Members with less than 2 weeks -Part 10
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
Mirage,
I was spiritually empty too and I didn't realize how much of a loss that was in my life. There was nothing there.
When I began to seriously think about recovering, I KNEW I had to reconnect to my spiritual self in order to find a reason to continue, to move forward and to do all the work I needed to do. For me, I turned to books as I always do, and I found a way to be able to follow my soul's path in this lifetime.
Nands,
I am sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way!
I was spiritually empty too and I didn't realize how much of a loss that was in my life. There was nothing there.
When I began to seriously think about recovering, I KNEW I had to reconnect to my spiritual self in order to find a reason to continue, to move forward and to do all the work I needed to do. For me, I turned to books as I always do, and I found a way to be able to follow my soul's path in this lifetime.
Nands,
I am sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way!
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Mirage, I had almost the same thing happen to me last go round with the bottle.
Sure, I've slipped a few times since July (when I started quitting... man... it's been too long). But when I messed up right before finals--and came to the conclusion that the only way for me to get through finals was to keep on drinking, even I questioned the true logic in that. Seemed to me that I should just stop (I didn't want to be drinking during finals, I really didn't), but at the same time... I couldn't afford a week of withdrawals and the lack of brainpower associated with those.
In retrospect, it might have been a good decision--I had the wrong reasons on the table, is all. All those other times, I'd go out for a few days and come back. Small things I did that I didn't like, but a few times I did things that made my life (drinking or sober) easier. So I had sort of mixed opinions about drinking...
This last, and somewhat forced time, I quickly got back to exactly where I'd been in July... full dependence and full functioning. I needed those bottles, and I was doing everything I needed to get done. I could have lived like that forever... and forever would have not been very long. It was realizing this, that shook me up somewhat. The memory of those years of dependence was fresh in July--but not in December. By then, I had new memories, of some bad days, some good days--in other words, life. I needed a refresher, I suppose. So while it might have been dumb to drink through finals on a heavy courseload, I not only pulled it off, I got a fresh memory of what it's like to live everyday in a bottle in my world.
Update: still kinda sad, but kinda more hopeful today will be a good day. My world is off its holiday closure, so maybe I can get a thing or two done (laundry, I'm looking at you).
Take care y'all,
TB, with 14 days sober so I guess I graduated again. But I've done this before... hard to forget that too.
Sure, I've slipped a few times since July (when I started quitting... man... it's been too long). But when I messed up right before finals--and came to the conclusion that the only way for me to get through finals was to keep on drinking, even I questioned the true logic in that. Seemed to me that I should just stop (I didn't want to be drinking during finals, I really didn't), but at the same time... I couldn't afford a week of withdrawals and the lack of brainpower associated with those.
In retrospect, it might have been a good decision--I had the wrong reasons on the table, is all. All those other times, I'd go out for a few days and come back. Small things I did that I didn't like, but a few times I did things that made my life (drinking or sober) easier. So I had sort of mixed opinions about drinking...
This last, and somewhat forced time, I quickly got back to exactly where I'd been in July... full dependence and full functioning. I needed those bottles, and I was doing everything I needed to get done. I could have lived like that forever... and forever would have not been very long. It was realizing this, that shook me up somewhat. The memory of those years of dependence was fresh in July--but not in December. By then, I had new memories, of some bad days, some good days--in other words, life. I needed a refresher, I suppose. So while it might have been dumb to drink through finals on a heavy courseload, I not only pulled it off, I got a fresh memory of what it's like to live everyday in a bottle in my world.
Update: still kinda sad, but kinda more hopeful today will be a good day. My world is off its holiday closure, so maybe I can get a thing or two done (laundry, I'm looking at you).
Take care y'all,
TB, with 14 days sober so I guess I graduated again. But I've done this before... hard to forget that too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Thanks for the insight, folks!
Thanks HideorSeek, I was thinking about that path, too. I'm resisting it, but part of me thinks if I do it I'll be really glad. I don't know how to be spiritual...never done it. Wasn't raised with any influence in that arena, so it's tough. I'll figure it out.
Thanks HideorSeek, I was thinking about that path, too. I'm resisting it, but part of me thinks if I do it I'll be really glad. I don't know how to be spiritual...never done it. Wasn't raised with any influence in that arena, so it's tough. I'll figure it out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Mirage, another one of my supports is reading. I get a lot out of books (and it might be a little less threatening than AA for a start). One book that had a profound influence on me is called "The Transformative Power of Crisis" by Robert Alter (out of print, but available, used, at amazon). I know Anna swears by Gary Zukav's "Seat of the Soul". It's the next book on my list. Stephanie Covington's "The Woman's Guide to the Twelve Steps (book and workbook) also gave me a lot of food for thought. And one of my all time favorites: "Eat, Pray, Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert. All talk about the fact that we are not alone in the universe; that there is a "power greater than ourselves". I can't say why, but it gives me great comfort...like having a best friend, always with me, who has my best interests at heart, and who loves me in spite of myself.
