Class of May 2015 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,343
Odisnow, I can relate to you... I'm only 5'1" and the pounds really show fast. Good for you for treating yourself today. That sounds great. As for the bon fire and cookout tonight, just stay close to SR and post often if you need to. My first weekend of sobriety was a trip with drinkers all around me and several trips to local bars... wasn't fun but I managed with my diet coke w/lime and my hubby knew not to even ask me about having a beer... You can do this! 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Odisnow, post as often as you need to tonight! We're all here for you. Think of it as working your sober muscles, like Dee says. It will get easier with practice, and think how good you'll feel about yourself after you get past this hurdle sober!
Allie, I almost had a panic attack when I went to my first meeting. It was just being selfish, like most drunks are. In reality no one cares if you're there, even people you know. That's not a place where anyone gets judged. If you see someone you know I would think that's a good thing! Having acquaintances in AA is the first step to getting some new, sober friends. I still have friends that drink, but being around others going through the same thing is such a nice feeling. They can understand everything you're going through. What's the worst that could really happen? The relief I get after I went to that meeting is like nothing I've ever experienced. I had SR, but knowing face to face I wasn't alone and to see all these strangers who cared so much about me and who were willing to help me in anyway possible without even knowing me... It made a huge difference for me. I was relapsing once a week before I decided I obviously want doing Enough and went to AA and it seems to be working. Haven't had a drink since that first meeting!
Allie, I almost had a panic attack when I went to my first meeting. It was just being selfish, like most drunks are. In reality no one cares if you're there, even people you know. That's not a place where anyone gets judged. If you see someone you know I would think that's a good thing! Having acquaintances in AA is the first step to getting some new, sober friends. I still have friends that drink, but being around others going through the same thing is such a nice feeling. They can understand everything you're going through. What's the worst that could really happen? The relief I get after I went to that meeting is like nothing I've ever experienced. I had SR, but knowing face to face I wasn't alone and to see all these strangers who cared so much about me and who were willing to help me in anyway possible without even knowing me... It made a huge difference for me. I was relapsing once a week before I decided I obviously want doing Enough and went to AA and it seems to be working. Haven't had a drink since that first meeting!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 934
Goodmorning to everyone. Hope its hot & sunny where ever you may be! 
Alliekat, I to have never been to AA. I've been asked by 2 friends here to join them & i wont go. I live on a small island where basically everyone knows everyone. It's supposed to be annonymous however i know the majority of the people in it. I worked for a liquor distributor here for a few years & lets just say the majority of my business contacts are in AA. I really dont think my attending AA will help my stress thinking that the whole island knows i'm there. That good'ol stigma is what holds people back i guess. On the flip side, like Dee mentioned..i had no problem drinking like a fool in the past & letting everyone see me as such a fool & talk about those events. I think AA is something you'll figure out on your own. I am very spiritual so possibly i would enjoy it if i were in a large country. About your husband, my bf drinks. I dont let it bother me. He doesnt push it in my face. He is very conscious about having them infront of me. He himself has also cut down & wants to even more. So my positive change has made an impact on him. I didnt need him to make this change for myself. I mean he has been my best supporter/cheerleader in this journey so far but at the end of the day i'm doing it for myself. If you feel like you are not getting enough support , come on SR & start a thread & you'd be amazed at the positive feedback you will receive here. Hope you're feeling a little less confused this morning cause i know that confused state really messes with you!
Alliekat, I to have never been to AA. I've been asked by 2 friends here to join them & i wont go. I live on a small island where basically everyone knows everyone. It's supposed to be annonymous however i know the majority of the people in it. I worked for a liquor distributor here for a few years & lets just say the majority of my business contacts are in AA. I really dont think my attending AA will help my stress thinking that the whole island knows i'm there. That good'ol stigma is what holds people back i guess. On the flip side, like Dee mentioned..i had no problem drinking like a fool in the past & letting everyone see me as such a fool & talk about those events. I think AA is something you'll figure out on your own. I am very spiritual so possibly i would enjoy it if i were in a large country. About your husband, my bf drinks. I dont let it bother me. He doesnt push it in my face. He is very conscious about having them infront of me. He himself has also cut down & wants to even more. So my positive change has made an impact on him. I didnt need him to make this change for myself. I mean he has been my best supporter/cheerleader in this journey so far but at the end of the day i'm doing it for myself. If you feel like you are not getting enough support , come on SR & start a thread & you'd be amazed at the positive feedback you will receive here. Hope you're feeling a little less confused this morning cause i know that confused state really messes with you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
I get that about AA where you live Pixie.
