Members with less than 2 weeks -Part 10
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Happy New Year y'all...
Cingle, knowing your triggers is a *huge* advantage... there might still be temptation, but those that you already know, you're already waiting for. Cuts down on the risk, IMO.
Me, I woke up with a drug test and a breathalyzer LOL... guess the judicial system doesn't think much of my ability to stay sober on New Year's. I'll pass though, so I'm not worried. A quick and easy advantage of sobriety for me.
Today my brain has been only able to process one thing at a time... good times. I couldn't remember much past the next bus I had to take, and then I went and put together a shelving unit for an old friend--I visited a few people I knew where I used to live, in the daytime because they'll all be drinking/ getting high before nightfall.
Then I went to a meeting with my sponsor, and ate and then went to the end of a dance at the Alando club. There sure were some interesting people there. I was able to remain polite as I told them no, I didn't really want to be with them... the benefits of sobriety.
All in all, I did have fun, although I didn't do much. At least I think I had fun, as soon as I left one place, I plain forgot what happened there. I laughed a lot, and that's enough for me.
Guess I'll see tomorrow what it brings moodwise...
Take care y'all, happy New Year.
TB
Cingle, knowing your triggers is a *huge* advantage... there might still be temptation, but those that you already know, you're already waiting for. Cuts down on the risk, IMO.
Me, I woke up with a drug test and a breathalyzer LOL... guess the judicial system doesn't think much of my ability to stay sober on New Year's. I'll pass though, so I'm not worried. A quick and easy advantage of sobriety for me.
Today my brain has been only able to process one thing at a time... good times. I couldn't remember much past the next bus I had to take, and then I went and put together a shelving unit for an old friend--I visited a few people I knew where I used to live, in the daytime because they'll all be drinking/ getting high before nightfall.
Then I went to a meeting with my sponsor, and ate and then went to the end of a dance at the Alando club. There sure were some interesting people there. I was able to remain polite as I told them no, I didn't really want to be with them... the benefits of sobriety.
All in all, I did have fun, although I didn't do much. At least I think I had fun, as soon as I left one place, I plain forgot what happened there. I laughed a lot, and that's enough for me.
Guess I'll see tomorrow what it brings moodwise...
Take care y'all, happy New Year.
TB
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Yup, mood didn't change much. I'm starting to feel quiet and kinda blue all the time... well, not all the time, but at the end of every day--usually near the end of the evening meeting.
Like what I got is gonna go away real soon (the camaraderie etc) and I'm pre-emptively sad about it all.
Take care,
TB
Like what I got is gonna go away real soon (the camaraderie etc) and I'm pre-emptively sad about it all.
Take care,
TB
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
(((TB)))
Yea for you...you passed those drug/alcohol test!
Your getting out of the isolation mode and
meeting new people.
How about doing a gratitude list?
Yea for you...you passed those drug/alcohol test!
Your getting out of the isolation mode and
meeting new people.
How about doing a gratitude list?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
Cingle,
I'm glad you became aware that your work situation was causing you a lot of stress. Now, your recovery clarity can help you to deal with work problems in a healthy way.
Laura S,
Good for you! Day 2 is great!
Thirtybubba,
I hope that your mood begins to lift a bit so you feel better.
I'm glad you became aware that your work situation was causing you a lot of stress. Now, your recovery clarity can help you to deal with work problems in a healthy way.
Laura S,
Good for you! Day 2 is great!
Thirtybubba,
I hope that your mood begins to lift a bit so you feel better.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 151
happy new year everyone
hope it was a goodun & you had some happy times!
mine was really good. I managed to keep sober despite being at a 4 day drum and bass festival in the bush with 5000 people all getting wasted! dont know how the hell i made it...was just sheer determination i guess. had to turn down alot of drinks & also had to deal with feeling out of place, a bit lonely,mood very flat & a sense of being gutted i cannot druink normally. also peole expected me to party like they've seen me do in the past...which is HARD! i felt like a boring person. on the good side, my dj performance went really well! got great feedback and got people smiling dancing hehe
was hard but i but i did find that however sad i felt, I never went that 'low' id feel a bit empty and flat, but essentially missing out on the 'high' eliminated the 'low' well that was my experience
was good to get home at the end, and feel pride that i had survived christmas & new year without taking a drink.
so yeah day 35 sober...im really doing it! im under no illusion that i could crumble at any point. day at a time etc... im starting to realise that i have a real opportunity to build a new life around being sober.
\where to start jeeeez! guess ive started already
hugs to you all
its freaking awesome you are trying to better your life! so all the best to you
nd
hope it was a goodun & you had some happy times!
mine was really good. I managed to keep sober despite being at a 4 day drum and bass festival in the bush with 5000 people all getting wasted! dont know how the hell i made it...was just sheer determination i guess. had to turn down alot of drinks & also had to deal with feeling out of place, a bit lonely,mood very flat & a sense of being gutted i cannot druink normally. also peole expected me to party like they've seen me do in the past...which is HARD! i felt like a boring person. on the good side, my dj performance went really well! got great feedback and got people smiling dancing hehe
was hard but i but i did find that however sad i felt, I never went that 'low' id feel a bit empty and flat, but essentially missing out on the 'high' eliminated the 'low' well that was my experience
was good to get home at the end, and feel pride that i had survived christmas & new year without taking a drink.
so yeah day 35 sober...im really doing it! im under no illusion that i could crumble at any point. day at a time etc... im starting to realise that i have a real opportunity to build a new life around being sober.
