Class of February 2013 part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
Posts: 198
Originally Posted by Starbaby928 
Did you find it? When I go to churches- I usually try to follow someone... Creepy but effective.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Day 11 today! Its nearly 4pm here and its been a beautiful, warm sunny day. Ive been doing a bit of gardening- making the most of it- this is UK it wont last! Had my first drinking dream since i quit last night, in the dream i was drinking while everyone was eating it seemed so real- the desperation of wanting more and more. Glad it was just a dream!
Looking forward to the Man Utd v Real Madrid match tonight, (even though im a Leeds fan!) its on terrestrial tv so no need for me to go to the pub to watch it.
My old workmates meet up every wednesday, in the daytime, its just for a coffee and a catch up but one of them goes to the pub first then afterwards, last time i went 2 weeks ago i went with him to the pubs and couldnt stop. I have met them before now and not drank. I want to go but i do see it as a real test if i do. They all know of my struggles with drinking so its no big deal for me to tell them ive quit, (although theyve heard that from me in the past). Feel like ive got to test myself at some point- just a bit nervous.
Anyway hope youre feeling better Tiger and Mrbeagle, been thinking of you both today, wish you both all the best for today, all things must pass- even the bad days.
Looking forward to the Man Utd v Real Madrid match tonight, (even though im a Leeds fan!) its on terrestrial tv so no need for me to go to the pub to watch it.
My old workmates meet up every wednesday, in the daytime, its just for a coffee and a catch up but one of them goes to the pub first then afterwards, last time i went 2 weeks ago i went with him to the pubs and couldnt stop. I have met them before now and not drank. I want to go but i do see it as a real test if i do. They all know of my struggles with drinking so its no big deal for me to tell them ive quit, (although theyve heard that from me in the past). Feel like ive got to test myself at some point- just a bit nervous.
Anyway hope youre feeling better Tiger and Mrbeagle, been thinking of you both today, wish you both all the best for today, all things must pass- even the bad days.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 571
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Day 11 today! Its nearly 4pm here and its been a beautiful, warm sunny day. Ive been doing a bit of gardening- making the most of it- this is UK it wont last! Had my first drinking dream since i quit last night, in the dream i was drinking while everyone was eating it seemed so real- the desperation of wanting more and more. Glad it was just a dream!
Looking forward to the Man Utd v Real Madrid match tonight, (even though im a Leeds fan!) its on terrestrial tv so no need for me to go to the pub to watch it.
My old workmates meet up every wednesday, in the daytime, its just for a coffee and a catch up but one of them goes to the pub first then afterwards, last time i went 2 weeks ago i went with him to the pubs and couldnt stop. I have met them before now and not drank. I want to go but i do see it as a real test if i do. They all know of my struggles with drinking so its no big deal for me to tell them ive quit, (although theyve heard that from me in the past). Feel like ive got to test myself at some point- just a bit nervous.
Anyway hope youre feeling better Tiger and Mrbeagle, been thinking of you both today, wish you both all the best for today, all things must pass- even the bad days.
Looking forward to the Man Utd v Real Madrid match tonight, (even though im a Leeds fan!) its on terrestrial tv so no need for me to go to the pub to watch it.
My old workmates meet up every wednesday, in the daytime, its just for a coffee and a catch up but one of them goes to the pub first then afterwards, last time i went 2 weeks ago i went with him to the pubs and couldnt stop. I have met them before now and not drank. I want to go but i do see it as a real test if i do. They all know of my struggles with drinking so its no big deal for me to tell them ive quit, (although theyve heard that from me in the past). Feel like ive got to test myself at some point- just a bit nervous.
Anyway hope youre feeling better Tiger and Mrbeagle, been thinking of you both today, wish you both all the best for today, all things must pass- even the bad days.
I too am very excited for the football tonight. I have a feeling United will win, RVP at least one goal. Thanks for thinking about me and tiger, i'm still here getting through the day and i'm sure tiger is too Sweeny and FF thanks so much for your kind words. SR is definitely my safe place i've realised. When i'm on here all desire to drink tends to dissipate, so it seems logical that I spend as much time on this wonderful site as possible.
