thedryoutdrsmn

that absolutely must feel great to get over the many mixed feelings and trepidation I'm sure you had

thedryoutdrsmn

congrats determined, never doubted ya for a second, you seemed so aware of your inner thoughts and feelings, and knew how to deal with them, great job man, and sweet quotes!!!

rah555

Day 25!! Still doing well with not drinking. Pink, thanks for sharing how things are for you since you stopped drinking. The transition can be challenging. For me and my husband lack of socialization has increased not only bc we first cut back and now have stopped going out drinking where we would talk with people but because we moved and haven't filled out time with non drinking related things. I have to admit I now enjoy home and appreciate time alone. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to offer to friends or don't have the energy or motivation to make new friends. I feel like just taking care of myself.

determined99

Dry, thank you brotha!

Pink, your post resonated with me. I too feel more comfortable with me and feel at peace with life in general. Yet, I too struggle with the friends having fun without me. But when I really think about it, I was actually best friends with alcohol. It made any circumstance fun and somehow rebellious in an odd oxymoronic way in retrospect, as it is actually conformity.

Alcohol seemed to slow my mind to contemplative speed, but I would often go down deep philosophical paths and find myself feeling alone in a room of people anyhow. I realize I have always been comfortable in front of a crowd, or with one person. Never working a room with multiple conversations about surface level topics. Therefore, alcohol worked initially. Then it turned on me and exacerbated the feeling of being different.

What I realize is that I need only one, at the most two, truly intelligent and deep friends. These, however, are true unicorns. Alcohol was the deep friend, but it betrayed my trust. So now, I search for unicorns and I know they are out there. I don't want a bar full of fake friends. I can't go back to that because I know too much now, both about alcohol and about me.

It does feel like the music stopped sometimes though and that's when I have to push through and find my inner strength. For example, I had a work dinner tonight and walked by many crowded pubs on the way home. I felt a bittersweet lonely feeling. Like I could turn backwards and see my old self on a bar stool, drunk and laughing on cue. I realized a familiar feeling. Like when you break up with someone and then realize it is really over. Not just another fight, but truly over. I thought this sobriety thing isn't just a test to see how long I can quit, it is over. For good. Now what?

I got in my car and felt a true love for life and an appreciation for breaking free. I felt connected to another level of love and hope and energy, realizing how fragile life is and how precious a friend or family member truly is. Not only should we stay sober one day at a time, we should live and enjoy life one day at a time. And keep on the lookout for unicorns...

Thanks for reading my ramble. I love you guys.

sthlondonab

Hey all

Pink, I hugely identify with what you have written. I massively struggled with the friends thing but I don't really now. Eventually it will come good. Like you I also focus on time with my partner and just being there in the moment and that beats any nights out hands down!

I think Determined has something around the alcohol was the true 'friend' Most of the time I would go out with friends or work and they would leave at sensible times and I would hang out with anyone nearby who would chat to me, as long as alcohol was involved. I can't imagine that now.

It sounds like you have a great core of trusted friends Pink so enjoy time with them and new things like your health group will be really great for meeting new people :-)

sthlondonab

Away off to work! I love a Sober Thursday.

Hope everyone is doing well. Tonight I have networking drinks but that's an easy one as you move around so much that no one gives a hoot whether you have a glass in hand or not. Although I am confident in my toolkit, never cocky or take things for granted. I plan to always have an escape route at these things for the rest of time.

Have a wonderful day all !

Dee74

congratulations Determined

good to hear from you too Rah - well done on your milestone too!

pinklinzangel

Thanks Rah, you're doing fab!

London and determined. Great posts, so very accurate!! Life is better, and the right people are in it it now!!

Quick post as at work, just checking in! Xxx

determined99

Woo hooo! weekend in sight!

London, hanging by yourself and chatting up anyone that is there late into the night. Man I remember that. I can't imagine that either now... Such strange behavior we had, but it just shows how alcohol puts us in a strange place. Takes some distance to realize how much it drove the ship even when we thought we were.

Pink, keep going down the new path with your health club and other activities. We can't go back, and the real friends will eventually come back around. The party life is not sustainable.

Rah, proud of you girl! You got some escape velocity momentum! Keep moving and start thinking of a really cool plan for the weekend. Keep your guard up! You got this.

Give a check in today kids! Pep rally Thursday!

"As an irrigator guides water to his fields, as an archer aims an arrow, as a carpenter carves wood, the wise shape their lives." Buddha.

Thanks by the way Dee!

In it to win it.

ScooterBoo

Good morning,

I think I agree with everyone's great insight. I have two friends that are most likely alcoholics - both women I knew professionally, both extremely successful. I hardly see one at all, and the other I see once every two months or so. They were definitely my drinking buddies. The first, who is often in the news in her position, and I would go out 3-4-5 times a week when I lived in Boston - many times our favorite bartender would say "Here, your last one is on me," to let us know that he was not going to serve us any more. Sometimes we would go out to dinner, then another place to drink. Luckily, we took taxis or walked. I have seen her three times in the past year, and it was always a quick dinner.