\where to start jeeeez! guess ive started already
hugs to you all
its freaking awesome you are trying to better your life! so all the best to you
nd
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: north carolina
Posts: 51
noubledegative- that is awesome you were able to be that strong with all that alcohol around you............i know personally i am not quite there yet and this will keep some friends from inviting me places..........but im ok with that..........thanks for the inspiration
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Nd.....Mega 
I'm really pleased and proud of you too! That's been true for me....and Yes! you will find it so
very rewarding too.
I'm really pleased and proud of you too!
... im starting to realise that i have a real opportunity to build a new life around being sober.
very rewarding too.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Single....Mega
Yes that happened to me....because all my social circle
were also excessive drinkers.
When I declared I was heading into sobriety....going to AA and
now my apartment was a no drinking zone......most faded away.
Actually it worked out to my advantage I needed to find different
friends who were obtaining my new lifestyle and goals.
I found an AA group of mostly singles....we had a blast
doing all sorts of things outside of meetings....
There is a whole new way of healthy sober living
just waiting for you to enjoy. Good to see you again.
Yes that happened to me....because all my social circle
were also excessive drinkers.
When I declared I was heading into sobriety....going to AA and
now my apartment was a no drinking zone......most faded away.
Actually it worked out to my advantage I needed to find different
friends who were obtaining my new lifestyle and goals.
I found an AA group of mostly singles....we had a blast
doing all sorts of things outside of meetings....
There is a whole new way of healthy sober living
just waiting for you to enjoy. Good to see you again.
Living in the moment!
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Wondering where I belong!
Posts: 126
Finishing up Day 2.....the time I am spending reading and posting in SR is helping soooo much!! Hope to chat and get to know some of you better on my journey with sobriety!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
ND,
It's really good to hear from you and that you stayed sober throughout the music festival. Congratulations on Day 35!
InsideOut,
I have found that SR is my lifeline and I love coming here every day. No matter what is going on with me, I can always find inspiration here.
It's really good to hear from you and that you stayed sober throughout the music festival. Congratulations on Day 35!
InsideOut,
I have found that SR is my lifeline and I love coming here every day. No matter what is going on with me, I can always find inspiration here.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Welcome, InsideOut and anybody I missed.
Well, 2 weeks ago around this same time of night I took the last shot. At first it was kinda strange, then it got normal and I was happy with all this AA stuff this time round.
Then I got blue, reading back on this thread it seems it happened on the first. Before, my moods would change up in sobriety, but this time... I'm still blue.
And it's getting worse I think. I hadn't eaten since then... my body just didn't want to eat. Finally tonight I made some macaronis and ate them down--didn't need sauce or anything, I didn't want to eat anything anyways. I think I have lost my sense of self-preservation, and I don't quite know what to do, but maybe it will come back. Although, in all honesty, that's not a hallmark of sobriety with me. I tend to feel small and worthless all the time and don't stand up for myself like I can when I'm drinking... man, I hope this gets better. I'm still sober, but I don't think I can take much more of this.
I've been going to the AA meetings with my sponsor, reading all the stuff she said to, calling her as instructed, doing all the morning chores like she said--but it's not getting better. I just sit around all day, playing repetitive stuff on the computer (something I used to do to think things through... but my mind's blank). I can't process basic information and figure stuff out. I almost got ran over yesterday for forgetting to push the button on a street light.
And yet as painful as this all is, I can still remember those last days drinking... and that was painful too. Guess I'll go forward, it might change... I know drinking doesn't change much, I did that for almost 21 years.
Take care y'all...
TB, accidentally scaring off newbies again... sorry. your results may vary?
Well, 2 weeks ago around this same time of night I took the last shot. At first it was kinda strange, then it got normal and I was happy with all this AA stuff this time round.
Then I got blue, reading back on this thread it seems it happened on the first. Before, my moods would change up in sobriety, but this time... I'm still blue.
And it's getting worse I think. I hadn't eaten since then... my body just didn't want to eat. Finally tonight I made some macaronis and ate them down--didn't need sauce or anything, I didn't want to eat anything anyways. I think I have lost my sense of self-preservation, and I don't quite know what to do, but maybe it will come back. Although, in all honesty, that's not a hallmark of sobriety with me. I tend to feel small and worthless all the time and don't stand up for myself like I can when I'm drinking... man, I hope this gets better. I'm still sober, but I don't think I can take much more of this.
I've been going to the AA meetings with my sponsor, reading all the stuff she said to, calling her as instructed, doing all the morning chores like she said--but it's not getting better. I just sit around all day, playing repetitive stuff on the computer (something I used to do to think things through... but my mind's blank). I can't process basic information and figure stuff out. I almost got ran over yesterday for forgetting to push the button on a street light.
