Class of March 2012 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,068
I'm here! 
Thanks for pulling back in ladies. I shouldn't have isolated myself but hey I never was great at taking my own advice.
Still here and still sober but unfortunately still a little low.
Will get a proper catch up soon. Off to read some posts.
x
Thanks for pulling back in ladies. I shouldn't have isolated myself but hey I never was great at taking my own advice.Still here and still sober but unfortunately still a little low.
Will get a proper catch up soon. Off to read some posts.
x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I've never been very good at taking my own advice either. It's hard to pull yourself up when you're down there Nicky so I understand how you feel. Are you prone to bouts of depression anyway or is something new? Anything you can pin it on or is it just a random low mood x Hope you start feeling better soon. How's the weather near you? It's glorious here. Maybe getting out for a walk would help. That's always helped me when I have been anxious. But the motivation to get out the door isn't always readily available. Take care of yourself xxx
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Hello Ladies,
All the other guys seem to have jumped ship for the time being, so I get all of you lovelies to myself I guess. Well myself and Dee
.
I am still plugging along. I am starting to realize even more how many bad habits I have that were not a direct result of my drinking but were definitely aggravated and exaggerated by it. Procrastination, is the biggest one, in many many ways. Not sleeping, using computer games to escape from life and delay facing any actions until the last possible moment. All that adds up to most of my spare time wasted in foolish pointless endeavors. But I am trying to force myself not to focus on what I didn't do, and instead on what I did. I find that in doing that I am encouraging myself into more action rather than discouraging inaction. I know that logically one could argue that there isn't much of a difference in the two, but that isn't important. What is important is, positive versus negative. Discouraging inaction for me means that I beat myself up and say "look at all the things you were going to do but didn't." Encouraging action is so far kind of a retort to those thoughts of "yeah but I did do this and this, that is at least something." Also I keep in mind that were I drinking I wouldn't even have done the minimum, I would have seemed from an outside perspective to willfully be fighting my way backwards. So a few steps forward, are very good things, especially compared to backwards or not at all. As my sponsor says on occasion, "the difference between no action and any amount at all is so huge it is immeasurable, there is no comparison. Even seemingly minuscule if done when there was none taking place beforehand.
And I am standing on a soapbox as I like to do here sometimes. Oh, another quote that jumped out at me from a wise man in the rooms "planning to fail and not doing so does not equate to success." He was saying that is what he did a lot during his drinking, planning on failing at whatever and somehow squeaking by, then calling that success. One is not the other.
Anyhow, I am doing alright. I have started school, which means my days are a heck of a lot fuller, this first three months are supposed to be the hardest, lots of math, and it is thrown at you really really fast. Three days we have gone from the basics of negative numbers, fractions, scientific notation, and the basic verbiage of algebra, to factoring and balancing equations to solve for a one of the variables. It is a lot to cram in in just a couple of days. I took all of this in high school of course but that was more than a decade ago lol. Some of it is coming back to me.
That is going to be my life for the next couple of months, here in a week I think we will get into the basics of Direct Current electricity, then after that Alternating. its going to be a pain in the cerebrum lol. I will work in meetings when I can but I have already informed my home group that they might be seeing a little less of me for a while.
Also my one sometimes hangout buddy from the meeting is moving which is going to suck. While I don't think I need someone to talk to and distract me as badly as I used to when I was first going to the rooms, it has been a long time since I had myself someone I would call a friend, and I am going to miss having someone to say "whats up, you want to get some coffee?" to.
Oh yeah and its hot as hades here already. We have already had 110 degree days, last week. I hate the heat, and would rather deal with the cold. If its cold you can always put more clothes on, or do something that will warm you up. If its hot there is only so much you can take off before you get arrested lol.
Well that is me for this week. How are all of you doing?
