Class of April 2013 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Good morning April group!
On day 2 here. It took me awhile but I read through the entire thread last night and I've gotten to know some of you better and I can tell I have a lot to learn from everyone.
HopeSho & Ladybug, I'm here for my little ones too. Two toddler boys. They deserve a sober mom. I was lucky enough to grow up in a sober household and I want that for my boys more than anything. My dad recovered before I was born and my mom was smart enough to never pick up. She saw the damage it did to her own family growing up and wanted nothing to do with it.
Wishing everyone a happy and sober day -- you're all doing great!
On day 2 here. It took me awhile but I read through the entire thread last night and I've gotten to know some of you better and I can tell I have a lot to learn from everyone.
HopeSho & Ladybug, I'm here for my little ones too. Two toddler boys. They deserve a sober mom. I was lucky enough to grow up in a sober household and I want that for my boys more than anything. My dad recovered before I was born and my mom was smart enough to never pick up. She saw the damage it did to her own family growing up and wanted nothing to do with it.
Wishing everyone a happy and sober day -- you're all doing great!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 458
Well done Sky reaching day 9 and you sound so full of life, enjoy your run.
Triky it's good to be prepared to lock down that beast
Duffster like you and other here I am a mum of two and really need to get my act together for them, they deserve so much more and most of my issues I have to deal with are a result of my childhood.
I have spent all day reading here, and looking over my previous post I can now see my relapse was on it's way and I allowed it to happen about two weeks before I took that first drink. I think it was having to live in the real world and try to remain sober, was all to much. It was easier when I was locked away in my own home, but as soon as I had to get out there and start living I struggled and that being my downfall I pray is my strengh to move forward.
xxx
Triky it's good to be prepared to lock down that beast
Duffster like you and other here I am a mum of two and really need to get my act together for them, they deserve so much more and most of my issues I have to deal with are a result of my childhood.
I have spent all day reading here, and looking over my previous post I can now see my relapse was on it's way and I allowed it to happen about two weeks before I took that first drink. I think it was having to live in the real world and try to remain sober, was all to much. It was easier when I was locked away in my own home, but as soon as I had to get out there and start living I struggled and that being my downfall I pray is my strengh to move forward.
xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Good morning friends,
Starting Day 10 here, yay, my record for this year Dropping my daughter off at pre-school and then to the gym and then the dreaded Drs appt. Today is my husbands 39th BD so I hope I can make it a nice day for him. (Tuesdays are trigger days since my daughter is in school). Will check in later. Hope you all have a wonderful and sober Tuesday!
Starting Day 10 here, yay, my record for this year
Dropping my daughter off at pre-school and then to the gym and then the dreaded Drs appt. Today is my husbands 39th BD so I hope I can make it a nice day for him. (Tuesdays are trigger days since my daughter is in school). Will check in later. Hope you all have a wonderful and sober Tuesday!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Dorris, I think that happened to me too. I was able to hold on for two months but the real world got me too. I post on March too and a wise member told me that at some point we have to learn how to deal in the outside world - but it takes time. It's all still so new for us. At least we both have two incredible motivators
Good luck at the dr., LadyBug!! Stay strong today and keep us posted...
Good luck at the dr., LadyBug!! Stay strong today and keep us posted...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 141
Day 19 - I feel like the bottom of a shoe today. Yesterday was such a surreal day. We cleaned the house in the morning and thought of going into Boston to the Museum of Science but decided between the Sox game and the Marathon, to avoid the city and to go biking instead with the kids. The kids were obnoxious on the bike ride complaining the entire 1.5 miles back of a 3 mile out and back. Crying refusing to peddle, etc. etc. I so desperately wanted to escape it wasn't funny. So I poured myself a soda and went to sit out in the screen porch with a book to defuse.