Amanda, it's good to have you here! Many moons ago, you and I shared some emails. I hope that you are doing well!
Amanda, it's good to have you here! Many moons ago, you and I shared some emails. I hope that you are doing well!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
starting day 6 with medium amount of nausea...just nagging and on going since 2 am....
regardless...looking forward to another day sober...
I know that for me the nausea can last anywhere from a week to a month after I sober up...there were times in the past when I would drink to get past that...cause it temporarily helped...but of course...it is the cause of the problem so ...never ending cycle.
today it just seems like part of the drill...although i'm very very annoyed about it....
regardless...looking forward to another day sober...
I know that for me the nausea can last anywhere from a week to a month after I sober up...there were times in the past when I would drink to get past that...cause it temporarily helped...but of course...it is the cause of the problem so ...never ending cycle.
today it just seems like part of the drill...although i'm very very annoyed about it....
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
Originally Posted by HideorSeek 
All talk about the fact that we are not alone in the universe; that there is a "power greater than ourselves". I can't say why, but it gives me great comfort...like having a best friend, always with me, who has my best interests at heart, and who loves me in spite of myself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 91
Well, I'm on day two so this seems like the right place to post.
I'm doing ok. Didn't sleep well last night, kept waking up every hour or so. I bought some herbal tea and melatonin to see if that helps. I'm feeling a little jittery and I'm having a bit of a tough time focusing. And I'm really thirsty (drinking lemondade like crazy. For some reason really sour lemonade is a good beer subsitute for me.)
I didn't get out of work in time today to make the beginner meeting, but there is one Thursday that is late enough for me to catch. I am not going to lie, I'm not looking forward to that. Or to telling my family and friends. But I said I would do anything to quit, and I meant it, so here we go.
Oh, and congratulations to Mirage, TB, Anada, well, congratulations to everone really. And super thanks to all the vets hanging around to help, especialy since I know this is not the first time I promised this board I was quitting.
I'm doing ok. Didn't sleep well last night, kept waking up every hour or so. I bought some herbal tea and melatonin to see if that helps. I'm feeling a little jittery and I'm having a bit of a tough time focusing. And I'm really thirsty (drinking lemondade like crazy. For some reason really sour lemonade is a good beer subsitute for me.)
I didn't get out of work in time today to make the beginner meeting, but there is one Thursday that is late enough for me to catch. I am not going to lie, I'm not looking forward to that. Or to telling my family and friends. But I said I would do anything to quit, and I meant it, so here we go.
Oh, and congratulations to Mirage, TB, Anada, well, congratulations to everone really. And super thanks to all the vets hanging around to help, especialy since I know this is not the first time I promised this board I was quitting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4
Newbie
Hey everyone, just writing to introduce myself. I've been sober for 3 days. I feel good this morning and think that I'm going to be sober for quite some time. Feel free to shoot me an email or chat. I would like to have some tips on how I can stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Welcome Malcolms and Square! There are lots of people on these boards who are always willing to help 24/7. I know that SR has been vital to my recovery. The beauty of SR is that you don't have to go through this alone. Alcoholism feeds on isolation and the first foothold of sobriety, IMHO, is to share how you are feeling. I know that I felt that I was unique, but that is not so, not one iota.
The "Class of ..." threads have been very helpful to many. Anybody feel like jumping in and starting a January one???
The "Class of ..." threads have been very helpful to many. Anybody feel like jumping in and starting a January one???
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Glad you made it here Square and Malcom....and thanks for the chat last night malcom it really helped me 
I woke up pretty cranky...cause the nausea hit at 2am as usual, and the rest of the night was filled with waking up uncomfortable....Been up about an hour now and the nausea is fading...
Malcom..I think the fact that I, like you, have committed over and over to sobriety..yet been unable to stay sober...rather defines the problem for me...You are here now...sober today....looking for the solution...
A woman once touched my heart and soul...she had been in and out of sobriety so many times..was so discouraged ... and a lady told her
god's children hear when they can hear, and see when they can see...you didn't do anything wrong, you kept coming back...
I'm just glad we are all alive and here today...
I woke up pretty cranky...cause the nausea hit at 2am as usual, and the rest of the night was filled with waking up uncomfortable....Been up about an hour now and the nausea is fading...
Malcom..I think the fact that I, like you, have committed over and over to sobriety..yet been unable to stay sober...rather defines the problem for me...You are here now...sober today....looking for the solution...
A woman once touched my heart and soul...she had been in and out of sobriety so many times..was so discouraged ... and a lady told her
god's children hear when they can hear, and see when they can see...you didn't do anything wrong, you kept coming back...
