Class of February 2013 part 4
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 571
Still going here, on day 6. Been so busy the past few days i've struggled for time to check in. I'm planning on a relaxing bath later so i'll take that opportunity to read up on all your posts.
Hope you are all well
Hope you are all well
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Originally Posted by 1stepup 
Its not just 'stopping drinking' its a total life change
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
FF was talking about driving earlier and I want to get something out there.
When I was 21 I was driving drunk all the time and finally got a DUI which I was actually happy about because they took my license and I had been scaring myself.
I didn't drink and drive for many many years after that.
Three years ago my friend Lacey was driving with her fiancee to see her parents for Christmas. A drunk woman got on the highway going the wrong way and killed her instantly. Her fiancée lived, but she is gone. She was 30 years old and one of the most beautiful souls I had ever know. We were devastated and all miss her every day.
But here comes my confession: about a year ago I got a new job and my new friends went to bars that weren't taxi friendly for me- so I stated driving home- wasted. I cannot believe I was doing that- such appallingly bad behavior especially with everything that happened with Lacey. I am so ashamed of what I was doing but hope it will help others to realize how powerfully controlling this drug can be in making bad choices for you.
I am not only getting sober for myself but also in the memory of Lacey. Thanks for listening.
When I was 21 I was driving drunk all the time and finally got a DUI which I was actually happy about because they took my license and I had been scaring myself.
I didn't drink and drive for many many years after that.
Three years ago my friend Lacey was driving with her fiancee to see her parents for Christmas. A drunk woman got on the highway going the wrong way and killed her instantly. Her fiancée lived, but she is gone. She was 30 years old and one of the most beautiful souls I had ever know. We were devastated and all miss her every day.
But here comes my confession: about a year ago I got a new job and my new friends went to bars that weren't taxi friendly for me- so I stated driving home- wasted. I cannot believe I was doing that- such appallingly bad behavior especially with everything that happened with Lacey. I am so ashamed of what I was doing but hope it will help others to realize how powerfully controlling this drug can be in making bad choices for you.
I am not only getting sober for myself but also in the memory of Lacey. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Melissa, that is a powerful confession, glad you got it off your chest and so very glad you are on the sober train with us for yourself and for her. I too am extremely grateful that my bad choices have not resulted in any injuries other than to my own insides, but it could have easily been different and I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself.
Day 10 here, just joining the double digit club. Ill take it!
Happy sober day and night, all!
Day 10 here, just joining the double digit club. Ill take it!
Happy sober day and night, all!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: salt Lake
Posts: 488
Originally Posted by melissa6381
FF was talking about driving earlier and I want to get something out there.
When I was 21 I was driving drunk all the time and finally got a DUI which I was actually happy about because they took my license and I had been scaring myself.
I didn't drink and drive for many many years after that.
Three years ago my friend Lacey was driving with her fiancee to see her parents for Christmas. A drunk woman got on the highway going the wrong way and killed her instantly. Her fiancée lived, but she is gone. She was 30 years old and one of the most beautiful souls I had ever know. We were devastated and all miss her every day.
But here comes my confession: about a year ago I got a new job and my new friends went to bars that weren't taxi friendly for me- so I stated driving home- wasted. I cannot believe I was doing that- such appallingly bad behavior especially with everything that happened with Lacey. I am so ashamed of what I was doing but hope it will help others to realize how powerfully controlling this drug can be in making bad choices for you.
I am not only getting sober for myself but also in the memory of Lacey. Thanks for listening.
When I was 21 I was driving drunk all the time and finally got a DUI which I was actually happy about because they took my license and I had been scaring myself.
I didn't drink and drive for many many years after that.
Three years ago my friend Lacey was driving with her fiancee to see her parents for Christmas. A drunk woman got on the highway going the wrong way and killed her instantly. Her fiancée lived, but she is gone. She was 30 years old and one of the most beautiful souls I had ever know. We were devastated and all miss her every day.