Peace
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 157
Sober day 16 for this alcoholic. No cravings today, slowly I'm getting used to this peaceful life. This forum is helping a lot. The fear of going back to my old life scares me to death.
I pray that I may have no fear, I pray that I may cast all fear out of my life.
I pray that I may have no fear, I pray that I may cast all fear out of my life.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Midlands
Posts: 117
Originally Posted by TigerLili
Day 17 comes to and end and I am so not ok. I am hanging on by my fingernails. I posted about it in the alcoholism forum.
Melissa - I saw a rainbow today too, in the most unexpected place and just for a moment. I thought it was a sign from my higher power but all my praying is not giving me any relief so maybe not.
Melissa - I saw a rainbow today too, in the most unexpected place and just for a moment. I thought it was a sign from my higher power but all my praying is not giving me any relief so maybe not.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 278
Originally Posted by Fitness1234
Hey I found it....lol wasn't too hard..always ppl in front smoking...it was an okay meeting but I'm glad I went BC now it will be easier to go alone. I sit in the back and just listen...I am not comfortable talking to anyone... is this normal??? Well ten days...feeling good..still worried about future and thinking I will b able to handle it...or wishing I am able to be a a regular 29 year old person. But I am just taking it one day at a time...past ten days I've felt better then I have in a long time
Happy you feel so well!!! Yay Fitness! :-D
SB
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 571
Sorry to hear about your bike NewLife, that really sucks. Have you reported it to the police? You never know they might be able to do something. A common vandalism trend up in the north east atm is to just take the wheels off bikes and leave the frame, i've seen it happen so many times. People can be so mean
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Originally Posted by TigerLili
Day 17 comes to and end and I am so not ok. I am hanging on by my fingernails. I posted about it in the alcoholism forum.
Melissa - I saw a rainbow today too, in the most unexpected place and just for a moment. I thought it was a sign from my higher power but all my praying is not giving me any relief so maybe not.
Melissa - I saw a rainbow today too, in the most unexpected place and just for a moment. I thought it was a sign from my higher power but all my praying is not giving me any relief so maybe not.
When I came out of my first major binge which was black out drunk every single day between the ages of 18-23 I was so lost. My roommate was an artist and I had always loved arts and crafts so I started using her paints and it felt so good to reconnect with a childhood love. Try that. Try to reconnect with a childhood passion.
Here if you need me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 571
Originally Posted by Dee74
posting here more often is a good step....can you think of other things to do differently MrBeagle?
sorry about your bike NLM...
D
sorry about your bike NLM...
D
I'm ready to go
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: salt Lake
Posts: 488
Not sure if it was a 24 hr flu or food poising but a terrible sickness came over me yesterday. I haven't been that sick for years. So glad to be feeling better today.
Sorry about your bike Newlife. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe something good will come of it.
Mr.Beagle - It's great that you stopped at one and came right back here. Just don't be tricked into thinking you can do that again. It's will almost always be more than one!
Congrats to Venus and Clarity 30 days WOOT WOOT!
Tiger, you need more flowers
Sorry about your bike Newlife. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe something good will come of it.
Mr.Beagle - It's great that you stopped at one and came right back here. Just don't be tricked into thinking you can do that again. It's will almost always be more than one!
Congrats to Venus and Clarity 30 days WOOT WOOT!
Tiger, you need more flowers
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by melissa6381
Ok having a bit of an emotional break down here.
My man had a bad day, drama with his family and a bad night at his work and called to tell me that he was going out to get drunk. Long story short I told him that he could go out but I wouldn't be available to hear his problems until tomorrow if that we're the case because him being drunk is a major trigger for me and I need to protect my sobriety first and foremost. He was angry and annoyed with me but came straight home, I was proud if myself for setting boundaries but now he's just here with a dark cloud over him annoyed with me that he didn't get to "unwind from all the stress". I feel like me getting better is a burden, I came into the spare room to type this, started crying and said to myself, "oh my god. This is so so so hard."
Felt good to admit it out loud. Staying sober is so very hard.
His drunkenness triggers me, but I don't even know if it is better to shut my mouth about it or set boundaries with him? Both situations feel pretty horrible to me.