@ Cale, you probably know this, but I find what helps me in a funk (as I have my own fair share of those moments) is to do something, anything, anything at all. I know that in the moment I wont want to do anything, and I will just want to sit and stew in my thoughts and pity. But if I can get myself to do something, then I don't really feel better per say, but I kinda forget about feeling so $hity, if that makes any sense. Especially if I can manage to do something actually productive for my life or sobriety, then before I know it I am kinda out of the funk. I will have a moment sometimes when it suddenly occurs to me that I am not feeling like complete crap anymore. I can't always pull it off but when I do I feel a heck of a lot better. I also figure it is like practicing an instrument or martial art, what they call muscle memory, or at least something like it, maybe when I am in that funk I can do something that makes me feel better, or at least forget to feel bad, often enough that eventually I don't even have to think about it. I just start to feel a smidgen bad and I immediately do it and feel better, skipping more of the bad feeling entirely.
My main thing to combat is a feeling of pointlessness, if life over all. I will literaly sit in my car after getting home from work uncomfortable because it is hot and I want to get out of my work uniform, but I will just sit there because "what is the point of anything". I try to avoid staying there to long if I can, and haven't been there in a while, (for me a while is a couple of weeks). I don't know if that helps at all, but I know how it is to be in a funk and how there doesn't seem any way out of it at the time. Weird how it is like drinking that way, you can't see a way out until you have already started heading towards it.
Wow that was a ramble, sorry if that was annoying, I am just awake and bored at midnight, and there wasn't anyone in the chatroom lol.
All the other guys seem to have jumped ship for the time being, so I get all of you lovelies to myself I guess. Well myself and Dee
.I am still plugging along. I am starting to realize even more how many bad habits I have that were not a direct result of my drinking but were definitely aggravated and exaggerated by it. Procrastination, is the biggest one, in many many ways. Not sleeping, using computer games to escape from life and delay facing any actions until the last possible moment. All that adds up to most of my spare time wasted in foolish pointless endeavors. But I am trying to force myself not to focus on what I didn't do, and instead on what I did. I find that in doing that I am encouraging myself into more action rather than discouraging inaction. I know that logically one could argue that there isn't much of a difference in the two, but that isn't important. What is important is, positive versus negative. Discouraging inaction for me means that I beat myself up and say "look at all the things you were going to do but didn't." Encouraging action is so far kind of a retort to those thoughts of "yeah but I did do this and this, that is at least something." Also I keep in mind that were I drinking I wouldn't even have done the minimum, I would have seemed from an outside perspective to willfully be fighting my way backwards. So a few steps forward, are very good things, especially compared to backwards or not at all. As my sponsor says on occasion, "the difference between no action and any amount at all is so huge it is immeasurable, there is no comparison. Even seemingly minuscule if done when there was none taking place beforehand.
And I am standing on a soapbox as I like to do here sometimes. Oh, another quote that jumped out at me from a wise man in the rooms "planning to fail and not doing so does not equate to success." He was saying that is what he did a lot during his drinking, planning on failing at whatever and somehow squeaking by, then calling that success. One is not the other.
Anyhow, I am doing alright. I have started school, which means my days are a heck of a lot fuller, this first three months are supposed to be the hardest, lots of math, and it is thrown at you really really fast. Three days we have gone from the basics of negative numbers, fractions, scientific notation, and the basic verbiage of algebra, to factoring and balancing equations to solve for a one of the variables. It is a lot to cram in in just a couple of days. I took all of this in high school of course but that was more than a decade ago lol. Some of it is coming back to me.
That is going to be my life for the next couple of months, here in a week I think we will get into the basics of Direct Current electricity, then after that Alternating. its going to be a pain in the cerebrum lol. I will work in meetings when I can but I have already informed my home group that they might be seeing a little less of me for a while.
Also my one sometimes hangout buddy from the meeting is moving which is going to suck. While I don't think I need someone to talk to and distract me as badly as I used to when I was first going to the rooms, it has been a long time since I had myself someone I would call a friend, and I am going to miss having someone to say "whats up, you want to get some coffee?" to.
