KaleGrrl

We've had lots of precipitation and lightning for some days. No beach for me either.
Happy for you in being able to see your son more! My son's also in another state (grown) and I only get to see him twice a year, between his work schedule and mine.
Wishing you a good day as well!

Cissy

Not sure that was very cool to share what AllieKat said in a private message, Casey. I get why you wanted to tell the group but if she wanted it to be known far and wide, she'd have made that announcement herself. She messaged me too, a few days ago I think.

What each of us does is extremely personal and is an individual choice. I have been moderating too which is why I don't post a ton anymore. I'm doing really well, too. I'm learning to listen to my inner voice and pull back when it feels like I need to take a break.

It's a journey and we're each on it alone. Whether we go to group meetings or join a site like this, we are very much in this alone. So when we choose to drink or not drink, to abstain 100% or to moderate, we're each working it out. We're learning and that's what it's all about. Life is one huge experiment and we are the guinea pigs.

I almost regret writing all this cause I'm not upset and I had no intentions of "coming out" myself but there it is. I just felt it was important enough to make a point and at least state that if someone shares something with us in confidence, it should stay confidential.

CaseyW

Like I said, Cissy, I had mixed feelings on it but my end decision was that this thread in particular is a group dedicated to getting and staying sober, and when I saw multiple messages mentioning/asking about her, that it was something the group should know. It was not a deep, dark secret or gossip in my opinion--we're all alcoholics and our natural inclination is to drink. We all know this about one another.

I personally am trying to stay sober through this group and I felt like I was lying via omission to others here when I saw posts the last couple of days mentioning her and I didn't say anything.

I stand by my decision and think it was best for my personal dedication to honesty and for the group's dedication to each other. I'm sorry you disagree.

I wish her and you the best in your decisions to try moderation. I just know it's never worked long-term (or really even short-term) for me.

Ginamarie323

I agree with both of you, Cissy and Casey. Most importantly, I really appreciate the honesty in this thread. Cissy, I hope you continue to post.

CaseyW

nmd -- love the first egg picture! I just made arrangements with a family friend to start getting farm fresh eggs every couple of weeks from him. Wishing you the best on this day one. We're here for you.

sagittarius -- that's awesome news about your son! Very happy for you.

Ginamarie323

My good friend has chickens, and the eggs are fantastic! So much better than store bought.

It is so ghastly humid today. I don't know how you folks deal with this on a regular basis!

KaleGrrl

Cissy (and Allie), it's OK, don't worry about it. We are basically all anonymous anyway. If Allie was upset for Casey posting that, she could let him know and he could post that, too.
This site is for people who have a problem with drinking and want help or just an ear or to learn more.
If someone wants to and doesn't have a problem with drinking moderately, then good for them and we wish them the best. No judgment. But if it turns out that s/he was wrong about that and needs support again, then we're here to welcome you again and give you support again. We don't want you to get hurt is all.
So many of us have tried and failed so many times, only to have found their aha moment and quit forever. We get that. Trying over and over. Not knowing if what we post helps anyone or not, including ourselves. And we don't wish anyone anything but the best in their life.

KaleGrrl

Ginamarie, I just read the Lady thread. You are an angel! There's a risk in offering a stranger that kind of face to face help, so I really hoped everything would go OK. Hope Lady gets better.
Kudos to you!!

Ginamarie323

Thanks, Kale. I'm just glad I had the Uber man with me. He knew the whole story and he predicted she would hide...LOL! I really hope she's telling the truth and is indeed in the hospital.

KaleGrrl

I know, I wondered that as well. Dear! It's so deadly serious. Hope she's getting the help she needs (now and beyond)!

KaleGrrl

Moderation never worked for me.
I can never approach drinking like a normal drinker. Moderation to those of us who have struggled to be sober is different than what it is naturally to a normal drinker.
I drank to get to a certain high, otherwise it wasn't worth it.
I could even be "moderate" for a little while, but didn't really enjoy it, and then would binge at some point.
Eventually I drank more because tolerance increased, and in the last year or so, my drinking was causing definite problems and I knew my luck was going to run out, health-wise and people finding out.
I don't overdrink coffee. I can tell when I've had enough (1 or 2 cups in the morning) and I don't give it another thought. I could quit without any trouble if I thought I should.
I don't overeat (except when drinking, thus the weight gain). I eat until I'm full and then stop. I've always been that way.
That's a normal thing, natural moderation without thinking about it.
I'll never have that when it comes to drinking.
Any thought of moderating with alcohol is just the AV.

