SwanSong

Yes, I feel for those in Japan too. I'll be making a contribution to a donation once my company sets the fund up.

Hey Dee, glad to see you made it back. Seems like I just read the post that you were taking a leave, now you're already back! Hope your downtime was replenishing! Was that like 1 week, 2..? Didn't seem that long mate!

TDC- I hear you about the password thang man. I work with computers and even so, or maybe because of that , well you know I have so many passwords and I'm often resetting the dang things because I end up trying to be so secure I forget what I made them!

Really- I finally bypassed the ellipticals and went straight for a real jog, first time in 5-6 months, my legs are killing me but in a good way. Feels good to slowly start getting back into my workout routine. I hope to be in shape enough to start rock climbing (indoors at first) again in about 2 months.

Congrats on days 164 TDC. When you say 'long' bike ride, how far is that? I'm still getting adjusted to riding my bike, I need to find somewhere I feel comfortable around here biking for a longer distance, or consider lapping this lake out here (it's 5 miles around), not that I'm a distance cyclist but I think it would be fun to use it for that too vs. just to get places!

Alright I'm gonna go geek out with my playstation and then clean, it's sprinkling outside so happy I got a good jog in yesterday!

Hills, Akasha, Isa hope you are all doing well today too!

grateful101010

Moo Moos: Thanks for your honesty. Hope you stay here with us.

"Drinking in moderation? WTF would I want to do that? I want to drink enough to really mess my life up for a few days. Otherwise it's no fun!"

/Only an AA would understand this.

Really4Real

Actually, Grateful... I understand that perfectly (or unfortunately...) - IF I would ever drink, moderation wouldn't even enter into my vocabulary. It would only be wishful thinking on my part, but I'm finding other ways to 'workout' stress - pun intended Although sometimes, even working out leaves me hyper - crazy....

Anyway, glad you took a break Dee! I thought it was something worse - THAT would've been a bummer. Welcome back to the grind!

Swan - get some good shoes if you're going to pursue the running -- it really does help. Rock climbing sounds like a BLAST! I would like to try that sometime, too.

I'm doing well - physically (and getting there emotionally). My energy is back and life is ok.

Hope everyone has a great night!

Really4Real

Oops... sorry TDC - didn't mean to leave ya out. Little job security going there, huh?
And congrats on your anniversary! Odd - ours will be 22 years also.... not until October though. It can still be done - through better and worse
Don't forget to take a breather for yourself once in a while...

tomdecel

I am slowly returning to "normalcy". I need to start posting more often, right?

I am training to do a century ride in April. I try to do a couple of them every year and spend three or four months training for them. This way I am not just riding my bike, I am "training" for an event.

The one I am doing April 30 is a run to one of those "legendary" Mexican restaurants in the middle of nowhere in El Centro, CA (farm country). Limited to 150 riders. We ride 100 miles, feast on Mexican food at the end and ride a bus back to the start. There will be a lot of drinking at the restaurant and on the bus ride back (the organizers assure us).

I am already working on my abstention. Instead of seeing myself having two or three beers after the ride like everyone else, I see myself as having two or three pitchers, slobbering all over, totally out of control and peeing on my pants. No way would I do that, so why start with two or three.

Our Sunday club rides are 40 miles +/-, but we have an early bird group that meets 12 to 15 miles from the start an hour earlier AND some of us do an early early bird ride to the EB and then to the start. So by the time we get back to our cars (or homes) we will have put in anywhere from 70 to 90 miles. Last Sunday we did 80 and yesterday was 70 (OK, 69.2).

By the way, I appreciate your comments about the 164 days, but I posted the number just as reference not to pat myself or anything. It is just amazing to me that with all the turmoil in my life in the past 10 days or so, never has getting inTOXICated ever came into my mind. I think this here SR is working for me this time around. Thanks to all for being here.