Oh yeah and its hot as hades here already. We have already had 110 degree days, last week. I hate the heat, and would rather deal with the cold. If its cold you can always put more clothes on, or do something that will warm you up. If its hot there is only so much you can take off before you get arrested lol.
Well that is me for this week. How are all of you doing?
@ Cale, you probably know this, but I find what helps me in a funk (as I have my own fair share of those moments) is to do something, anything, anything at all. I know that in the moment I wont want to do anything, and I will just want to sit and stew in my thoughts and pity. But if I can get myself to do something, then I don't really feel better per say, but I kinda forget about feeling so $hity, if that makes any sense. Especially if I can manage to do something actually productive for my life or sobriety, then before I know it I am kinda out of the funk. I will have a moment sometimes when it suddenly occurs to me that I am not feeling like complete crap anymore. I can't always pull it off but when I do I feel a heck of a lot better. I also figure it is like practicing an instrument or martial art, what they call muscle memory, or at least something like it, maybe when I am in that funk I can do something that makes me feel better, or at least forget to feel bad, often enough that eventually I don't even have to think about it. I just start to feel a smidgen bad and I immediately do it and feel better, skipping more of the bad feeling entirely.
My main thing to combat is a feeling of pointlessness, if life over all. I will literaly sit in my car after getting home from work uncomfortable because it is hot and I want to get out of my work uniform, but I will just sit there because "what is the point of anything". I try to avoid staying there to long if I can, and haven't been there in a while, (for me a while is a couple of weeks). I don't know if that helps at all, but I know how it is to be in a funk and how there doesn't seem any way out of it at the time. Weird how it is like drinking that way, you can't see a way out until you have already started heading towards it.
Wow that was a ramble, sorry if that was annoying, I am just awake and bored at midnight, and there wasn't anyone in the chatroom lol.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Haha, your post cracked me up INH, the funny bits anyway
It is funny you mention procrastination cos I'm reading a book about it at the mo. Well, 20 pages in and I think I'm an expert. Actually the book is annoying me because it isn't getting to the point quick enough and a quick skim read of the other chapters seems to suggest some kind of cost/benefit analysis is the way out. Duh. But what I did learn was that the three main causes of procrastination are usually Low expectancy of results, ie you feel like your effort won't be rewarded or that you will fail; low value of results, ie not thinking something is important or you don't enjoy it; and low time motivation, as in you are not going to see results straight away for your efforts. Seems obvious when it's in black and white but the low expectancy explained a lot with me. All the stuff I put off is stuff I'm scared of, thinking I will be criticised or ridiculed for it. It isn't just laziness Oh and the author of this book goes into great detail about how procrastinators are impulsive and that their actions come from the limbic system, which is geared towards pleasure and overrides the prefrontal cortex which is the 'willpower' part of the brain and is used for planning. Very AVRT no? But this has got me all paranoid that my prefrontal brain doesn't work properly and that means that I am mentally deficient in some way 
It is very hot here too. I was out for a few hours yesterday and was good and put sun tan lotion on, but I missed a bit where there was a hole in my top on my back and it has burnt badly and blistered and everything. I also have a tan in the shape of my fishnets on my legs. It is very hot for this country, but I was out in the mid day sun. Only mad dogs and Englishmen right? I think it's like snow, we just don't know what to do when we get it so we end up being stupid.
How's things Nicky? And where is Jeni...? It has been a far too long, I may have to hunt you down Anyone heard from James too, or Marksthespot? I know he said he wasn't gonna post but I'd be nice to hear from him all the same...
