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-   -   Class of February 2013 part 4 (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-daily-support-threads/286267-class-february-2013-part-4-a.html)

Dee74 03-03-2013 03:43 PM

Class of February 2013 part 4
 
continues from here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-20.html

D

Starbaby928 03-03-2013 04:00 PM

NLFM- I like that acronym.

H.A.L.T.- it's a good reminder not to let those emotions overwhelm us to the point we pick up a drink again. :-D

SistahSober 03-03-2013 05:04 PM

It's official...no more AnxiousAlchy...SistahSober it is!!!

I had a great day 7 I couldn't be more proud of myself. I went to a family gathering with lots of wine flowing and had NO desire to partake in any. I was actually proud to say "I have been sober for 7 days"! They were really happy for me too!

Starbaby928 03-03-2013 06:56 PM


Originally Posted by SistahSober (Post 3845089)
It's official...no more AnxiousAlchy...SistahSober it is!!!

I had a great day 7 I couldn't be more proud of myself. I went to a family gathering with lots of wine flowing and had NO desire to partake in any. I was actually proud to say "I have been sober for 7 days"! They were really happy for me too!

Congrats on 7 Days... :-D

estone 03-03-2013 07:05 PM

Day 21 almost over... My 3rd weekend sober! Weekends were prime drinking time for me. It's so strange that I haven't even missed it. (I know that will come but each day I'm stronger and I'll be ready to tell my AV voice to back off!) I feel my heart becoming lighter. I noticed today that I'm laughing more and enjoying my family more. I must never go back to the drunken days and nights. I am truly grateful I'm waking up and the fog is clearing.

Starbaby928 03-03-2013 07:07 PM

Hey Y'all- end of Day 10 here.

I went to two meetings today and they both focused on Step Three... Letting go of self will... And how that release can manifest.

Talk about timely... Again! I get stuck in these thoughts of how I'm gonna fix things. Today I was smacked in the face... Self- no matter how hard you try... You can't "fix" this. Wrongs were perpetrated... People were hurt. You can make amends but you can't fix it. They will accept and y'all will move on to work on those things together or they won't and you are exactly where you are now. You can't do this alone. You need to work the steps and find a sponsor.

So- all in all- a good day, heavy, but good.

Sober dreams to all... Or good morning as the case may be for some of y'all!

Blessings,
SB

PreciousKitty 03-03-2013 07:22 PM


Originally Posted by Starbaby928 (Post 3845228)
Hey Y'all- end of Day 10 here.

I went to two meetings today and they both focused on Step Three... Letting go of self will... And how that release can manifest.

Talk about timely... Again! I get stuck in these thoughts of how I'm gonna fix things. Today I was smacked in the face... Self- no matter how hard you try... You can't "fix" this. Wrongs were perpetrated... People were hurt. You can make amends but you can't fix it. They will accept and y'all will move on to work on those things together or they won't and you are exactly where you are now. You can't do this alone. You need to work the steps and find a sponsor.

So- all in all- a good day, heavy, but good.

Sober dreams to all... Or good morning as the case may be for some of y'all!

Blessings,
SB

Very True SB. Good Job going to Two meetings. Good post :)

I went sponsor shopping today too.

Starbaby928 03-03-2013 07:26 PM


Originally Posted by PreciousKitty (Post 3845243)
Very True SB. Good Job going to Two meetings. Good post :)

I went sponsor shopping today too.

Thanks PK! Choosing a sponsor seems daunting. I feel like I'm going to share deeply personal things with this person who will undoubtedly be a stranger! I just need to relent to the process though and jump in there! :-D

I don't know if you're feeling the same apprehension... But I've told myself I'll identify and approach someone by the end of the week.

PreciousKitty 03-03-2013 07:27 PM

Your doing so well Sistah :dance8:

PreciousKitty 03-03-2013 07:30 PM

I had a great day. Stayed out of bed all day. Spent some time with my beautiful grandson, went to a meeting, did some grocery shopping, and more.