I was choosing to ignore the first calls from my aunt and my mother that had just rolled in on caller ID because I was frazzled and needed a break. Then my husband's cell phone starts ringing with my mother calling and my phone is going crazy too. I just couldn't figure out why people wouldn't leave us alone, and I then started fearing that my grandmother had passed away so my husband immediately answered when my mom called him. My husband talks to my mother wide eyed, and then flips on the TV. We then start hours of watching the news coverage of the Marathon, trying to check in on all of our running friends and spectator friends that were in/at the event. It was just so overwhelming. I was already so numb I almost didn't want a drink. It surely made me feel like a turd for being stressed over whiney kids earlier.
Anyway, I am laying low right now. Trying to regroup. I am just spent from yesterday. I can't quite get a handle on it all. Fortunately, everyone we know and love has checked in now. THANK GOODNESS for Facebook!
Today is a running day for me, and I want to go out mentally to show solidarity, to say screw you to terror, to stick with my exercise schedule, etc. etc. But right now, I can barely sit here and drink my coffee. Maybe I'll take a nap first. I just don't know what to do right now. The whole thing doesn't even involve me, and yet I feel like it's completely sucked my life force. I had to go out and sit on the driveway when I first heard yesterday to shield my kids from my meltdown. I just really can't believe it.
Have a great day Bandicoots!
I was choosing to ignore the first calls from my aunt and my mother that had just rolled in on caller ID because I was frazzled and needed a break. Then my husband's cell phone starts ringing with my mother calling and my phone is going crazy too. I just couldn't figure out why people wouldn't leave us alone, and I then started fearing that my grandmother had passed away so my husband immediately answered when my mom called him. My husband talks to my mother wide eyed, and then flips on the TV. We then start hours of watching the news coverage of the Marathon, trying to check in on all of our running friends and spectator friends that were in/at the event. It was just so overwhelming. I was already so numb I almost didn't want a drink. It surely made me feel like a turd for being stressed over whiney kids earlier.
Anyway, I am laying low right now. Trying to regroup. I am just spent from yesterday. I can't quite get a handle on it all. Fortunately, everyone we know and love has checked in now. THANK GOODNESS for Facebook!
Today is a running day for me, and I want to go out mentally to show solidarity, to say screw you to terror, to stick with my exercise schedule, etc. etc. But right now, I can barely sit here and drink my coffee. Maybe I'll take a nap first. I just don't know what to do right now. The whole thing doesn't even involve me, and yet I feel like it's completely sucked my life force. I had to go out and sit on the driveway when I first heard yesterday to shield my kids from my meltdown. I just really can't believe it.
Have a great day Bandicoots!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 57
Day 16. Not sure why but the beginning of the week has been harder for me than the weekend. Maybe because I was prepared for the fight this weekend and I let my guard down the past two days. I'm still sober and plan on staying that way.
I hope everyone is doing well today. Thanks to all of you and your stories. It really helps to see other people going through the same struggles.
I hope everyone is doing well today. Thanks to all of you and your stories. It really helps to see other people going through the same struggles.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Coleman Wisconsin
Posts: 52
Bandicoots!
See, I read 
Anyway, feeling better this morning. Sorry for my rant last night. I did NOT sleep well, but I feel fine. I have to go to work later, but I am NOT going to fall into old habits. I am beginning day 3, I know I have a long way to go, but I am not looking at it like that anymore. I am looking at my life as being sober and how good I feel waking up without a hangover. Even if I didn't sleep well I still feel better than I did when having had some drinks. I just keep telling myself I can do this when the thought comes into my mind. Funny how when you are trying to quit, it's all you think about...not that I WANT a drink, I think about staying sober...I guess it's like a diet. When you are on a diet all you think about is food!
Anyway, feeling better this morning. Sorry for my rant last night. I did NOT sleep well, but I feel fine. I have to go to work later, but I am NOT going to fall into old habits. I am beginning day 3, I know I have a long way to go, but I am not looking at it like that anymore. I am looking at my life as being sober and how good I feel waking up without a hangover. Even if I didn't sleep well I still feel better than I did when having had some drinks. I just keep telling myself I can do this when the thought comes into my mind. Funny how when you are trying to quit, it's all you think about...not that I WANT a drink, I think about staying sober...I guess it's like a diet. When you are on a diet all you think about is food!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Olde England
Posts: 528
Glad you're all safe MLC, I wonder who's behind it?