But here comes my confession: about a year ago I got a new job and my new friends went to bars that weren't taxi friendly for me- so I stated driving home- wasted. I cannot believe I was doing that- such appallingly bad behavior especially with everything that happened with Lacey. I am so ashamed of what I was doing but hope it will help others to realize how powerfully controlling this drug can be in making bad choices for you.
I am not only getting sober for myself but also in the memory of Lacey. Thanks for listening.
That was so touching. I bet you were a wonderful friend.
I'm sure she is your angel now and has and will continue to lift you up along your journey Melissa.
THanks for sharing that.
DD - Something i thought i would NEVER do after my DUI at 18. ANd I didn't until In the end when i got real bad. ANd here is my confession. I did it once with my grandson in the car.
That was exactly who I was not! That was not the kind of grandma I was until the addiction took over.
Recently I relapsed after 9 months and I went right back and did it again. I am glad the relapse was only a day. But what I was risking just makes me sick and breaks my heart.
Yes it is an awful overpowering disease!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Melissa, your last post really touched me, it does help to get these things that haunt us off our chests. I too lost my driving licence, when i was 19 and still in college. I had drinks in the day then stupidly drove later on in the evening thinking it was out of my system- it wasnt, i hit black ice and rolled the car 3 times, what makes my heart sink when i think back is that actually tried the ignition to restart the car- how it didnt blow up i dont know.
The police came on the scene and they arrested me. I had only had that car two months. When my parents saw the state of it they cried, not for the car but for the fact that i walked out alive. Remember my mum saying that someone was looking over me, but i shrugged it off, promised to stop drinking got a 1 year ban and within a week i was drunk again on the insurance money, how stupid.
Sadly, when i was 26 i did it again. Id been drinking with a mate from a nearby town he missed the bus, i offered him a sofa to sleep on but he said he had to get home that night. I gave him the lift- about 5miles- on the way home the police tailed me, the game was up. I got a 3yr ban, drank after the courtroom and resented the 'mate' for making me drive drunk. Only it was ME who made that decision, six years later its still affecting my life.
Ive been an idiot, and a selfish fool. I cant believe the bad decisions ive made when drunk. Deeply ashamed by this but felt so touched by Melissa's post that i felt the time was right to get all this from my past out in the open.
On a more positive note, im sober today and know exactly what i have done everyday for the last ten days, no bad decisions and no selfish drunken behaviour and thats how i want it to stay.
The police came on the scene and they arrested me. I had only had that car two months. When my parents saw the state of it they cried, not for the car but for the fact that i walked out alive. Remember my mum saying that someone was looking over me, but i shrugged it off, promised to stop drinking got a 1 year ban and within a week i was drunk again on the insurance money, how stupid.
Sadly, when i was 26 i did it again. Id been drinking with a mate from a nearby town he missed the bus, i offered him a sofa to sleep on but he said he had to get home that night. I gave him the lift- about 5miles- on the way home the police tailed me, the game was up. I got a 3yr ban, drank after the courtroom and resented the 'mate' for making me drive drunk. Only it was ME who made that decision, six years later its still affecting my life.
Ive been an idiot, and a selfish fool. I cant believe the bad decisions ive made when drunk. Deeply ashamed by this but felt so touched by Melissa's post that i felt the time was right to get all this from my past out in the open.
On a more positive note, im sober today and know exactly what i have done everyday for the last ten days, no bad decisions and no selfish drunken behaviour and thats how i want it to stay.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 278
Originally Posted by Fitness1234
So tonight there a meeting I want to go to. My partner has been coming with me but tonight she can't. I am hesitate to go by myself. Day 9
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 278
Originally Posted by melissa6381
FF was talking about driving earlier and I want to get something out there.
When I was 21 I was driving drunk all the time and finally got a DUI which I was actually happy about because they took my license and I had been scaring myself.
I didn't drink and drive for many many years after that.
Three years ago my friend Lacey was driving with her fiancee to see her parents for Christmas. A drunk woman got on the highway going the wrong way and killed her instantly. Her fiancée lived, but she is gone. She was 30 years old and one of the most beautiful souls I had ever know. We were devastated and all miss her every day.
