Moms and Mums Club 2013 Part 9
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Thanks for sharing ladies! Babs and Lulu fantastic job on your time!! I'm trying to load up on herbal tea. And find some good books to read. Also got some new lavender Epsom salts. I love baths and books!
That said, any recovery related reads you would recommend? I have 'Drinking: A Love Story" so far by Caroline Knapp.
That said, any recovery related reads you would recommend? I have 'Drinking: A Love Story" so far by Caroline Knapp.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 369
Applekat - some things that got me through the VERY, VERY begining...
Kudzu - I took/take Kudzu (herbal supplement said to ease cravings for alcohol)
Guts - The Kristen Johnston Memoir
Smashed - A recent fiction movie
(There's another documentary I just got on Itunes but I'll have to find it, its a documentary on women and alcohol.)
I also drank/drink - NA beer when I go out (that was my plan on dealing with social situations), I'd whisper to the server when people were distracted, "Can I have an NA beer, in a glass? Don't bring the bottle.'
Socially, I do a heck of a lot more lunches than anything else.
I also watched a lot of that show Intervention and reached the end of the internet on alcoholic moms, women, celebrity women, celebrities who drink drink
That's a few of my go-to's.
Kudzu - I took/take Kudzu (herbal supplement said to ease cravings for alcohol)
Guts - The Kristen Johnston Memoir
Smashed - A recent fiction movie
(There's another documentary I just got on Itunes but I'll have to find it, its a documentary on women and alcohol.)
I also drank/drink - NA beer when I go out (that was my plan on dealing with social situations), I'd whisper to the server when people were distracted, "Can I have an NA beer, in a glass? Don't bring the bottle.'
Socially, I do a heck of a lot more lunches than anything else.
I also watched a lot of that show Intervention and reached the end of the internet on alcoholic moms, women, celebrity women, celebrities who drink drink
That's a few of my go-to's.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
For those of you who say your cravings come in waves, I wanted to mention that I read an article recently that said that women tend to abuse more drugs, drink more alcohol, smoke more cigarettes - basically satisfy more cravings/addictions - during the luteal phase of their cycles, so the 2 weeks before your get your period. I wonder how much hormones play a role in cravings...
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Evening moms...
Just thawing out with some tea after freezing my rear off at the skating rink while daughter had her lessons.
Glad tomorrow is Friday and I have a half day too....so that's nice.
How are you all doing? Applekat... I have that book too, and thought it was pretty good. I also liked the book "Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore"....read that in 2 days, and really identified with the author.
Parent/teacher conference tomorrow, but I expect all to be good there...her report card came home and it was GREAT! I chuckle because every term she gets "outstanding" in the responsibility and behavior categories. Course when she gets home, the halo gets checked at the door:-)
Well...hope everyone is having a good night.
Just thawing out with some tea after freezing my rear off at the skating rink while daughter had her lessons.
Glad tomorrow is Friday and I have a half day too....so that's nice.
How are you all doing? Applekat... I have that book too, and thought it was pretty good. I also liked the book "Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore"....read that in 2 days, and really identified with the author.
Parent/teacher conference tomorrow, but I expect all to be good there...her report card came home and it was GREAT! I chuckle because every term she gets "outstanding" in the responsibility and behavior categories. Course when she gets home, the halo gets checked at the door:-)
Well...hope everyone is having a good night.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 369
Applekat: this is exactly the bottle I have: Robot Check
Halo gets checked at the door! Ahhahahaha! Dolly I'm stealing this!
Husband is gone at work dinner. Baby went to bed early. So I made my single girl dinner- boca burger with avocado and sweet potato fries. So tired from my work trip but I can't wind down. Does that make sense? Instead, I'm attacking the weekend laundry, watching bad BravoTV....
Halo gets checked at the door! Ahhahahaha! Dolly I'm stealing this!