Going to bed feeling accomplished. GN friends!

PreciousKitty 03-03-2013 07:53 PM

As good as the day went, as I did accomplish a lot, I am frustrated that my two adult children/hubby do not help more. THey wait to be asked, esp my kids, and then its' like pulling teeth! They will do what I ask eventually. After I have asked them for two or three days in a row!

My other adult daughter broke her foot so her and my grandson are staying here also.

When I finally get something cleaned, it's a wreck the very next day.

It probably sounds so easy to most of you but setting boundaries is so difficult for me. I won't even mention keeping boundaries and holding others accountable!

I have got to get this living arrangement figured out or I am going to lose it.

Thanks for letting me vent. Now I can go to sleep.

Rosie199 03-03-2013 08:54 PM

Hi all, just wrapping day 7 here but not without some serious temptations.

I've noticed I've had a headache all weekend despite drinking lots of water. Leaves me with two thoughts, 1) is this some sort of withdrawal symptom and 2) wonder how many times I had just a regular headache & blamed it on a hangover! Oh, that damn AV! Lol, hope you're all staying strong!

melissa6381 03-03-2013 09:00 PM


1) AA is an organization where you give back. Asking for help from an "old timer" or someone willing to sponsor allows those people to continue to engage in an aspect of active recovery. They want to help.
Starbaby I think this is a very important observation. I felt anxious about a point in the future when I don't need SR support anymore but I can see how helping others will keep me actively involved in the recovery process and prevent slipping. Thanks for helping me see more clearly =)

Pamel 03-03-2013 09:43 PM

Since we are moving along here:

firstweek, fantail, Estone, Precious Kitty, Liza, ShapeUp, Goose1, venuscat, Marksman, Starbaby928, Fitness1234, laana, 1stStepUp, Nonsensical, Noubledegitive, MrBeagle, Bunny44, NewLifeForMeee, and ICanDoThis2013, Bizooky, Dee, Odelle, justme2013, NewLifeForMeeee, Paddler, CrossFox, ub3, Melissa6381, Rosie199, Lavender520, MSweeney, TigerLili, JCMalta, Pamel, Tick, Easyrider, markinsf, wehav2day, soberjanedoe, Liza, bigaquagirl, Mainza, Sistahsober

Anyone still missing from the roster or want to join?

venuscat 03-03-2013 10:58 PM


Originally Posted by SistahSober (Post 3845089)
It's official...no more AnxiousAlchy...SistahSober it is!!!

I had a great day 7 I couldn't be more proud of myself. I went to a family gathering with lots of wine flowing and had NO desire to partake in any. I was actually proud to say "I have been sober for 7 days"! They were really happy for me too!

You made me smile when I saw that Sistah ~ love that you did this, love that you didn't mind me sticking my big nose in!!!!

Venus xx :)

venuscat 03-03-2013 11:06 PM


Originally Posted by Rosie199 (Post 3845320)
I've noticed I've had a headache all weekend despite drinking lots of water. Leaves me with two thoughts, 1) is this some sort of withdrawal symptom and 2) wonder how many times I had just a regular headache & blamed it on a hangover! Oh, that damn AV! Lol, hope you're all staying strong!

Hi Rosie,

I had a massive headache during Week 1 ~ really really bad. For me, it was definitely part of the withdrawal process, and actually my physical withdrawal easily lasted two full weeks. I say this not to scare you, but just because there are a lot of people in the D&A counselling field who will tell you that withdrawal is only 7 days.

I have been told that it is an individual process, different for all of us, depending on a lot of factors....this is what's happening for you. Please don't let it stress you out too much....one day at a time, it really will get better. Stick with the tons of water....and for sure, if it continues, see a doctor to make sure it isn't something else.

Love Venus xx :)

venuscat 03-03-2013 11:23 PM

DAY 29 ~

Awesome to be sober.

