bblackbirdflyy

Hiyo! I lost track of my days. I took a tip from buelah and decided to get out there and enjoy life instead being glued to my computer. I think I am on day 50. That sounds about right.

I kissed my firefighter friend. It was awesome! Hope it happens again. No luck on the job front. But it seems I will be moving back into my house come the first of the year. The devil, I mean, B, has decided that he doesnt want it.

Happy to read that most are doing well.

Paddy. I hope the storm passes you very soon. The weather is fantastic over here. Its just so calm, clear, sunny.

We had our first snow today. It was beautiful to wake up to a blanket of white.

Safe journies and I will check in again soon.

xoxoxox katie

instant

Hey Katie stay safe, stay bright.

There is a sober meter on the main page of Sober Recovery for when you lose track, it calculates sober heartbeats as well.

I am getting very excited. I am 179 days. On the 15th I will have completed 6 calendar months sober (if I make it). I know it is only one day at a time but still!!.

Pumpkin Soup

Hi all,

Sorry I have left a long time until posting again.

Its rather trying living here at the mo with the builders in and the stuff from that room spread all over the house and the plaster dust being trodden in everywhere and me without a hoover (its being repaired). However thanks to either the Prozac or the AA programme or a combination of both I am able to handle it without getting too stressed or wound up. There are many moments of frustration though.

Instant I have every confidence you will make your six months and beyond. Me too! I got my 5 month chip and I really see no point in going back.

Paddy it sounds like you are getting there - like I did with alot of circling going on - the hangovers and cravings do get worse each time you go back after stopping so soon enough I hope you will be able to win over the cravings with the knowledge its only going to take you further back and harder to get over each time. I would say my number 1 fear is going back to those days and having cravings to drink again. They really do go away - I havent had any for ages - maybe they will sneak up on me now and then but the more time I have gone without the more incentive I have not to go back.

I have nearly finished my step 4 and will be doing step 5 with my sponsor in the next couple of weeks. All this shenanigans in the house has slowed me down even more. I was afraid of doing the step 5 and sharing all my darkest secrets but I am now looking forward to it and moving forward through the programme.

My depression really does seem to have left me I am so happy and grateful. I find myself smiling and feeling happy for no reason often during most days which is a miracle!

Keep at it folks I will try not to leave it so long between posts. I usually read the thread most days to see how you are all doing and if anyone ever wanted to contact me then send me a PM and I will get an email so I will get back to you as soon as I can.

It was around this time last year when I first joined this site and although I didnt do very well immediately I am finally feeling confident I am not fighting a losing battle anymore and a very great part of that is due to this website and everyone involved with it.

Thank you all so much.

Debbie xxxxx

StreamWader

Hello Juners!

Full moon was beautiful driving into work this morning but I probably won't see it tonight. We are having our first snow fall right now and it is supposed to stay overcast.

I'm feeling pretty good. No drinking urges but still avoiding certain scenarios that may lead to a bad situation. Going to see the doctor tomorrow. The knee is much better but still sore. I am boarder line high with my blood pressure but am hoping the last month or so without drinking and the mild meds i was put on two weeks ago have helped that situation.

Katie and Debbie - Wow, you guys are sounding positive and that is so good to hear. Keep those positive vibes flowing!

Instant and Tp - Man, you guys are just crushing the sober meter! What a major plus to head into the holiday season confident in your commitment to stay sober.

Chimp - Hows business? Still on that "I did it!"
high? I hope so!

Paddy - Stay the course. Pick yourself up and try again. I do.

Bratnik - Send me a note. I'll explain.

Tuesday - Is the knee feeling better? I sure hope so as I can certainly emphasize with you.

Paddyb

HI Peeps

Just back from me 2nd meeting in 2 days and tomorrow will be my 3rd day.

I feel stronger this time and talking to people at the meeting helps, and i to prob help them in a way.

