Class Of February 2014 Part 8
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Man, this therapist is Mrs. AA. she was late, answered cell phone, a mess in my mind.
I'm frustrated because I think I KNOW what to do and I'm no longer interested. I'll probably be successful skipping booze store tonight only because we made plans requiring waking up early. (one of my strategies to staying sober, guess it's working)
Still at work till seven thirty pm. Have to meet hours quota, and I took two hours to see therapist. Working next to a still still silent game co worker. Fun.
Hour drive home, eat, bed. Catching train at 630 am.
Bahhh.
I'm frustrated because I think I KNOW what to do and I'm no longer interested. I'll probably be successful skipping booze store tonight only because we made plans requiring waking up early. (one of my strategies to staying sober, guess it's working)
Still at work till seven thirty pm. Have to meet hours quota, and I took two hours to see therapist. Working next to a still still silent game co worker. Fun.
Hour drive home, eat, bed. Catching train at 630 am.
Bahhh.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
Torn this is sounding a lot like the IOP where you got let down, and you drank.
I'm not defending your therapist - but if it's not working, I think you need to find something or someone that will work for you?
D
I'm not defending your therapist - but if it's not working, I think you need to find something or someone that will work for you?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 436
Hello Febbies! 9:00 on a Friday night and it feels so good to be sober, doesn't it?! I went for my blood work this morning finally and it felt really good walking in there at 8:20 AM with a clear head. 3 months ago that wouldn't have been possible! These are the things I keep reminding myself of when I'm feeling frustrated in the middle of the afternoon when I feel my energy waning.
Last Sunday on Mother's Day my 15 year old gave me a card and inside it he wrote how proud he was that I had stopped drinking. It was the best Mother's Day gift I could have ever received!
This road is far from easy but we're all doing it and we should all be very proud of ourselves!
Hope everyone has a great weekend!! xxoo
Last Sunday on Mother's Day my 15 year old gave me a card and inside it he wrote how proud he was that I had stopped drinking. It was the best Mother's Day gift I could have ever received!
This road is far from easy but we're all doing it and we should all be very proud of ourselves!
Hope everyone has a great weekend!! xxoo
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Torn this is sounding a lot like the IOP where you got let down, and you drank.
I'm not defending your therapist - but if it's not working, I think you need to find something or someone that will work for you?
D
I'm not defending your therapist - but if it's not working, I think you need to find something or someone that will work for you?
D
Drove home and ate, going to bed in about an hour. I'm sure I'll be glad I did that tomorrow.
I'll probably see both therapists one more time and see what happens. Mrs. AA though - might not work. She wanted to hear I was going to find a higher power and said only way to get sober was to do so - "Fake it until you make it!"
Other lady wanted to explore the past - find the 'trauma' which I don't know I have one.
I liked her better so far.
I'll be busy with the gym and school too - but HALT is good. After I got home and ate, I felt ton better. HALT and SR. Bed early to rise early - a Friday victory that almost wasn't one!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Hi guys, haven't posted in a while but I have been checking in and hanging on by a thread. It is one if those rare nights that I have the house to myself. I really do like being alone, but in this situation it makes me wish I could be with my ex. Which of course made me want to drink. I really considered it, but like you torn, I recognized HALT --- and I ate, bought myself some magazines I enjoy, and I'm in bed with my dogs. I'm seeing my counselor tomorrow and I really think that is the main reason I didn't cave tonight.
I have loved so many of your posts this week and want to respond and thank many of you, but that will have to wait til tomorrow when I'm on my laptop and in a better frame of mind.
Just a lot of stuff rattling around in my head. Haven't heard a peep from my ex bf in over two weeks and it frustrates and hurts me terribly. I know I just need to let it go. I know i will hear from him eventually, but I'm so tired of all this waiting and back and forth. I honestly don't even know what it is that I want. I want him, but so often once I have him, I feel pressured and pull away. I just need to focus on myself and let the rest work itself out.
Looking forward to summer but also scared of all that free time. So conflicted about so many things.
I have loved so many of your posts this week and want to respond and thank many of you, but that will have to wait til tomorrow when I'm on my laptop and in a better frame of mind.
Just a lot of stuff rattling around in my head. Haven't heard a peep from my ex bf in over two weeks and it frustrates and hurts me terribly. I know I just need to let it go. I know i will hear from him eventually, but I'm so tired of all this waiting and back and forth. I honestly don't even know what it is that I want. I want him, but so often once I have him, I feel pressured and pull away. I just need to focus on myself and let the rest work itself out.
Looking forward to summer but also scared of all that free time. So conflicted about so many things.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,881
Originally Posted by tornrealization
Yeaaaa I saw the pattern too, I guess why I posted on SR. I didn't so much post last time and just bought the bottle.
Drove home and ate, going to bed in about an hour. I'm sure I'll be glad I did that tomorrow.
I'll probably see both therapists one more time and see what happens. Mrs. AA though - might not work. She wanted to hear I was going to find a higher power and said only way to get sober was to do so - "Fake it until you make it!"
Other lady wanted to explore the past - find the 'trauma' which I don't know I have one.
I liked her better so far.
I'll be busy with the gym and school too - but HALT is good. After I got home and ate, I felt ton better. HALT and SR. Bed early to rise early - a Friday victory that almost wasn't one!
