rose

Hi Everyone...

I feel like such a loser! I met up with a fellow that I met when I was 15 working at a Pancake House, had not seen him in years. He started to call me and call....he called from his work, he called me from this Fish Club that he belongs to, he called one night 12 times when I was not home. I really wasn't to interest in persuing anything, this might sound selfish but he has 3 young boys 9, 10 and 12 that he has most of the time. I love children but I am almost through this stage of my life and really quite looking forward to it.

So I was hesitant, my friends and family said, just go out for a night with him and have some fun. So I agreed to go, but laid the cards on the table before I went...there is going to be no hanky panky...of coarse not he agreed. He took me out for a nice dinner and then took me to the casino....crap I had a great time, he opened doors for me, a real gentleman...didn't try anything on me. He asked if I enjoyed myself and he said he did too, that we could do something this weekend, sure I said...he was off I was off and his children are away with their mom.

Well not a word from him...no phone call...nothing. He even took me off his e-mail.

I have been battling with my HP, why would you put me in this situation to bring me down. Trying to figure out what the purpose of this would be, bring me up to take me down. It felf so nice to be treated nice an uplifting feeling and then bam!

Rose

cece1960

(((Rose)))
I heard around the boards that Ann had her bunny slippers out and ready...don't make me go find her!
You are not a loser. In fact, I'm proud of you for giving dating a chance. So, he wasn't the gentleman that he acted like during your date. No big loss, and if he isn't that man you had a good time with then he can "not call" til the cows come home.
Look at the bright side...its better than 12 calls a night from a jerk, right?

Now chin up Rose...you're worth better
(((Hugs)))
Cece

Lovestoomuch

NO Rose.........you are in no way a loser!! Dating has it's ups and downs and a lot of the times you'll run into creeps like that, but keep your faith honey. I believe we get put through the ringer to test it. I see changes taking place in your life......good changes, but you can't give up now. Hold your head up and believe in yourself. These guys were complete creeps and that has NOTHING to do with you. They'll be creeps to the next woman they take out too. Remember........how they behave is in no way a reflection of you.

cali

His loss--and it just could be a huge blessing in disguise

raerae6

What he does is not a reflection of you! And-remember, you weren't all that interested in the first place? To me the fact that he called 12 times is one night is kind of weird. I get the feeling you are better off without him.

rose

Thanks...that is what my mom told me to, but I told her you have to tell me that you are mom. I just don't get what I did wrong or what turned him off so quickly..keep going over and over it.

Rose

Lovestoomuch

If you didn't pick your nose at the table;
If you didn't break wind in his face
If you didn't let out a big ole after dinner belch, rub your belly and say "damn that was good"
then you DIDN'T do anything wrong. Why is it we always think its something we've done when the fact of the matter is a lot of men don't grow up until they're like 60 anyways and a lot of men are just out and out loser creeps who are just scared to be alone. (no...not you noah but you're the exception...sorta)

ladyamalthea

I agree with Cali. If he wants nothing to do with you b/c of your boundaries then he's not worth it!

raerae6

Rose, I'm sure you did nothing wrong. Just look at it like this, you went out, had a good time, he didn't call, obviously there is something wrong with HIM. Don't put it on yourself-put it on him. Maybe he's one of those guys who was just lookin to get his freak on. I still say calling someone you don't really know 12X in one night is a red flag of some kind. Maybe it isn't all about you, maybe it's all about him-being a loser!

lightseeker

This says a whole lot more about him than it does you - for sure. Maybe he recognized a healthy and wonderful woman and knew that he would be outed as a creepazoid. Anyone that calls 12 times in one night ain't playing with a full deck of cards - especially early on. It's not like you had run off with all of the money in his paycheck and were smoking crack and he needed to find you - by gosh! Now - at least then it makes at least a little bit more sense to call that many times.

Seriously, it sounds like HP is doing you a big favor by allowing you to avoid stepping into another hole in the road. There are nice men out there - I know because I see my friends with them.

More will be revealed....you'll probably find out he had borderline personality disorder, dead plants, dirty toenails, and all kinds of things before long.

Hugs - Donna

GiveLove

Called you 12 times in one night?

Divorced with three kids?

His best idea of a great time for a fine lady like you was to take you gambling?

