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Class of October 2010 Sobriety Group Part 3

Old 01-23-2011, 12:04 AM
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Doh, I forgot to say THANK YOU Really! Happy to put one more milestone behind me and absolutely thrilled about just living sober...
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Old 01-23-2011, 01:08 PM
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Well, this is such a nice day! Sun is shining - took the dog for a short walk (not too long so as not freeze his little paws - he's a Bishon). Fur looked a little brown after we were done, but he liked the walk and the short ride in the Jeep... AND I did our taxes -- totally amazed at how easy they were this year... being that my mind wasn't clouded by alcohol while trying to navigate through them!!!
So, all in all - I'm pretty darn happy to be sober and be a SR addict

Have a wonderful evening all!
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Old 01-24-2011, 08:54 AM
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Good grief - 90 days here. I aint going back there again.
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Old 01-24-2011, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by ForwardLooking View Post
Good grief - 90 days here. I aint going back there again.
Love handing this ones out.... great job FrwL...
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Old 01-24-2011, 03:34 PM
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congratulations ForwardLooking

D
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Old 01-24-2011, 04:50 PM
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Hey ForwardLooking! FANTASTIC on the 90! :ghug3

Good day today.... looking forward (no pun intended FL) to tomorrow!

Where is everyone else at????
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Old 01-24-2011, 06:31 PM
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Woo Hoo! Way to GO ForwardLooking!!!!!!!!!!!



Wow, I think Isaiah & Akasha are soon to come up on their 90 day bday too!

Glad to see everyone is doing so well. I had to work from home on Friday and today because I have a lingering cold/allergies/sinus thang going on and so I didn't get much done BUT I didn't drink, matter o fact, I didn't even think about that - I just felt kinda yucky since Friday (still do) and that's OK!

Like Really said, I'm looking forward to tomorrow!
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Old 01-24-2011, 08:00 PM
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I hope you feel better Swan.... TdC
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Old 01-25-2011, 07:17 AM
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Thanks TDC. Hopefully soon, not much better today but heading to the office anyway.

Just realized I haven't had a bad nights sleep since somewhere around day 70 or so....the nightmares just silently faded into the background one night and I didn't even really notice!

Hope everyone has a great day, I'm off to catch the train.
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Old 01-25-2011, 01:52 PM
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Swan and Forwardlooking big big congrats on your 90 days plus milestones and apologies for not being around to celebrate with you but well done . You both should be really proud.

Really, Tom, Isaiah, Akasha, Caribbean and anyone else I am posting tonight as I need your help!! I have had some serious drink thoughts over the last weekend. It was my 39th birthday on Monday and my hubby and myself as a treat went away to another city for a night as a break on Sat/Sunday. The hotel was fab as were were upgraded to a suite by a very nice receptionist and so the thoughts started. A break from the kids, time to relax, nice bar etc...I ignored the thoughts, remained positive and had a coffee instead. We headed into the town and did some shopping and after went to a small Irish bar for soup, again the thoughts of what if. That night a lovely meal, again the thoughts and after we go to a bar to watch a great band...by then I had had enough and just wanted to go home. It was only 11 O'clock and my husband was gutted as he wanted to stay as it was his break too but for me I just felt miserable and I was determined that he was going to be miserable too!!! He could not understand how I could stay out late on so many other occasions and not have alcohol and on this one occasion be so stressed. I couldn't understand or explain it either but I felt very resentful that he could have a drink and I couldn't. Anyway it has progressed as one of my very close pals in 40 on Friday and all my friends with husbands are meeting for drinks in a hotel on Saturday nightand I just feel very stressed about it already. They are a great bunch of people,the night is normally lots of laughter, dancing, joking and DRINKING. I will not drink but in my mind I am reasoning on why not??? I have read back on my posts and my journal and I still nearly find myself saying that I am ok now!!!! Ah it was not that bad. Madness I know even as a type it but why I am becoming so resentful, why now do I feel that I am dull and want to drink. Why now do I think that I am ok??? My feelings are chaotic and it is really worrying me. I will not drink!!! Please guide me through this rubbish time...I feel all emotional about it!! I was just wondering how are other people coping with partners etc drinking etc? thanks in advance I really need some advice.

