InsertNameHere

Daddy Lee.... wow congrats man!

@hypo- lol yeah I suppose that might be obsession . Us yanks can't top you Brits on the tea thing that's for sure .

Made a split decision to cruise up and see my sister. She's a 15 hour straight drive away so more like 24-30 hours with stops for sleep and food. I am about halfway through with it as I type. I didn't want to do it but it will make her feel better and is later guilt prevention for me. Should be an alright time though. Oregon is beautiful I haven't been back there since I left in the fifth grade.

Have a good one all, and congratulations again Lee.

Caledonia1

Drive carefully and enjoy your visit.
x

hypochondriac

I hope you have a good time INH. And yes, us brits like tea. We have american friends who come to visit us sometimes who think it's really novel and quaint.

I have been having lots of drinking thoughts recently, much more seriously than usual. I am still not gonna drink but I have had thoughts that basically if some stuff doesn't work out for me I might go back to it. And that seeing as I have decided in sobriety that I like a solitary life then drinking wasn't really getting in the way of anything like I thought it was and therefore there's no reason I can't drink now. I was momentarily forgetting all the health trouble and crazy anxiety. Thought I best get that out there cos I have been entertaining these thoughts in my own head for too long now.

How is everyone else doing?

Jeni26

Maybe the passage of time is re-writing the script of your drinking days for you? It's easy to forget the worst bits...but also consider, what benefits would drinking bring into your life right now? Xxx

hypochondriac

No benefits really, though I am tired of having to be logical about these things. It is amazing though how if everything isn't perfect I think I have to get drunk. I don't rationally but emotionally I feel exhausted. How are you doing Jeni? x

Jeni26

I'm good, gotta rush but I will be back later xxxxxxx

Jeni26

Soooo, what's up my friend?xxxx

Dee74

I took me a while to get my life right Hypo - over a year.

I'd dug a pretty deep hole for myself with drinking. I also had a lot of unclaimed baggage that started me off drinking all those years ago I needed to attend to.

All that takes time but I figured I gave nearly thirty years to drink and drugs so a year or two is not that bad in comparison.

I like being sober - even when things are a bit humdrum and progress seems a little tough.

I'm much closer to who I want to be sober, or at least having the best chance of becoming that.

Drinking? I got no chance.

You're worth fighting for Hypo
D

Caledonia1

Dearest Hypo. Please kick those horrible thoughts into touch and carry on with your new sober life.

Hey you get to live your life with little health issues, drinking would take that from you.

Yes you'd be in your own wee world but would you really enjoy it. Dark, lonely, sleeping not eating.

Life's for living Hypo. I hope you're feeling much more positive today. You've been so kind to me since I joined and you and Jeni reached out to me at times when I felt low.

Hang on in there pal. It's worth a fight.

Hugs
Nicky
x

Jeni26

I need to hear from you!!!!!!

Jen xxxx

hypochondriac

Thank you guys. I'm glad I got that out there. But I feel like such a selfish git cos I didn't realise it was your sober birthday Jeni! Congratulations to you! You are doing so well. I hope my negative post didn't cast a shadow over anything, it really is better sober. They were just thoughts that were knocking around my head the last few weeks, the sort of thing I never admit to out loud but probably should. I wonder if in part it has been because I have been less active here. It seems to tie in. Some of the stuff you said really hit home Dee, and it's funny because I have been thinking the last few days of going back to some form of counselling. There was a woman I saw briefly some years ago who I know could kick me back into shape. I do know that I feel a bit like I did when I was 12 which is no bad thing. The last decade may have been a bit of a waste but I have a better chance of being happy now. I think really I am just having a little identity crisis. Especially with the 'recovering alcoholic' thing. It should be irrelevant really but I was annoyed because the application for volunteering I am filling out says that I should not be an active service user. Well I am not, but only because I can't get to any of the meetings, so that makes me feel like they think less of addicts (whereas I know that is sh;t and that it puts me in a better position than some of the support workers I have seen there who have been quite frankly clueless when it comes to addiction). I know I don't have to identify myself with anything really but I feel like I have to to exist slightly. The only other person I know who went teetotal has started drinking again and I suppose I have come back to feeling like I need to explain why I'm not, or just ignore everyone...

Sorry, morning ranting again. Happy birthday Jeni! x

Thank you all for your kind words. I'd be lost without you xxx

Jeni26

Hey Hypo, maybe these spells of things not feeling quite right are all just part of the process of growing? Some things change, some stay the same, and sometimes we feel unsure or frustrated.

What will never help us move forward is returning to drinking...come on, we've both been around SR for a while now, we both know people who have gone back out there. Have you ever heard one of them say it was for the best?

I would HATE for you to be one of those who gets lost. Don't isolate, please.

You are far too important to me my lovely friend xxx

hypochondriac

I won't drink, don't worry Jeni. I think if I kept those thoughts to myself though they would have got worse, like they have after the last few weeks. Saying them out loud is like getting rid of them

Hope you have had a lovely day x

Jeni26

Yeah, oh definitely post....it's saved me many a time!! It's never a good idea to let those niggles build into anything worse.

Love you loads xxx

Jeni26

How are you doing today Hypo? Got anything nice planned for the bank holiday Monday?xxx

How's Nicky and INH? The sun is shining here, hope it is where you are x

Caledonia1

No sun today but we've had a cracking weekend though.

No rest for us Scots today. Schools on as usual only our Banks closed today.

My wee ones' got a hospital appointment today and I'm sleepover tonight. Nothing too exciting nor draining today for me. What about you Jeni?

Catch you all later
x

Jeni26

Lovely weather here...I'm doing a lot of procrastinating... I gave up smoking a week or so ago, and now want to look at embracing a healthy lifestyle. Obviously this is a MAJOR change for me. I eat badly, I don't exercise, I worry too much. I work too hard. And I need to completely turn all this on its head.

H is at work, the kids are going out today. So it's just me and my plans....

I didn't realise you don't have the bank holiday in Scotland Nicky, the schools are shut all week here! X

hypochondriac

Weather is stunning here too. I never work mondays so bank holidays are a bit meaningless to me, but besides that my cold water tank has decided to start leaking so I will mostly be trying to sort that out, mostly

I hope your wee one's okay Nicky x

hypochondriac

Jeni, I highly recommend a dog for exercise. I think she has helped me approach my lifestyle more healthily too because I am obsessed with making sure she eats right, but I never apply the same standards to myself. And it is pretty clear she needs the exercise both mentally and physically so it stands to reason that I do too, but I have holed myself up for years doing nothing. I think she has validated the lifestyle change for me because I couldn't see myself taking up running or anything like that. I have an excuse to be active. Well done on giving up smoking x

Jeni26

I'd love to get a dog and so would the kids, but it just isn't possible with the hours we work. I'm out for 12 hours every day, H works shifts, and the kids are never here either. I just don't think I could give it the time and attention it needs, and I wouldn't like to think of an animal cooped up here all day. We've already got a cat who needs zero attention...she lets us know when she's hungry and we have no routine for her. She whines, she gets fed. That's as much as we can cope with in this family!!

Anyway, I've got a pile of ironing to get through while I plan my lifestyle changes...

Hope your leak gets fixed!xxx