I get the pointlessness thing too INH. It hurts to think about. I find myself little tasks that are essential and couldn't exist without me. It doesn't have to be big. I feel like my teaching gives me purpose, I spent most of this afternoon doing that and it's very rewarding, but also just looking after my dog and the occasional times I help people out. Every little thing counts x
We're always here anyway INH, while we might not be able to take you out for coffee there is always a few of us around and tons of people in the forums any time of day or night x
It is funny you mention procrastination cos I'm reading a book about it at the mo. Well, 20 pages in and I think I'm an expert. Actually the book is annoying me because it isn't getting to the point quick enough and a quick skim read of the other chapters seems to suggest some kind of cost/benefit analysis is the way out. Duh. But what I did learn was that the three main causes of procrastination are usually Low expectancy of results, ie you feel like your effort won't be rewarded or that you will fail; low value of results, ie not thinking something is important or you don't enjoy it; and low time motivation, as in you are not going to see results straight away for your efforts. Seems obvious when it's in black and white but the low expectancy explained a lot with me. All the stuff I put off is stuff I'm scared of, thinking I will be criticised or ridiculed for it. It isn't just laziness
Oh and the author of this book goes into great detail about how procrastinators are impulsive and that their actions come from the limbic system, which is geared towards pleasure and overrides the prefrontal cortex which is the 'willpower' part of the brain and is used for planning. Very AVRT no? But this has got me all paranoid that my prefrontal brain doesn't work properly and that means that I am mentally deficient in some way 
It is very hot here too. I was out for a few hours yesterday and was good and put sun tan lotion on, but I missed a bit where there was a hole in my top on my back and it has burnt badly and blistered and everything. I also have a tan in the shape of my fishnets on my legs. It is very hot for this country, but I was out in the mid day sun. Only mad dogs and Englishmen right? I think it's like snow, we just don't know what to do when we get it so we end up being stupid.
How's things Nicky? And where is Jeni...? It has been a far too long, I may have to hunt you down
Anyone heard from James too, or Marksthespot? I know he said he wasn't gonna post but I'd be nice to hear from him all the same...I get the pointlessness thing too INH. It hurts to think about. I find myself little tasks that are essential and couldn't exist without me. It doesn't have to be big. I feel like my teaching gives me purpose, I spent most of this afternoon doing that and it's very rewarding, but also just looking after my dog and the occasional times I help people out. Every little thing counts x
We're always here anyway INH, while we might not be able to take you out for coffee there is always a few of us around and tons of people in the forums any time of day or night
x
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Random update in my life, just to keep the thread popping. I am getting into the swing of the school I am in. We tested out of the first annex today and I aced the thing. Math was never one of my weak subjects but still the way people talked about it I expected to have a harder time. This is only the beginning though the worst is yet to come from what I hear. But for today I am golden.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi my lovely friends. Sorry for my absence...I'm ok. Working too hard, stressing over family, still working through stuff with my therapist...going to the gym...keeping my head above water and looking forward to the end of the term now....
That about wraps it up!
I'm a little concerned about Nicky..how's it going?xxx
That about wraps it up!
I'm a little concerned about Nicky..how's it going?xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Glad you're doing well INH. Keep those random updates coming x
Don't stress Jeni *hugs* x Try not to carry everything on your own shoulders x
I am very glad it's the weekend, I have a whole day with no plans tomorrow which sounds like heaven to me.
Hope you're okay Nicky x
xDon't stress Jeni *hugs* x Try not to carry everything on your own shoulders x
I am very glad it's the weekend, I have a whole day with no plans tomorrow which sounds like heaven to me.
Hope you're okay Nicky x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I'm good thank Jeni. Sorry works not good. I am so fed up with my work at the moment too but it's not really for stress reasons. Everything is pretty manageable here. I even had an inbox full of emails of people wanting me to do stuff and I didn't freak out. It's progress.
I hope it is something that is manageable Jeni and whatever is kicking your butt doesn't continue! xxx
I hope it is something that is manageable Jeni and whatever is kicking your butt doesn't continue! xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
To be honest I don't think I'm cut out for this job. And I haven't got time to analyse what about it is bothering me the most.
