Broken
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Glad to see you checking in Vee and reading, but you know yourself, it's easier when you hear feedback and get support, both ftf and here.
Hope you are doing well.
As someone else said "earth to venus"!
Hope you are doing well.
As someone else said "earth to venus"!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,021
Been a very long time since I've been here.
For the second time, in a stage of enormous panic, least somehow managed to find me.
least my love ~ thank you.
All is almost lost....but maybe it's not too late to save myself. Maybe.
Step 1.
Return to SR.
That's as far as I can get right now.
V xx
For the second time, in a stage of enormous panic, least somehow managed to find me.
least my love ~ thank you.
All is almost lost....but maybe it's not too late to save myself. Maybe.
Step 1.
Return to SR.
That's as far as I can get right now.
V xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,021
I'm glad Dee.
Because my life is too hard for me to deal with any longer.
I have two choices. Give up, or believe in something bigger than me.
I choose to believe that what I found here is real and people do actually care.
My dad is in hospital with pneumonia and heart failure.
I am no longer sober. I lost it on pain meds and then just gave up.
I am currently at risk of losing my flat.
I have Venus to look after, and as always, in my very darket days, that has kept me from total addictive insanity.
I am a wreck.
I would never have come back if least didn't chase after me...
I truly no longer believed I deserved any salvation.
I am aware that my mind is clouded, but there is still a part of me that believes that I will be better sober and clear.
This is really hard ~ but this is exactly the truth. (If that makes sense).
V xx
Because my life is too hard for me to deal with any longer.
I have two choices. Give up, or believe in something bigger than me.
I choose to believe that what I found here is real and people do actually care.
My dad is in hospital with pneumonia and heart failure.
I am no longer sober. I lost it on pain meds and then just gave up.
I am currently at risk of losing my flat.
I have Venus to look after, and as always, in my very darket days, that has kept me from total addictive insanity.
I am a wreck.
I would never have come back if least didn't chase after me...
I truly no longer believed I deserved any salvation.
I am aware that my mind is clouded, but there is still a part of me that believes that I will be better sober and clear.
This is really hard ~ but this is exactly the truth. (If that makes sense).
V xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i am so sorry to hear about your father.
does your doctor know that you are unable to take certain pain meds?
maybe it is time to reach out ftf to family, counseling, your friends and referrals to groups, whatever it takes to stop from jumping off the cliff, cos it is a hard landing, very painful.
i don't have trouble stopping percocet or vicodin, mostly because they screw up my stomach, so it is hard for me to relate.
coming here and staying in touch, helps keep me accountable, even after 4 years, it is like brushing my teeth. and for me it helps tremendously..
visit 24 hours?
Dee is correct, better here than by yourself, strength in numbers for sure!
does your doctor know that you are unable to take certain pain meds?
maybe it is time to reach out ftf to family, counseling, your friends and referrals to groups, whatever it takes to stop from jumping off the cliff, cos it is a hard landing, very painful.
i don't have trouble stopping percocet or vicodin, mostly because they screw up my stomach, so it is hard for me to relate.
coming here and staying in touch, helps keep me accountable, even after 4 years, it is like brushing my teeth. and for me it helps tremendously..
visit 24 hours?
Dee is correct, better here than by yourself, strength in numbers for sure!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,021
I used to feel hopeless. Like there was nothing for me in life. But my attitude changed and now I have hope. As Andy said in The Shawshank Redemption; "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
Pressure makes diamonds
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
Oh Venus my heart aches for you. Sobriety is a bumpy ride. I thought it would be a straight line from drinking to sober. It's not. I too am struggling but SR helps tremendously. It's a safe place to be honest and get support. Please keep checking in. We are all rooting for you. It can get better.
((((Dear venuscat))))).
I haven't had time to read through this thread; I have been a little MIA myself and trying to catch up little by little.
I am very sorry to hear about your father's illness; it is so veryndifficultntonwatchnsomeone you love struggle.
You are well loved, sweetheart. Glad you are back. Stay close, venus; we are solidly in your corner.
I haven't had time to read through this thread; I have been a little MIA myself and trying to catch up little by little.
I am very sorry to hear about your father's illness; it is so veryndifficultntonwatchnsomeone you love struggle.
You are well loved, sweetheart. Glad you are back. Stay close, venus; we are solidly in your corner.
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