Last Fall and winter it seemed I was invited to wine tastings almost weekly, which I made excuses for. Then I stayed home with ice cream and chocolate and had a pitty party.

My closest friends definitely were white zinfindel and Miller Lite beer. They took up so much of my time, that it seemed I had nothing to do when I started sobriety, which is why I started organizing my house, getting rid of things I never used, etc. At some point I became very comfortable with myself and realized I enjoyed being home. I now enjoy doing things alone. I have gone to the movies alone for the first time in my life, and I have gone out to eat at upscale restaurants by myself.

My relationship with my friend Bob, on the other hand, has definitely changed. His drinking may have increased, or I just might be noticing it more. I have noticed that when he has too much he answers most questions with "you know....." and sometimes that is it. He never mentions anything about me not drinking - I think he loves the fact that he can depend on me to drive, sail his boat into port, etc. when he has had too much. Just yesterday he told me that he bought tickets to a fundraiser in Newport that we went to last September. I believe it was my first drink-free big social event, and I ended up driving his car home. In the past I would have let him drive drunk, because I was in the same condition.

What a difference a year makes. I love myself and my life at this point, and I have you dear people to thank, thank, thank for that.

Let's keep on keeping on.

Ultramarathoner

Love the reflections Team!

determined99

Awesome post scooter.

pinklinzangel

I'm dreaming a lot, getting flash backs of this time last year. It's horrid, and I'm hoping it will end soon! Im so tired. Have lit some candles, have enya playing, and have had camomile tea, hoping to relax and have sound sleep tonight.

Next stage of consultation is tomorrow. The papers will be released for the official new posts available, and I have to make 3 preference choices, so I need to feel fresh, and think well!

ready for Saturday already, I'm going to spend the day with my mum doing girly things, and then Sunday will be with my man doing silly things. Love sober weekends, they are twice as long as drunk Ones!

Hope everyone is ok, I'm off for an early night. Love to all xxxx

Ultramarathoner

Try to go to sleep affirming "powerful and positive" dreams Pink.

rah555

Day 26!! Felt different today...maybe my new medication is working. My granddaughter goes home on Saturday. I will miss her but I am looking forward to quiet time. My husband and I bought season tickets to the Hornets. It's a non alcohol related hobby, well, at least that is what we make it. I feel good about getting the tickets. It will get us out of the house. The games are fun. Calling it a night. Sleep tight friends

sthlondonab

Hey all

What fantastic posts yesterday. Oh yes determined! I have posted here before about chatting up every man, woman or dog in the bar, anything to stay out and get more alcohol. Either that or head home with my own stash and try to continue my own party by texting people or Facebook. Yuk. I like my early bedtimes now!

Rah - those season tickets sound great! Sure you will have a lot of fun.

I am having my morning coffee, up super early again. Last nights drinks were fine. I feel comfortable networking nowadays and get a lot from it. And I don't have to worry about making a t*t of myself!

Have a wonderful Friday all. Soon it's the weekend, yey!

Pink - I hope you slept well :-) a

determined99

Friday!! Ahh yesss!!

Good morning gang! Hope everyone is bright eyed and bushy tailed today!

Going in to do a somewhat large presentation, so checking my attitude and making sure I am positive and hoppin on the good foot!

"If you think you have 100 years to mess around, your wrong. Your time is now. Your place is here. It's time to get it moving" Henry Rollins

pinklinzangel

It's Friday night and I'm baking macaroons, listening to music, dancing around and drinking shloer, all by myself, and I'm happy. That's pretty great isn't it!
Tell me what you all have planned for the weekend?
I slept better last night, no dreams, better frame of mind. Thanks team a!

1stepup

Wow, some great thought provoking posts here team. day 61 nearly done and dusted, Im off for a day at the races tomorrow with my Sister, Bro-in-law and Grandmother, it also marks my 2month sobriety day, looking forward to it despite the weather forecast!!! I'm pretty controlled and cautious with my money when sober so am not worried about the risk of addiction transfer but I do know that there will be booze about and it will be my first real test on that front but I feel ok and have an AA meeting planned for the evening and I want to have a good day out and like determined has said 'enjoy and live life one day at a time'.

Good luck with that presentation by the way determined- Im sure you'll do fine.

Have a great weekend friends.

determined99

1step, great freakin job dude!!! I can totally tell by your tone that you are feeling good and in a good place, well done man. Having a meeting planned for after is a fab idea. You will likely be tempted at first, but let it pass and read some posts here. Then give it a few hours and watch the others that have been drinking, you will be glad you let it pass. Missing nothing, gaining everything bro.

Pink, love it! I just put on some old school billy idol. Dancing with myself blasting on the hi fi in your honor! Crazy beats drunk every time! You are dealing with the work stuff like a champion my friend!

Presentation went great! I was totally relaxed and myself, had them laughing and got some great compliments afterward, folks actually hung around to talk to me after it was over. Way cool and absolutely anxiety free.

Song still playing pink, oh oh oh oh! If I had a chance I'd ask the world to dance! Oh oh oh oh!!