helpus

Sure, everyone is welcome, I have plenty. It's a good thing I made a ton, cuz My other daugher is having a friend spend the night & she will be here. Actually I think she might live here now. She has been here everynight excpet one in the last week. I guess I'll see if she startes getting mail here. & my stepdaughter who is never home on a sun, will be here too. So looks like it might work out. But next time I'll tone it down a notch. It's funny how you can forget how to relax.

helpus

live I am so sorry for the loss of your son. How horrable, I had no idea. How long ago was that?
I am glad to hear you will put your and your husbands future as a priority. I hope you can find some peace in all the stuff that you have going on now. Sending prayers.

raerae6

Live, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. (((hugs)))

I know that I appreciated my parents more and more as I got older, your daughter probably will appreciate you more as she gets older, too. I guess all you can really do is tell her that it hurts you when she does (or doesn't do) certain things.

At least it sounds like you have a wonderful supportive man in your life. Where did you meet him?

What is it that you would be doing on this job if you take it? What did you not like about it before?

Live

Thanks all, you have given me alot tonight and thank you for letting me hog the post for awhile.

Anvil, you made me laugh...you are so right...let her be the center of the universe and think she has the world by the tail.

I will go on with my life as I see fit and as it works for me.

Lost the son about 7 1/2 yrs ago. I have come to peace with it, as much as that is possible. There has been alot of healing from it. And I am okay. Do not be concerned about that part of my history.

love and thanks for listening, taking your time and all the support.
It heals me!

Live

RaeRae, thanks for the concern. I started discussing the job thing in WIR today in a thread called quandry...because those women knew me before, during and after the professional life in oil and gas as a title search specialist and abstractor.

BTW....if I go back....I have absolutely nothing to do with what we pay for gasoline, k? LOL

Meeting hubby...ooooo....I hate to tell this, because I was single after my divorce for 13 years and I had one rule...do not date men you meet in bars. I did it twice. The first time...disaster...the second time it was a fine restaurant and bar and hubby had done alot of the artwork and design...and it had been his hangout...and then the one we in the profession at the time chose to hang out in. I wanted to meet the locals...and that was the place to be. I also wanted to have some friends before they found out I was the one filing the suits for emminent domain possession of their property. LOL
Hubby and I just chatted some there for a long time before we dated. I like it that he showed me respect and never hit on me or made innuendos.

Live

I LIKE that anvil. That is sort of how hubby and I became friends first. He said he would NEVER NEVER NEVER marry again....and I told people I would consider it one more time but needed to be very careful...as I do believe in until death do us part and I would not want to have to kill the SOB! LOL

raerae6

LOL!!!

Live

Thank you all for the love, suport, care, concern and time you have given me tonight.
I am turning in.

Sweet dreams to all of you.

And I feel much better...thanks to each of you!
Whew therapists are so expensive! I have you lovely beautiful souls for therapy and care and support.

kj0975

I know I am the "daugheter" in this conversation well as most of u. I can say with some dislike in myself that I have been cruel to my mother not out of hate nor dislike nor let down nor disappointments..... Its just that she is my mother the one I talk to the one that will listen the one that will make it all better. My mom and I boy we have a relationship u could write a horror novel on but..... We love each other its that bond I dont know how to explain it. My mom and I can go months infact one x-mas she kicked me out (long story) and I left with my whole family at my ankles for me not to leave I left..... Then march the FOLLOWING year one of my friends answered my phone in a fake voice u know the "u killem we grillem" type of thing then she looked at me with HUGE eyes and saied (sp lol) its your MOTHER..... WHAT???? I took the phone and we spoke like nothing happened not like we both forgot about it but we know better dont PUSH buttons. We do.

I LOVE my mom and would be lost without her I think Mother and daughter relationships are so dynamic u have the whole thing of "alpha" female and all the hormones and I know better than u. Lets face it we all know NOW that sometimes if not most if the times MOM does know best and it took me 32yrs to figure it out. We get it just like the rest of Lifes things it takes a while. Your daughters will get there we all do eventually sometimes we are slow at getting the hang of our moms were right all along.

Live

thanks Kj...you certainly spoke the truth.

Now...I again thank all of you for taking the time with me last night.

