Class of December 2012 - Part 12
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 569
Hello all! sorry about being MIA, it was not intended. Been busy at work, coming home and just crashing. Spent this am attacking the front flower bed and yanking out a LOT of morning glory, it really took over when I wasn't looking.
Our youngest son and DIL gifted us with our first grandbaby this am! girl, 9 lbs 12 oz 19 inches. both mom and baby are fine and healthy! We are going to see them this coming weekend.
I have an interview this Thursday for the Jail position, still not the least excited or nervous about it, stuck in a "whatever" attitude. Cant be disappointed that way I guess.
My words of annoyance are;
Cool- a one word reply to whatever you say to someone.
um- usually the first word spoken by a young female (Me answering the phone-) "can I help you?" young female- " um(pause while brain engages) do you, um (pause again)have any of um, this for sale? grrrrr I want to slap them, formulate your thoughts, speak!
Our youngest son and DIL gifted us with our first grandbaby this am! girl, 9 lbs 12 oz 19 inches. both mom and baby are fine and healthy! We are going to see them this coming weekend.
I have an interview this Thursday for the Jail position, still not the least excited or nervous about it, stuck in a "whatever" attitude. Cant be disappointed that way I guess.
My words of annoyance are;
Cool- a one word reply to whatever you say to someone.
um- usually the first word spoken by a young female (Me answering the phone-) "can I help you?" young female- " um(pause while brain engages) do you, um (pause again)have any of um, this for sale? grrrrr I want to slap them, formulate your thoughts, speak!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,100
Congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter, Taz! She's a big one! I hope you can post pictures -- I don't think it will compromise your anonymity, but I understand if you don't agree. Big Big Hug! 
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Congrats Taz.
Im sad I just lost a whole post I wrote.
Well Im still drinking. Drinking Jameson and beers today.
I plan on finishing my last shots tonight and trying for sobriety beginning tomorrow.
Its weird. Its been almost a year since I caved. I had a month a coupla months ago but it was halfhearted. Its strange because my life is going so well.
My marriage is great. My kids are happy. I make more $ now than I ever have. And I have kept my drinking under reasonable control.
Its interesting to me that I built this great life while drinking but its obvious my internal condition is unmanageable. I guess all good things come to an end.
Theres at least one phrase I hate
Hope you all are good
Im sad I just lost a whole post I wrote.
Well Im still drinking. Drinking Jameson and beers today.
I plan on finishing my last shots tonight and trying for sobriety beginning tomorrow.
Its weird. Its been almost a year since I caved. I had a month a coupla months ago but it was halfhearted. Its strange because my life is going so well.
My marriage is great. My kids are happy. I make more $ now than I ever have. And I have kept my drinking under reasonable control.
Its interesting to me that I built this great life while drinking but its obvious my internal condition is unmanageable. I guess all good things come to an end.
Theres at least one phrase I hate
Hope you all are good
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Morning!!!
Taz are you off snuggling that baby?
Fallow, good to hear from you! Today is your day 1? Are you still doing AA? My last few years of drinking were actually my tamer years, I got a good job, bought a house 6 months before I quit, my son was getting on track, but internally I was dying. God I miserable. I didn't realize then it was alcohol though. Miss you around here.
Courage, any other info on your opportunity?
RAL, hope you're well. Spa day was relaxing I'm sure.
Hi gonzo, Dee, Alice, Marria! Anyone hear from Napster?
Off to work. Le sigh. Lol vacation over now. No word on the job yet, still plugging along and putting in resumes.
Everyone have a good one!
Taz are you off snuggling that baby?
Fallow, good to hear from you! Today is your day 1? Are you still doing AA? My last few years of drinking were actually my tamer years, I got a good job, bought a house 6 months before I quit, my son was getting on track, but internally I was dying. God I miserable. I didn't realize then it was alcohol though. Miss you around here.
Courage, any other info on your opportunity?
RAL, hope you're well. Spa day was relaxing I'm sure.
Hi gonzo, Dee, Alice, Marria! Anyone hear from Napster?
Off to work. Le sigh. Lol vacation over now. No word on the job yet, still plugging along and putting in resumes.
Everyone have a good one!
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Yes today is day 1. I really dont have a plan.
AA isnt out of the question. Its just getting past my million excuses first. They are valid excuses seriously. I have my wife and kids, I work 50 plus hours a week, and have a big house with a big back and front yards and inside work to take care of. On top of all that I have my own business. And a bunch of miscellaneous stuff I do. So I dont have much time to take 1.5 to 2 hours out of days to sit in a meeting.
I do still have a sponor of sorts I talk with so maybe I will work with him.
Right now Im just gonna go AVRT style. I still listen to tons of speaker tapes. And being here helps.
I do wonder what will really be different this time. I have not hit any sort of rock bottom. I just want to feel better and more at peace with me. I know sobriety produces that. Its just whats gonna happen when my mind catches up to me again?
AA isnt out of the question. Its just getting past my million excuses first. They are valid excuses seriously. I have my wife and kids, I work 50 plus hours a week, and have a big house with a big back and front yards and inside work to take care of. On top of all that I have my own business. And a bunch of miscellaneous stuff I do. So I dont have much time to take 1.5 to 2 hours out of days to sit in a meeting.
I do still have a sponor of sorts I talk with so maybe I will work with him.
Right now Im just gonna go AVRT style. I still listen to tons of speaker tapes. And being here helps.
I do wonder what will really be different this time. I have not hit any sort of rock bottom. I just want to feel better and more at peace with me. I know sobriety produces that. Its just whats gonna happen when my mind catches up to me again?