Husband is gone at work dinner. Baby went to bed early. So I made my single girl dinner- boca burger with avocado and sweet potato fries. So tired from my work trip but I can't wind down. Does that make sense? Instead, I'm attacking the weekend laundry, watching bad BravoTV....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 167
On dear lord... Bravo is NEVER bad tv... It is where I get my drama from since I don't have all that much on my own life these days! Life is very calm and relaxing now and I am 60 days sober tomorrow! I like many others find my trying hours to be between 4pm and 7/8pm.... After that I'm normally fine. When I would really tie one on I would wake up in the middle of the night and either take a Xanax to go back to sleep or walk the house looking for an open bottle of booze ... Man it really makes me sad to think about it now and how somehow at the time this made any sense to me at all... Disgusting to think I would mix Xanax with booze... Guess its a good think I didn't accidentally overdose, huh?? I would ALWAYS fall into the trap of feeling that I somehow "deserved" to unwind with my wine ... Now I feel I deserve to live.... I've been both a SAHM and a working one and only speakin for myself I found working outside of the home to be more challenging for me.. I would be exhausted after a busy day and to still have to keep up on laundry housework and dinner... Ugh !!!!!!.... At least being home now I can make my own schedule for the most part. I read that Caroline Knapp book and loved it and could relate to it sooook much. I would drink to escape obligations... To not feel stress... To quiet the "noise" in my head and to run away from emotional pain and sadness and loss.... I was able to trace back that my normal social drinking became alcoholic drinking about a year after my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I realized that I was losing her... She was my best friend.. Shopping partner.. My rock!!!... We talked several times daily and I just relied on her so much that when she stopped being "her" I became lost and felt untethered and kinda freaked out... Didn't know how in the hell I was gonna live my life without her.... I went to a very dark scary selfish place and was only thinking of my pain and not anyone else's. I now honor my mother by being the best mother I can be. Makes me depressed and sad sharing this and have to stop before I start crying... Hugs and good wishes to all the mommies and lovin the newcomers too!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by Applekat 
Thanks for sharing ladies! Babs and Lulu fantastic job on your time!! I'm trying to load up on herbal tea. And find some good books to read. Also got some new lavender Epsom salts. I love baths and books!
That said, any recovery related reads you would recommend? I have 'Drinking: A Love Story" so far by Caroline Knapp.
That said, any recovery related reads you would recommend? I have 'Drinking: A Love Story" so far by Caroline Knapp.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
Sissy4444 - thank you for sharing that. I am currently working outside the home and I had often blamed my career for my drinking. I work in a predominately male industry and I am the only female executive at my current job. So I would use that as an excuse - "I had to drink to fit in with the guys".
But the truth is I was drinking to "escape the guys".
Before I had my son (he just turned 2) I didn't care about the damage I was doing. I only cared that I held the appearance of a strong executive woman, taking charge in a man-driven world.
But that is all it was - an appearance. A persona I created to keep the drinking me alive.
I have entered my resignation and will be leaving my job at the end of this month. My plan is to spend the summer bonding with my son, and taking my time to truly seek out a positive work environment - even if that means I have to take a reduction in status and pay. I am fighting for my life here - not my title. Not anymore.
But the truth is I was drinking to "escape the guys".
Before I had my son (he just turned 2) I didn't care about the damage I was doing. I only cared that I held the appearance of a strong executive woman, taking charge in a man-driven world.
But that is all it was - an appearance. A persona I created to keep the drinking me alive.
I have entered my resignation and will be leaving my job at the end of this month. My plan is to spend the summer bonding with my son, and taking my time to truly seek out a positive work environment - even if that means I have to take a reduction in status and pay. I am fighting for my life here - not my title. Not anymore.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi all..,
New Star...think that wine through, as they say..."play the tape all the way to the end" what is at the end of that wine? Sorrow...that's all...simply sorrow. So not worth it.
On the other hand...the feeling you will get when you wake up Saturday still sober will be exhilarating!!! I promise!
Hang in there...we are here for you for some Friday girl talk today and tonight.
New Star...think that wine through, as they say..."play the tape all the way to the end" what is at the end of that wine? Sorrow...that's all...simply sorrow. So not worth it.
On the other hand...the feeling you will get when you wake up Saturday still sober will be exhilarating!!! I promise!
Hang in there...we are here for you for some Friday girl talk today and tonight.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
hey newstar - I hear you.... wine is calling my name, too. I agree with Dolly - play it to the end. I know that if I gave myself license to even have half a glass, my AV would grab hold of me again, and I'd likely find excuses for another drink in a few days, and it would snowball. It's a fight I never want to face again, so I have to keep it completely out of my life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Newstar- focus on the negative aspects of drinking. Like Dolly said, play the tape through. Think about how you'll feel in the morning. You've come so far and you're doing so well. If you can get through this just think of how proud of yourself you'll be and how much stronger you'll be. If you feel the urge maybe you can even hop on here and go to the chatroom or type up a storm on this forum until it passes. Because it will pass. The urges always pass. But by giving in you'll just make it harder on yourself. Believe me.