**{GiveLove's relationship radar goes off: Wooooooooahhhhhhh woooooooaaaaaah wooooooooooooahhhhhhh warning warning warning will robinson warning }}}

Rose: Your HP has just done you a huuuuge favor. Do not dishonor her by trying to make this into something YOU'VE done wrong.

You are swell. Don't you forget that.

rose

Gives....

Now that is hitting the nail on the head...thinking about it now, as we were leaving the restaurant he stopped at the door where they had pull tabs and he through money into that before going to the casino...he said he liked to gamble, but it didn't strike me at the time it meant GAMBLE.

Oh wow...to think going from a crack addict to a gambling addict. I don't mind going to the casino once in a while and playing with $20....thats all that I was thinking it was, but you might be onto something...he probably was gambling all weekend...

No...not for me, thanks very much....and here I was mad at my HP....he was looking after me!

Rose

Ann

Well you just covered yourself ever so nicely, here Miss Rose, my bunny slippers have been twitching all day and I must say this was a close call.

Repeat after me..."I am NOT a loser!! I am NOT a loser".

I will only give you one piece of advice here...everybody lean real close and listen up because this is important and you all should take notes....

"NEVER, but NEVER date a man who calls 12 times in one night, whether you are home or not!!!!"

And gambling with those pull tab cards is strictly for people with problems.

Your HP saw the 12 phone calls in one night and pulled the plug faster than you can say "was he checking up on me???"

Count your blessings, Rose, and this guy was not one of them.

Hugs and Bunny Slipper Nudges

rose

It was 12 times in 15 minutes and first thing in the morning he called from his Fish Club.

Rose

GiveLove

Woooooaaaaaaa oooooogaaaaaa ooooooogaaaaaa ooooooogaaaaaa
[cue megaphone] rose, rose, this is your hp talking, put down the receiver and slowwwwly step away from the phone, rose [end megaphone]



Sorry, rose, I know it's probably not at all funny, but I really do think life just did you a big favor and I know a bunch of us here are grateful. You will be just fine. Think of this dating experience as practice. Practice isn't perfection...it's just...practice. Sometimes you'll make mistakes, sometimes THEY will, it doesn't matter. It's practice, not life and death. Practice as much as you like!!

Hugs,
GiveLove

notsleepingwell

((((Rose))))

I'm just envious that you had a date...lol. I've decided I'll be able to start dating again when I'm sixty (sigh). Have to wait for my grandson to grow up, he doesn't need anymore chaos in his life

Don't beat yourself up. He may have been nice, but it wasn't meant to be...and who knows why!! It may be your HP has something better for you around the corner!

dollydo

Red alert, Red alert, 12 calls in 15 minutes...Red alert!

You did nothing wrong, Mr Right is out there, when they time is right, he will appear and it will flow, like a river.

Noah812

Twelve times in 15 minutes??????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELLL NO..........That is what Loves ex POS did for about 3 hours or 200 calls +. I smell someone with some other issues than gambling...maybe something you dont know about but that is not normal...even if he really really like you that would trigger me big time...A gal i found out was on meth was a big time casino visitor/gambler...i gambled with her one night and everyone knew her...hmmm well all hours she came and went here and there..I was in biluxie Ms. on vacation with my aunt, her friend, she was on meth and they do call like that and obsess on gambling and make quick cash for a hit and run a good scam or a a hustle...sounds weird...consider yourself blessed by the HP...he's got your back when you don't see trouble coming...hang in there

Wascally Wabbit

Rose,
It's absolutely astonishing how many creepy creeps there are out there.
I like the "radar" thing. We should use it more often!!
Whoooo Whooooo, this one's a jerk!

I have learned an important lesson from dating:
Do not expect anything. I used to have these huge expectations before the first date! I would have us married before the first kiss.
My friend says, "Expectations are premeditated resentments". How true. I wound up resenting myself if they never called back.
Now my attitude is:
If it works, it works, if not, it's no big deal....NEXT!
I hope you realize you're not any kind of a loser. You're quite awesome actually.

teke

still praying for ya rose, looks like the sr radar really flew up with this one. kind of funny how the answers just started popping out here. your ok, and i think that you did real good, NOT A LOSER, I THINK YOU ARE A WINNER OVER THIS ONE,