I'm just glad we are all alive and here today...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Thank you so much for the book suggestions..I'll definitely look into those. I loved "Eat, Pray, Love", too, HorS..as a matter of fact, I just dusted it off and started to read it again last weekend. I remember how good it made me feel a couple years back when I was reading it.
I'm on day 4...not feeling well, but I think I have a sinus thing. I went through this about4 months ago..had dizzy spells and went into the doc and she told me to take Claritin! Weird..but it did go away, so I started that today again. Slept 10 hours and feel like a truck hit me. Not sure if that's part of the drinking thing, or if I'm a bit sick. Anyway...hope you all are doing well..thanks for being here!
I'm on day 4...not feeling well, but I think I have a sinus thing. I went through this about4 months ago..had dizzy spells and went into the doc and she told me to take Claritin! Weird..but it did go away, so I started that today again. Slept 10 hours and feel like a truck hit me. Not sure if that's part of the drinking thing, or if I'm a bit sick. Anyway...hope you all are doing well..thanks for being here!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by ananda
Glad you made it here Square and Malcom....and thanks for the chat last night malcom it really helped me
I woke up pretty cranky...cause the nausea hit at 2am as usual, and the rest of the night was filled with waking up uncomfortable....Been up about an hour now and the nausea is fading...
Malcom..I think the fact that I, like you, have committed over and over to sobriety..yet been unable to stay sober...rather defines the problem for me...You are here now...sober today....looking for the solution...
A woman once touched my heart and soul...she had been in and out of sobriety so many times..was so discouraged ... and a lady told her
god's children hear when they can hear, and see when they can see...you didn't do anything wrong, you kept coming back...
I'm just glad we are all alive and here today...
I woke up pretty cranky...cause the nausea hit at 2am as usual, and the rest of the night was filled with waking up uncomfortable....Been up about an hour now and the nausea is fading...
Malcom..I think the fact that I, like you, have committed over and over to sobriety..yet been unable to stay sober...rather defines the problem for me...You are here now...sober today....looking for the solution...
A woman once touched my heart and soul...she had been in and out of sobriety so many times..was so discouraged ... and a lady told her
god's children hear when they can hear, and see when they can see...you didn't do anything wrong, you kept coming back...
I'm just glad we are all alive and here today...
Thanks Ananda. It helped me as well.
I slept better last night, but my mood is a bit foul. I was bad with my boss this morning in a meeting. Afterwords another boss came and talked to me because I seemed agitated. But, still sober, which is all what matters. I'm on day three, so hopefully its just a matter of getting a few more days in before I stop being such a grump.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
Nands,
Your point is well-taken. We are often frustrated in recovery, but we are all exactly where we should be, at this time.
Square,
I'm glad you joined us, and please know that there is always support here at SR.
Malcolm,
I hope you sleep better and that your mood lightens. I was still quite foggy on Day 3, so you're doing well to be working, even if you are a bit grumpy. LOL.
Mirage,
I hope your sinus problem clears up and that you feel better. Good for you on Day4!
Your point is well-taken. We are often frustrated in recovery, but we are all exactly where we should be, at this time.
Square,
I'm glad you joined us, and please know that there is always support here at SR.
Malcolm,
I hope you sleep better and that your mood lightens. I was still quite foggy on Day 3, so you're doing well to be working, even if you are a bit grumpy. LOL.
Mirage,
I hope your sinus problem clears up and that you feel better. Good for you on Day4!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 91
Anna,
Actually, I feel pretty good now. I called my best friend and told him that I am alcoholic. It was the first time I ever told a person who know's who I am what is going on. He was very surprised, as he thought I had gotten over my problems years ago (I used to binge, then I switched to drinking in secret). But he was very supportive and it was a huge relief. I know not all my friends will be as good, but those aren't friends anyway.
Once I tell my parents, I think I'll really have that particular anxiety off my mind.
Actually, I feel pretty good now. I called my best friend and told him that I am alcoholic. It was the first time I ever told a person who know's who I am what is going on. He was very surprised, as he thought I had gotten over my problems years ago (I used to binge, then I switched to drinking in secret). But he was very supportive and it was a huge relief. I know not all my friends will be as good, but those aren't friends anyway.
Once I tell my parents, I think I'll really have that particular anxiety off my mind.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Wow, Malcolms, good for you! Telling people was a huge stumbling block for me (still is!). Sadly, I don't think I have any "friends" who would understand and not look at me as if I had Ebola, but maybe that's my paranoia. In recovery circles, of course I am OK with it, but outside? Hmmm. How fantastic that you have such a good friend, who can be supportive of you! I've got my recovery friends and then my "other" ones. I will say that the "other" ones have noticed how "happy and well" I appear. Makes me wonder how I used to "look and appear".....
Hope you feel better, Mirage and Hi to Nands and Square! Loved them pumpkins, Nands!
Hope you feel better, Mirage and Hi to Nands and Square! Loved them pumpkins, Nands!
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