My man had a bad day, drama with his family and a bad night at his work and called to tell me that he was going out to get drunk. Long story short I told him that he could go out but I wouldn't be available to hear his problems until tomorrow if that we're the case because him being drunk is a major trigger for me and I need to protect my sobriety first and foremost. He was angry and annoyed with me but came straight home, I was proud if myself for setting boundaries but now he's just here with a dark cloud over him annoyed with me that he didn't get to "unwind from all the stress". I feel like me getting better is a burden, I came into the spare room to type this, started crying and said to myself, "oh my god. This is so so so hard."
Felt good to admit it out loud. Staying sober is so very hard.
His drunkenness triggers me, but I don't even know if it is better to shut my mouth about it or set boundaries with him? Both situations feel pretty horrible to me.
I don't know that she ever saw it as a problem because I didn't get roaring drunk, and hadn't yet discovered morning "hair of the dog".
The point of all this is that it was getting out of hand in NYC and the next time I visited her I was newly sober. SHE WAS MAD!! I had expected something like: "That's good, dear." But NO! What I had done, effectively, was remove her drinking buddy, (and probably remind her of my Father).
It took several visits for that to become the norm, and then I realized how much my Mother had circumscribed her life with her drinking. Sad, really. And besides, our conversations, which had been such fun while I was drinking, I came to realize were always the same. I took up crocheting so I could listen to this stuff over and over again.
You are on the right track Melissa, hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by NewLifeForMeeee
My bikes been stolen. 
cut right through the lock. My only form of transport left has gone, gutted.
cut right through the lock. My only form of transport left has gone, gutted.
Dancediva
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NE
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by melissa6381
V, thank you so much for your reply. We do have a very strong relationship- been together 8 years now, since we were 23 and even though we get into it sometimes he is the best person I know.
After a cool down period I explained to him that I want to be strong and be there for him but when he brings alcohol into the equation that I unravel and can't be there for him because when drinking is involved I need to be there for myself.
He was upset that I turned the whole thing about my alcoholism when he was the one who came home did the right thing and needed a shoulder to lean on... And he's not really wrong but I felt misunderstood, he just doesn't understand the internal struggle I'm dealing with. After a hot shower and a ice cream run everything was back to normal and I let him talk it all out while I just listened. We still have issues and boundaries to iron out, and I need to figure out a wayto live with his drinking eventually but for now peace has been restored. Thank you D and V for being there for me when i needed you- your support makes all the difference.
After a cool down period I explained to him that I want to be strong and be there for him but when he brings alcohol into the equation that I unravel and can't be there for him because when drinking is involved I need to be there for myself.
He was upset that I turned the whole thing about my alcoholism when he was the one who came home did the right thing and needed a shoulder to lean on... And he's not really wrong but I felt misunderstood, he just doesn't understand the internal struggle I'm dealing with. After a hot shower and a ice cream run everything was back to normal and I let him talk it all out while I just listened. We still have issues and boundaries to iron out, and I need to figure out a wayto live with his drinking eventually but for now peace has been restored. Thank you D and V for being there for me when i needed you- your support makes all the difference.
Dancediva
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NE
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by venuscat
Hello my lovely classmates!
DAY 30. Yes. It's here. And it is a miracle. And I am incredibly grateful. And I love you guys very very much....this journey we are taking together is powerful and inspiring ~ I am proud of all of us!!!
Mel,
I did it too....over and over and over. Yes, thank God I never hurt anyone, but like you 1stepup I had such a horrific accident that my father sobbed his heart out when he saw the remains of my car. I almost went off the biggest bridge we have in Melbourne, and I sliced the side of the car open like a tin can, all whilst having passed out....woke up with my head in my hand to see my side mirror get ripped off, and managed to control the car just enough to stop me diving off that bridge to my death.
And oh yes, I kept on doing it. Even after that. OMG.
Thank God we don't have to take those horrible risks any more. Thank God we're all still alive.
Mel, I am so sorry about Lacey, and so very proud of you. Honoring her like this is very powerful, and I agree with Kitty, she is your angel now, watching over you.
Love you all lots,
Venus xx
DAY 30. Yes. It's here. And it is a miracle. And I am incredibly grateful. And I love you guys very very much....this journey we are taking together is powerful and inspiring ~ I am proud of all of us!!!
