Members with less than 2 weeks -Part 10
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Day 8...tired of the nausea...very cranky argghhhhhhhh
I'm pretty sure going to a meeting would be a good idea today, but for gods sake it's 5 below
we are suppose to be in the negatives with windchill till saturday...this is the kind of weather that i use to go buy a bottle to drink my way through...they might have canceled work for the cold (this cold they sometimes do) but....me...i'd miss a good 3 days cause once i started the bottle full speed, well it would have taken me a while to get back down to the maintanance amount so i ccould actually pass for sober at work...or i might of gone in totally bombed and claiming I was having trouble with my diabedis or my pancreatitis....
Ok...so today...I'll drag my butt to the noon meeting, even if i'm cranky and barfy....then see where it goes from there...
I feel like a total waste of space today
I'm pretty sure going to a meeting would be a good idea today, but for gods sake it's 5 below
we are suppose to be in the negatives with windchill till saturday...this is the kind of weather that i use to go buy a bottle to drink my way through...they might have canceled work for the cold (this cold they sometimes do) but....me...i'd miss a good 3 days cause once i started the bottle full speed, well it would have taken me a while to get back down to the maintanance amount so i ccould actually pass for sober at work...or i might of gone in totally bombed and claiming I was having trouble with my diabedis or my pancreatitis....
Ok...so today...I'll drag my butt to the noon meeting, even if i'm cranky and barfy....then see where it goes from there...
I feel like a total waste of space today
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Everyone....
I did go to a noon AA meeting.....and here was the topic
Even if you are not interested in AA....I do think we all
have turning [points each day....
I needed to make drastic changes to reach my sober goals.
Even the difficult ones ended up beneficial.
...All my best as you find your way
I did go to a noon AA meeting.....and here was the topic
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*~*~*~*~*^Daily Reflections^*~*~*~*~*
AT THE TURNING POINT
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change.
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
*~*~*~*~*^Daily Reflections^*~*~*~*~*
AT THE TURNING POINT
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change.
Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
have turning [points each day....
I needed to make drastic changes to reach my sober goals.
Even the difficult ones ended up beneficial.
...All my best as you find your way
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,529
Malcolms,
That's great that you told your friend and he is supportive of you. I hope that your parents will be understanding as well.
Nands,
I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you have the flu? It's a beautiful day here in the Great White North. It's above freezing, the sun is shining and there is no snow!
I know that the cold, grey, wintery weather can be really hard to deal with, but if you can manage to get outside and move around a bit, it might help.
That's great that you told your friend and he is supportive of you. I hope that your parents will be understanding as well.
Nands,
I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you have the flu? It's a beautiful day here in the Great White North. It's above freezing, the sun is shining and there is no snow!
I know that the cold, grey, wintery weather can be really hard to deal with, but if you can manage to get outside and move around a bit, it might help.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by HideorSeek 
Wow, Malcolms, good for you! Telling people was a huge stumbling block for me (still is!). Sadly, I don't think I have any "friends" who would understand and not look at me as if I had Ebola, but maybe that's my paranoia. In recovery circles, of course I am OK with it, but outside? Hmmm. How fantastic that you have such a good friend, who can be supportive of you! I've got my recovery friends and then my "other" ones. I will say that the "other" ones have noticed how "happy and well" I appear. Makes me wonder how I used to "look and appear".....
Hope you feel better, Mirage and Hi to Nands and Square! Loved them pumpkins, Nands!
Hope you feel better, Mirage and Hi to Nands and Square! Loved them pumpkins, Nands!
Square, I'm on day 4 myself, so I will just wish you luck and tell you to read lots of SR. Its quite eye-opening. I have my first AA meeting tonight, so we'll see how that goes.
Ananda, sorry about the nausea. But congrats on making it out in that cold! Its 30 here and I'm a total wuss about it.
Carol, thanks for the topic. Thats a great sentiment. Why am I ready for a turning point now? I've been in worse spots. Yet, I believe I want one. I believe I am done.
Anna, thanks for the encouragement. Always helps to have someone positive around. I feel positive today. Maybe I'm just having weird mood swings though...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
ho hum...the normal 2am wish i would just barf and feel better time of night 
outside of that..life is good...er kinda..
usual early sobriety chaos...I don't suppose many of us sober up to a life of roses and sunshine...
Malcom - let us know how things went last night
mirage, thirtybubba...how ou hold'n up??
It's cold .... hopefully in an hour the nasuea will subside and I'll sleep in in the morning probably will end up it's a good thing I am unemployed this first few weeks...need to count my blessings
outside of that..life is good...er kinda..
usual early sobriety chaos...I don't suppose many of us sober up to a life of roses and sunshine...