I guess it's the worst and busiest time of the school year anyway and that doesn't help. I know I'm isolating from everything else right now. I haven't seen any friends or gone out socially for months. I'm just counting down the weeks til the summer hols now.
I'm ok though. Sober. Not smoking. Going to the gym.
So there's a lot going very well. I'm just very tired and jaded. I have to cope under pressure every day and there are so many conflict situations and having to manage other people's emotions. It has sort of caught up with me, that's all.
Glad you're still keeping this thread going, bless you.
And I'm pleased you're doing well. Maybe as we're both struggling with our jobs, we should set ourselves up in business together?! I always fancied running a book shop. Somewhere on the coast. Lol xxx
I guess it's the worst and busiest time of the school year anyway and that doesn't help. I know I'm isolating from everything else right now. I haven't seen any friends or gone out socially for months. I'm just counting down the weeks til the summer hols now.
I'm ok though. Sober. Not smoking. Going to the gym.
So there's a lot going very well. I'm just very tired and jaded. I have to cope under pressure every day and there are so many conflict situations and having to manage other people's emotions. It has sort of caught up with me, that's all.
Glad you're still keeping this thread going, bless you.
And I'm pleased you're doing well. Maybe as we're both struggling with our jobs, we should set ourselves up in business together?! I always fancied running a book shop. Somewhere on the coast. Lol xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Ooh, that sounds lovely. Though I think I might be sick of 'lovely' jobs though. Everyone thinks my job is lovely, and although there's a lot of pleasant things about it there is a lot of sh;t that comes with it too, but I was thinking about it today and I think I need more of a challenge. I'd much rather be doing something where I am helping people. Maybe we should swap jobs for a bit
Just keep those summer holidays in mind You have your priorities right though Jeni, you have to look after yourself first otherwise you'd be no use to anyone. Do you find the gym helps you relax? x
Just keep those summer holidays in mind
You have your priorities right though Jeni, you have to look after yourself first otherwise you'd be no use to anyone. Do you find the gym helps you relax? x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
YES!!! Let's do a swap. I've got 50 staff and about 90 children that I'm responsible for. Ive got to manage all the staffing difficulties (including a disciplinary going on at the moment which is horrible), and work with parents, visiting professionals, new pupils, and a million and one other things.
The best part of the job is the kids...and I go days and weeks without seeing them at all now!!! You'd be fine. Just put on some emotional overcoat and smile that's what I do all day. I have at least one person sobbing in my office every day...I think my reserves of empathy have run dry.
Yeah the gym helps. It doesn't relax me. But it helps wear me out so I can sleep a little better and I feel physically stronger.
I'm sure once the end of term is here I will be a different person.
I'm actually quite proud of how I'm bearing up and how I'm managing this stress. Tired? Yes. Stressed? Yes.... But not drinking or cracking up. And that's the best feeling xxx
The best part of the job is the kids...and I go days and weeks without seeing them at all now!!! You'd be fine. Just put on some emotional overcoat and smile that's what I do all day. I have at least one person sobbing in my office every day...I think my reserves of empathy have run dry.
Yeah the gym helps. It doesn't relax me. But it helps wear me out so I can sleep a little better and I feel physically stronger.
I'm sure once the end of term is here I will be a different person.
I'm actually quite proud of how I'm bearing up and how I'm managing this stress. Tired? Yes. Stressed? Yes.... But not drinking or cracking up. And that's the best feeling xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Haha, yes, and you can have my two workshop staff who hardly speak to me anyway.
I think you should be proud Jeni. You're doing really well on all fronts. If you think of the progress you've made, and bearing in mind you're doing a job with more responsibility now...
Hope you sleep well tonight x
I think you should be proud Jeni. You're doing really well on all fronts. If you think of the progress you've made, and bearing in mind you're doing a job with more responsibility now...
Hope you sleep well tonight x
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Hey all just wanted to bump this thread.