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Old 01-25-2011, 02:53 PM
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Hope you feel a little better by now Swan

MooMoos
I will not drink but in my mind I am reasoning on why not??
Turn it around maybe - ask yourself why?

Think of the bad times that bought you here to SR, think of the great times you've had since you quit... resenting others doesn't really do much...focus instead on how much better you feel, and look....focus on the MooMoos you want to be.

I know how hard it is to be different. It's particularly hard if you still go out and still hand around with the same crowd.

The temptation is there to believe you had a blip - but you'll be ok now.

I think it's lies. It certainly never worked that way for me.

I don't believe anyone gets better from this - no one becomes a born again normal drinker - like it or not, you and I and everyone else here *are* different.

That's a fact....but I know a lot of people have come through here and find themselves drinking again cos they fall for the talk in their head.

I did it myself.

From my experience, it's a lot harder to get back on the right road after a relapse.
Some of my friends here have never come back.

Think about this very carefully, MM - you know what the right thing is...do it

Keep posting here - if you have any real life face to face support networks, use them too

You can do this - don't give in

D

Last edited by Dee74; 01-25-2011 at 08:07 PM. Reason: clarity
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:03 PM
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Moo Moos, You are in my thoughts. Please let us know how you are doing.

I do understand that it is just one drink, but us addicts know that it will be just then one. I myself had a line of coke in front of me today. It was there in front of me as I was in tears. I never did it. I hope you were strong.
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:11 PM
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I'm glad you did the right thing too Akasha.
I think it's important not to put ourselves in those kinds of situations wherever we can tho.

D
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Old 01-25-2011, 04:55 PM
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Hi Moo,

First of all congratulations on your B-D.

"I still nearly find myself saying that I am ok now!!!! Ah it was not that bad."

I have been there soooooo many times in the past few years, and it usually hits me right about now, 100 +/- days. It sounds like you have hit, or you are about to hit a brick wall.

It may sound strange, but what I seem to be doing a lot of these days is mentally "divorcing" my mind from my body. Sometimes I just take a deep breath and close my eyes for a couple of minutes, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, sometimes it just happens when I am driving, or exercising, or in the middle of whatever... but I try to do it several times a day and see myself as a new person, a sober person, one who does not need, want or desire anything to do with alcohol.

I see myself in the future, totally free of addictions living a healthy, happy, active live. You mention husband and friends. That is very hard unless they are in your camp. If they are not, I would try to see myself ahead of time, a week from now, two weeks from now, a month from now and see that those chaotic feelings are nothing but a wall in your way and try to get beyond it.

I strongly believe that repeating affirmations to myself over and over again works. Try to replace the chaotic feelings with positive ones, but first ask yourself (and no one else) what is it that Moo Moo really wants. Keep us posted.
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:31 PM
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I guess for me, when I have those urges, it's usually right after work and my people around me drink. I do feel resentful at first.... but I ask myself - is THAT where I really want to be knowing what I do now and is THAT really what I want to be doing with my time, my resources, my life. The answer is no.... it's not what I REALLY want -- not anymore. There's going to be temptation to drink -- it is there to make us stronger, not weaker. For me, it's make me stronger on God and He's pulling me through. Whereas alcohol was my best friend, God is now. There is always a way out of temptation - calling a friend - post on SR -- or even sending a private message - pray - turn around and walk away (or run, if need be).... JUST DON"T GIVE IN! We need you and love you.

So There.

Pretty tired tonight -- leaving for Michigan tomorrow and wont be back until Friday afternoon... think I'll take a couple near beers, just in case... Work stuff....

Hope everyone rises to the sound of the warrior drum. Stand firm, my friends.
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Old 01-25-2011, 07:19 PM
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MooMoos, glad you didn't give in! I have to run to my Tuesday night meeting so I don't have much time to post..but here's a short one

I was reading something earlier today that really rang home for me- the physical 'drunk' is preceded by a 'mental binge' that always results in a spiritual blackout...the way I feel after a relapse those words totally hit home...spiritual blackout! Or Emotional bankruptcy! And preceded by a 'mental binge'....whoa, so true.