Managed to pick myself up a £40 parking ticket in London, I swear if you did an HD slow mo video comparison between a striking rattler and a London Parking Enforcement Officer the rattler would prove to be a good few hundredths of a second slower off the mark, w@**ers.
Will be working far too late to drink again and am up early tomorrow too - just need to keep a close eye on HALT at the end of the week as I'm going to be pretty run down - and keep surfing them urges!
Stay strong all
Managed to pick myself up a £40 parking ticket in London, I swear if you did an HD slow mo video comparison between a striking rattler and a London Parking Enforcement Officer the rattler would prove to be a good few hundredths of a second slower off the mark, w@**ers.
Will be working far too late to drink again and am up early tomorrow too - just need to keep a close eye on HALT at the end of the week as I'm going to be pretty run down - and keep surfing them urges!
Stay strong all
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Coleman Wisconsin
Posts: 52
[QUOTE=ScoutBall;3908594]
I think so far that's been my biggest issue, is coming to terms with that I am not normal--and that once game night is over, the boozing continues. Would be sweet if I could do just a few beers on game night, but myself and everyone reading this knows that isn't possible for me.
This is such a huge issue for me as well. Can't do anything with friends because they all drink. But they can do it and leave it alone. The other day we were talking about doing something for all of our April birthday's and I said, can we do something that doesn't involve drinking? And they all looked at me like I was crazy. Mind you, I haven't told any of them that I am an alcoholic. I don't want to be singled out...I'm not ready for that yet. I want to choose to single myself out...make sense?
I think so far that's been my biggest issue, is coming to terms with that I am not normal--and that once game night is over, the boozing continues. Would be sweet if I could do just a few beers on game night, but myself and everyone reading this knows that isn't possible for me.
This is such a huge issue for me as well. Can't do anything with friends because they all drink. But they can do it and leave it alone. The other day we were talking about doing something for all of our April birthday's and I said, can we do something that doesn't involve drinking? And they all looked at me like I was crazy. Mind you, I haven't told any of them that I am an alcoholic. I don't want to be singled out...I'm not ready for that yet. I want to choose to single myself out...make sense?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Coleman Wisconsin
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Duffster 
Dorris, I think that happened to me too. I was able to hold on for two months but the real world got me too. I post on March too and a wise member told me that at some point we have to learn how to deal in the outside world - but it takes time. It's all still so new for us. At least we both have two incredible motivators
Good luck at the dr., LadyBug!! Stay strong today and keep us posted...
Good luck at the dr., LadyBug!! Stay strong today and keep us posted...
Good luck at the doc, LadyBug!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Oh wow, MLC! Of course you're a wreck from yesterday. It happened in your backyard. I still can't believe it. Nothing we can really do except soldier on, keep running and, most importantly, stay sober. So glad you and yours are all safe.
mmhoule, stay strong. You're not in an easy position working around booze. I wish I could give you some good advice but I don't really have any. Only to remember how crappy it makes you feel. Still not feeling so great after 2 days and my anxiety came back in full force. It's just not worth it.
mmhoule, stay strong. You're not in an easy position working around booze. I wish I could give you some good advice but I don't really have any. Only to remember how crappy it makes you feel. Still not feeling so great after 2 days and my anxiety came back in full force. It's just not worth it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Hello Everybody... REALLY quick checkin before I leave in five minutes for work.
MLC... Hope your run today was cathartic and that you're in a good place right now after yesterday. I found out about what happened when I got out of my car yesterday and my neighbor came running out of the house to ask if I'd heard from my daughter. My heart dropped right then and there. When he told me what happened, I was able to tell him my daughter had just left Boston late Sunday night/early a.m.. Many of her friends were there watching, and all are accounted for too. Feeling blessed and so incredibly sad. Praying big time for the victims, their families, and friends.
