Sissy4444 - thank you for sharing that. I am currently working outside the home and I had often blamed my career for my drinking. I work in a predominately male industry and I am the only female executive at my current job. So I would use that as an excuse - "I had to drink to fit in with the guys".
But the truth is I was drinking to "escape the guys".
Before I had my son (he just turned 2) I didn't care about the damage I was doing. I only cared that I held the appearance of a strong executive woman, taking charge in a man-driven world.
But that is all it was - an appearance. A persona I created to keep the drinking me alive.
I have entered my resignation and will be leaving my job at the end of this month. My plan is to spend the summer bonding with my son, and taking my time to truly seek out a positive work environment - even if that means I have to take a reduction in status and pay. I am fighting for my life here - not my title. Not anymore.