Bebetter, I definitely think alcoholism is related to hormones. In fact, just last week I was on my period and I had very strong urges. AND the last time I drank I was also on my period. In fact, I sometimes wonder if my cravings actually got worse when I got pregnant. I know that many women are able to abstain from alcohol during their pregnancy, but I don't think hormones affect each woman the exact same way. When I had to go to an outpatient rehab I remember a doctor telling me that I was in more danger of relapse because I was pregnant. He said that pregnant women tend to seek comfort. My mother was also concerned that I had a hormonal imbalance because she said I wasn't my self.
Bebetter, I definitely think alcoholism is related to hormones. In fact, just last week I was on my period and I had very strong urges. AND the last time I drank I was also on my period. In fact, I sometimes wonder if my cravings actually got worse when I got pregnant. I know that many women are able to abstain from alcohol during their pregnancy, but I don't think hormones affect each woman the exact same way. When I had to go to an outpatient rehab I remember a doctor telling me that I was in more danger of relapse because I was pregnant. He said that pregnant women tend to seek comfort. My mother was also concerned that I had a hormonal imbalance because she said I wasn't my self.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Lulu - I know so many women who are miserable during pregnancy, and I can see how that would encourage cravings. I am lucky to have feelings of elation and contentment during pregnancy like I have no other time in my life, which is probably why I always want to be pregnant...
Hubby and I are going out for a few hours alone today. We haven't had any time alone in forever, and we are really losing our connection. I thought I had a sitter lined up, but she was unable to come. I was talking to the mom of one of my daughter's classmates about it and she offered to watch the girls which was really nice, and I kept saying I felt bad taking advantage of her, and she said "tell you what, bring me a bottle of wine and we'll call it even." This is the mom who came over a few weeks ago with her kids to sled and my husband and her split a beer, which really irked me. We used to drink together (last year), but she knows I'm not drinking. Anyway, I thought it was a fair trade and made the trip to the liquor store. I feel sad. I wish I could drink like a normal person. I know this mom does not drink like a normal person, but she keeps her **** together, and as far as I know, it's not a problem between her and her husband. I just wish I didn't feel like such a freak, you know? Jealous, I guess, that I can't have my booze and keep my **** together...
Hubby and I are going out for a few hours alone today. We haven't had any time alone in forever, and we are really losing our connection. I thought I had a sitter lined up, but she was unable to come. I was talking to the mom of one of my daughter's classmates about it and she offered to watch the girls which was really nice, and I kept saying I felt bad taking advantage of her, and she said "tell you what, bring me a bottle of wine and we'll call it even." This is the mom who came over a few weeks ago with her kids to sled and my husband and her split a beer, which really irked me. We used to drink together (last year), but she knows I'm not drinking. Anyway, I thought it was a fair trade and made the trip to the liquor store. I feel sad. I wish I could drink like a normal person. I know this mom does not drink like a normal person, but she keeps her **** together, and as far as I know, it's not a problem between her and her husband. I just wish I didn't feel like such a freak, you know? Jealous, I guess, that I can't have my booze and keep my **** together...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Bebetter, I know how you feel. I've questioned many times why I can't drink like a normal person. But the funny thing is... is that normal drinkers don't care about that kind of thing. Normal drinkers probably wouldn't care if they didn't have a drink for the rest of their lives.
Also, to those functioning heavy drinkers, which is what your friend sounds like, you never really know what's going on in their lives. You say she keeps her **** together, but does she really? Do you think everyone on the outside saw that your life was crumbling around you because of drinking?
It doesn't matter anyway. It's ultimately about what YOU want and your happiness. For me, yeah, in a perfect world I'd be able to drink happily every night and not have any problems. No hangovers. No relationship issues. No work issues. Or even better, I wouldn't like alcohol in the first place. Unfortunately, for some unknown reason, I'm an alcoholic and if I don't stay away from the stuff I will ruin my own life. I didn't pick that lot, but life isn't fair.
My parents are the same way as your friend. They drink every single night. They have drank every night since I can remember. My dad had absolutely no problem drinking and driving with me in the car. Seriously, cruising down the road with a beer in his hand with children in the car. I thought it was normal. He STILL drinks like that.
Then there's me. I drink just like him, and I end up with a DUI. Then I take it to a whole new level. Justifying drinking at 11am, going to work with the shakes so bad I can't even start an IV on my patients, ruining my marriage, and putting the health of my own baby at risk. So I had to stop completely. Now every time I'm around my parents I have to sit there and watch them continue on in their lives as functional alcoholics and wonder why the hell I can't do the same.
I don't know why it's like that. I never chose this. The only thing I know is that I have a serious alcohol problem and I can either choose to let that get me down or I can choose to live my life.
