Class of May 2015 (Part 3)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: STL
Posts: 388
Thanks for sharing your story Cissy. I know that losing your significant other is very difficult. I went through that about 5 years ago as well.
I hit a rough patch today and it wasn't something that I saw coming. I could make this into a really long story but I will try to keep it brief...My husband casually mentioned that his friends asked him to go to the bar to watch baseball and have a few beers. He wasn't asking if he could go exactly but it did start a long (anxiety filled) conversation about drinking, his and mine, and the problems that it causes. I told him that if I did drink, then it wouldn't be a problem today because the first time back never causes problems. I almost caved, I almost did it. But I thought about it and told him to go without me because I wasn't going to let my alcoholic brain run my life. I didn't want to feel the pain tomorrow for having fun today and because I couldn't emotionally handle disappointing my daughter. And I know that if I get through it once without problems it doesn't mean anything because it will escalate and escalate week after week until it is a problem again. So I said I would stay home and it was alright for him to go. It was the most grown up way that I have ever handled any situation. And do you know what he did? He stayed home with me because he didn't want me to be distressed about it! That was the most grown up way he ever handled that kind of situation! I guess we are both learning something this time around.
I have dinner plans on Wednesday with a sober AA friend so I told him that would be a good night for him to go watch baseball at the bar. Compromise is an amazing thing. It's sad that sometimes we have to go through so much to get to that point.
I learned today that I can say no when I am given the opportunity to drink. It didn't make me very happy at the moment I said no but happy or not, I knew it was the right thing to do. That was a huge breakthrough for me.
I hit a rough patch today and it wasn't something that I saw coming. I could make this into a really long story but I will try to keep it brief...My husband casually mentioned that his friends asked him to go to the bar to watch baseball and have a few beers. He wasn't asking if he could go exactly but it did start a long (anxiety filled) conversation about drinking, his and mine, and the problems that it causes. I told him that if I did drink, then it wouldn't be a problem today because the first time back never causes problems. I almost caved, I almost did it. But I thought about it and told him to go without me because I wasn't going to let my alcoholic brain run my life. I didn't want to feel the pain tomorrow for having fun today and because I couldn't emotionally handle disappointing my daughter. And I know that if I get through it once without problems it doesn't mean anything because it will escalate and escalate week after week until it is a problem again. So I said I would stay home and it was alright for him to go. It was the most grown up way that I have ever handled any situation. And do you know what he did? He stayed home with me because he didn't want me to be distressed about it! That was the most grown up way he ever handled that kind of situation! I guess we are both learning something this time around.
I have dinner plans on Wednesday with a sober AA friend so I told him that would be a good night for him to go watch baseball at the bar. Compromise is an amazing thing. It's sad that sometimes we have to go through so much to get to that point.
I learned today that I can say no when I am given the opportunity to drink. It didn't make me very happy at the moment I said no but happy or not, I knew it was the right thing to do. That was a huge breakthrough for me.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
What a major moment, Allie! You get a gold star in making wise sober decisions today. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. The progression of that story gave me the biggest smile.
Plus who'd want to go to a bar and watch the stinky old Cardinals anyways. I've never forgiven them for what they did to my Rangers in 2011.
Plus who'd want to go to a bar and watch the stinky old Cardinals anyways. I've never forgiven them for what they did to my Rangers in 2011.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: STL
Posts: 388
Originally Posted by CaseyW 
What a major moment, Allie! You get a gold star in making wise sober decisions today. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. The progression of that story gave me the biggest smile.
Plus who'd want to go to a bar and watch the stinky old Cardinals anyways. I've never forgiven them for what they did to my Rangers in 2011.
Plus who'd want to go to a bar and watch the stinky old Cardinals anyways. I've never forgiven them for what they did to my Rangers in 2011.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 94
Allie, way to go! I'm with Casey, I think that's big.
You recognized your what your alcoholic brain was doing to you and refused to let it continue, and you went through the cost/benefit analysis of drinking vs. not drinking and not drinking won out.
I'm trying to put both of those guns in my arsenal, too, and I'm so glad to see them working.
You recognized your what your alcoholic brain was doing to you and refused to let it continue, and you went through the cost/benefit analysis of drinking vs. not drinking and not drinking won out.
I'm trying to put both of those guns in my arsenal, too, and I'm so glad to see them working.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by ANewDayNYC
Felt some temptation to drink today but I made it through. Just taking it one day at a time.
