planned for mid September. We were planning on an 8 day trip to Fort Myers to a really nice resort. I was stressing bc I thought the beach, sun, etc would be triggers for me. Historically drinking has been prominent in a vacation like that. Instead we are taking a shorter trip to the mountains. It's a closer drive. I am looking into activities to offset the time in the casino like horse back riding, etc. I feel better about it. Also it didn't make much sense to have a beach vacation now since we live in a warm climate and have a nice community pool we've spent a lot of time at over the summer. My granddaughter left yesterday...miss her. I am enjoying the peace today.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
1step, great job at the races bro!! I knew you would nail it dude! Your post resonated with me too. I used king beer to get me through so many things, still adjusting to life without it, but like you I am wishing I learned years ago that I didn't need it at all. But at least we know now. You got this man, keep pumpin those sober muscles.
Rah, great job and the mountains make a great choice. Ironically, I just chose the same thing! Heading out in a week or so. Hiking in the fresh air, what is better?
Bedfordshire baby!
Much love gang.
Rah, great job and the mountains make a great choice. Ironically, I just chose the same thing! Heading out in a week or so. Hiking in the fresh air, what is better?
Bedfordshire baby!
Much love gang.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Just checking in - present and sober!
Feel like I'm swimming a little bit-I'm trying to stay on top of everything and it's running away on me. It's all ok-in fact, when I feel this way I'm usually making progress but haven't seen where and how yet. Looking forward to that!
Some great posts, guys!Great job on speaking 1step!
Scooter-yes, I have a number of thinks that I thought were related to drinking, but where not. Heartburn after eating horribly and waking up with sinus headaches are two that I was sure were related to drinking.
Going to bed for a great Monday morning! Love to you all!
Feel like I'm swimming a little bit-I'm trying to stay on top of everything and it's running away on me. It's all ok-in fact, when I feel this way I'm usually making progress but haven't seen where and how yet. Looking forward to that!
Some great posts, guys!Great job on speaking 1step!
Scooter-yes, I have a number of thinks that I thought were related to drinking, but where not. Heartburn after eating horribly and waking up with sinus headaches are two that I was sure were related to drinking.
Going to bed for a great Monday morning! Love to you all!
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