But here comes my confession: about a year ago I got a new job and my new friends went to bars that weren't taxi friendly for me- so I stated driving home- wasted. I cannot believe I was doing that- such appallingly bad behavior especially with everything that happened with Lacey. I am so ashamed of what I was doing but hope it will help others to realize how powerfully controlling this drug can be in making bad choices for you.
I am not only getting sober for myself but also in the memory of Lacey. Thanks for listening.
When I was 21 I was driving drunk all the time and finally got a DUI which I was actually happy about because they took my license and I had been scaring myself.
I didn't drink and drive for many many years after that.
Three years ago my friend Lacey was driving with her fiancee to see her parents for Christmas. A drunk woman got on the highway going the wrong way and killed her instantly. Her fiancée lived, but she is gone. She was 30 years old and one of the most beautiful souls I had ever know. We were devastated and all miss her every day.
But here comes my confession: about a year ago I got a new job and my new friends went to bars that weren't taxi friendly for me- so I stated driving home- wasted. I cannot believe I was doing that- such appallingly bad behavior especially with everything that happened with Lacey. I am so ashamed of what I was doing but hope it will help others to realize how powerfully controlling this drug can be in making bad choices for you.
I am not only getting sober for myself but also in the memory of Lacey. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
Posts: 198
Originally Posted by Starbaby928
Oh man Fitness... This is when I wished we all lived near one another! I would more than happily accompany you to a meeting if you'd accompany me to the gym! :-P
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by fantail
Good morning, day 19!
Had a nice, quiet day yesterday and slept at reasonable hours. Today I woke up feeling... like myself again. Wanting to do things! I'm going to yoga in an hour. The downside is I'm still unemployed, so in some ways getting my energy back is a bummer (what on earth to do with all this time), lol. But in general very glad to feel like if I did get a job offer I'd be able to take it without falling asleep at my desk!
Starbaby -- You could take those events as a gentle reminder to shift your focus from your partner for the time being, but without shutting yourself off from love and friends. Just one way of looking at it.
Had a nice, quiet day yesterday and slept at reasonable hours. Today I woke up feeling... like myself again. Wanting to do things! I'm going to yoga in an hour. The downside is I'm still unemployed, so in some ways getting my energy back is a bummer (what on earth to do with all this time), lol. But in general very glad to feel like if I did get a job offer I'd be able to take it without falling asleep at my desk!
Starbaby -- You could take those events as a gentle reminder to shift your focus from your partner for the time being, but without shutting yourself off from love and friends. Just one way of looking at it.
As far as work, I work for myself, so I have to kick myself in the you-know-what, because suddenly I have lots of projects going. Not complaining! Except they are long-term and will only pay off in time. Just have to keep afloat.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by Mrbeagle
Still going here, on day 6. Been so busy the past few days i've struggled for time to check in. I'm planning on a relaxing bath later so i'll take that opportunity to read up on all your posts.
Hope you are all well
Hope you are all well
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by Starbaby928
Oh man Fitness... This is when I wished we all lived near one another! I would more than happily accompany you to a meeting if you'd accompany me to the gym! :-P
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,388
Originally Posted by Odelle
Good morning all, I am checking in on day 27. So far, so good. This class continues to move forward, in sorrow and in joy. Hang in there everyone, we will all be tested as days go on and in times of despair is when we need to be even more vigilant in protecting our sobriety.
Venuscat, as I shared before, I lost a kitten in January. For the next week, my other cat, Mimi, was acting sick and not eating or drinking water. I was worried that she may have contracted the FIP virus also. I decided not to take her to the vet because if she had the virus there wasn't anything they could do for her. Yes, vets are incredibly expensive. Mimi is fine. I think she may have been depressed after losing her companion or she may have sensed my dismay. Venus may be going through something similar.
Venuscat, as I shared before, I lost a kitten in January. For the next week, my other cat, Mimi, was acting sick and not eating or drinking water. I was worried that she may have contracted the FIP virus also. I decided not to take her to the vet because if she had the virus there wasn't anything they could do for her. Yes, vets are incredibly expensive. Mimi is fine. I think she may have been depressed after losing her companion or she may have sensed my dismay. Venus may be going through something similar.