SwanSong

I just had a friend of mine, she and me have a connection but when she was working out of my office she was married yet going through a divorce. So back then we used to hang out, go out for wine, sometimes smoke a little green, the typical san francisco night out when you're still partying. Honestly, we always had a good time, I never saw her drunk myself nor did I get drunk around her. We just kicked it as friends, so I gained respect for her even though she wasn't living with her soon to be ex-husband. Well she works out of our headquarters now (about an hour away) and the divorce has finalized. So we ended up on ***** messenger yesterday and my goodness, the conversation somewhere along the way went to her talking about doing tequila shots with me and going on a tropical vacation together. I had to just take a deep breath and remind myself that it never, ever, 'ever' changes. It was not disclosed to her that I had quit drinking (and smoking weed) simply because I didn't find it all that relevant for most of our conversation and I do realize she was largely joking but it was a stark reminder of things I'll need to look out for. When I say she was largely joking, she ended our conversation without actually attempting to make any plans at all (which is fine) and she had already told me she's been dating around (to the tune of several guys, mostly off of match.com). Her ex was a high level executive at a large company, she likely has lots of money to play with now. And I know if I wanted to I could have drawn any of her jokes about hanging out into reality.

To be quite honest, there's a lady friend of mine in AA, oh sure to some extent both of these girls are a bit crazy (who isn't? I know I am!) but I definitely find a woman who's trying to live a sober lifestyle much more attractive now . I have no idea if she's dating multiple guys too, I suspect probably not. That's also vastly more appealing than someone who's dating around....(and I'm sure dating around means having sex too- I don't want to become judgmental but I'm just not as interested in engaging in my old behaviors and that means that when I was single, I was largely 'dating around' myself - it was probably 3-4 years since my last relationship).

I will say it was an interesting chat conversation we had yesterday, mostly because I was SO attracted to this woman last year yet we didn't want to do anything until her divorce was finalized. Now that it is, I'm finding myself pulling back because I don't want to jeopardize my sobriety and also I know in my heart of hearts I wouldn't be happy if I started drinking again just so I could be with this woman. I guess I have to remind myself that true happiness doesn't come from outside, and we shouldn't have to change ourselves to be with somebody else....not if we are happy with who we are and how we are living.

Really4Real

Swan - Thanks for being so honest and transparent! I for one am really, really happy / proud for you -- of you... whatever. You're being true to yourself (see, I do remember something from my very ancient AA days). It WOULD be so easy to fall back into old patterns and all that when it comes to other people being involved. Especially since you're still relatively new at the sobriety thing (as I am). But you can probably see in your own life how far you've come since Day 1 through all this... ie. You don't want to jeopardize your sobriety. Great job!

TDC - I suppose your toe issue got better?? Btw, what exactly is normalcy? Been trying to figure that one out for years

Moo Moos

hi folks, just a quick post to say hello and to tell you I am doing well back in the land of reality. Day 10 for me..gutted as it could have been a lot longer. I know it is only a number but it amazing how proud you become of the time clocked. On the other hand it was a very important learning curve and to be honest I am still surprised the damage was not more than the three drinks...with my history it could have been 3 days, 3 weeks or years so for that I am truly grateful.

I had a great weekend, action packed with football matches, dropping, collecting, visiting and visitors which was great. My dad is in a home, he has dementia and had to have his leg amputated 2 years ago due to health complications...well he finally got a motorized wheelchair...teaching him to drive properly nearly has me on Valium. Boy did I watch some serious crashes over the weekend. Imagine being run over in your old folks home by another resident lol lol So brilliant to see the freedom he has gained though....Im rambling again.

Swan Thanks a mill for a really interesting post. So funny how our prospective on things change when sober and wanting to live a sober life. Its great that you recognize the warning signs and risks. I always enjoy reading your posts

Really: glad you are feeling a little better. I get the whole tired thing also. I spent a small fortune this week on vitamins just trying to put a spring back in my step. Funny if I was dehydrated prior to sobriety you'd imagine I would be better now but I don't drink enough water and I know that has a knock on effect on lack of energy I have. Hopefully your energy will bounce back shortly too.

Tom glad to hear things are coming back, I am dazzled by the distances you cycle. It must be great to have the freedom on the road. Now that would get my energy levels up. Well done you to be preparing mentally for the trip and the encounters with alcohol. Thats what I had done but all my best laid plans just got swept away in the sunshine of Madrid!! Well it can stay in Madrid too!!

Anyway must go..need some sleep my eldest daughter was 15 today so it has been all go...I felt so emotional today as she seems to be growing up so fast. She is such a lovely girl and I know I am biased but everyone says it about her and she makes me very proud!! Long may she remain that way..more rambling..ps...its freezing here in Ireland. Night Night all Hils

Dee74

I'm glad your dad has some mobility again Hils - that's great

and..try not to worry about the days...I believe we never lose all the things we learned on our journey - unless we choose to throw them away

D

Really4Real

Hi Hils! Yep, I'm feeling A-OK. Energy has returned and feeling good. Water is very important to me -- in fact, I have only one cup of coffee when I first wake up and then at work I drink two - three 10 oz cups of hot water before lunch - they won't let me have caffeine at work One cup of coffee in the afternoon (or tea) and another cup or so of water. I think it helps speed metabolism too...