Life is pretty hard for me today...after losing my dog on the weekend, last night I got bitten by a very angry wasp, was in pain and quite ill all evening, and as I was going to bed, I discovered that Venus (my cat) is sick. Tried really hard not to panic, this was always my modus operandi in days gone by....

Venus will be OK (please god), but the vet is super expensive, and today I lost one of my cleaning clients that was 8 hours work per week...hence massive money worries.

One of my friends on this site helped me out, gave me a website that has awesome home remedies for pet ailments...and I feel super blessed. If that fails, I will have to somehow find the money for the vet.

Had to get a tetanus injection for the wasp bite, can you believe that?? How weird, but apparently it is standard practice now.

So it's been a rough day. I'm not feeling so good.

What got me through? You guys. Again. I read all of your posts and it takes me out of my own head...and I cry and I laugh (estone you are really really funny!!!) and I stop feeling sorry for myself.

Noticed ub3 has said this before, and I love this one... Poor Me, Pour Me A Drink.

Self-pity is a killer for us.

I love all of you,

Venus xx :)

PS Would never, ever have been able to deal with all of this if I was still drinking....would be curled up in a ball sobbing my heart out. Sobriety makes life possible.

melissa6381 03-03-2013 11:27 PM

Ok having a bit of an emotional break down here.

My man had a bad day, drama with his family and a bad night at his work and called to tell me that he was going out to get drunk. Long story short I told him that he could go out but I wouldn't be available to hear his problems until tomorrow if that we're the case because him being drunk is a major trigger for me and I need to protect my sobriety first and foremost. He was angry and annoyed with me but came straight home, I was proud if myself for setting boundaries but now he's just here with a dark cloud over him annoyed with me that he didn't get to "unwind from all the stress". I feel like me getting better is a burden, I came into the spare room to type this, started crying and said to myself, "oh my god. This is so so so hard."

Felt good to admit it out loud. Staying sober is so very hard.

His drunkenness triggers me, but I don't even know if it is better to shut my mouth about it or set boundaries with him? Both situations feel pretty horrible to me.

Dee74 03-03-2013 11:37 PM

Early recovery is a tough time for people in a relationship too, Melissa.

I don't know what your relationship is like and what approach is better - you may find down the track that other peoples drinking won't be such a red button issue.

but for now, I do know one of the things I had to learn was people were going to be annoyed with me when I stood up for what I wanted and needed.

I used to be very complaint.

The changes in me took some people back, but I never regretted them because I knew I need to make those changes - for me.

It was difficult to sit with peoples displeasure, but I got over it - and so did they :)

D

venuscat 03-03-2013 11:44 PM


Originally Posted by melissa6381 (Post 3845409)
Ok having a bit of an emotional break down here.

My man had a bad day, drama with his family and a bad night at his work and called to tell me that he was going out to get drunk. Long story short I told him that he could go out but I wouldn't be available to hear his problems until tomorrow if that we're the case because him being drunk is a major trigger for me and I need to protect my sobriety first and foremost. He was angry and annoyed with me but came straight home, I was proud if myself for setting boundaries but now he's just here with a dark cloud over him annoyed with me that he didn't get to "unwind from all the stress". I feel like me getting better is a burden, I came into the spare room to type this, started crying and said to myself, "oh my god. This is so so so hard."

Felt good to admit it out loud. Staying sober is so very hard.

His drunkenness triggers me, but I don't even know if it is better to shut my mouth about it or set boundaries with him? Both situations feel pretty horrible to me.

Oh sweetheart,

I feel your pain...crying right along with you. Yes, this is so, so hard. And I know this may sound weird, but if it was me, I would talk to him about this, when you feel you can, when the time is right. Tell him how you feel, talk to him openly and honestly...it sounds to me like you two have a strong loving relationship, and no matter how difficult some conversations are, it is better to get it out. The love and the trust you have built up between you will get you both through.

love you so much Mel, lean on me, lean on us.

We've got your back.

Venus xx :)


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