Been another calm but good day here. I was right--today was just paperwork at the new job. Didn't even take 45 minutes actually. I do have a full training shift tomorrow during the day. I think it's just classroom stuff. Ugh. Been in the restaurant business for a long time and am pretty sure it'll be 95% useless info as this is a corporate restaurant and they love to cross the i's and dot the t's with new employees. But that's the nature of the beast and I'm grateful to have a job.
Had a nice homemade Southern style dinner with my folks tonight. Fried pork chops and a baked potato. Dr Pepper chaser. Other than that, I mainly hung around my house, checking in here every 30 minutes or so and doing a lot of reading.
I never did watch last night's Game of Thrones so I'm going to do that before I go to sleep. Thanks again to each and every one of you who posted in here today. Feels good to go to bed sober for the 18th day in a row. Have a good night everyone and see you tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Thank you got the link , Dee.
Reading it now.
Really noticing anxiety and depression(I think), when I stop drinking for 3-5 days.
Did a little journal and I see that I don't make it past that mark unless I just come home, eat as fast as possible, take sleep aides and lay down. I work 10hr workdays, so that functions, but I'm not feeling like im succeeding.
My wife loves me, and I've got to go thank her for that. I wouldn't stay married to an alcoholic, I don't think. No big drama, but alcohol has stolen a lot of our time.
Getting a dry erase board to put my plan on so I can stay focused. That's a huge issue for me- getting sidetracked and losing focus on a sound plan. It's that way for me with life in general. Like I posted earlier, later in the day each day I start feeling super strong anxiety and unwittingly, plan my 4-6 beer slam. Ive given up the vodka sloshing not long ago, but it'll be back unless I start using these things you all have shown me; posts, excerpts and such. They really help.
I've never stopped to think on this, or voice this part, but maybe by sharing, I can help someone , maybe.
In the past I'd get on here and try to post all positive all the time, and it was just me lying to myself, therefore being full of bull, when I typed.
I don't want to die from drinking every 3-4 days, and am feeling pretty low about it today for some reason. I went to bed sober last night, so I really don't know why I'm up in the middle of the night posting here.
It's how I feel and gotta get it out.
Reading it now.
Really noticing anxiety and depression(I think), when I stop drinking for 3-5 days.
Did a little journal and I see that I don't make it past that mark unless I just come home, eat as fast as possible, take sleep aides and lay down. I work 10hr workdays, so that functions, but I'm not feeling like im succeeding.
My wife loves me, and I've got to go thank her for that. I wouldn't stay married to an alcoholic, I don't think. No big drama, but alcohol has stolen a lot of our time.
Getting a dry erase board to put my plan on so I can stay focused. That's a huge issue for me- getting sidetracked and losing focus on a sound plan. It's that way for me with life in general. Like I posted earlier, later in the day each day I start feeling super strong anxiety and unwittingly, plan my 4-6 beer slam. Ive given up the vodka sloshing not long ago, but it'll be back unless I start using these things you all have shown me; posts, excerpts and such. They really help.
I've never stopped to think on this, or voice this part, but maybe by sharing, I can help someone , maybe.
In the past I'd get on here and try to post all positive all the time, and it was just me lying to myself, therefore being full of bull, when I typed.
I don't want to die from drinking every 3-4 days, and am feeling pretty low about it today for some reason. I went to bed sober last night, so I really don't know why I'm up in the middle of the night posting here.
It's how I feel and gotta get it out.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Couldn't sleep so I thought I'd give these boards one more visit.
Thanks for your honesty JL. Sorry you're hurting but glad you came in here to talk about it instead of acting on it by drinking. This addiction sucks. It's crazy how much that stupid liquid affects our bodies and minds even when we're not ingesting it any more. You're recognizing a pattern in your moods. That's a good starting place to being able to change them.
I've got those patterns myself. I know that days 7-11 are usually killers for me, so my plan this time was to hang around here like crazy during those days. It worked this time. I've got another of those previous repetitive danger zones coming up in about a week or so, so I need to start planning now what I'm going to do if those desires to drink and those mood swings start flaring up.
I like your idea of getting a board to be able to really visualize your sobriety plan. I encourage you to keep venting when you need to. Being honest is a great tool in itself. No one in here expects you or anybody else to be positive all the time. This is a deadly addiction and depression and emotional ups and downs are a very real side effect of it. I've been keeping an ongoing document on my computer desktop where I cut and paste any good recovery or mindfulness techniques that I run across on this board. It's growing all the time and is basically a toolbox for me to open up anytime I start feeling off.
