Broken
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm glad you told us what was going on, though I'm sorry you're going through this.
I do echo that being here is better than being out there. I also agree that you got sober before, can do it again, and you DO deserve it.
I also know that I clung to SR as a lifeline in early recovery (even when I was still lurking) because I didn't believe I deserved anything good. It took a while to believe it.
We are here for you, always have been.
Love, hugs and prayers,
Amy
I do echo that being here is better than being out there. I also agree that you got sober before, can do it again, and you DO deserve it.
I also know that I clung to SR as a lifeline in early recovery (even when I was still lurking) because I didn't believe I deserved anything good. It took a while to believe it.
We are here for you, always have been.
Love, hugs and prayers,
Amy
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
venuscat; I'm glad Dee.
Because my life is too hard for me to deal with any longer.
I have two choices. Give up, or believe in something bigger than me.
I choose to believe that what I found here is real and people do actually care. Giving up is always the easy way out Dear! But in this instance? I don't see you are giving up! You have a medical issue you were given pain meds for! There are times in our lives we need those to survive! Just try not to get too used to relying on them later on!
They will bring you down just like all the other DOC's ppl turn to!
My dad is in hospital with pneumonia and heart failure. I'm sorry!
I am no longer sober. I lost it on pain meds and then just gave up.
I am currently at risk of losing my flat. Who can you turn to for help with this? There are all sorts of help here in the States!! I don't know anything about your part of the world!
I have Venus to look after, and as always, in my very darket days, that has kept me from total addictive insanity. I KNOW "V" is what keeps you going! If she is the reason that keeps your head above water? Then by all means use her to survive!
Just know though you need to look within yourself for that strength! Without it being in yourself FIRST? No one or anything else matters! I damned near lost a lot years ago while in active addiction. When I finally got myself clean and in my right mind again? I was able to research the help I needed to get myself out of trouble!
I am a wreck. We usually are when we are using or have health problems!
I would never have come back if least didn't chase after me... I'm glad someone got thru to you!
I truly no longer believed I deserved any salvation. I think we all feel that way at one point or another in our using and when it's darkest in our world!
I am aware that my mind is clouded, but there is still a part of me that believes that I will be better sober and clear. You betcha! You had a lot of clean time under your feet! You know it's possible to reach again!
This is really hard ~ but this is exactly the truth. (If that makes sense). Get back on the clean and sober road! Things will be a lot clearer when you get there. You'll be able to focus more on getting help instead of where the next drug/alcohol use is coming from!
Hugs to ya! Strength to ya! Take the first step in the right direction!
TOD
V xx
Because my life is too hard for me to deal with any longer.
I have two choices. Give up, or believe in something bigger than me.
I choose to believe that what I found here is real and people do actually care. Giving up is always the easy way out Dear! But in this instance? I don't see you are giving up! You have a medical issue you were given pain meds for! There are times in our lives we need those to survive! Just try not to get too used to relying on them later on!
They will bring you down just like all the other DOC's ppl turn to! My dad is in hospital with pneumonia and heart failure. I'm sorry!
I am no longer sober. I lost it on pain meds and then just gave up.
I am currently at risk of losing my flat. Who can you turn to for help with this? There are all sorts of help here in the States!! I don't know anything about your part of the world!
I have Venus to look after, and as always, in my very darket days, that has kept me from total addictive insanity. I KNOW "V" is what keeps you going! If she is the reason that keeps your head above water? Then by all means use her to survive!
Just know though you need to look within yourself for that strength! Without it being in yourself FIRST? No one or anything else matters! I damned near lost a lot years ago while in active addiction. When I finally got myself clean and in my right mind again? I was able to research the help I needed to get myself out of trouble!
I am a wreck. We usually are when we are using or have health problems!
I would never have come back if least didn't chase after me... I'm glad someone got thru to you!
I truly no longer believed I deserved any salvation. I think we all feel that way at one point or another in our using and when it's darkest in our world!
I am aware that my mind is clouded, but there is still a part of me that believes that I will be better sober and clear. You betcha! You had a lot of clean time under your feet! You know it's possible to reach again!
This is really hard ~ but this is exactly the truth. (If that makes sense). Get back on the clean and sober road! Things will be a lot clearer when you get there. You'll be able to focus more on getting help instead of where the next drug/alcohol use is coming from!
Hugs to ya! Strength to ya! Take the first step in the right direction!
TOD
V xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Gilmer - can't remember if she's 14 or 16 hours ahead of us, on the east coast, but yep - it's morning in Oz, so good morning Venus!!
I was thinking about you, on my drive today. I'm sure I told you that my sweet Elvis kept me sober through some tough times. Never underestimate the power of our furbabies (especially black cats) and the love you have from all of us.
Love, hugs and prayers,
Amy
I was thinking about you, on my drive today. I'm sure I told you that my sweet Elvis kept me sober through some tough times. Never underestimate the power of our furbabies (especially black cats) and the love you have from all of us.
Love, hugs and prayers,
Amy
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Venus, I'm so glad you're here again -- stay close, stay honest with us no matter what, ok? We're here to support you. I know it's hard but you can get better--we all can. Please stay close. ((vcat))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Yes, morning here now.
Thank you all so much ~ pretty amazing to wake up to support like this.
No matter what happens, I don't have to hide in shame now.
Day 1. Thank God.
I have no illusions that it will be easy.
But I will be with all of you.
♥ V xx
Thank you all so much ~ pretty amazing to wake up to support like this.
No matter what happens, I don't have to hide in shame now.
Day 1. Thank God.
I have no illusions that it will be easy.
But I will be with all of you.
♥ V xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
To answer your question from yesterday Fandy, yes, my doctor knows I can't take addictive meds. But I am an addict, so I didn't get them from my doc. Someone gave them to me...anyway, I threw out the last of them last night.
Thank you Gilmer love....and all of you.
I don't deserve this love, but I really need it.
V xx
Thank you Gilmer love....and all of you.
I don't deserve this love, but I really need it.
V xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,334
Venus,
It's wonderful to see you back with us, we've missed you. It's day one and tomorrow will be day 2....stick with us. I'm in FL with Dad, we arrived today. His health is poor, so I understand your concern for your Dad. I thought to myself, I couldn't help Dad like I do, if I wasn't sober. Hugs.
It's wonderful to see you back with us, we've missed you. It's day one and tomorrow will be day 2....stick with us. I'm in FL with Dad, we arrived today. His health is poor, so I understand your concern for your Dad. I thought to myself, I couldn't help Dad like I do, if I wasn't sober. Hugs.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Day 3 love.
And you bet I'm hanging in. Thank you TOD for all of your support! ♥
It just feels so good to be back here.
I feel tired and not very well, but for the first time in ages I don't feel broken.
V xx
And you bet I'm hanging in. Thank you TOD for all of your support! ♥
It just feels so good to be back here.
I feel tired and not very well, but for the first time in ages I don't feel broken.
V xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Yes bunny girl ~ and it's a light I haven't seen for well over a year...maybe more.
It seems so obvious to me now that I was heading for a relapse for a very long time.
So I'm doing better, except for physically.
Withdrawal is so much worse this time.
Really can't stand up today.
V xx
It seems so obvious to me now that I was heading for a relapse for a very long time.
So I'm doing better, except for physically.
Withdrawal is so much worse this time.
Really can't stand up today.
V xx
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