Mel,
I did it too....over and over and over. Yes, thank God I never hurt anyone, but like you 1stepup I had such a horrific accident that my father sobbed his heart out when he saw the remains of my car. I almost went off the biggest bridge we have in Melbourne, and I sliced the side of the car open like a tin can, all whilst having passed out....woke up with my head in my hand to see my side mirror get ripped off, and managed to control the car just enough to stop me diving off that bridge to my death.
And oh yes, I kept on doing it. Even after that. OMG.
Thank God we don't have to take those horrible risks any more. Thank God we're all still alive.
Mel, I am so sorry about Lacey, and so very proud of you. Honoring her like this is very powerful, and I agree with Kitty, she is your angel now, watching over you.
Love you all lots,
Venus xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,525
Originally Posted by NewLifeForMeeee
My bikes been stolen. cut right through the lock. My only form of transport left has gone, gutted.
cut right through the lock. My only form of transport left has gone, gutted.So so sorry about your bike!!! awful horrible people!!! ggrrrrrrrr!!!
A friend on here pointed me to an amazing website The Freecycle Network
Basically it's a site where people donate and swap/trade goods instead of throwing stuff out. There are groups all over the world, and I'd bet there is a huge one where you live....maybe you could find a bicycle for yourself that wouldn't cost you anything?
I hope so...horrible to have your transport taken away!!!
Love Venus xx
Dancediva
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NE
Posts: 67
I'm way behind! I'm trying to catch up but it's taking awhile. I was so busy yesterday I didn't get to log in at all. I missed you guys so much! You are like my little extended family! Because of that I will go back and read every post. I don't want to miss a thing!
I do have to tell you I did my first social outing last night. I went out to dinner with a couple of friends after work. 1 of them is a drinking buddy. Him and I used to really put away the beer together. (yes I'm a woman but boy did I love my beer!) I don't see him all that often but we always had great fun together. Well he looked at me a bit funny when I ordered a diet pepsi because he didn't know. My other friend does and supports me 100%. He was cool with it though and we had a great time. I laughed alot and kept right up with the conversation. When I went to bed last night I was a little sad though. It's like I was missing my old life. I was missing being the "life of the party". At the same time I was grateful I was able to drive home safe and sober. I didn't have to worry about bed spins or a hangover. It's going to take awhile for the new life to become "normal".
I do have to tell you I did my first social outing last night. I went out to dinner with a couple of friends after work. 1 of them is a drinking buddy. Him and I used to really put away the beer together. (yes I'm a woman but boy did I love my beer!) I don't see him all that often but we always had great fun together. Well he looked at me a bit funny when I ordered a diet pepsi because he didn't know. My other friend does and supports me 100%. He was cool with it though and we had a great time. I laughed alot and kept right up with the conversation. When I went to bed last night I was a little sad though. It's like I was missing my old life. I was missing being the "life of the party". At the same time I was grateful I was able to drive home safe and sober. I didn't have to worry about bed spins or a hangover. It's going to take awhile for the new life to become "normal".
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,525
Originally Posted by PreciousKitty
Not sure if it was a 24 hr flu or food poising but a terrible sickness came over me yesterday. I haven't been that sick for years. So glad to be feeling better today.:
Sorry that u were ill
And so glad that you are feeling better today!!!! (Love you lots!!!).31 days here....life is challenging, and I feel a bit foolish for worrying so much about my cat, she is a lot better today. I guess I just did so much damage in my drinking that I'm trying to make sure I do the right thing these days.
Learning to be a responsible adult is all very new for me.
And MrBeagle, I too would never have stopped at just one glass, so so proud of you...love what MSweeney said....this is a marathon, not a race...and yes, we've all had many false starts!!!!
Love to you all awesome Class of Feb!
Venus xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: eastern canada
Posts: 65
So many entries. If I miss a day there are pages of catching up. Excuse my typing as I am squeezed beside an 11 and 6 year old in bed. Finishing day 30. What a great way to spend it by watching kids movies. Watched Flight last night. Interesting looking at alcoholism. Made me uncomfortable watching it as I could relate to a lot. Highly recommend it though. Take care all in your sober journey. Day 30 sober done. YAH
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