melissa6381

My V,

I sit here wishing there was something I could say to take your pain away. I hope you don't mind that I found this post, I've been checking up on you as I've been very concerned about you.

When I first met you I was only a day into my sobriety. I went back to read all of the previous February posts and was instantly drawn to you. I knew I wanted to be your friend and that with your support I would be able to get sober. Not only are you worthy of love, you are a magnet for it. Your light shines so bright that people love you even through a computer screen. You are not a average person, your spirit shines like an angels. The overwhelming responses of support and love that you have received from this post are evidence of that.

I believe that life is about lessons, and until we surrender to learning them life will keep presenting us with situations in which that lesson can be learned. I can feel how close you are to graduating from this lesson. Do not fear being vulnerable and facing your darkest moments for I believe that learning to be open, supported, and vulnerable is something you were born to do. Theres no way around this stuff, you have to go through it. Let it ALL out, even if it's just in a journal that you burn when you're done, unburden yourself of heaviness, you deserve to be free. The work will be hard but I know you are strong enough to do it. You can get through this.

We are all here for you, you are very loved.
XO, M.

venuscat

My Mel ♥

What a beautiful girl you are my very special friend....what a long road we have been on together now. Your love and your words mean more than I can say.

I think that you are the angel sweet one.
You made my heart sing.

V xx ♥

Julie59

Oh Venus .. I am only just getting to know you and I have never been in your situation, with both your history and what you are facing now .... so I cant really comment...but I am just like everyone else posting here and just want the very very best for you. And yes soak up all the support here xx

MidnightBlue

((Venus))

I am certainly not going to tell you that it is "stupid decision" - it's hard, tough, heart-breaking and life-changing decision to make.

Please, push dark thoughts away.

I hope doctors will make their best jobs and you will get well as soon as possible.

Please, never stop fighting for yourself - for every sunrise to see, for every day to see a beautiful ocean, and to post on SR.

Lots of love to you!

Thinking of you.

wackybunny

Oh Venus, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. For some reason I only just found this thread and was so surprised. I imagined you out there being so happy exploring your new sober life. What a shame you didn't get to enjoy that honeymoon longer before this next battle came along. Other posts have said the words I wish I could say much more eloquently. Sounds like you have a lot of hard decisions and a scary time to go through. I trust you to do what is best for you. I care about you a lot! xoxoxo

To me, you are the person who inspired me to quit weed and helped me gain the strength to face my own battles. To me, you are so strong and wise, a shining example of honest and good and giving. I don't even know how to repay you, I can't really. I try to pass it on because I remember how much you helped me. One of the reason I still come here is remembering how much your comments meant to me and even though I'm "better" now, others are just beginning.

venuscat

bunny girl ~ thank you sweetheart. How wonderful it is that we can just keep helping each other...your words are so beautiful. You made me remember who I am when I'm not feeling sorry for myself.

I'm a lot better today. State of mind plays such a big part. Crying it all out here for a full day (yep, swollen eyes), was really cathartic. And feeling loved and part of all of you once again has done wonders for me.

My finger is pretty sore and useless, but I don't have a fever today. That's awesome.

Huge hugs,

V xx

Jeni26

Oh my sweet V...I'm sorry I have not been around so much and missed your sad story.

It is so good to have you back. We missed you.

Well I know you have a strong faith, and I know God is looking out for you and would never give you more than you could handle. I think when we are going through difficult times, we need our friends more not less. I believe God sends them to help carry us through.

Keep talking and sharing. Xxx

Mags1

Love and prayers, V, xxxx

Fandy

Good morning Vee, I wanted to respond yesterday but somehow it scuttled out of my pointy little head. Chemo/radiation is very targeted to the specific area and done for a short period of time, like a month. As you might remember, my brother have severe parotid gland cancer, involving both throat and face/eyelid. He had 2 surgeries in 4 days, plus nerve grafting and the temp. Insertion of a small weight in his eyelid so the eye could close.
The following course was a month of daily alternating chemo, radiation 5x a week, weekends off...fridays was also hydration therapy which helps a lot. This particular carcinoma has a less than <25% 10 year survival rate, but his bone scans continue to be clean since 2009.
It's time to ask your sister to help you? Both emotional and financial.
Aggressive treatment will help you in the long run, and I agree, don't say no to your oncologist, he is correct ( this time).
Am I wrong in thinking you had or was going to have hernia surgery?
And if this were me in your shoes, I would be crazed/ sick /worried too...big hugs....I know nothing about your health care disability insurances, visiting home health aides, etc.

HeadLump

((((Venus)))) I'm sorry I'm so late in coming to this thread, V. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending huge hugs and positive vibes across the pond ♥♥♥ xxx

venuscat

I'm going to need all of my calm today.
Two new very nasty and painful infections.

Thank you all for the love and letting me share.

V xx

Hevyn

I'm so sorry for all that you're going through V. Prayers will continue - you're in our thoughts.

least

Much love to you.

Pondlady

Venus, I'm just now finding this thread and am sorry I've not posted sooner. I learned of your condition from your post on whiners. I'm sorry to not have posted earlier.

I'm glad you have this thread and whiners to discuss your feelings. I hate that you feel alone and don't have support....I think you'd have an army of helpers if we SR folk lived near by. Hugs.

venuscat

Thank you love.

I have plenty of support now from all of you. ♥

The only really hard part right now is trying to deal with these infections.
Going back to bed I think.

V xx

wackybunny

No advice, just thinking about you. xo

MidnightBlue

Venus, my friend, lots and lots and lots-lots positive vibes to you.

I know you have a lot right now at your plate - financial worries in addition to health issues. I so hear you...

But right at the moment, focus on taking care of yourself. You so deserve it!

Have a good rest.

And we are here to support you.

Zencat

Sending healing vibes your way (((V)))

Please do take care.
Maybe play in the SoberRecovery- Arcade. It can be a good distraction off the distress for a few moments or so.

Be well soon.
Will.G

Fandy

Vee, have you discussed your decisions to not treat you tumors with your family?
I really don't agree with your decision, you are playing roulette and as things may spread, you could lose a lot more than one digit.
You have fever and infection now, fighting it off holistically is not going to change them back to benign.
You need to reconsider your thoughts on this because soon you may not have a choice of just a finger amputation, it might be much worse if it spreads.
Oops I just reread your post about the hernia, thats better for you.

venuscat

Thank you Zencat ♥

I'm not a gamer. For me, videos are the key.
I downloaded all 7 seasons of True Blood. It's awesome.
I'm halfway through season 5.
The fantasy is a brilliant escape for me.

I need it right now.

V xx