I think I'm just rambling but main point is I'm glad you posted and I'm sorry you're hurting. We've all been there before and will probably be there again, but I'm proud of you for stepping up and being honest in here about how things are going. Hang in there buddy, I'll be praying for you.
Thanks for your honesty JL. Sorry you're hurting but glad you came in here to talk about it instead of acting on it by drinking. This addiction sucks. It's crazy how much that stupid liquid affects our bodies and minds even when we're not ingesting it any more. You're recognizing a pattern in your moods. That's a good starting place to being able to change them.
I've got those patterns myself. I know that days 7-11 are usually killers for me, so my plan this time was to hang around here like crazy during those days. It worked this time. I've got another of those previous repetitive danger zones coming up in about a week or so, so I need to start planning now what I'm going to do if those desires to drink and those mood swings start flaring up.
I like your idea of getting a board to be able to really visualize your sobriety plan. I encourage you to keep venting when you need to. Being honest is a great tool in itself. No one in here expects you or anybody else to be positive all the time. This is a deadly addiction and depression and emotional ups and downs are a very real side effect of it. I've been keeping an ongoing document on my computer desktop where I cut and paste any good recovery or mindfulness techniques that I run across on this board. It's growing all the time and is basically a toolbox for me to open up anytime I start feeling off.
I think I'm just rambling but main point is I'm glad you posted and I'm sorry you're hurting. We've all been there before and will probably be there again, but I'm proud of you for stepping up and being honest in here about how things are going. Hang in there buddy, I'll be praying for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 16
Day 7! One week down! Feeling pretty good... I've been to 7 meetings one a day and feel good around the people in the rooms. I've met a couple potential sponsors and am trying my best! I'm just trying to get through one day at a time.
Did you all have a huge moment when you found your higher power? I'm still trying but I have been praying.
Feeling great otherwise... One day down.
Did you all have a huge moment when you found your higher power? I'm still trying but I have been praying.
Feeling great otherwise... One day down.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by realE
I wasn't really finished before I posted - but I have to prepare for the week ahead at work -urghhhhhhhhhh. My anxiety is off the chain dealing with it. Will feel much better when it is done. So going to plow thru it. I was just down to the basement fridge for water and there was my husband's beer. I closed the door. If felt very empowering. 7 days! Yay me
Good luck to you x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 174
Day 26 just coming to an end. Did a 5km run this morning between 5-6am before work.
Also, decided that since I don't have any classes today until 3pm, I'd take this opportunity to quit coffee as well - getting through the day without my morning fix is easier when I don't have an 8.30am class to come to (and be energetic, involved etc).
And true to my word, today I'm going to tone down the over-exercising. No hardcore run tonight, just a quiet walk to the temple this evening, to do some meditation.
But still going to keep my early morning run tomorrow.
Feeling pretty happy with what I've achieved this month - especially after my relapses last month - with the state of my dramatically improving health, with everything really - and well happy that in less than 48 hours, I'll be waking up to a full 4 weeks sober - then under 100 hours after that, a full, completed sober month.
Also, decided that since I don't have any classes today until 3pm, I'd take this opportunity to quit coffee as well - getting through the day without my morning fix is easier when I don't have an 8.30am class to come to (and be energetic, involved etc).
And true to my word, today I'm going to tone down the over-exercising. No hardcore run tonight, just a quiet walk to the temple this evening, to do some meditation.
But still going to keep my early morning run tomorrow.
Feeling pretty happy with what I've achieved this month - especially after my relapses last month - with the state of my dramatically improving health, with everything really - and well happy that in less than 48 hours, I'll be waking up to a full 4 weeks sober - then under 100 hours after that, a full, completed sober month.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by AGAGONNHOJ
... and well happy that in less than 48 hours, I'll be waking up to a full 4 weeks sober - then under 100 hours after that, a full, completed sober month.
I find I have to keep my "new" habits toned down, too. Otherwise, I burn out and then start to revert. I am taking a much more gradual approach to building up each habit. I am now meditating for a whopping 8 minutes each day.
-----
I woke up at 4:30am this morning, but that is fine because there was no hangover. I will be making pancakes in a few minutes for my youngest daughter and then getting ready myself.