Malcom - let us know how things went last night
mirage, thirtybubba...how ou hold'n up??
It's cold .... hopefully in an hour the nasuea will subside and I'll sleep in in the morning
probably will end up it's a good thing I am unemployed this first few weeks...need to count my blessings
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Hi guys...hope you're all doing well today!!
Telling someone was my first step. Of course I did it drunk, and in an email, but still. It was a huge step for me.
Sorry you're feelin crappy, ananda..hope this lifts for you soon. I'm a bit under the weather, too..but feeling better this morning so far. I have a lot of snow to shovel, so I need to feel better! My better half went up north for a guys weekend, so it's on me! I had him take all the beer in the garage up to his friends..I've done ok with it there, but I'd rather it not be around. Especially when I'm home alone for the weekend...that could get ugly. Of course the 7-11 is practically across the street, but that would take effort.
Anyway..have a great day everyone..stay warm!
Telling someone was my first step. Of course I did it drunk, and in an email, but still. It was a huge step for me.
Sorry you're feelin crappy, ananda..hope this lifts for you soon. I'm a bit under the weather, too..but feeling better this morning so far. I have a lot of snow to shovel, so I need to feel better! My better half went up north for a guys weekend, so it's on me! I had him take all the beer in the garage up to his friends..I've done ok with it there, but I'd rather it not be around. Especially when I'm home alone for the weekend...that could get ugly. Of course the 7-11 is practically across the street, but that would take effort.
Anyway..have a great day everyone..stay warm!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,529
Mirage, that was a good idea to get your husband to take the beer with him. It makes life simpler and for me, being home alone, was a huge trigger.
Malcolms, I think you're being wise to be cautious about telling people about your alcoholism. Telling a good friend who you know will offer support is a great help, but if you think others might minimize your problem or be negative about it, then it's best to take your time and decide what you want to do.
Nands, I really hope you feel better.
Malcolms, I think you're being wise to be cautious about telling people about your alcoholism. Telling a good friend who you know will offer support is a great help, but if you think others might minimize your problem or be negative about it, then it's best to take your time and decide what you want to do.
Nands, I really hope you feel better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 91
Ananda, thanks for asking, the meeting went well, I think. The format will take getting used to, but there was some good information presented, and afterwords I talked to a few folks and got phone numbers, so all it all it was a good start and I'm going to go back.
Being unemployed has to be hard, but on the other hand, I'm not very productive right now so maybe count it as a blessing in that when you go back to work you'll be on top of your game? And I hope that nausea goes away soon, that sounds rough, but you are hanging in, and thats all that matters.
Mirage, I usually bought beer at the convience store at the corner because it was close. How much extra money did I throw away doing that? The owner is probably in a panic right now that he hasn't seen me in a week. I usually drank alone, and it usually was triggered by being home alone with nothing to do, so I can't keep any booze in the house. I'm posting a lot to keep my mind occupied. Have fun snow shoveling! I know I'm weird, but I kind of like to shovel snow. Probably because where I live, I don't get it that often.
I'm feeling a little hyper today. Don't know why. Maybe I'm just coming out of the fog a little bit and my body is going too far the other direction.
Anyway, have a good day everybody!
Being unemployed has to be hard, but on the other hand, I'm not very productive right now so maybe count it as a blessing in that when you go back to work you'll be on top of your game? And I hope that nausea goes away soon, that sounds rough, but you are hanging in, and thats all that matters.
Mirage, I usually bought beer at the convience store at the corner because it was close. How much extra money did I throw away doing that? The owner is probably in a panic right now that he hasn't seen me in a week. I usually drank alone, and it usually was triggered by being home alone with nothing to do, so I can't keep any booze in the house. I'm posting a lot to keep my mind occupied. Have fun snow shoveling! I know I'm weird, but I kind of like to shovel snow. Probably because where I live, I don't get it that often.
I'm feeling a little hyper today. Don't know why. Maybe I'm just coming out of the fog a little bit and my body is going too far the other direction.
Anyway, have a good day everybody!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Hope you all are doing well...
I just have been sitting here...nauseus again..and realizing how often I drank out of frustration...For some reason the excuse of "things are never gonna get better, so why not" was very appealing to me.
So what an unreasonable response..to drink...I guess the alchohol provided some sort of releif from the frustration...whether it allowed me to vent, or made me unable to feel the preasure...oblivious to the pain...
Something in reality seemed so wrong that somehow drinking seemed to make it a little righter...if you know what i mean...