A little song i heard today, just made me smile and glow in side, i have posted a link Enjoy

Paolo Nutini - Candy (Video) - YouTube

Tuesday24

You made me smile with your post "edit" Stream, thanks for thinking of me. It has been 2 and a half weeks since my surgery and I am managing. I am still non-weight bearing, so I get around with my crutches and rehab brace. I start my first day of 6 months of intensive physiotherapy next week. The pain has subsided a bit- or I have just gotten used to it...

So happy to "see" you gals- Kate and Debbie. You both sound great and so strong. Fireman?!?...did I miss something Kate?? do tell.... lol

Paddy, glad to see you!!! I would avoid using dates...11/11/11 etc. as a "sobriety date". I have read quite a few fellow members posts that had mentioned "starting over" on a special date. That is your AV telling you that it is okay to drink...don't listen.

Much love to all xoxo

instant

Well looking on the supersitous side we also have the mysterious "extra" page, that makes it look like we are "always one page behind".

Debbie the good news seems to be the work will be over by Xmas. Tuesday and Stream will be more mobile and you will be 6 months by then as well!

A colleague asked me for a drink afterwork. I was taken aback and declined saying that "I don't drink much these days", I did add "it doesn't do too much for my personality" and laughed. I guess both of these things are true, but I did not really feel comfortable saying any more. We have had a tough time instigating a project we were given. It is clear though that she enjoys a drink and a good time.

Most people know I avoid work functions- most don't really know why as I have not really blown out in front of work colleagues.

It's friday, the moon is full, I am sober, I feel at home on SR- what's not to like?

Tippingpoint

instant

Quack, Quack I love the detail TP

LTJimmie

Hello all, group seems to have slowed down a lot lately. Guess some of the more active members are elsewhere. Hope they are still on their sober path! I have been back 3 weeks from out west and am now working locally for another 2 weeks or so, worked all this week. I am enjoying this job, it is about 85 Km from my home but the job actually is right down my alley in terms of experience and I am enjoying that. Good people to work for and they are actually organized which is great. Been sober these 3 weeks and no issues, have had an urge to indulge a few tiumes but just a wee urge. Making some small progress on my Hot Rod project so that is good but have to spend some $$ this week that I didn't expect to spend.

LTJimmie

instant

I have a bit more money in my pocket as well Jimmie. Keep up the good work.

Here they sell wine in 5litre boxes, they are cheap about $10-12 Aus. It is amazing that you can buy alcohol so cheaply, it means even the poorest can afford to get wasted every day. In a way it is predatory pricing. I am trying not to turn into an crusading anti alcohol zealot !!

Chimp

Stream, you have no idea. Sorry, I have not been on here the past few days but it has been a difficult few days but nothing to do with drink. And yes Stream, I still am on that high.

I put a huge ammount of work into what I did and it came through... what larks!

The difficulty has been between me and my gf. All is ok now but I think the pressures of the past few months and with Christmas coming up, all the strains came out but I think we have both dealt with them maturely.

Lots of love to you all!

Chimp!

instant

Remember Chimp you will never play for West Ham if you return to drink, keep up the good work.

Had a drinking dream last night, although I did not actually drink but I was thinking about it in the dream. We go to visit my wife's family at Xmas and so I need to get ready to be able to cope with that scenario.

Pumpkin Soup

Hi everyone,

I am very happy to report that I have finally, at last, completed my step 4!!!! Yippee, hoorah and thank f*** for that. I realised today when I sat down to do it that I was probably putting off finishing cos of the one person in my sex inventory - my recent ex. As it turned out that part wasnt too hard to do but then when I was writing down what I would want in my "ideal partner", after laughing to myself at my expectations and demands, I found myself thinking "do I really deserve someone like that". It made me feel a little sad. Then I realised I really just wanted someone to be quite like me and how I would be to them. The whole step 4 process has been very interesting, enlightening and therapeutic. Now all I have to share it all with my sponsor and we just have to agree a time when we both are free for long enough.