My daughter has been asking me questions about alcohol lately as they have been teaching about it in school. I wonder what effect it has to be told it is bad in school and then seeing all the adults in the neighborhood drinking it.
Another sober morning for me and I will stay sober all day long!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 200
Day 19: 50 shades of blah
Ho hum.
Despite spring blooms, everything seems colored in shades of brown and grey. Exercise, whatever. Work, blah. Finished another novel, meh. Just not overly enthused about much.
Looking for stimulation, finding none. Not depressed, not even melancholy, not anxious. Haven't heard from the parasite in days.
These are the days when the liver has been cleansed, the body healing......but the brain seems to be in "standby" mode, waiting for some excitement....any.
Good luck to all.
4
Ho hum.
Despite spring blooms, everything seems colored in shades of brown and grey. Exercise, whatever. Work, blah. Finished another novel, meh. Just not overly enthused about much.
Looking for stimulation, finding none. Not depressed, not even melancholy, not anxious. Haven't heard from the parasite in days.
These are the days when the liver has been cleansed, the body healing......but the brain seems to be in "standby" mode, waiting for some excitement....any.
Good luck to all.
4
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 43
Day 6 in the books for me kind of a frustrating day for me, not so much with me not drinking but more so with my crabby other half. I don't know if his bad mood has to do with me not drinking or with something completely different going on inside of him. I guess what is important right now Is that I'm working on me. He can work on him when he is ready. Until then I will continue to walk away and do something productive when he gets into his moods.
I read a couple posts about husbands/significant others not really understanding this site or wanting the stigma of the term alcoholic attached to you or themselves.
My response to this is that it's not really the label that matters, it is what you do with the information that you have about yourself. You are here because you, at one point, thought you may need help dealing with an issue with alcohol. Whatever that issue is or what you want to call it doesn't really matter. What does matter is what you do about it. If this website is a tool you use to deal with your issue and it is helping, well then that is all that matters. I personally am not a huge fan of labels because it puts people in boxes, which is a dangerous thing. For example, if your idea of an alcoholic is someone who NEEDS to drink everyday and you can go weeks without drinking, then by those standards, you are not an alcoholic therefore you can drink. Let's ignore the fact that you may make very poor choices when you drink or blackout or drink for days. Wow that is a scary thing right there. I know, because I was/am there myself. I think, the sooner we can stop worrying about what to call ourselves or which category we may fit in and just accept that we or I guess I should say, I have decided that alcohol does not work in my life and i need to do what's best to make sure I stick to that plan, and I will be better off. Ok so clearly this is all my opinion so sorry if I offend anyone or your plan doesn't fit what I'm saying. This is simply how I think and what seems to work for me now and has in the past. So I guess that will end my little rant lol I hope everyone is having an amazing day and finds the strength to stay sober today despite whatever may come your way. Good night!
kind of a frustrating day for me, not so much with me not drinking but more so with my crabby other half. I don't know if his bad mood has to do with me not drinking or with something completely different going on inside of him. I guess what is important right now Is that I'm working on me. He can work on him when he is ready. Until then I will continue to walk away and do something productive when he gets into his moods. I read a couple posts about husbands/significant others not really understanding this site or wanting the stigma of the term alcoholic attached to you or themselves.
My response to this is that it's not really the label that matters, it is what you do with the information that you have about yourself. You are here because you, at one point, thought you may need help dealing with an issue with alcohol. Whatever that issue is or what you want to call it doesn't really matter. What does matter is what you do about it. If this website is a tool you use to deal with your issue and it is helping, well then that is all that matters. I personally am not a huge fan of labels because it puts people in boxes, which is a dangerous thing. For example, if your idea of an alcoholic is someone who NEEDS to drink everyday and you can go weeks without drinking, then by those standards, you are not an alcoholic therefore you can drink. Let's ignore the fact that you may make very poor choices when you drink or blackout or drink for days. Wow that is a scary thing right there. I know, because I was/am there myself. I think, the sooner we can stop worrying about what to call ourselves or which category we may fit in and just accept that we or I guess I should say, I have decided that alcohol does not work in my life and i need to do what's best to make sure I stick to that plan, and I will be better off. Ok so clearly this is all my opinion so sorry if I offend anyone or your plan doesn't fit what I'm saying. This is simply how I think and what seems to work for me now and has in the past. So I guess that will end my little rant lol I hope everyone is having an amazing day and finds the strength to stay sober today despite whatever may come your way. Good night!
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