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Class of April 2013 Part 2 |
Tuesday. My "NerdFest" day. The blokes are all slowly getting online as their work days end. Most, if not all are havin' drinks, beers, or what have you. A few will get pretty tipsy, and will prolly feel like Hell in the morning. I really want to join them. Not the feel like Hell part...but the just have a beer like a normal person part. Gah. I think so far that's been my biggest issue, is coming to terms with that I am not normal--and that once game night is over, the boozing continues. Would be sweet if I could do just a few beers on game night, but myself and everyone reading this knows that isn't possible for me. Lament. Lament. Lament. I am seeing that good ol' NerdFest may be a "trigger". Although I could perhaps turn it on its head, and use it as another way to continue to be vigilant. Ugh. Drinking sucks, but so does not drinking right now. I will not drink tonight. Thanks guys for bein' there. -Scoutie |
You will discover how to relax unwind and interact like a normal person, without the beer Scoutie... Give it time...none of us would stay in recovery if it was torment :) D |
Thanks Dee! And.... I'm the first poster if I can type quickly enough. haha Just checking in before the cold meds kick in to suppress the cough and I can fall into bed. Hopefully, there will be no day 5 of fever! Sick of this nonsense. Hoping to have more time to post and connect with folks soon. I do read, think and pray for you all often. Thankful for this "class." Looking forward to day 8. Good night! |
Just saw your post, Scoutie, and you beat me to the first post of the new thread after all! Just wanted to encourage you to stay the course before i sign off. You sound like you're struggling a bit, but try to focus on the great strides you've made. WOW!!! :You_Rock_ |
You need to be lightnin' fast NL lol D |
This is true, Dee. I am all hopped up on Coca-Cola... Got those fast twitchy fingers goin' from game night too. ;) |
Welcome back Dee!!! We missed ya. |
Hi there everyone, well waking up day 7 & actually feeling ok, chest hurts (cough) & runny nose but not so bad and body aches seem to have gone. I managed a full nights sleep with no sweating which was a nice change for not just me but im guessing my hubby who didnt have to wake up in a wet sweaty bed!! Gross eh? Poor man. So yesterday I had a kind of real massive 'everything hits home moment' it will maybe sound a bit silly but im going to be honest & tell you as I think some of the other women will probs relate! So yesterday I decided to clean the whole house (I was feeling pretty good in the afternoon) so I was in our good lounge cleaning. Now i rarely go in there coz we have a family room / den that we tend to use for watching tele etc. My 14 year old daughter has been mostly doing the cleaning for pocket money so other than walking through it, I dont spend time in there. The sun was shining through the patio doors so I sat down on the sofa to take 5. And I looked up above the fire place at our enormous 45" black & white photo on canvas, which I havnt noticed or looked at in years of us on our wedding day. I was dumbstruck, I just looked at it thinking who is that beautiful woman & where is that happy laughing woman. I went & looked at myself in the mirror, properly, and thought 'what the ...' My blonde hair is greasy with roots to my ears, I dont recall when I last had my highlights done, im kind of puffy looking, I cant remember the last time I had a manicure or pedicure (Ladybug2!!) im wearing filthy looking jogging bottoms & vest top, which iv been living in for months, my skin is dry, my eyebrows need waxing, in short I look like S**T. So what does any rational woman do? I ring my poor hubby at work to shout at him & ask him why he hadnt told me I'd let myself go!!! Because of course its his fault!! When I had stopped wailing & repeatedly asking him if he still loved me & fancied me (ahhhhh) to which he of course told me to stop being silly, I decided I had better try and do something and got the local phone book out. So Its a good job im not feeling too bad today as I have a day filled up with hair and beauty appointments. We cant really afford it at the moment (we have serious financial problems) but hubby said he agrees I should have a treat for reaching day 7 and it will make me feel better & stronger for going on. Regarding our financial problems, now my head is clearing I need to start making some decisions about the future, my job and where to go from here. Iv been on forced sick leave from my main job, but they had agreed I could go back this week or next, I dont feel ready, so I'm asking for a little longer. This doesnt help our financial situation but we have agreed that at this stage of my recovery being in the hospital aound drugs/opiates all day is nothing short of sobriety suicide. Iv managed to hang on to my little part time job which i do just 2 mornings a week at an obgyn's private clinic, this I can cope with. So the plan for today is to get with the programme & make myself look respectable, ring our estate agent to find out if we are still having open house this weekend (we have to sell our house, Good Lord what a mess I have got us in) speak to my work regarding not coming back yet & speak to my insurance company regarding who they would recommend on a list of therapists I have in our area. Busy Busy day! I hope everyone else is either waking up or going to bed feeling ok. Janiebluebird my heart goes out to you & prayers & blessings to you & all your friends & family. Ladybug2 well done yesterday, hope you enjoyed that pedicure ;) Newleaf hope that cough isnt too bad, Iv had cough & fever too so know how your feeling, day 5 was particularly bad, day 7 today is looking pretty ok, so hang in there x Wishing everyone love & sober blessings this Spring day xx |
I look like an exploded sofa Fruity so you're probably doing better than me ;) have a good day everyone :) D |
Day 6 for me..still feeling extremely low and struggling big time but I am not going to drink today. One day at a time right |