Dee74

It's too late for me to clean it up now but just so everyone knows it's against the rules to share the content of private messages.

I understand why you did Casey, and I appreciate the thought behind it - but private messages are private for a reason - not even we moderators can read private messages intended for others.

Any time any of you guys are unclear on something, just PM me
D

Ginamarie323

I'm the same way, Kale. Even lately I've had thoughts like.....surely just one won't hurt. But then before you know it one turns into a bottle of wine a day, and shortly thereafter that turns into three bottles a day. Ridiculous. I'm actually petrified to even try a sip now, but I guess that's a good thing for now.

Dharma33

Hey, Mayvens-

Just getting caught up on posts. I hope everyone is well tonight.

I'm away with my kids visiting my parents as well as other relatives, old neighbors. etc. Mr. Dharma had to stay back for work and we miss him but absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say.

Had an interesting evening last night after we arrived. There was a hometown summer festival deal (i.e. music, beer tent and kids activities - heavy on the beer tent).

I was oddly uncomfortable for a bit. Like I wish I could leave but we only took one vehicle kind of uncomfortable (lesson learned there). I had a fleeting moment of annoyance that I couldn't have a watered-down, headache-inducing cheap warm beer. After saying to myself something along the lines of, 'now that would be the most ridiculous waste of over 2 months of hard work I have ever heard of', I realized that I was bored, and thirsty. Seriously the only other options to drink were lemonade and sno-cones. So, I got me and the kiddos each a blue raspberry sno-cone and made the best of things. A lot of my parents' friends who hadn't seen me in 40 yrs or met my kids didn't seem so bad after I had a little sugar in me!

It ended up being a nice chance to catch up. The moral of the story is- alcohol is everywhere; always be prepared!!!!

CaseyW

My apologies to AllieK and anyone else I offended. Was not my intent to break the rules or hurt anyone. I turned off private messages so it won't happen again. Wishing everyone the best tonight...

Dharma33

I had a fleeting moment of annoyance that I couldn't have a watered-down, headache-inducing cheap warm beer. After saying to myself something along the lines of, 'now that would be the most ridiculous waste of over 2 months of hard work I have ever heard of',

After re-reading this, it would seem that perhaps I left the door open to "I wouldn't throw away my sobriety for a glass of warm beer, but maybe something more like my DOC, a glass of red wine". So I had to think about it for a second and make sure I was clear with myself. So here it is: I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind.

Dee74

D

Dharma33

Casey, it seems you had good intentions behind it. What's done is done, and now you know....

site1Q84

Glad it went alright, Dharma! I love snocones. Especially blue ones. I feel like, if you're in a good place, those challenges are a good thing. We can't hide forever and we all know there is no way to avoid alcohol, so going out and facing it will hopefully only make you stronger.

I think as far as moderating goes, I could manage it to a point. The problem is I would think "I won't drink for the next few days" and even up having a few that same night. Normal people don't have that problem. Heck, normal people don't have to plan for a few days of not drinking! Haha
Even when I did manage to moderate I was always thinking about my next chance to drink, and that's no way to live. Now it barely crosses my mind! What a nice change.

Love the farm fresh eggs! I get those from a few friends as well. So delicious!

PixieD

Good morning 64 days to me. Happy i finally found the May thread to join in on. Very new to SR, learning the site. Been feeling a little down since my 60 days. I think i worked myself up in my head to that date & when it finally arrived i realized it wasnt such a big deal...well to others. I guess i was looking for a celebration in my honour..balloons falling from the sky, a huge chocolate cake anyways, it seems i've snapped out of it. I will not big up a sober number in my head like that again. I truly now understand the "take one day at a time" because each day is a milestone. I've stopped counting ahead. Need to be patient with this journey & patience is not for me all in all i feel great this monday morning. Back to my "new normal"