Givenup2018

The Big quack recently

" leave me be, I will get my **** under control"

" I was stressed, I only had two, I can manage it."

Same old, same old

the1975jen

I mentioned this somewhere else but I cant help it..

"If you wouldn't nag me about not drinking, maybe I would drink less" (this is a recycled one from like 2 years ago. Guess he forgot lol)

"I drink more because of the way you look at me when I start drinking."

we also have quacker math in our house. Purchasing 3, 6 packs of tall beers and an 18 pack and/or leftovers from last night, is more better than a 30 pack of regular cans, although the same if not more actual beer, and more expensive. but better, cuz they're sold in packs of 6, I guess.

he cant go to court ordered group meetings because "we never have 60.00." (we both work FT and we dont have a lot but we do have 60.00 and if he would take a day or 2 off beer we would have 60.00 ten times over)

my new personal favorite is the unprompted lie. "I had to go to ____ for work " (no, you didn't want to be home, so you just drove around drinking beer like you do every day). but I didnt ask!

"I missed the court ordered meeting. I thought it started at 7". (he drove around drinking and then never went within 50 miles of the meeting).

"why would you pay the taxes when I have court fees to pay" (the taxes do not disappear cuz you have court fees).

Dahlia85

DH, whats your problem if I drink everyday. You buy coffee when you go to work!!!!!
Me, yeah cos that's the same

SorNS

alwayscovering

AH, who hasnt worked out in a couple of months, just said to me "I ran a mile and a half in 10 minutes today" um sure you did. I just said " that's great" *giant eye roll* I think he ran a 6 or 7 minute mile in the military...almost 20 years ago...with no health issues...I think hes looking for attention but seriously I'm too tired and stressed for this BS today.

PerSe

I have one! Back a few years ago when I was trying to talk to AH about his drinking and asking him to maybe consider setting drinking limits.

Me: "Could you set a healthy limit which would be like one or two drinks per evening?"
Him: "Maybe but it's like you're asking me to just take one or two bites out of a whole sandwich."



I seriously think he has no concept of what a serving of alcohol is. Like he thinks one beer out of a six pack is like one piece of a KitKat bar or something.

OpheliaKatz

Your husband's family are misogynists. What do they think you are? His SLAVE? Can you imagine if YOU were drinking and your family said to your husband, "Are you having sex with her enough?" "Is the house clean enough?" "Maybe you should let her take a few days off a month to go to a wine and book club with the ladies." "Why do you keep impregnating her?" "She must be an alcoholic because you are not a sexy husband, you are not a clean husband, you don't let her have fun boozy times with people of her own gender, and you knock her up! THAT is why she drinks!"

Lol.

Sasha1972

"Is the house clean enough?". Yes, Marie Kondo is the secret weapon in the battle against addiction!

"Do you have sex with him often enough?" Honestly, what kind of weird person is that interested in their son's/brother's bedroom activities? Boundary issues ...

thequest

Almost like a child saying what they did in school that day. Yes, looking I think attention is the goal there. And validation for his effort which should be coming from with-in and not from a that a boy.

Sasha1972

Not sure if this is funny but it sure is a quack:

Alcoholic ex sends my lawyer a letter alleging that I am abetting his other ex-wife in her ongoing attempts to kill him. Apparently he found his tires slashed a while ago and he knows it was her. He's bought a new car since they split up, so how did she know which car to attack? Well, obviously because I took pictures of his car, including license plate, when he arrived for supervised visits with Kid and sent them to the other ex-wife. There is no other possible explanation. If something unpleasant has happened to him, it must be the fault of those two crazy ex-wives, the same people who keep insisting that he has a drinking problem. Women are crazy that way!

Givenup2018

I am convinced that my AH is also a narcissist. I have been doing a codependent recovery course and so much of the past has come back to me, I really believe he has narcissistic tendencies with the **** he has pulled on me, the emotional and psychological abuse.
The most recent quackery
He burnt his fancy leather car seat with a lit cigar, I suspect he’d been drinking also. He told me on the phone about it. I was working the whole week and the Sat and Sunday due to conference so I wasn’t home much. When i came home on Sunday evening after a long week of work, he proceeded to tell me I didn’t respect him. I said how did I not respect him, ‘because my car caught fire and I paid $xxxx to have it repaired and you didn’t care.” I said how could I care when I wasn’t there. You left your car in the workshop and went off from Wed to Sat on an overseas business trip, so what could I do? Quack quack quack……..

FallenAngelina

Some say that all active alcoholics are narcissists. The very nature of addiction is self-centered and external validation driven.

trailmix

Reading another post today (person's Son showed up with no money and a 70 dollar taxi fare waiting to be paid) reminded me of this .

When I was a teenager my Grandmother lived in our house when we were overseas and when we would visit we would stay there.

One night there was a knock at the door and I opened it (my Sister and I were still up, it was maybe 1-2 AM. It's my Aunt (Father's Sister, also an alcoholic). She runs in and slams the door - well tries to, there is a man's arm in the door! She keeps slamming it on the guys arm.

So we go over. Turns out it is the taxi driver that had brought her home, in her befuddled mind I guess she thought she could hide out?

Of course the driver was paid and off he went and she proceeded to chant in the middle of the living room.

trailmix

Another time, another night, my other Aunt (again, Father's Sister) showed up at around 2 AM (these people didn't live there btw, they just appeared from time to time).

I had woken up and answered the door.

She came in and told me that her Husband, my Uncle, had died. He had been sickly for quite some time and was in a care unit.

She cried and talked, I made innumerable cups of coffee or tea over a couple of hours. Eventually around 4 AM I went to bed.

The next morning I said in a low voice to my Grandmother or Mom or Dad - Uncle so and so died which is why Aunt so and so is here.

Yeah well turns out the Uncle was not dead, he was just fine - well as fine as could be expected but certainly not dead.

hearthealth

H: We should have date night and talk more.
Me: Yes, we should.
H: I'm tired of being a nerd. I want to be cool. I want dinner with drinks that's what adults do.
M: (Gives him that look.)
H: What! Don't panic.
M: I don't want it to go back to where it was.
H: It won't.

dandylion

Hearthealth…...I think he is testing your boundaries......

hearthealth

He crosses my boundary I will be gone.

Lunchbox1

Lunchbox1

hearthealth

Date night:
H: I thought you wanted a drink. Don't you want a drink?
Me: I'm fine with a soda.
H:Are you sure?
Me: Yes, I am. (I'm sure the waitress must have had some thoughts.)