Take it easy on yourself fruity. If your husband says he still fancies you, then I believe him. We're still early in the process! I've felt I'm a bit puffy, and not as ruggedly handsome as I used to think I was. I'm not about to go all crazy and get a mani/pedi...but...hey! We're not drinking and as we all know: That'll make someone not as attractive in a hurry. ;) Janie: I've just read. I'm so sorry. We're all here for you. You are in my thoughts. NewLeaf: Your avatar was the kick in the pants I needed. Hard to have thoughts about having a drink while feeling sorry for yourself lookin' at a mug like that. Thanks. Your timing was impeccable. NerdFest 'Tuesday was a resounding success. Much gaming was done, many enemies vanquished, and I even was able to stay up late enough to catch my brother, which is a rarity since we live across the Globe from each other. Was a lot of fun! (Despite the eye rolling from my wife and her friends. Stoopid girlz). I hope all are well, and are bright eyed and bushy tailed for work, or sleepy, and heavy-lidded. Onward Bandicoots! |
Clean and enjoying it one day at a time . God bless all |
After one week of being sober, I had five glasses of wine yesterday evening. Thankfully I had some wonderful support here, managed to stop before I blacked out (which I haven't been able to do in a long while), got myself into bed and didn't miss my plane this morning. Feeling very disappointed in myself, but this day would have been completely unbearable without SR, I am so grateful to have found this place. Day one again... I really hope this is my last hangover. |
Just want to say a quick "hello" before beginning an insanely packed day. Not sure, yet, how I'm going to fare feeling this way but at least I know it's not because I drank too much last night! Scoutie... glad the avatar helped! Sometimes I get to feeling really low and start questioning myself, my purpose and life in general to the point I'm going 'round in circles. By the end of the day, I most often find myself not having accomplished anything and throwing the towel in on myself. That's why I drink. THIS TIME, though, we both can break that cycle. Reinvention is a wonderful think, and with your creativity you can go far. Hang in there!!! BELIEVE, Mark. Sounds like you're taking that demon to task... setting a good foundation with that affirmation. Hope your day's a good one and you can build on it. Dee: exploded sofa bwahahaha My kids LOVE my "arm pillows" because they're so comfy. At one point when I lost weight, one of them was kinda bummed I'd lost it! Oh fruity... THIS COLD/FLU (whatever you call it) is the worst. I'm so happy we're sober through it, though. Can you imagine how much better we'll feel once we're sober and WELL? Hang in there, take care of yourself and focus on the beauty inside. It's there... I/we can see it. I'm praying for you, your cousin and his little one janiebb. I've known two people who've lost loved ones to suicide and almost lost my son to it, myself. Also praying that sobriety gives you strength to deal with the pain and help him work through this. And although it may be tempting, don't let the booze use grief to bring YOU down. Sending virtual hugs.... Well - now I may be late. Take care, friends. |
Originally Posted by Sobreia
(Post 3909084)
After one week of being sober, I had five glasses of wine yesterday evening. Thankfully I had some wonderful support here, managed to stop before I blacked out (which I haven't been able to do in a long while), got myself into bed and didn't miss my plane this morning. Feeling very disappointed in myself, but this day would have been completely unbearable without SR, I am so grateful to have found this place. Day one again... I really hope this is my last hangover. Could have written this myself ... a gazillion times. You CAN beat this. So can I. Baby steps lead to bigger ones and coming back right away is HUGE. Glad we're here together, Sobreia. Another day of looking forward and not behind. One day at a time. |
Hi Scout! Game night gives me the urge to drink too. I had game night with my brothers last night, they came over to my apartment and we all LAN'd. They drank beer, but I didn't. Once the gaming starts, any thoughts of drinking are gone. I find I do better sober, anyway. We play League of Legends and we owned many foes last night. :) :D I assure you, nerdfests can and will continue without alcohol. It's inevitable. |
Originally Posted by NewLeaf
(Post 3909151)
Could have written this myself ... a gazillion times. You CAN beat this. So can I. Baby steps lead to bigger ones and coming back right away is HUGE. Glad we're here together, Sobreia. Another day of looking forward and not behind. One day at a time. |
Good morning April friends, starting another Day 4. I always feel really good on Day 4 and think, in the past, that is why I have let my "guard" down? How quickly we forget the miseries of Day 1, 2.... Fruity, I can totally relate to your post. I looked in the mirror last week and saw more wrinkles, bloated face, dark circles and all of a sudden realized that drinking is aging me very quickly. I've always been told I look very young for my age, thanks to good genes, however, I feel like that is no longer the case, thanks to the alcohol. Go and get pampered today. You will feel much better! Sobreia, I, too, have been in our shoes many times. Not sure if I could have stopped at 5 glasses of wine, probably would have continued to my usual 8 so good job on stopping yourself. Stay strong everyone, I know it may be a challenging day for me so am going to try and stay busy, away from home. |
good morning, day10 begins. its been a while since I reached the double digits. Sobreia, don't beat yourself up. use this as a learning experience. been there and all those times I felt guilty and beat myself up , those were the times I didnt try as hard the next time around. the other times, the times I looked back and learned why I did what I did, I did much better. still as you can see I am only on day 10 so I am no expert. I am very happy you are back and already climbing back on that wild horse. Proud of you, stay strong. |
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