gonzo4419

Yeah, if I'm writing out a long post I'm usually right click copying as I go, or if it's really long I'll write it out on a word doc. then paste it in once done. Learned to do this the hard way years ago writing out long emails that would crash midway, then get angry.

ReadyAtLast

Morning all

I've also been reading but not posting much Tazzle. Coming across in newcomers is a great deal of anxiety and uncertainty amongst many,myself included. I wonder if it's the holidays, time of year, full moon, anything I don't know. I hope you feel better soon -maybe see your doc?

Courage- what lovely comments, thank you How are you? Is your husband feeling better?

Tam- sorry to hear of the uncertainty at your work place. I hope your position is safe.

Alice-good to hear from you. I know what you mean feeling anxious. do you read on newcomers much? It helps me reading others stories and there are often some really good coping tips and help for anxiety etc.

Marria-you're sounding like life is good for you which is great

Dee-I hope progress is being made for your housing situation

so I've had an up and down couple of weeks. I feel better on the meds. The anxiety,nervousness and tension is not AS bad as it was but not better. I know these things take time. I am questioning my life, my marriage, my capabilities as a mother, my friendships,the whole thing really Whilst I like having visitors it also really takes it out of me physically and mentally. I think I mentioned this before and many of you could relate-it's about introverts feeling tired after social interaction. When my visitors left last week Sam and Ihad a pajama day,ate chocolate and watched DVDs.The rain was lashing down so I didn't feel too guilty doing it and we had great fun. This week the weather is better so I'm making the effort to do something every day .It is an effort though,if that makes sense. When out I enjoy it it's just getting out that takes the effort. I must sound really lazy and a bad person Just hoping it improves. Next week we are going to visit family which we're looking forward to.

hope you are all ok.xx

Dee74

I'm moving into another flat in this same complex RAL - not exactly the outcome I wanted but it's security for the rest of the year

D

ReadyAtLast

Oh that's good Dee, I'm glad you got something sorted out. Hopefully this will give you time to get the place you really want

Tamerua

I am anxious... A job that I applied for back in May called me today and they want I interview me. They are going to contact me this week to come in this week. :-| I'm excited, nervous, excited, anxious... The "you're not good enough" talk is there and I am trying to block it out.

Dee, way to go on getting a place. Something is better than nothing!

RAL, it takes time to even out. And I get it... I am also extremely introverted and people wear me out. Lol funny how a lot of alcoholics are introverted (from what I read here and hear in meetings).

Courage, how are you? How is the husband? How is the sabbatical going, are you back on track?

Taz! Hiya! Sorry to hear about the nightmares. I don't know of any remedy for them.

Alice! Salsa isn't Spain Spanish (which is ole) but that is ok, most people wouldn't notice. I think we start next week or the week after. How is the foot? Is the night guard helping? Oy vey... The personality... Very negative, very quick to point out what everyone else is doing wrong... I tell her to stay in her own lane and that she can't come and tell me a problem without offering a solution. She doesn't like to hear that. She is just exhausting.

Hi gonzo and Marria and Napster!

Off to a meeting. Much needed.

courage2

Tam, what kind of job is it? Is it something you'd be excited to do? I think if you can genuinely convey enthusiasm for the work, it's a great interview. I try to hire people who are intrinsically motivated to enjoy the work. Also I look for someone who can use a job as the next step on a rising career path, not just a paycheck.

Husband is getting better, almost back to what passes for normal for him. Summer/sabbatical productivity has been shot to hell by a series of work crises which I seem (fingers still crossed) to have successfully negotiated but it's been tough. Now the adrenaline from dealing with stuff is over & I'm crashing. I shouldn't let myself get this tired, but sometimes it happens. This is when a single bad decision can become a series of bad actions and reactions & lead to trouble. So, I'm here, posting.

Thanks, December!

Tamerua

I am glad you're here too. And sorry to hear you're dealing with crises at work, no fun at all. Stay here, keep your meetings, even if you walk out.

It is something I would like, dare I say love? Product development, I enjoy that stuff. I have 4 interviews to get through between now and Tuesday. Today I feel calm about it. I think I will do ok because I'm sober, I have a different attitude. And, I applied. I felt stuck and apathetic while I was drinking.

Enough rambling. Sending you a hug courage!

ReadyAtLast

Oh wow that's great news Tam. For someone to call and want you is such a confidence boost too and shows you are great at what you do. wishing you all the very best for the interviews. You can do this

courage-take a step back and a deep breath.Can you break the crises down into smaller parts and deal with each on a manageable level. stay calm and you 'll get through.Above all don't drink

I'm feeling slightly better-you're right Tam,it just needs a period of levelling out. The weather here is gorgeous. We've had days out mixed with lazy days as it is too hot for Sam all the time.We have no AC in our homes as you do in the US Luckily our house is near the sea and original old wood floors throughout - very drafty in winter but perfect now!!

What is everyone up to this weekend? I'm working tomorrow morning then will take Sam out in the afternoon plus meeting friends Sunday.

Tamerua

RAL, um... I wouldn't be ok with no AC. I would be hangry all the time (so hot you're angry, you can also use hangry for so hungry you're angry). But lazy sounds nice! And I'm glad you're evening out, it's not fun to feel tense and anxious, been there. My heart goes out to everyone here who has that.