Unlike this time last year I am not really thinking about Christmas much yet. Last year all I could think about was how I could possibly get through it without a drink. Im aware I will always have to be on guard and that demon may creep up on me unexpectedly but it doesnt worry me like it did before. That makes me feel pretty confident however I try to remind myself whenever I think ahead that all I can do is get through this day.

The builders have finished although they didnt clear up properly - there is blobs of plaster over the built in wardrobes and window ledges - I can only presume he didnt notice it as he was only papering the walls and painting them and the ceiling. The company have been in touch to ask if I am happy and I have told them about the mess and now waiting to see if they will send someone to sort it out - I hope they dont send the same guy it will be uncomfortable but im not going to pretend everything is fine when it isnt. I find it hard dealing with things like that the guy was really nice but I was disappointed to come home from work and find it not properly finished and its time I grew up and dealt with things like a proper adult. Im still learning. All this is alien to me.

All in all everything is good - its great at least having some space back downstairs now the girls can go back in their room even if its not completely finished yet.

Through all the frustration these past weeks I have not once thought to drink because of it -that is a major accomplishment - I hope it continues.

Im glad the knees are improving Stream and Tuesday. Instant - when exactly is your big 6 month date - it must be soon? Im so happy for you - and for all of us following along in the same upward direction.

Paddy are you looking for a sponsor now? Its important I think to find the right person but if you feel you need to start working the steps sooner to keep you on track you can get a temporary one to start you off. I put alot of my success down to my sponser, she has become a great friend and I see her as my angel. However I think I will do the steps more than once - just to get difference angles on them - I am trying my hardest to do them as thouroughly (SP?) and honestly as possible but I believe I will benefit from different approaches and advice in the sober years I have ahead of me.

Huh - there I was talking about keeping it in the day and then Im talking about doing the steps again when I havent even done them once. Haha.

Are you still getting to meetings Chimp?

Loved those pics TP - I must try and remember to show them to my brother tomorrow - he loves ducks.

Hope you're all having a happy weekend.

instant

Pumpkin seems like not only I need a bit of assertiveness training !! I either go along with things or explode I really don't have good skills in the middle area !!

I will be six months on the 15th.My wife and I are taking the kids out for dinner (probably next weekend) to celebrate. As I have been at 6 months before it has been important for me to get here so then I feel I will be breaking new ground. In truth this time has been a lot different, I thought before that I had conquered the alcohol thing, and I caved because I felt I deserved it after working so hard in different areas of my life. I knew I was kidding myself, although I really didn't have a feel/ knowledge for the whole "craving" / AVRT thing. Things didn't get bad right away and really I have been "giving up" ever since then at varying levels of commitment.

This time I really thought a lot about the first few steps, and surrendered to my powerlessness, it really does make a big difference.

instant

just checking in crew.

Pumpkin Soup

Where is everybody???

Jim - I definately have an assertiveness problem - I am going to work on that!

StreamWader

Hello Mid-Month Juners!

Another successful weekend, I hope everyone else fared as well. Bday celebration yesterday for my middle daughter. Very Nice. Saturday morning I enjoyed a beautiful sunrise in the woods. Even cooler was that the moon was so brilliant I walked to my stand by the light of the moon without a flashlight before sunrise. Later in the morning I had a small buck eating apples about 30 meters away but he was so contented that I did not have the heart to take a shot. After about 20 minutes he wandered away fat and happy and so was I.

Have a good week to everyone!

Tippingpoint

Great post Wade!

Really good to hear you posting so positively!

I grew up in North Western Ontario where everyone hunts moose and more recently deer. While I enjoyed hunting ducks and partridge and the like I never had any interest in hunting moose. Didn't think I'd be able to pull the trigger either.

I had a very realistic drinking/using dream last night - whiskey and cocaine. Had to wake myself up and take some time before heading back to sleep. Hate those dreams.

I'm feeling strong.

Tuesday24

Hi Everyone. Just checking in. Things are going well here although I am going a bit stir crazy. I cannot drive or walk without my crutches- stairs are a problem! So I have been laying low. Glad to see that everyone is doing well.