I think for me I needed to go and face it, because not wanting certain people to know I have a problem, or worrying about someone seeing me in AA I think was really just my AV trying to find another way out! I need to be really honest in this recovery or I just don't think it will work for me. Facing those fears of people finding out I have a problem really opened me up to focusing on other things and getting help from people with more experience than I have.
I think for me I needed to go and face it, because not wanting certain people to know I have a problem, or worrying about someone seeing me in AA I think was really just my AV trying to find another way out! I need to be really honest in this recovery or I just don't think it will work for me. Facing those fears of people finding out I have a problem really opened me up to focusing on other things and getting help from people with more experience than I have.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northeast Florida
Posts: 334
Hi Allie. I went to a women's only AA meeting and it was GREAT! Outside the door there are "greeters" who make you feel more comfortable. I didn't share anything the first few times, I just sat and listened and really learned to respect and love these women. I sat next to this lovely woman who, after going to the meeting 4 times, I have asked to be my sponsor. I didn't even know what a sponsor did, but I can tell you that she is really helping me along. She gives me reading and writing assignments, and they are actually fun.
I picked up a book of meetings where I was there. [C] means the meeting is "closed" which means it's only for alcoholics who want to be sober. An "open" meeting is for anyone to attend - my boyfriend went with me to one (a co-ed meeting) because I wanted him to see what it was like. All meetings are different, so don't judge the program based on your first meeting. Try to attend a few. You'll find they aren't scary at all. At my women's meetings there are lots of hugs and so much support. There isn't a catty one in the bunch. All are there to support each other through this journey, and you will find that AA members are super honest with their horror stories. I have shared things in AA that my best friend doesn't even know about me!
Anyway, I hope that helps. AA was nothing like I thought it was going to be.
I picked up a book of meetings where I was there. [C] means the meeting is "closed" which means it's only for alcoholics who want to be sober. An "open" meeting is for anyone to attend - my boyfriend went with me to one (a co-ed meeting) because I wanted him to see what it was like. All meetings are different, so don't judge the program based on your first meeting. Try to attend a few. You'll find they aren't scary at all. At my women's meetings there are lots of hugs and so much support. There isn't a catty one in the bunch. All are there to support each other through this journey, and you will find that AA members are super honest with their horror stories. I have shared things in AA that my best friend doesn't even know about me!
Anyway, I hope that helps. AA was nothing like I thought it was going to be.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,439
Hi Allie - I responded in more detail in PM, but my GF drinks too, every day. It takes time for a relationship to grow/heal, and I found in my case it did, in ways I thought might not be possible. It took that sober time for me to build up trust break down walls to communication, and get my head on straight.
Then last Thanksgiving I relapsed. :-( One glass of wine. Then a few more heading into Christmas, then I was back into full tilt drinking mode by new years, frantically trying to cut back to a safe drinking level that I could never achieve. And here I am, not completely starting over, but starting over none-the-less. On my day 3.
Then last Thanksgiving I relapsed. :-( One glass of wine. Then a few more heading into Christmas, then I was back into full tilt drinking mode by new years, frantically trying to cut back to a safe drinking level that I could never achieve. And here I am, not completely starting over, but starting over none-the-less. On my day 3.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 216
Good morning guys. And so glad to see you back, Allie I've never been to AA either, but I did talk to their hotline once when I was drinking and it was very helpful. I was scared to go by myself too, so they even offered to have someone pick me up and go with me. Unfortunately I never went, and relapsed. This time I've been doing it on my own and with SR, but often think of going, if for no other reason than to have the face to face contact with other people going through the same.