Sounds like you worked your way through a mental binge and came out on the other side, do your best to hang tight and as the others have said give long pause as to what brought you here to SR to begin with. I echo dee statements about using real life face to face support networks, for me I need both and both serve a significant purpose in my recovery.

Glad you toed the line and didn't cave!
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Old 01-25-2011, 07:27 PM
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Swan

That statement is so true. Once I loose the mental edge, it is just a question of days before I fall down the cliff. I start by getting the "I don't give a s--t" mentality for several days and boom..... no resistance, it is just becomes an automatic process.... total spiritual blackout.

Stay strong, my friends.
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Old 01-26-2011, 01:08 PM
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Hey Moo,

I also have a partner (girlfriend) who drinks once in a while. She and I went out for dinner the other night and she was going to have a couple drinks. That is the sort of drinking normality I have envied from time to time. Yet, I know what a couple drinks do for my body, they'd hardly register, and it wouldn't be any sort of grand experience. And I know for her a couple drinks (I've never seen her drink more than two) are merely complimentary to food and company, and a majority of the times we go out she and I just have water. If she was on an anti-biotic or something and couldn't have her glass of wine when we go out with friends, she wouldn't feel anything. That's the irony of being a normal drinker, a normal drinker doesn't care that they're a drinker.

Haven't been online much in a while. Got a few "where are you?!" messages. It's partially not having much access to the internet unless I take my laptop to a coffee shop (where I am now.) Been doing swell. Meeting with a lot of agencies here for work and volunteering.

Also looking for a new place to live already. When I moved into my place it was pretty lax. The landlord didn't ask for a lease, just asked for rent on time, so she said. Then after not even two weeks decided that she was going to change that, she'd stop renting the basement as a room (evicting one person), plus increasing the rent, and suddenly what she wants for rent just jumped up an impossible $240 per month for me. So I have to be out in a month now. Sheesh!

But yeah, all is well! I think I'll slowly be online more and more in coming weeks. Miss SR.
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Old 01-26-2011, 01:23 PM
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Hi folks, Thank you all so much for your prompt responses and wonderful encouragement. It really has helped and I feel a lot stronger and back on track today. I really respect your opinions and I know that you all are traveling the same tough road as me. It is funny that there were very few posts over the last few days on this thread and yet when I came asking for help...you were all just there. It is very touching!!!

I feel much calmer today. I have spent time reminiscing over the good times and experiences I have enjoyed/achieved over the last number of months and also the tough times that had brought me to the serious decision to stop drinking. I have enjoyed lots of social occasions over the last number or months that I really really enjoyed WITHOUT ALCOHOL so I am not sure why now it had become different.

I just needed reminding that I CAN NOT DRINK ALCOHOL, IT IS POISON TO ME, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND FOR MY FAMILY. I want you to know that this is my first attempt to stop drinking and I AM fully committed never to drink again but just something tricked me into thinking I was OK and hence I came to you prior to doing anything stupid. I need to post here regularly..on my laptop, not on my phone. I need to keep on track. I need to be honest. I so appreciate all the support you have given me over the last few months and hope I can be here for you all in the future. Ps my name is Hilary, everyone calls me Hils...I used 'Moo Moos' as Little Moo Moos is the name of my daughters preschool...not very imaginative I know but I was probably hungover when I picked it!! Might think of changing it as not sure I like the idea of everyone thinking of me as a sober cow....literally lol lol
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Old 01-26-2011, 01:28 PM
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LOL drop me or Anna a line if you ever want to change it Hils

I think most, if not all of us, have that 'maybe I'm ok now' episode. Noone really wants to be an alcoholic.

Thinking I might 'get away with it' with one glass or one night certainly ruined me before.

I know now I can't - I just can't....and I've grown to not just be ok with that...I prefer myself and my life now, hands down

D
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