Drove home and ate, going to bed in about an hour. I'm sure I'll be glad I did that tomorrow.
I'll probably see both therapists one more time and see what happens. Mrs. AA though - might not work. She wanted to hear I was going to find a higher power and said only way to get sober was to do so - "Fake it until you make it!"
Other lady wanted to explore the past - find the 'trauma' which I don't know I have one.
I liked her better so far.
I'll be busy with the gym and school too - but HALT is good. After I got home and ate, I felt ton better. HALT and SR. Bed early to rise early - a Friday victory that almost wasn't one!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
No, it isn't Dee. And it's been going on for years and years. Part of me wishes I could let go, and part of me still believes that we can figure all this out and have a happy ending. It's not good for me the way it is now, that's for sure.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
First of all, props to Dee for noticing the parallel between Torn's feelings after meeting with the AA based therapist and her triggering IOP experience. You are amazing.
Torn - I hate to see you triggered by folks whose role it is to help you. It's perfectly acceptable to be resistant to AA. Many people are, who wind up recovering long term using a hybrid of approaches. You strike me as a practical, solution oriented person, who wants advice not platitudes.
Fabl - I'm sorry to hear you're caught in a loop of negativity with your ex boyfriend. Sometimes, for me, it's easier to focus on drama than deal with the underlying causes of my unhappiness. From a practical standpoint, it doesn't make sense to put effort into a relationship that sabotages your sobriety.
Torn - I hate to see you triggered by folks whose role it is to help you. It's perfectly acceptable to be resistant to AA. Many people are, who wind up recovering long term using a hybrid of approaches. You strike me as a practical, solution oriented person, who wants advice not platitudes.
Fabl - I'm sorry to hear you're caught in a loop of negativity with your ex boyfriend. Sometimes, for me, it's easier to focus on drama than deal with the underlying causes of my unhappiness. From a practical standpoint, it doesn't make sense to put effort into a relationship that sabotages your sobriety.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Up early on the way to Chicago. Glad I didn't drink. Finally did taxes last night. Going to use funds for new bed for my back.
I did last years taxes half in the bag. State rejected mine. Tried to fix it, drunk. So this year, I address it. I was using the wrong parcel number for my house. Twice, and a sober Torn would've caught that. Have to mail it in.
Taxes in the last three years all organized in files. Instead of messy done pile. Much better night than getting sauced.
Yea!
I did last years taxes half in the bag. State rejected mine. Tried to fix it, drunk. So this year, I address it. I was using the wrong parcel number for my house. Twice, and a sober Torn would've caught that. Have to mail it in.
Taxes in the last three years all organized in files. Instead of messy done pile. Much better night than getting sauced.
Yea!
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
FABL- Good to hear you fought off the AV. I'm proud of you. I hope you have a good counseling session. Maybe they can help you start to heal and move on from you relationship that is causing triggers.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,881
Originally Posted by tornrealization
Up early on the way to Chicago. Glad I didn't drink. Finally did taxes last night. Going to use funds for new bed for my back.
I did last years taxes half in the bag. State rejected mine. Tried to fix it, drunk. So this year, I address it. I was using the wrong parcel number for my house. Twice, and a sober Torn would've caught that. Have to mail it in.
Taxes in the last three years all organized in files. Instead of messy done pile. Much better night than getting sauced.
Yea!
I did last years taxes half in the bag. State rejected mine. Tried to fix it, drunk. So this year, I address it. I was using the wrong parcel number for my house. Twice, and a sober Torn would've caught that. Have to mail it in.
Taxes in the last three years all organized in files. Instead of messy done pile. Much better night than getting sauced.
Yea!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 346
FABL, I have made so many strides this week in my similar situation. Noticed early that I wasn't thinking about him constantly. Noticed yesterday that I didn't think of him much at all. Our email is set up in a way that we can see if someone is actively working at their computer. I found earlier in the week I occasionally checked. I know- stalker- ! At some point someone asked me if he was in. Most people don't realize I had to end our friendship and there is still some crossover with this job. I realized I had no idea if he was there. I hadn't thought about it and I hadn't checked I a couple days. That seems to carry over to evenings. He just hasn't been on my mid. I hope you start to work towards that peace. We can get there together.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,881
Originally Posted by DiggingIn
FABL, I have made so many strides this week in my similar situation. Noticed early that I wasn't thinking about him constantly. Noticed yesterday that I didn't think of him much at all. Our email is set up in a way that we can see if someone is actively working at their computer. I found earlier in the week I occasionally checked. I know- stalker- ! At some point someone asked me if he was in. Most people don't realize I had to end our friendship and there is still some crossover with this job. I realized I had no idea if he was there. I hadn't thought about it and I hadn't checked I a couple days. That seems to carry over to evenings. He just hasn't been on my mid. I hope you start to work towards that peace. We can get there together.
That's great progress, DI - music to my ears!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Torn - It looks like a gorgeous day to be in Chicago. 
DiggingIn - I'm happy that changing your physical environment is helping you break through the emotional attachment piece of your recovery.
Time to watch some little league baseball.
DiggingIn - I'm happy that changing your physical environment is helping you break through the emotional attachment piece of your recovery.
Time to watch some little league baseball.
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