Hope everyone has a great day. I've got a rush work deadline to do, but will be checking in. Stay strong
I've never been to AA either, but I did talk to their hotline once when I was drinking and it was very helpful. I was scared to go by myself too, so they even offered to have someone pick me up and go with me. Unfortunately I never went, and relapsed. This time I've been doing it on my own and with SR, but often think of going, if for no other reason than to have the face to face contact with other people going through the same. Hope everyone has a great day. I've got a rush work deadline to do, but will be checking in. Stay strong
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,343
Thursday, I've heard great things about women's only AA meetings. There's one close by my office that I've really been thinking of... I may just have to check it out.
Pixie, I understand, too, about attending AA meetings in a very small community. I used to live in a small town where everyone knew everyone's business... absolutely hated it. I swear I was the talk of the town most of the time.
Site, I admire you for facing your fears and going forward regardless of what anyone thought. That's still a work-in-progress for me.
I better get back to work before the boss comes in!! Hope everyone has a great day!
Pixie, I understand, too, about attending AA meetings in a very small community. I used to live in a small town where everyone knew everyone's business... absolutely hated it. I swear I was the talk of the town most of the time.
Site, I admire you for facing your fears and going forward regardless of what anyone thought. That's still a work-in-progress for me.
I better get back to work before the boss comes in!! Hope everyone has a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 896
Originally Posted by CaseyW 
Starting day 57 here in sunny West Texas. Sunburn is still there but is better. It didn't give me any trouble while I slept. And, boy, did I sleep. I definitely got my nine plus hours last night, emphasis on the plus. Guess I needed it.
Back to work this evening. It'll probably be slow this weekend as people head out of this hot, dry town for a holiday somewhere with some water. But maybe I'll be surprised and will make hundreds and hundreds of dollars a night.
nmd -- glad you're here today. Wish you'd come here yesterday instead of drinking that beer. Will your girlfriend support you if you do decide to quit permanently? I don't remember you mentioning her before though you probably have.
Cissy -- hope your digestive issues are better today. I'm blessed with a pretty good metabolism (though not quite as good as it was at age twenty, of course) so wasn't real overweight because of my drinking/poor eating. But though I haven't weighed myself this time as I don't own a scale, I most definitely have lost weight. I'm guessing somewhere between 10-12 pounds in the last 57 days. The only place I'm really noticing the difference is in my face. My jaw line is MUCH better defined right now. My skin and eyes also look much better. I was looking in the mirror a couple of days ago and realized that I was looking pretty darn good.
So it looks like yesterday site1Q84, Cissy, myself, Copper, 4thekidz, and nmd were the only Mayflowers to check in here. I also talked to a couple of other class members via private message.
For old time's sake, here's that list of May class members I was keeping and posting during May. It's not 100% complete because I stopped compiling it when I went on vacation on May 27 or 28. But I would love to hear from anyone who is on this list who hasn't checked in lately. We're here for you whether you're on day one or day 64!
Back to work this evening. It'll probably be slow this weekend as people head out of this hot, dry town for a holiday somewhere with some water. But maybe I'll be surprised and will make hundreds and hundreds of dollars a night.
nmd -- glad you're here today. Wish you'd come here yesterday instead of drinking that beer. Will your girlfriend support you if you do decide to quit permanently? I don't remember you mentioning her before though you probably have.
Cissy -- hope your digestive issues are better today. I'm blessed with a pretty good metabolism (though not quite as good as it was at age twenty, of course) so wasn't real overweight because of my drinking/poor eating. But though I haven't weighed myself this time as I don't own a scale, I most definitely have lost weight. I'm guessing somewhere between 10-12 pounds in the last 57 days. The only place I'm really noticing the difference is in my face. My jaw line is MUCH better defined right now. My skin and eyes also look much better. I was looking in the mirror a couple of days ago and realized that I was looking pretty darn good.
So it looks like yesterday site1Q84, Cissy, myself, Copper, 4thekidz, and nmd were the only Mayflowers to check in here. I also talked to a couple of other class members via private message.