Sorry to hear that work is sucking it up for you Jen. I know the feeling. I don't have much new to report in my life, just taking it easy where I can and trying to get sleep on a regular basis.
Have a good weekend ladies, hopefully it helps you relax.
Sorry to hear that work is sucking it up for you Jen. I know the feeling. I don't have much new to report in my life, just taking it easy where I can and trying to get sleep on a regular basis.
Have a good weekend ladies, hopefully it helps you relax.
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Well it doesn't seem like much to me but I suppose I will let people know whats going on my little corner of the planet.
Lets see..... One of the guys from the rooms heard me talking about the school I am going through and asked if I can tutor him in algebra so he can try and get his GED (high school graduation equivalency). I agreed, but I think it is going to be something I am going to regret. I have never tried to teach anything and in our first sit down I had to coach the guy through the basics of multiplication and long division. If a person doesn't have a basic grasp of that algebra is going to be a while coming. But I am going to keep at it I suppose I just might have to grit my teeth through it.
I had a girl message me over face book that was married to one of my Marines a long time ago. She just wanted to know what was going on in my life and made a comment that kind of blew me outa the water. She wasn't hitting on me I don't think but she mentioned that she was asking the questions about my life because she always had a respect or me as a person and as a Marine. To be honest I didn't ever like this girl very much but I suppose I didn't really know her that well. It actually kinda threw me into a funk thinking about it last night, and I suppose that is one of the reasons that I have been kinda down on myself the last few years is that people thought so well of me while inwardly I "knew" I didn't deserve any of it. The whole time she knew me I was drinking on a daily basis, I just hadn't really gotten low yet and it hadn't become the problem it would eventually.
My house is a wreak right now, I have boxes laying about, trash here and there, and all that jazz, I keep beating myself up in that I have got to take the time to clean in. But I am a consumate procrastinator and any time I get time, I sit behind this computer and ply it off on another day. Oh well I suppose I will get to it eventually, for now I consol myself with the fact that in the long run it doensn't really matter. No one sees it but me and if I don't care then it doesn't matter.
hmmm, Oh yeah I had nearly forgot but thankfully I have a little app on my phone that counts my sober days for me. I crossed five months on Saturday, more than three times my best before. And it feels a lot better this time, obviously. Still with that knowledge I had some moments of temptation but I think that was related to the message I got from that woman and my feelings of guilt/shame from it. To clarify I didn't feel that bad, but it was just a touch of the way I used to feel on a regular basis, so I think my subconscious responded with just a touch of the ways in which I used to deal with that.
Well ladies I figured I would talk about something, anything, but I do have to go as I have to meet that dude for a math sit down and I am already late. I was typing this while the coffee was brewing but it is done now so I have got to get my but moving.
Have a good one you two, and anyone else that decides to stop buy give us a holler let us know how your holding up.
Lets see..... One of the guys from the rooms heard me talking about the school I am going through and asked if I can tutor him in algebra so he can try and get his GED (high school graduation equivalency). I agreed, but I think it is going to be something I am going to regret. I have never tried to teach anything and in our first sit down I had to coach the guy through the basics of multiplication and long division. If a person doesn't have a basic grasp of that algebra is going to be a while coming. But I am going to keep at it I suppose I just might have to grit my teeth through it.
I had a girl message me over face book that was married to one of my Marines a long time ago. She just wanted to know what was going on in my life and made a comment that kind of blew me outa the water. She wasn't hitting on me I don't think but she mentioned that she was asking the questions about my life because she always had a respect or me as a person and as a Marine. To be honest I didn't ever like this girl very much but I suppose I didn't really know her that well. It actually kinda threw me into a funk thinking about it last night, and I suppose that is one of the reasons that I have been kinda down on myself the last few years is that people thought so well of me while inwardly I "knew" I didn't deserve any of it. The whole time she knew me I was drinking on a daily basis, I just hadn't really gotten low yet and it hadn't become the problem it would eventually.