Good luck at the doctor's today, LadyBug. Will be thinking of you! Happy birthday to your husband, and HANG IN THERE on this trigger Tuesday. You're doing so well and you deserve some happiness.
Hugs.
Will try to read/post some more tonight. Will be thinking of ALL of you today!!!!
MLC... Hope your run today was cathartic and that you're in a good place right now after yesterday. I found out about what happened when I got out of my car yesterday and my neighbor came running out of the house to ask if I'd heard from my daughter. My heart dropped right then and there. When he told me what happened, I was able to tell him my daughter had just left Boston late Sunday night/early a.m.. Many of her friends were there watching, and all are accounted for too. Feeling blessed and so incredibly sad. Praying big time for the victims, their families, and friends.
Good luck at the doctor's today, LadyBug. Will be thinking of you! Happy birthday to your husband, and HANG IN THERE on this trigger Tuesday. You're doing so well and you deserve some happiness.
Hugs.
Will try to read/post some more tonight. Will be thinking of ALL of you today!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Northeast
Posts: 441
MLC, good job at defusing yourself!
I am making progress at bettering my life each day sober, as I hope all of you are. Things do clear up as we distance ourselves from drinking that poison and living up to what we a truly capable of.
I started a book called Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser yesterday, and its amazing so far. I relate to so much in terms of sobriety. If anyone else wants to read it I'd love to discuss. I wanted to share this part from the book, pg 19, that really struck a chord with me in relation to recovery:
"The journey from Once-born to Twice-born brings us to a crossroads where the old ways of doing things is no longer working but a better way lies somewhere at the far edge of the woods. We are afraid to step into those woods but even more afaraid to turn back. To turn back is one kind of death; to go forward is another. The first kind of death ends in ashes; the second leads toward rebirth. For some of us, the day arrives when we step willingly into the woods. A longing to wake up, to feel more alive, to feel something spurs us beyond our fear. Some of us resist like hell until the forces of fate deliver a crisis. Some of us get sick and tired of filling an inner emptiness with drugs or drink or food, and we turn and face our real hunger: our soul hunger. Twice-born people trade the safety of the known for the power of the unknown. Something calls them into the woods, where the straight path vanishes, and there is no turning back, only going through. This is not easy. It is not a made-up fairy tale. It is very real and very difficult. To face our shadow-the dragons and hags that we have spent a lifetime running away from-is perhaps the most difficult journey we will ever take. But it is there, in the shadows, that we retrieve our hidden parts, learn our lessons, and give birth to the wise and mature self."
I am making progress at bettering my life each day sober, as I hope all of you are. Things do clear up as we distance ourselves from drinking that poison and living up to what we a truly capable of.
I started a book called Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser yesterday, and its amazing so far. I relate to so much in terms of sobriety. If anyone else wants to read it I'd love to discuss. I wanted to share this part from the book, pg 19, that really struck a chord with me in relation to recovery:
"The journey from Once-born to Twice-born brings us to a crossroads where the old ways of doing things is no longer working but a better way lies somewhere at the far edge of the woods. We are afraid to step into those woods but even more afaraid to turn back. To turn back is one kind of death; to go forward is another. The first kind of death ends in ashes; the second leads toward rebirth. For some of us, the day arrives when we step willingly into the woods. A longing to wake up, to feel more alive, to feel something spurs us beyond our fear. Some of us resist like hell until the forces of fate deliver a crisis. Some of us get sick and tired of filling an inner emptiness with drugs or drink or food, and we turn and face our real hunger: our soul hunger. Twice-born people trade the safety of the known for the power of the unknown. Something calls them into the woods, where the straight path vanishes, and there is no turning back, only going through. This is not easy. It is not a made-up fairy tale. It is very real and very difficult. To face our shadow-the dragons and hags that we have spent a lifetime running away from-is perhaps the most difficult journey we will ever take. But it is there, in the shadows, that we retrieve our hidden parts, learn our lessons, and give birth to the wise and mature self."