And yet as painful as this all is, I can still remember those last days drinking... and that was painful too. Guess I'll go forward, it might change... I know drinking doesn't change much, I did that for almost 21 years.
Take care y'all...
TB, accidentally scaring off newbies again... sorry. your results may vary?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
ND...good to hear things are going so well! So happy for you!
TB..good for you on 2 weeks! I know you're feeling down right now, but what you said about drinking being painful, too, really struck a chord with me.
This last little spurt of drinking I did really showed me how painful it is. It just doesn't feel good anymore...it changed for me some time when I wasn't looking. I almost feel like I wanted to make sure my drinking had crossed that line, and it has. Granted, this memory is fresh to me now, but I'm really gonna try to hang on to it.
In addition to that realization, my other is that I'm spiritually bankrupt. I was reading something in a book...questions about my drinking. One of the questions was "do you feel like there's a hole in your spirit and you're trying to fill it?" Um...yes. I've never had any sort of spirituality in my life, and I'm thinking maybe I need it. I've heard something about the importance of having balance with the 3 parts of our lives...the physical, emotional, and spiritual. Well, those are not in balance, as I have no spiritual aspect to me at all. Not sure how I'm gonna get it, but that's another story. Anyway..thanks for letting me ramble. I plan on leaning on you guys for a bit..hope that's ok.
TB..good for you on 2 weeks! I know you're feeling down right now, but what you said about drinking being painful, too, really struck a chord with me.
This last little spurt of drinking I did really showed me how painful it is. It just doesn't feel good anymore...it changed for me some time when I wasn't looking. I almost feel like I wanted to make sure my drinking had crossed that line, and it has. Granted, this memory is fresh to me now, but I'm really gonna try to hang on to it.
In addition to that realization, my other is that I'm spiritually bankrupt. I was reading something in a book...questions about my drinking. One of the questions was "do you feel like there's a hole in your spirit and you're trying to fill it?" Um...yes. I've never had any sort of spirituality in my life, and I'm thinking maybe I need it. I've heard something about the importance of having balance with the 3 parts of our lives...the physical, emotional, and spiritual. Well, those are not in balance, as I have no spiritual aspect to me at all. Not sure how I'm gonna get it, but that's another story. Anyway..thanks for letting me ramble. I plan on leaning on you guys for a bit..hope that's ok.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
Mirage,
I have often thought it's too bad we can't see that invisible line that we cross. By the time we recognize that we've crossed to the other side, there's no way to go back. But, I agree that it does help you to know that it's time to take action.
I have often thought it's too bad we can't see that invisible line that we cross. By the time we recognize that we've crossed to the other side, there's no way to go back. But, I agree that it does help you to know that it's time to take action.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Happy New Year everyone and welcome Laura and Inside!
Mirage...I know exactly how you feel! I felt a very big hole in my soul and that, combined with a feeling that the sand in the hour glass was rapidly running out, caused me to feel the worst despair of my life. I do go to AA and it did jump start a spirituality that had gotten dusty from lack of attention. This might be a path for you, as well. Just a thought.
And TB, congrats on your days! I really believe that our sobriety changes with time, so what you are feeling now, will definitely change. I'm sure others will agree with me that sobriety at 10 days is different than at 30. And 3 months is different than 6. I like what you said about knowing what drinking will bring vs what sobriety will bring. I can't say that I don't have bad days...the difference is that I don't have to drink over them and I know, just like the sun rises, that they will pass. :ghug3
Mirage...I know exactly how you feel! I felt a very big hole in my soul and that, combined with a feeling that the sand in the hour glass was rapidly running out, caused me to feel the worst despair of my life. I do go to AA and it did jump start a spirituality that had gotten dusty from lack of attention. This might be a path for you, as well. Just a thought.
And TB, congrats on your days! I really believe that our sobriety changes with time, so what you are feeling now, will definitely change. I'm sure others will agree with me that sobriety at 10 days is different than at 30. And 3 months is different than 6. I like what you said about knowing what drinking will bring vs what sobriety will bring. I can't say that I don't have bad days...the difference is that I don't have to drink over them and I know, just like the sun rises, that they will pass. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Day 5 here...i haven't actually had an urge to drink yet....it's odd
but my life is falling apart...
So this last 24....one moment i'm feeling really good and glad to be focused on sobriety and feel like i'm learning and expereinceing in a new way...the next moment i feel like i'm avoiding my responsibilities overwhelmed by how totally trashed my life is...and scared and confused.
I'm gonna go take a bath, pay my bills, hit a meeting, and put my application in at a temp agency....That feels like way more than I can accomplish, but....I won't get any of it done here
So I'm off!
but my life is falling apart...
So this last 24....one moment i'm feeling really good and glad to be focused on sobriety and feel like i'm learning and expereinceing in a new way...the next moment i feel like i'm avoiding my responsibilities overwhelmed by how totally trashed my life is...and scared and confused.
I'm gonna go take a bath, pay my bills, hit a meeting, and put my application in at a temp agency....That feels like way more than I can accomplish, but....I won't get any of it done here
So I'm off!
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