I had my phone interview and I think I did ok. I said "um" too many times but then she asked me a personal question and I was a lot more relaxed. Monday are two face to face interviews and I have my outfits ready. I did what my sponsor told me to... I sat, eyes closed right before the call and asked the universe for help. I figure it can't hurt. And I'm trying to not thinking about it since it is out of my hands. You all see how well I'm doing with that! lol

Work out, some work work and sleep are my weekend plans, what about all of you?

Marria

I've had some friends staying and it's been really good. As always I go into overdrive getting ready with cleaning, tidying, grocery shopping etc. and mostly at the last minute just to increase the stress! It was very enjoyable while they were here with lots of conversation, day-trips, sharing meals etc. And now while it's good to get back to normal I miss them too especially as my life has gone back to its quiet routine. I guess it reminds me that I need that balance between me time and social interaction..... Time to get out more!

RAL I know what you mean about the effort involved in getting out and then enjoying it once you're out and about. I like your combination of lazy days and activity.... Your pajama day sounded perfect!

Taz I hope your bad dreams have subsided and you're doing well.

Alice, how are you now? Did you get the space you needed? I hope your emotions have evened out and you're feeling less tense... I can be a bit haphazard with my diet too and I think it definitely affects mood!

Dee best wishes with your new flat, a stepping stone towards what you're aiming for.

Courage, are you more rested now after managing those crises? I loved what you said about hiring people who are motivated and enthusiastic about enjoying their work. That's how I would like to be because it makes the working day much more interesting and enjoyable.

Tam best of luck with the face to face interview. Keep telling yourself that you are good enough, competent, capable, intelligent, hard- working etc. I have a very loud 'not good enough' voice when it comes to interviews!! As you said you have a different attitude now that you don't drink, so tap into the strength you have found in sobriety...

Hi to everyone else in December have a good weekend x

My plans are to spend today with my sister and then a meal with friends this evening. My kids are enjoying summer a lot and that makes me relax too. I envy the busy 'fun- schedule' they enjoy compared to my far more sedate life but I also see the freedom which is opening up for me as they get older and more independent. That scares me too, freedom, aargh!

courage2

Great posts, everyone. My weekend started with me sleeping late followed by a lot of lounging. This can happen once you don't have kids at home! Then, I have a lot of work work to do because I basically lost one work week when my husband was in the hospital and last week when I decided to do a training instead of other things. But since it's summer and sabbatical, no one's watching my productivity clock but me. Otherwise my biggest goal for the weekend is doing something about my hair, which somehow got out of control lol!

courage2

Not quite Phil Spector level of out of control, but still.

Tamerua

That's kinda what I look like in the morning if I go to bed with a wet head. Lol

My favorite snow birds are in NY until winter and they sent me these mugs. When I was making the basket for the raffle, they had these mugs for it and I had mentioned I wanted to win the raffle. Out of the blue, I got a package on my door step!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

ReadyAtLast

Hangry Tam-I love it Thanks for that - I will keep that in my mind when things get tough. The thing is-no matter how bad something is it does pass.When in the thick of it it just seems so tough, tense, emotional, painful etc but it really does pass.

My brother is visiting today so looking forward to that.

Happy sober Sunday everyone

courage2

I'm afraid I've taken the scissors to my own hair, which is not only a cosmetological mistake, but it's a sure symptom of alcoholic thinking.

I'm having all of a sudden the last couple of days a lot of obtrusive thoughts about drinking. I'm going to put that out here, in hopes that they'll go away. I think it has to do with some residual guilt around the wreckage of my past, present, and future, which it's just not in the best interest of anyone for me to make public amends for, but still kind of makes me feel like a piece of crap. I know I can't indulge these thoughts. That way madness lies.

OK, I'm going to go look for a piercing parlor.

Tamerua

What are you piercing?!?? Good on you for telling on yourself. In a meeting the other day the topic was, "clearing the wreckage of our future: projection." Lol just stay in the now, that is all you can have. Do you journal, courage? Maybe getting it out of you would help?

RAL, how was the visit with your bother?

Marria, how are you and the teens doing? And how do you keep food in the house?!?

Howdy to everyone else, kinda quiet in here.

Made it through all of the interviews, there were 4. They said they are making their decision this week. We will see. Trying to give it to the universe right now. The one thing that I don't like about looking for a job is the sneakiness, if that makes sense? It is really bothering me and I feel paranoid.

Everyone have a good night!

courage2

Fingers crossed for you, Tam!

courage2

My belly button, if anything. I almost did it a month ago and the shop was closed on the day I went there.

tazzle

Oh good there are peoples here!

Been busy with life, had the annual family picnic, first one without FIL, managed to avoid getting sucked into SS's wife's delusional world,, this was accomplished by not talking to her, or making eye contact. Because of her facebook post's I was approached by several people asking what is up with her? One statement sent me into hysterics, a family member walked up to me, didn't even try to be subtle and just blurted out with a nod in her direction-- "She's batsh*t crazy isn't she?" Still laughing over that.

I have an interview for the jail position on the 14th, not getting to excited about it, what will be, will be.

Will be camping almost every weekend from now on, hubby got his elk tag, so we have to go scout the area out, (never been there). So am looking forward to that. For the record I don't hunt, but I support his right to do it, and I enjoy the camping, so it works.

Take care all, and lets not all be strangers around here!

ReadyAtLast

oh wow glad it's not just me. I did the same last week!!! I hate having my hair cut- it is long and naturally curly and they always cut too much off and I prefer it when a few weeks have gone by.Then I put it off for weeks! So I trimmed it myself,big mistake!! Went to hair salon this week to have it remedied and feel sooooooo much better now