Thank you.....and I am so so sorry that you had to go through what u did, and lose that lovely little kitten. And what you said was so right ~ that baby had a loving awesome life while she/he was with you, even if it did have to be so short. (hugs)
My dog Andy didn't live here, (I live in a very small flat and he lived with my sister for the last year) but I was worried that Venus was ill from stress, as in me bawling my eyes out the other night; it frightens her. Thought I had caused her to be sick.
Unfortunately, she does have a bladder infection, and she does need to go to the vet. I bit the bullet this morning, and humbled myself.... called them and asked if I can pay half the bill up front and the other half next week (which they do not allow). My vet said yes!!! I can do this...so I am taking her tomorrow morning.
I have no idea how I will have any money left over for food...but what can you do???
Love u and thank you once again,
Venus xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,388
Originally Posted by TigerLili
Day 17.
Venuscat - How is your kitty?
Venuscat - How is your kitty?
Definitely a bladder infection (UTI).
Taking her to the vet tomorrow am, have organised to pay the bill in two parts.
Thank you ~ and all of you ~ for caring.
She will be alright, I feel sure of that....
Love u,
Venus xx
Sober birthday 2/7/13
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 119
Hello all,
Sounds like the universe was tough on many of us this weekend. Almost makes me believe in fate or astrology or something
I too had a really crappy Saturday and too busy of a Sunday. Nearly cried at the dinner table at a restaurant Sat night in the middle of a large party. I just felt so raw and for no reason. My AV popped in and tried to say it was because I wan't drinking like everyone else. But I immediately pushed that aside. My iced tea was fine, no one looked twice or commented. I was just having a downer and letting it get the better of me. So I played some tic tac toe with my son until I started breathing and behaving like a grownup. Then it all fell together fine. I had just been planning a better dinner party in my head than what ended up, and that is what happens sometimes in life. No sense brooding about it. Glad I wan't drinking or I would have stayed huffy and made the evening unbearable for my husband.
The "I gave it up for lent" worked well both times I used it over the weekend! One friend actually blessed me for it then apologized for bringing alcohol over (Sun night we hosted dinner for some friends we haven't seen in a while). I admit, when serving dinner, I nearly grabbed the wine out of the fridge to drink and take to the table (yes i would always drink one first in the kitchen then head to the table to have a glass and share…) but caught myself, and smiled. Retraining the autopilot will take a long time.
I pop in during the day when I can to keep up on all your beautiful posts. I'm so proud to be with a group of such strong souls. Watching us grow and empower and lean on each other -becoming our own little family keeps me strong. Strong for myself and strong for you.
Day 26.
Sounds like the universe was tough on many of us this weekend. Almost makes me believe in fate or astrology or something
I too had a really crappy Saturday and too busy of a Sunday. Nearly cried at the dinner table at a restaurant Sat night in the middle of a large party. I just felt so raw and for no reason. My AV popped in and tried to say it was because I wan't drinking like everyone else. But I immediately pushed that aside. My iced tea was fine, no one looked twice or commented. I was just having a downer and letting it get the better of me. So I played some tic tac toe with my son until I started breathing and behaving like a grownup. Then it all fell together fine. I had just been planning a better dinner party in my head than what ended up, and that is what happens sometimes in life. No sense brooding about it. Glad I wan't drinking or I would have stayed huffy and made the evening unbearable for my husband.
The "I gave it up for lent" worked well both times I used it over the weekend! One friend actually blessed me for it then apologized for bringing alcohol over (Sun night we hosted dinner for some friends we haven't seen in a while). I admit, when serving dinner, I nearly grabbed the wine out of the fridge to drink and take to the table (yes i would always drink one first in the kitchen then head to the table to have a glass and share…) but caught myself, and smiled. Retraining the autopilot will take a long time.
I pop in during the day when I can to keep up on all your beautiful posts. I'm so proud to be with a group of such strong souls. Watching us grow and empower and lean on each other -becoming our own little family keeps me strong. Strong for myself and strong for you.
Day 26.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 13
Hi friends, thanks for all the updates!