For old time's sake, here's that list of May class members I was keeping and posting during May. It's not 100% complete because I stopped compiling it when I went on vacation on May 27 or 28. But I would love to hear from anyone who is on this list who hasn't checked in lately. We're here for you whether you're on day one or day 64!
0520Hamilton
4thekidz
60andbeyond
aajajen
AGAGONNHOJ
AllieKat
amandamarie
amitranjan04
anattaboy
ANewDayNYC
AutumnWillow
bdj
Betha
boombox
Carrie1974
CaseyW
Cbf123
chanty
ChickChick
Cissy
ClearLight
Copper442
Cursed00
DariaM
Delfin
Delilah1
Dharma33
donenow
donone
Eliasson
FacingFuture
FarToGo
Free2B84
Freedom1982
Ginamarie323
Hope2014
HOPELESSAMY
hugsandcupcakes
Ice
Jack16
JaneLane
Jartsober
jazzfish
JD4010
Jimbob01
Jimuk
JJ9
JL2014
julesonya
Justbreathe1980
KaleGrrl
kgr
knb02
Lady3
laska23
lesly
LiberatedStorm
Littlebear
Lscotty1
lunar
Marcellina
Maykay
Michtizz
neednewpath
nmd
Odisnow
Plenny
PrincessP
QBVII
QuitForSon
Rainbug
realE
Rivelino
RussC
sagittarius714
SandyO
SansaS
ScarletWitch
site1Q84
Soberella66
Sparkledust
StAnthonysFire
stime
strongandsober
Summerrain
tahrga
Talz
TENtx
Timeforchange18
TroyW
Tryingtoheal87
Vainstraw
Vinomama
VirginiaWolfe
Willow3
4thekidz
60andbeyond
aajajen
AGAGONNHOJ
AllieKat
amandamarie
amitranjan04
anattaboy
ANewDayNYC
AutumnWillow
bdj
Betha
boombox
Carrie1974
CaseyW
Cbf123
chanty
ChickChick
Cissy
ClearLight
Copper442
Cursed00
DariaM
Delfin
Delilah1
Dharma33
donenow
donone
Eliasson
FacingFuture
FarToGo
Free2B84
Freedom1982
Ginamarie323
Hope2014
HOPELESSAMY
hugsandcupcakes
Ice
Jack16
JaneLane
Jartsober
jazzfish
JD4010
Jimbob01
Jimuk
JJ9
JL2014
julesonya
Justbreathe1980
KaleGrrl
kgr
knb02
Lady3
laska23
lesly
LiberatedStorm
Littlebear
Lscotty1
lunar
Marcellina
Maykay
Michtizz
neednewpath
nmd
Odisnow
Plenny
PrincessP
QBVII
QuitForSon
Rainbug
realE
Rivelino
RussC
sagittarius714
SandyO
SansaS
ScarletWitch
site1Q84
Soberella66
Sparkledust
StAnthonysFire
stime
strongandsober
Summerrain
tahrga
Talz
TENtx
Timeforchange18
TroyW
Tryingtoheal87
Vainstraw
Vinomama
VirginiaWolfe
Willow3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Welcome back, jimuk! Glad to have you back!
Allie, hang in there. Have you ever thought about some kind of therapy to help? Perhaps an addiction specialist?
Gina, if you ever decide to go to a meeting and want some good all women's meetings recommendations let me know! I've found some awesome ones, even if I don't get to go often!
Allie, hang in there. Have you ever thought about some kind of therapy to help? Perhaps an addiction specialist?
Gina, if you ever decide to go to a meeting and want some good all women's meetings recommendations let me know! I've found some awesome ones, even if I don't get to go often!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 216
Thanks Site I just might do that. Are you in Italy now? I'm so jealous! I have a lot of relatives there. That's such a cool job, being able to travel like you do. The only place I've ever been for work was Israel. That was bizarre.
Weather is getting a tad bit less humid today, but still hideous.
I just might do that. Are you in Italy now? I'm so jealous! I have a lot of relatives there. That's such a cool job, being able to travel like you do. The only place I've ever been for work was Israel. That was bizarre. Weather is getting a tad bit less humid today, but still hideous.
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