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,100
Hey Fallow, I think that's where help helps. After my relapse, for a while I never made a decision without running it past a roomful of drunks, my former sponsor, and all of SR, not kidding. You just have to continuously admit that your own mind can't be trusted, and give it up.
As for AA, yes, you have too many other commitments to have time for meetings. If meetings will help preserve your marriage, your family, your sanity, and your health, maybe you should cut back on some of the other commitments. If you're making so much $, hire a handyman or maid and someone to take care of the yard. Cut back on the work -- there will always be work at your age, unless you ruin your reputation through drinking.
Strikes me there's a lot of stuff you've accumulated to cover whatever you drink over. Maybe it's time to drop some burdens?
As for AA, yes, you have too many other commitments to have time for meetings. If meetings will help preserve your marriage, your family, your sanity, and your health, maybe you should cut back on some of the other commitments. If you're making so much $, hire a handyman or maid and someone to take care of the yard. Cut back on the work -- there will always be work at your age, unless you ruin your reputation through drinking.
Strikes me there's a lot of stuff you've accumulated to cover whatever you drink over. Maybe it's time to drop some burdens?
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Howdy all!
I understand Fallow, I really do, I have a very similar schedule. I hit meetings and sometimes my sponsor tells me to take a step back and evaluate if I'm keeping busy because I need to be or if I'm avoiding being with myself. Not a bad evaluation for any of us. Just know that I say because I care.
Went on a jog this morning and was charged by a pit bull. That was rock solid. And had clipped ears. And he wasn't just saying good morning. So while I yelled that it wasn't on a leash and then froze (I was attacked as a kid, bitten in the face), my partner got between it and me and held it off until the owner was finally inconvenienced enough to come down as get it... Sheesh. What a way to start the morning.
The non sober me would stop running at 5 am and sit around making excuses as to why. The sober me has looked up laws in the county on aggressive animals and will go to this guy's house tonight under the assumption that he let the dog go out that early without a leash thinking no one would be walking around at 5 AM and discuss how that can't happen again and will call the authorities if it ever does.
So that has been my morning! Hope everyone else is doing OK!
I understand Fallow, I really do, I have a very similar schedule. I hit meetings and sometimes my sponsor tells me to take a step back and evaluate if I'm keeping busy because I need to be or if I'm avoiding being with myself. Not a bad evaluation for any of us. Just know that I say because I care.
Went on a jog this morning and was charged by a pit bull. That was rock solid. And had clipped ears. And he wasn't just saying good morning. So while I yelled that it wasn't on a leash and then froze (I was attacked as a kid, bitten in the face), my partner got between it and me and held it off until the owner was finally inconvenienced enough to come down as get it... Sheesh. What a way to start the morning.
The non sober me would stop running at 5 am and sit around making excuses as to why. The sober me has looked up laws in the county on aggressive animals and will go to this guy's house tonight under the assumption that he let the dog go out that early without a leash thinking no one would be walking around at 5 AM and discuss how that can't happen again and will call the authorities if it ever does.
So that has been my morning! Hope everyone else is doing OK!
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Good day all. Still here. Im staying sober. Feeling fine so far other than being tired.
It would be lovely to drop some responsibility. Maybe Ill get a lawn care service. My main time drain is my job though and if anything that is getting worse not better.
It would be lovely to drop some responsibility. Maybe Ill get a lawn care service. My main time drain is my job though and if anything that is getting worse not better.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
There's got to be a teenager willing to cut the lawn, my son is always looking for someone but our neighborhood is small. No advice about work time, mine is the same.... They let go of people and that work has to go somewhere. Glad you're posting!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: BC
Posts: 410
I had someone doing my lawn, and a maid service for awhile. All it really did was allow me to drink more. Didn't have that guilt that the house was a mess and the lawn was a jungle, although I did have to make sure all the empties were squared away before the maids got there.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Sitting in the ER with my son... He hyperventilated on purpose (something he picked up on YouTube, along with the cinnamon challenge and the ghost pepper challenge) and needs stitches in his chin. I love him. He is my son. But I'm trying not to freak out in him. He just hurt his leg in January and we are paying for it (financially) and that was an accident. But to do this... This is going to set us back a bit money-wise. 
just venting. Sorry. Don't want a drink. Just want some financial relief, this is stressing me out.
just venting. Sorry. Don't want a drink. Just want some financial relief, this is stressing me out.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Just an update. 10 stitches in his chin, we see a dentist on Saturday. He is in bed and we have high school orientation tomorrow.
We had to go back to camp to get his stuff and he hugged and apologized to all the counselors. The male counselor talked to him about decisions and in high school there are drugs and alcohol and one bad decision could ruin his life.
They did tell him they loved him ( he's been going there since he was 5 and he just turned 14) and that they want him to come and help the kids over the holidays and to be a counselor in training next summer and a PT job at 16 (sweet gig).
I'm calmer about the money.... I'll pay it when I pay it... If it hits my credit, oh well. It's medical stuff.
Sorry, long winded.
We had to go back to camp to get his stuff and he hugged and apologized to all the counselors. The male counselor talked to him about decisions and in high school there are drugs and alcohol and one bad decision could ruin his life.
They did tell him they loved him ( he's been going there since he was 5 and he just turned 14) and that they want him to come and help the kids over the holidays and to be a counselor in training next summer and a PT job at 16 (sweet gig).
I'm calmer about the money.... I'll pay it when I pay it... If it hits my credit, oh well. It's medical stuff.
Sorry, long winded.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