Today is a brand new day.!

kj0975

Anvil I know what u mean about that stuff it would bother me a tad at first too. Then like u I would hang it up somewhere and kinda make light out of the situation if not just to make him sqwirm but then again sometimes that backfires your decor sounds like mine. With all the family pics on the all there is some basketball player still in the plastic hanging there too. Sometimes I think I decorate like its a college dorm. I know all the pics were hung straight when I hung them but now they are crooked u would think I would take the 5seconds to straighten them but oh no not me. That 5 steps might just do me in. Sometimes I swear oh well at least I have a roof over my head it could be worse.

kj0975

Alright I have a ? I'm gonna be kinda vague though. My fiance does this stuff when hes drinking and I HATE it I absolutly hate it. It causes us to fight and he says that he doesnt like going out with me cause we end up fighting but what he doesnt understand is that if he wouldnt do that I wouldnt get mad and we would have a great time. I just dont understand why he does this its like he doesnt even care about my feelings. I dont know it I'm over reacting or not we have had this fight for over 4yrs now and I dont want to have this fight for the rest of my life. To everyone else its like nothing and I am getting upset over nothing but then again I dont think I am. How would u guys handle this?

Live

I had to ponder and I am not sure I can be of any help. But if it has been causing arguments for 4 years it most definately is a problem.
It's hard to address as we don't know what is going on.
But when I was with the A, I would drive separately, if things started going south. I would leave and go home and go to bed.
I have been told that if you tell someone that something really hurts you and they keep doing it then they don't care that they hurt you.
I, personally want more respect and love than that.
There was one issue I had with hubby and it came down to me saying...you choose, you can do that or you can have me. He snuck the that a couple more times and when I found out I packed his stuff. He has decided that "that" isn't worth it.
I don't accept disrespect.
Well, not gracefully anyway.
If someone is going to step on my self-esteem, I need to get out of their way.

Live

ummmm....I wasn't packing his stuff calmly either...I was throwing a real fit. Had to confess that.

I was hurt and I was MAD....we had an agreement, a promise about it long before.

raerae6

Hi, I think Anvil's advice is very good.

Anvil, maybe you can have renee sleep in a different room if that's possible?
Maybe keep the dog out of the bedroom, too.

kj0975

Thanks everyone I will sit him down and really explain this to him. I am not one for ultimatums but..... See how the "talk" goes.

Anvil I really feel for u all I can say is dont let it go too long otherwise it becomes akward when u give it a go. We have the same problem here I dont know why at first I thought it was me and I wasnt attractive to him I have never been in a relationship that there was no sex so I know my relationship isnt based on that. But a girl has needs I made him go to the Dr found out his testosterone was low and he was put on meds for it. The sex increased some but now to my liking but its like we feel weird doing it ya know what I'm talking about? Hopefully it will increase to my liking its just hard. Maybe the end of July he will come around and be the "God" that he can be to you!!!

Live

I don't really think I made an ultimatum...when we first started dating seriously I told him about the choice of that or me. He knew it all along and accepted it.

When I packed his clothes, I was working in Indiana but we still had this rental in Florida for him to go to. I wasn't talking about divorce.

helpus

Do you guys remember when I asked you to keep the family & friends of the 5 Fairport girls that died this past tues? On the side of the high school hill they had carved FP HS alngels 2007. Then they added the initials of all the girls. Last night they out lined it with candles. Today was the calling hours. The high school let the families use the gym for the calling hours. Not all the girls were there, one or two were at funeral homes in the area. The Pastor who did the original speech to the community when the news of the tradgety had just broken, was the one who married my step daughter & son in law. They will soon be selling braclets with all five girls initials & forget me nots on it. My daughters friend who was a classmate did pretty well this week, but I don't know how she is today, now that the closure is there it can sometimes be harder.

finallyout

Hi Everyone!! boy have i missed you guys! looks like i missed alot on here too. i've only read a couple of posts so far but i'm gonna try to catch up tommorrow. i hope everyone is doing ok. all is good here, although i am having a hell of time trying to find time just for me. i have this "theres something more important i should be doing instead" thing which i can't shake. i "should be cleaning, or work for rah's business, or something with the kids" which leaves me no time for me. haven't even made it a face 2 face meeting yet either. i guess i need a little pushing guys. i know i should, but i find myself worrying about rah if i go out without him, i know thats stupid, but i can't seem to shake it. it was much easier to just let go and be detached when i lived two states away from him, but now its constantly all about him! its now 11pm and i should be sleeping cuz i have to get up sooo early to drive out to his jobsite with an extra employee (they don't all fit in his truck) but this is the only time i have to stop in and post here. all right, i'm done whining now, poor me, ha ha. hope you all have a great monday, i WILL make time for SR tommorrow! who knows, maybe i'll even find time to read the newspaper! love you guys!

helpus

ooops, I meant to say, "keep the family 7 friends in your thoughts & prayers" Anyway, sorry if this is a little heavy for this thread, this has just been on my mind.