Tippingpoint

BBF - I really connect with the AVRT method. I haven't read the book yet though - I actually ordered it a few weeks ago but it never came. For some reason, I think I may have had the wrong shipping address on my amazon account. There might be a friend of mine in BC wondering why I've sent her a book on alcoholism!

I can send you the crash course online for AVRT if you'd like. I think I still have the links. If not I can get them for you.

I'm also reading the Allen Carr book right now too....Easyway. Im not done it yet but have found it helpful too. He really works at tearing down our romantic ideas of alcohol and it's perceived virtues. Maintaining sobriety and committing yourself to forever is a little easier when you see alcohol for what it is...poison that happens to be addictive. He contends that everyone who drinks - including all the "normal" drinkers out there - are addicts. It's good stuff and I think it fits well with the AVRT method.

I'll look for the links to the crash course for you BBF.

Chimp

Hi All!

Just a quick one! I am still here and am sober!!!

I had a huge drunk last Sunday night, last Sunday, but I won't go into details yet. Just, I have hit rock bottom but I am happy!

Why????

Because after 12 years of struggling I have finally told my Dad the truth, told him I am an alcoholic. Told the man I love most everything that has happened in those 12 years. To have done that means I am powerless. I just woke up Tuesday morning and did it!

Thank GOD!!!

I can not describe what it means to me to have done this. One, he is a drinker and I would often use my time with him as an opportunity to drink. Two, because there is no one on this planet I want more on my side than my dad, I have always feared disappointing him. You know how it is:

Wait till your Dad get's home!!!

But I told him, all the important people in my life now know that I am an alocholic and they will support me and I told them because I have finally accepted Step 1. I am powerless in the face of alcohol. Powerless enough to confront my hugest fear and tell my Dad!

Love to you all,

Chimp!

Dee74

glad to hear you're back with us Chimp - and I'm glad you have no more secrets with loved ones

Whats your plan from here then?

D

instant

Chimp good to see you back again.

Got pulled over by the cops on Roadisde Breathtest Unit last night. I passed !!!

To think I lived in fear of those guys

Paddyb

Hi Instant

I was talking to a chap at AA this year, and we spoke about getting pulled over by the cops, and he said, i once got pulled over, and the cop said when was the last time you had any alcohol to drink sir, and the chap came right back with 10 of march 1998, that made me laugh, he said the cop just looked at him and said on your way then lol

Tippingpoint

Every year in Toronto the police are out in full force Dec. 1 with roadside inspections and sobriety tests. I can remember last year snaking my way down side streets and backroads in the hopes of evading them.

On Saturday night when we were on our way home from our Christmas party I was actually hoping that we would get pulled over so that I could look the officer in the eye and make my claim to sobriety! Of course we didn't see a single road check that night!

You're sounding good PaddyB...and this a Monday! Proud of ya bub.

Tuesday24

Hey everyone

Glad to see you back Chimp!

Keep fighting Kate. When I read your post about only thinking about today, it stuck with me. That was one of the major things that kept me drinking. FEAR. I was afraid of EVERYTHING. Being sober for a while now, I am beginning to understand that I dont have to live like that anymore. It isnt always perfect- but I am always in control.

So happy to see everyone posting.

instant

There are usually many positives in the now if we choose to experience them

StreamWader

Hello All

Lots of positives going on here. Good to see. Keep plugging way everyone.

bblackbirdflyy

Hey guys. I missed posting yesterday but I am on day 4. I would appreciate the links for AVRT, yes please. The sun is out. So today is a good day,

I think a moajor problem of mine is being apologetic for who I am.... feeling unworthy while being in the presense of others. I am not going to worry about it so much anymore. I am just going to love myself. Something I have been unable to do for a long time.

Now for my confession. I blacked out in my car 5 days ago, while on the phone saying god knows what to a friend of mine whom I really valued. He has not talked with me since. I have no Idea what I said. I remember saying "HEY BABY" then balnk. but phone timer says 1:47. I can not remember driving. That is the scariest part. I could have easily killed someone. I was so shaken the next day that I was checking the headlines for hit and runs. there is a small dent on my front bumper that wasn't there before. My victim was most likely a mailbox. God was watching out for me. It easily could have been a human. Then where would I be? Jail. lost. no children. no freedom. full of remorse for the rest of my life. eek.

I resolve to love myself. Sober. I will never drink to cope again. I will never drink for fun. It is just not for me. PERIOD. I am out of control when it comes to alcohol. I WILL NOT DRINK.

LIFE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. why have I been throwing it all away? because I feel sorry for myself? F*ck that. I am not sorry for myself. From now on I will look everyone dead in their eyes. I will be confident in speech. I am good. I am kind. I will live this life to the best of my ability.

instant

Katie you have been through a lot. I think you are on the money about the self criticism etc. In my experience my mood and general sense of well being really picked up after 3 months. The way you feel might not be the problem.

Alcohol was my 'go to' coping method.

The impact of drinking is costing you a lot, and it's getting dangerous. Is there anything else you can do to stay sober?

Dee74

There's an AVRT thread in our secular connections forum Katie - might be worth reading if you're interested in that approach

That blackout sounds really scary. I'm constantly amazed at the things we did and somehow came through ok....must be a reason, yeah?

D

leo21

All those things ring so true Katie in that, just like myself, when you drink your life becomes unmanageable.

I had to repeat that phrase many times over to make myself believe it and then do something about it. It's not over yet, and you can still recover. I believe in you!!

Tippingpoint

Hey Katie...

REally glad that you're okay. I just resent the links to you on the AVRT stuff...I sent them to another "blackbirdfly" the other night...got your name right this time!

bblackbirdflyy

5. it was super scary. Cried all day the next day. I am so lucky to be alive. Yes, there must be a reason. Someone was looking out for me, you know?

StreamWader

Hey Katie,

I'm sure you can, I'm sure you are and I'm sure you will.
And so, take a deep breath and cograts on day 5.

instant

hope it is all going well everyone and you are still on track Katie.

I have had a busy week and have to do my Xmas shopping tonight. It is 6am and I am sitting on the deck with my laptop drinking tea, listening to the birds get organised for their day. I will be taking my daughter swimming before she goes to school.

I went out to a show last night and felt relaxed and had a good time. Previously I would be looking for the drinking angle, and after last night would have come home and drank wine.

I am much calmer and cope better. This is a better way of living.

Dee74

((Katie))

D

bblackbirdflyy

6. morning. Well love you guys. I have a lot I could ramble on about. I will spare ya. I had a very bad day yesterday and AV hit me hard. Went to bed at 530. yep. slept until 6am . I guess I was emotionally spent and needed the rest.

thank you for the hugs.

leo21

Keep it up blackbird - I promise that each moment of sobriety can pay off in the end if you let it. Keep your chin up and try to use all your tools on a daily basis. I had to be so mindful in the beginning and do extreme things to keep sober and cigarette free early on. Probably the first week I would leave my wallet and stuff at home in the mornings.....only bring maybe a dollar bill and my license and pack a lunch. This prevented my AV from taking over in that I had restricted myself from having the capability to go buy and drink. All my money and bank cards were tucked away in a drawer.