Course it wasn't reality...reality is that drinking added fuel to the frustration and the pain and the frustration...somehow I just couldn't see that.
Malcolm...thanks for your kind words...I'm not sure why the hyper...I have had periods of hyperness when sober in the past...I think maybe hyper is part of my personal bouncing personality, but it's hard to be hyper when your body is depressed by alchohol or going through the withdrawal process...So maybe a good thing? oh wait...anxiety is part of withdrawal...
I just have been sitting here...nauseus again..and realizing how often I drank out of frustration...For some reason the excuse of "things are never gonna get better, so why not" was very appealing to me.
So what an unreasonable response..to drink...I guess the alchohol provided some sort of releif from the frustration...whether it allowed me to vent, or made me unable to feel the preasure...oblivious to the pain...
Something in reality seemed so wrong that somehow drinking seemed to make it a little righter...if you know what i mean...
Course it wasn't reality...reality is that drinking added fuel to the frustration and the pain and the frustration...somehow I just couldn't see that.
Malcolm...thanks for your kind words...I'm not sure why the hyper...I have had periods of hyperness when sober in the past...I think maybe hyper is part of my personal bouncing personality, but it's hard to be hyper when your body is depressed by alchohol or going through the withdrawal process...So maybe a good thing? oh wait...anxiety is part of withdrawal...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: north carolina
Posts: 51
mirage- i too told my sister and good friend when i had been drinking....they both were and are very supportive.....and my friend was one of my drinking buddies.
malcolms- i find i have days of being pretty hyper too
beginning day 13 and can not believe that i am almost out of the less than two weeks club.
my thoughts are with everyone as they continue their journey to live a healthy sober life
malcolms- i find i have days of being pretty hyper too
beginning day 13 and can not believe that i am almost out of the less than two weeks club.
my thoughts are with everyone as they continue their journey to live a healthy sober life
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 91
Today I nearly bought booze, because I was in a good mood after leaving a noon meeting, of all things, and my body said, oh, you are happy, lets celebrate with beer. I called an alcoholic I met at a previous meeting and got on SR and it passed. Ironically, the topic of the meeting was asking for help when you need it. So I guess that timing was perfect for me.
Of course, like Ananda, frustration was also another good reason to drink. Actually anything was a reason to drink.
Congrats Cingle on moving on!
Of course, like Ananda, frustration was also another good reason to drink. Actually anything was a reason to drink.
Congrats Cingle on moving on!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
OMG Malcolm..I'm so glad you made a call (big grin) yep...anything can become a reason to drink...when what you kinda want is to drink...
I went to get cigerettes this morning, and the quick shop is next to the liquer store I was using the last 6 months (one of them anyway).
I felt "uncomfortaable"....Maybe that was an urge to drink that I don't want to admit to?
my sponsor suggests that when my head starts to go crazy (which it has been alot) to help someone...I haven't done that yet today..so i need to get on it...
I don't know if it's cause i've been through this stuff before, but I think I had this problem the first time I got sober too...it's like...as I sit and take a good look at my past drinking, the dishonesty, the selfcenteredness, the desire to excape pain, responsiblility..etc.... Well I start to see how all of those things are not just in my drinking but in almost every area of my life.
It's like I'm surrounded by examples of all my faulty thinking, etc.
So while I THINK i'm not having any urge to drink...I'm also very aware that I am frustrated and overwhelmed...and the really crazy thing is...I still feel good at the same time....I think i have a split personality....someone shut off my brain
I went to get cigerettes this morning, and the quick shop is next to the liquer store I was using the last 6 months (one of them anyway).
I felt "uncomfortaable"....Maybe that was an urge to drink that I don't want to admit to?
my sponsor suggests that when my head starts to go crazy (which it has been alot) to help someone...I haven't done that yet today..so i need to get on it...
I don't know if it's cause i've been through this stuff before, but I think I had this problem the first time I got sober too...it's like...as I sit and take a good look at my past drinking, the dishonesty, the selfcenteredness, the desire to excape pain, responsiblility..etc.... Well I start to see how all of those things are not just in my drinking but in almost every area of my life.
It's like I'm surrounded by examples of all my faulty thinking, etc.
So while I THINK i'm not having any urge to drink...I'm also very aware that I am frustrated and overwhelmed...and the really crazy thing is...I still feel good at the same time....I think i have a split personality....someone shut off my brain
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 109
Little after 5pm on saturday and I'm still sober, kinda got a headache though.