My house is a wreak right now, I have boxes laying about, trash here and there, and all that jazz, I keep beating myself up in that I have got to take the time to clean in. But I am a consumate procrastinator and any time I get time, I sit behind this computer and ply it off on another day. Oh well I suppose I will get to it eventually, for now I consol myself with the fact that in the long run it doensn't really matter. No one sees it but me and if I don't care then it doesn't matter.
hmmm, Oh yeah I had nearly forgot but thankfully I have a little app on my phone that counts my sober days for me. I crossed five months on Saturday, more than three times my best before. And it feels a lot better this time, obviously. Still with that knowledge I had some moments of temptation but I think that was related to the message I got from that woman and my feelings of guilt/shame from it. To clarify I didn't feel that bad, but it was just a touch of the way I used to feel on a regular basis, so I think my subconscious responded with just a touch of the ways in which I used to deal with that.
Well ladies I figured I would talk about something, anything, but I do have to go as I have to meet that dude for a math sit down and I am already late. I was typing this while the coffee was brewing but it is done now so I have got to get my but moving.
Have a good one you two, and anyone else that decides to stop buy give us a holler let us know how your holding up.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Well done on 5 months INH! 
God you sound just like me. I am procrastinator extraordinaire and still have boxes to unpack after moving 4 years ago. Sometimes I feel like SR doesn't help but then I think its more useful for my mental health to be here than cleaning up. I still haven't got to any useful information in that book I am reading, just stuff about being impulsive and I am seeing how that relates to practically everything I do, that I will do the thing that see's results quicker. On the other side of that though I am actually a very patient person. I have to be really to do my job. And to teach too. INH, if anything will teach you patience to that will! Especially maths. One of my pupils is a maths teacher and it's really funny because he has a really hard time learning music. I always say I can't see what the problem is as all you have to do is count up to 4 It's hard work sometimes but very rewarding. I am sure you'll be a great help to this guy x
I had a 'touch of how I used to feel on a regular basis' today too. I have been letting myself get worked up about stuff. I still have the ability to go up and down in great big dramatic swoops. I am not sure it is something that ever goes away entirely (we need someone with more sobriety to let us know that!) but I know I am able to cope with it better now and have much more ability to be rational. It escapes me sometimes, but usually not for long. I understand how you feel about this girl contacting you. It sounds like you have been beating yourself up too much though. Even though you felt really bad because of your drinking that wasn't reflected in how others saw you. I think that counts for something x
Thanks for checking in. It would be nice to hear from Nicky too... How you doing?
God you sound just like me. I am procrastinator extraordinaire and still have boxes to unpack after moving 4 years ago. Sometimes I feel like SR doesn't help but then I think its more useful for my mental health to be here than cleaning up. I still haven't got to any useful information in that book I am reading, just stuff about being impulsive and I am seeing how that relates to practically everything I do, that I will do the thing that see's results quicker. On the other side of that though I am actually a very patient person. I have to be really to do my job. And to teach too. INH, if anything will teach you patience to that will! Especially maths. One of my pupils is a maths teacher and it's really funny because he has a really hard time learning music. I always say I can't see what the problem is as all you have to do is count up to 4
It's hard work sometimes but very rewarding. I am sure you'll be a great help to this guy xI had a 'touch of how I used to feel on a regular basis' today too. I have been letting myself get worked up about stuff. I still have the ability to go up and down in great big dramatic swoops. I am not sure it is something that ever goes away entirely (we need someone with more sobriety to let us know that!) but I know I am able to cope with it better now and have much more ability to be rational. It escapes me sometimes, but usually not for long. I understand how you feel about this girl contacting you. It sounds like you have been beating yourself up too much though. Even though you felt really bad because of your drinking that wasn't reflected in how others saw you. I think that counts for something x
Thanks for checking in. It would be nice to hear from Nicky too... How you doing?
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