Also, to those functioning heavy drinkers, which is what your friend sounds like, you never really know what's going on in their lives. You say she keeps her **** together, but does she really? Do you think everyone on the outside saw that your life was crumbling around you because of drinking?
It doesn't matter anyway. It's ultimately about what YOU want and your happiness. For me, yeah, in a perfect world I'd be able to drink happily every night and not have any problems. No hangovers. No relationship issues. No work issues. Or even better, I wouldn't like alcohol in the first place. Unfortunately, for some unknown reason, I'm an alcoholic and if I don't stay away from the stuff I will ruin my own life. I didn't pick that lot, but life isn't fair.
My parents are the same way as your friend. They drink every single night. They have drank every night since I can remember. My dad had absolutely no problem drinking and driving with me in the car. Seriously, cruising down the road with a beer in his hand with children in the car. I thought it was normal. He STILL drinks like that.
Then there's me. I drink just like him, and I end up with a DUI. Then I take it to a whole new level. Justifying drinking at 11am, going to work with the shakes so bad I can't even start an IV on my patients, ruining my marriage, and putting the health of my own baby at risk. So I had to stop completely. Now every time I'm around my parents I have to sit there and watch them continue on in their lives as functional alcoholics and wonder why the hell I can't do the same.
I don't know why it's like that. I never chose this. The only thing I know is that I have a serious alcohol problem and I can either choose to let that get me down or I can choose to live my life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi ladies,
New star, how are you doing? Stay strong, it is NOT worth it, trust me.
I think you ladies are on to something regarding the association between hormones and cravings. Looking back, it seems like I always had the worst cravings during ovulation time. That time of month is when I slipped a lot. BeBetter, I am like you - I love being pregnant and it is the only time in my life that I don't struggle with urges/cravings. Weird how that is.
Miserable weather here today. Took my daughter to a playdate earlier, but now back home and just relaxing. Talked to the Dr and my HCG level confirmed my pregnancy, but I have to go back every 48 for bloodtest to see if my levels are doubling. I'm a nervous wreck.
BeBetter, hope you and hubby had a nice afternoon together. I know exactly what you mean about feeling sad and jealous that we can't drink normally and hold our s*** together. But think about how many moms out there drink too much, think they have their s*** together, but really don't. I keep thinking about how lucky I am that I woke up and quit before something catastrophic happened.
Wishing you all a wonderful and sober weekend. Hugs to all Xxx
New star, how are you doing? Stay strong, it is NOT worth it, trust me.
I think you ladies are on to something regarding the association between hormones and cravings. Looking back, it seems like I always had the worst cravings during ovulation time. That time of month is when I slipped a lot. BeBetter, I am like you - I love being pregnant and it is the only time in my life that I don't struggle with urges/cravings. Weird how that is.
Miserable weather here today. Took my daughter to a playdate earlier, but now back home and just relaxing. Talked to the Dr and my HCG level confirmed my pregnancy, but I have to go back every 48 for bloodtest to see if my levels are doubling. I'm a nervous wreck.
BeBetter, hope you and hubby had a nice afternoon together. I know exactly what you mean about feeling sad and jealous that we can't drink normally and hold our s*** together. But think about how many moms out there drink too much, think they have their s*** together, but really don't. I keep thinking about how lucky I am that I woke up and quit before something catastrophic happened.
Wishing you all a wonderful and sober weekend. Hugs to all Xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi moms...
Went to meet my cousin and aunt today at the bar I always hung out at. I had a diet coke, but it was nice seeing my old friends. They all told me how amazing I looked, and that felt pretty good. Didn't even miss the wine:-)
On a more somber note...my brother in laws dad passed away tonight from cirrhosis of the liver. He drank heavy for years, and it finally caught up to him. He has had an awful few months in the hospital, but thankfully he passed quite peacefully tonight. It was quite amazing...for a short period of time today, there was a reflection on his hospital room wall...it was a cross! Looked like a cross of light. It faded, and a few hours later, he died. Coincidence? I think not.
Anyway...hope you are all having a nice night.
Went to meet my cousin and aunt today at the bar I always hung out at. I had a diet coke, but it was nice seeing my old friends. They all told me how amazing I looked, and that felt pretty good. Didn't even miss the wine:-)
On a more somber note...my brother in laws dad passed away tonight from cirrhosis of the liver. He drank heavy for years, and it finally caught up to him. He has had an awful few months in the hospital, but thankfully he passed quite peacefully tonight. It was quite amazing...for a short period of time today, there was a reflection on his hospital room wall...it was a cross! Looked like a cross of light. It faded, and a few hours later, he died. Coincidence? I think not.
Anyway...hope you are all having a nice night.
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