I was taking a shower earlier and maybe it was the warm/hot water but I felt myself get kinda light headed or dizzy, and then I really felt like having a drink at that moment.
Anyways, it passed. I am thankful for having this forum to read or else I may have caved.
Looking forward to having my first totally sober weekend in about 9 years.
I was taking a shower earlier and maybe it was the warm/hot water but I felt myself get kinda light headed or dizzy, and then I really felt like having a drink at that moment.
Anyways, it passed. I am thankful for having this forum to read or else I may have caved.
Looking forward to having my first totally sober weekend in about 9 years.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Krodos...so glad you are here
yeah..drinking to avoid the withdrawal can be a big trap. Glad you are posting and you just come and share all you need to to get through the weekend sober.
posting here is helping me...and the support is awsome.
If you are going buggy and don't have F2F support, you might try the chat room...if your struggling let them know and they can help...or just join in the laughter cause that sometimes helps to get out of the cravings and overwhelmed feelings that come with early sobriety.
Anyhow..just wanted to welcome you
yeah..drinking to avoid the withdrawal can be a big trap. Glad you are posting and you just come and share all you need to to get through the weekend sober.
posting here is helping me...and the support is awsome.
If you are going buggy and don't have F2F support, you might try the chat room...if your struggling let them know and they can help...or just join in the laughter cause that sometimes helps to get out of the cravings and overwhelmed feelings that come with early sobriety.
Anyhow..just wanted to welcome you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 109
Well I just had a bit of an adventure. First off I should start out by saying that I am from Ontario, Canada. Where I live you can only buy Alcohol in liquior stores or beer stores(A plus that I don't have to see it at grocery stores or convience stores)
Anyways, I had to purchase alcohol for someone else. I felt I could do this and prove it to myself that I could go in there and not buy any for me. So I took a deep breathe, walked in and walked out a few minutes later with nothing for me.
My will power is strong so far, and it felt rather good to know I could do that so early into my sobriety.
Anyways, I had to purchase alcohol for someone else. I felt I could do this and prove it to myself that I could go in there and not buy any for me. So I took a deep breathe, walked in and walked out a few minutes later with nothing for me.
My will power is strong so far, and it felt rather good to know I could do that so early into my sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Welcome Krodos, and congrats Cingle! As Ananda said, SR is such a great support for all of us. I hope that you post a little of your story. We all have more in common than not. This was a real eye-opener for me at first. Like many others, I thought I was unique. Helloooooooooooooo, I most certainly am not!
A bit about me...I have been posting here on SR since 4/08. I spent so much time on this thread, in particular, that I have a real fondness for it. I was stuck in the 3 days sober, 1 day smashed, 3 days sober... cycle for a long, long time. In September of 08, I managed to break that cycle and would manage to put together a couple of months, but would lose it for a night, periodically. I wasn't totally sober, but put together enough time that I could appreciate all of the richness that sobriety can bring. And I felt hope, for the first time. I can't really say what finally pushed me over the edge. I was just so tired of repeating the same old thing, over and over. And I felt a bone chilling despair that I was very close to losing my family, certainly, but my sanity as well. I have been sober since 5/21/09.
I am so scared of alcohol now. The longer I am sober, the more crazy I realize I was. And I know that having one drink will put me right back where I started and I never, ever want to feel that way again. As long as I stay away from the first one, I can stay away from all the rest of them.
Sobriety isn't always easy, but it is always better.
A bit about me...I have been posting here on SR since 4/08. I spent so much time on this thread, in particular, that I have a real fondness for it. I was stuck in the 3 days sober, 1 day smashed, 3 days sober... cycle for a long, long time. In September of 08, I managed to break that cycle and would manage to put together a couple of months, but would lose it for a night, periodically. I wasn't totally sober, but put together enough time that I could appreciate all of the richness that sobriety can bring. And I felt hope, for the first time. I can't really say what finally pushed me over the edge. I was just so tired of repeating the same old thing, over and over. And I felt a bone chilling despair that I was very close to losing my family, certainly, but my sanity as well. I have been sober since 5/21/09.
I am so scared of alcohol now. The longer I am sober, the more crazy I realize I was. And I know that having one drink will put me right back where I started and I never, ever want to feel that way again. As long as I stay away from the first one, I can stay away from all the rest of them.
Sobriety isn't always easy, but it is always better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 109
I've had a headache and felt very tired for the past serveral hours, but I'm glad to say that I stayed sober on a Saturday night. I look forward to waking up on a Sunday morning with no hangover. Sundays have for the last few years been traditionally drink sunup to sundown days.. so I will beat that streak as well.
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