Anyhow... I'm pretty beat - I'm training for a half-marathon (my third, but first one that I'm actually injury-free and ready for).

Nite!

SwanSong

Hi everyone!

Yes, Hills I'm with you - those numbers that TDC bikes are very foreign to me! That's really awesome Tom that you bike so far. My first goal is to focus on getting back into shape via my regular work out methods, over time I may start using my bike for more exercise vs. just utilitarian purposes (especially once the weather changes, it's been drizzling to raining all week, I'm not planning to risk a spill on wet roads) but even if not it's very cool to have an alternate means of transportation. Ok, haha I guess for 11 more months my only means (aside from my feet) but you know what I mean. I'll still ride it once I get my license back.

Hills, I'm happy to hear your pops got some mobility too! and yeah, don't get run down when your visiting him!

Really- happy to hear your energy has returned! And that 1/2 marathon, when is it? I'm going for another jog tonight, I got up to about 6 or 7 miles when I was climbing and diving, never really pushed it beyond that. First I need to get back to where I was but I think I may join you and start training for 13.1 too! (ok, ok 21.1km! sure, we can use your system! haha).

Dee it is good to have you back mate!

And yeah, I wouldn't worry about the days Hills, as dee said they will start ticking away into weeks and months soon enough. It's nice to see you posting happy posts again!

SwanSong

Wow, totally exhausted. I managed a 6 mile jog tonight. I guess that whole theory about muscle memory is true.

Hope everyone had a great day, I'm going to collapse!

Dee74

That's some jog Swan LOL

D

Really4Real

Great Job on the run, Swan!! Just an FYI... you did about an equivalent of what Tom does on the bike - 'they' say that running mileage is about 1/3-1/4 cycling mileage (depending on where you're reading it). So, you did excellent! I hope to get my bike working soon -- weather's starting to clear up here too. My half is next month - April 17.

Have a wonderful rest of the day - or morning... depending on when you're reading this!

Moo Moos

Hi all. Doing ok...terrible day yesterday as my dad suffered a severe stroke. Critical at the mo..so sad just when he was getting some independence. Im ok my first sober st patricks day. Thank god im not drinking at least im available for hospital day or night. Hope your all ok. Hils

SwanSong

Hills, so sorry to hear about your day.

Being sober and available is definitely a gift worth hanging on to.

You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers.

Really4Real

Hey Hils - Sorry to hear about your dad. I'll be saying some prayers for him and you... peace and wisdom to you during this time. I've definitely thought of me not drinking whenever there was a relative sick or whatever - a plus in any and every situation!

I'm doing well... getting ready to go home for the evening and then go to a buffet to eat lots of fish and 'stuff' - good - I'm hungry

SwanSong

Yum! Food!

Good morning everyone! Kicking the weekend off with no hangover, no desire to drink, just a really good feeling about life and what's yet to come.

I hope you all have a great day, my sponsor is coming over this morning, we're gonna go get my tire replaced then on Monday we are heading up to Tahoe for a few days! Unless he gets a call about work, I'll finally get to snowboard this season! I'm totally stoked, last season was a 40 day season this year may only be 2 or so but I'll have my license back next year and if I'm still with my same company I'll probably have enough vacation to take a full month off and you know what - I might just do that! =P

Ok, back to now, I hope you all have a great, sane sober day. I've got some bills to pay (yuck) haha!

Dee74

Gee - I'm so sorry I missed the post about your Dad hils...I really hope things are better now.

D

Really4Real

Swan - snowboarding sounds fun -- betcha get lots exercise that way too. Yeah, the buffet was good... I was good too. One heaping plate of salad with shrimp on top and lots of fish! Definitely got some protein going on.

I'm actually doing great. Had the thought run through my head today though that it would be 'nice' to have some kind of 'specialty' drink, though I don't know how to make any and I was never a fan of them... definitely not going to look up how to make any either

Hils - hope you're holding up ok... peace to you.

Have a good Sunday -- since it seems I don't really get on here until late night lately.