Melissa/1Stepup- thanks for the shares. I guess part of the process is realizing where we've allowed drinking to impact our lives. Reminds me of a lot of my 'moments' as well. Le sigh.
Day 8 & I can't believe I've made it this far! Twice over the weekend I was tempted to drink but thankfully didn't. Went to Disneyland w some friends (I live in la). My husband was getting a giant turkey leg & while he was in line asked if I wanted anything. I made the motion for a drink. He looked at the menu and made the 'they don't have beer at this booth' face. I shrugged and went the rest of the day not thinking of it (although he & my friends were drinking). This morning in bed I told him how it was a blessing they didn't have booze & his response was, "well maybe they did but I wanted to help you." Ah, he's a saint & knows me so well.
Before this journey I offered to host a product launch party at my house. Today the head of the product said he might take me up on that offer this weekend. I'm a smidge worried but also kind of excited that I can finally be a great hostess without being sloppy drunk as I'm know I normally was. Eeks, thankfully I have my husband and I've too used the "gave it up for lent" excuse.
Hugs,
Rosie
Melissa/1Stepup- thanks for the shares. I guess part of the process is realizing where we've allowed drinking to impact our lives. Reminds me of a lot of my 'moments' as well. Le sigh.
Day 8 & I can't believe I've made it this far! Twice over the weekend I was tempted to drink but thankfully didn't. Went to Disneyland w some friends (I live in la). My husband was getting a giant turkey leg & while he was in line asked if I wanted anything. I made the motion for a drink. He looked at the menu and made the 'they don't have beer at this booth' face. I shrugged and went the rest of the day not thinking of it (although he & my friends were drinking). This morning in bed I told him how it was a blessing they didn't have booze & his response was, "well maybe they did but I wanted to help you." Ah, he's a saint & knows me so well.
Before this journey I offered to host a product launch party at my house. Today the head of the product said he might take me up on that offer this weekend. I'm a smidge worried but also kind of excited that I can finally be a great hostess without being sloppy drunk as I'm know I normally was. Eeks, thankfully I have my husband and I've too used the "gave it up for lent" excuse.
Hugs,
Rosie
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,388
Hello my lovely classmates!
DAY 30. Yes. It's here. And it is a miracle. And I am incredibly grateful. And I love you guys very very much....this journey we are taking together is powerful and inspiring ~ I am proud of all of us!!!
Mel,
I did it too....over and over and over. Yes, thank God I never hurt anyone, but like you 1stepup I had such a horrific accident that my father sobbed his heart out when he saw the remains of my car. I almost went off the biggest bridge we have in Melbourne, and I sliced the side of the car open like a tin can, all whilst having passed out....woke up with my head in my hand to see my side mirror get ripped off, and managed to control the car just enough to stop me diving off that bridge to my death.
And oh yes, I kept on doing it. Even after that. OMG.
Thank God we don't have to take those horrible risks any more. Thank God we're all still alive.
Mel, I am so sorry about Lacey, and so very proud of you. Honoring her like this is very powerful, and I agree with Kitty, she is your angel now, watching over you.
Love you all lots,
Venus xx
DAY 30. Yes. It's here. And it is a miracle. And I am incredibly grateful. And I love you guys very very much....this journey we are taking together is powerful and inspiring ~ I am proud of all of us!!!
Mel,
I did it too....over and over and over. Yes, thank God I never hurt anyone, but like you 1stepup I had such a horrific accident that my father sobbed his heart out when he saw the remains of my car. I almost went off the biggest bridge we have in Melbourne, and I sliced the side of the car open like a tin can, all whilst having passed out....woke up with my head in my hand to see my side mirror get ripped off, and managed to control the car just enough to stop me diving off that bridge to my death.
And oh yes, I kept on doing it. Even after that. OMG.
Thank God we don't have to take those horrible risks any more. Thank God we're all still alive.
Mel, I am so sorry about Lacey, and so very proud of you. Honoring her like this is very powerful, and I agree with Kitty, she is your angel now, watching over you.
Love you all lots,
Venus xx
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