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 458
Such sad news what happened in Boston and it is understandable you would take the news to heart and be affected MLC with it being so close to home and there being people there you love and care for at scene. Your doing so well and it would have been all to easy to pour yourself a drink.
I have never been much of a reader and I can't remember the last time I ever finished a book but today I have read two and disappointed with them both. They were only cheap kindle books with very little to read about and nothing to take from them, but it passed the time of day.
xxx
I have never been much of a reader and I can't remember the last time I ever finished a book but today I have read two and disappointed with them both. They were only cheap kindle books with very little to read about and nothing to take from them, but it passed the time of day.
xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 76
Day 7 for me. As my 12 year old said, "That's a record for you." Indeed it is son.
My AV is kinda quiet, but my emotions are loud. I've realized that a trigger for me is when the kids come home from school and also when my husband is out of town on business. I've been kidding myself when I've said that my drinking was just a habit and that I was only doing it because I was bored.
Last year we moved across the country for my husband's work. I work at home so I haven't met anybody here. It would be nice to make friends. Without drinking, what are we going to do? Play with our new bibles and quote scripture? Wait, there's my AV buddy.
My AV is kinda quiet, but my emotions are loud. I've realized that a trigger for me is when the kids come home from school and also when my husband is out of town on business. I've been kidding myself when I've said that my drinking was just a habit and that I was only doing it because I was bored.
Last year we moved across the country for my husband's work. I work at home so I haven't met anybody here. It would be nice to make friends. Without drinking, what are we going to do? Play with our new bibles and quote scripture? Wait, there's my AV buddy.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 39
Hi Bandicoots! Day 9 for me and so far so good. I am usually have no cravings during the workday, and since I have 8 days under my belt, I haven't been hung over, so have actually been much more productive at work!
My trigger times are from about 6pm when I get home, until about 10, when my hubby gets home. All my damage used to happen between those hours, so I try to stay really busy then.
Wilde...you posted yesterday about your ADHD child. My 11 yo is very ADHD and one of my main drinking excuses was because I was stressed out and worried about him. I never realized until recently, that I was stressing HIM out terribly. I used to yell at him so loud, I'm sure our neighbors wonder what is going on. I apologized to him the other day, and he was so sweet. I have to keep that picture of him in my mind for when my AV starts nagging!
My trigger times are from about 6pm when I get home, until about 10, when my hubby gets home. All my damage used to happen between those hours, so I try to stay really busy then.
Wilde...you posted yesterday about your ADHD child. My 11 yo is very ADHD and one of my main drinking excuses was because I was stressed out and worried about him. I never realized until recently, that I was stressing HIM out terribly. I used to yell at him so loud, I'm sure our neighbors wonder what is going on. I apologized to him the other day, and he was so sweet. I have to keep that picture of him in my mind for when my AV starts nagging!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Coleman Wisconsin
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Beavis
Day 7 for me. As my 12 year old said, "That's a record for you." Indeed it is son.
My AV is kinda quiet, but my emotions are loud. I've realized that a trigger for me is when the kids come home from school and also when my husband is out of town on business. I've been kidding myself when I've said that my drinking was just a habit and that I was only doing it because I was bored.
Last year we moved across the country for my husband's work. I work at home so I haven't met anybody here. It would be nice to make friends. Without drinking, what are we going to do? Play with our new bibles and quote scripture? Wait, there's my AV buddy.
My AV is kinda quiet, but my emotions are loud. I've realized that a trigger for me is when the kids come home from school and also when my husband is out of town on business. I've been kidding myself when I've said that my drinking was just a habit and that I was only doing it because I was bored.
Last year we moved across the country for my husband's work. I work at home so I haven't met anybody here. It would be nice to make friends. Without drinking, what are we going to do? Play with our new bibles and quote scripture? Wait, there's my AV buddy.
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