QUACKERs.... Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
Originally Posted by Lunchbox1 
AH: Kids are biologically predisposed to favor their mothers over their fathers, that’s why they take your side and disrespect me.
Yep, it has nothing to do with your emotional abuse and alcoholic narcissistic behavior....it’s biology....
Anyone else ever notice that AH could stand for “alcoholic husband” AND a-hole?
Yep, it has nothing to do with your emotional abuse and alcoholic narcissistic behavior....it’s biology....
Anyone else ever notice that AH could stand for “alcoholic husband” AND a-hole?
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Originally Posted by Wamama48
Before I knew not to argue with a drunk.....
Me- you're an alcoholic, you're destroying our marriage with your drinking.
AH-You're the one with the problem. Your problem is with your mom being an alcoholic. It's not that bad, you're projecting this on me when its her you have the problem with.
*Still shaking my head on his reasoning.
Me- you're an alcoholic, you're destroying our marriage with your drinking.
AH-You're the one with the problem. Your problem is with your mom being an alcoholic. It's not that bad, you're projecting this on me when its her you have the problem with.
*Still shaking my head on his reasoning.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Christmas Quakers
EXAH: Kids aren't into Christmas.. Ye they like getting toys but that's all. (cos he didn't want to spend any of Christmas week with kids. I figure he'd made plans with enabler)
EXAH: I'm not an alcoholic.
What about all the affidavits you filed about your alcoholism, your recovery?
EXAH: I filed lots of affidavits. I don't even need to drink. (multiple DUIs, Drunk & disorderlys, trespassing, blackouts, multiple injuries)
EXAH: I want to drop KID1 into school at 6:45am
There IS no school
EXAH: I'll drop them to preschool service. I'll even pay for it.
Why pay for child care when KID1 could be home with his mother for FREE?
EXAH: Its my right as a father!
EXAH: If I'm such an alcoholic.. Why have you given the kids to me on new years eve, it's the biggest party night of the year.
I haven't GIVEN you new years eve. It falls on the day of your court ordered contact. If I withold access that night I'd be done for breaching court order.
EXAH: I'm not an alcoholic.
What about all the affidavits you filed about your alcoholism, your recovery?
EXAH: I filed lots of affidavits. I don't even need to drink. (multiple DUIs, Drunk & disorderlys, trespassing, blackouts, multiple injuries)
EXAH: I want to drop KID1 into school at 6:45am
There IS no school
EXAH: I'll drop them to preschool service. I'll even pay for it.
Why pay for child care when KID1 could be home with his mother for FREE?
EXAH: Its my right as a father!
EXAH: If I'm such an alcoholic.. Why have you given the kids to me on new years eve, it's the biggest party night of the year.
I haven't GIVEN you new years eve. It falls on the day of your court ordered contact. If I withold access that night I'd be done for breaching court order.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 133
During a discussion about the current state of our marriage & our future together.
AH: "Let's just enjoy each day together. When I retire, that's when I'll address my drinking problem. We'll figure it out then."
(he has at least 17 years to retirement)
AH: "Let's just enjoy each day together. When I retire, that's when I'll address my drinking problem. We'll figure it out then."
(he has at least 17 years to retirement)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 134
We’re seperated but AH is coming over in morning to see kids open presents and have dinner with us. And I DID NOT wanna go to the store on X-Mas eve, so I thought this was perfect timing
AH texts from the store: Do you need anything for tomorrow?
Me: Eggnog and ice cube trays (AH took them all when we seperated) because of course he needs 4 ice cube trays.....anywho
AH: will do
This afternoon I go to AH’s to get my stuff and my crock pot, sheet pan etc. I need for tomorrow that he had (he’ll forget them in morning guaranteed) I eye a newly opened bottle of “spiked eggnog” on counter (his fav holiday drink).....OK not my problem anymore. I go in bathroom, when I come out the bottle is gone...must be a magic bottle lol
I say nothing about it.
Me: Is my eggnog in the fridge?
AH: no babe they didn’t have any eggnog (he still calls me babe...ugh)
Me: Alllllrighty then (said in my best Jim Carey voice) lol
AH texts from the store: Do you need anything for tomorrow?
Me: Eggnog and ice cube trays (AH took them all when we seperated) because of course he needs 4 ice cube trays.....anywho
AH: will do
This afternoon I go to AH’s to get my stuff and my crock pot, sheet pan etc. I need for tomorrow that he had (he’ll forget them in morning guaranteed) I eye a newly opened bottle of “spiked eggnog” on counter (his fav holiday drink).....OK not my problem anymore. I go in bathroom, when I come out the bottle is gone...must be a magic bottle lol
I say nothing about it.Me: Is my eggnog in the fridge?
AH: no babe they didn’t have any eggnog (he still calls me babe...ugh)
Me: Alllllrighty then (said in my best Jim Carey voice) lol
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
More Christmas quackers..
EXAH: I'm at the playground.
ME: Bring kids home to mine
EXAH: I had to wake KID2 up from a nap to put her in the car. You need to start coming to my house.
ME: Just bring kids home to me.
EXAH: You don't get to dictate handovers
ME: Yes I do. I have day to day care.
EXAH: No you don't. I spoke to my lawyer about this
ME: You've just woken KID2 up to put her in your car so that I can meet you at a playground and put her into my car and take her home and you think I'm gonna worry about what your lawyer thinks?
All contact this week has been additional the parenting order. I don't have to give him any extra contact. When I arrived... Cos he refused to bring them home.. KID2 was still asleep, so EXAH and KID1 couldn't actually go into the playground.
Insane.. Quacking. He's getting worse
ME: Bring kids home to mine
EXAH: I had to wake KID2 up from a nap to put her in the car. You need to start coming to my house.
ME: Just bring kids home to me.
EXAH: You don't get to dictate handovers
ME: Yes I do. I have day to day care.
EXAH: No you don't. I spoke to my lawyer about this
ME: You've just woken KID2 up to put her in your car so that I can meet you at a playground and put her into my car and take her home and you think I'm gonna worry about what your lawyer thinks?
All contact this week has been additional the parenting order. I don't have to give him any extra contact. When I arrived... Cos he refused to bring them home.. KID2 was still asleep, so EXAH and KID1 couldn't actually go into the playground.
Insane.. Quacking. He's getting worse
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 133
At Christmas dinner with AHs parents (the inlaws)
AH proceeds to head to the couch to "nap" after his meal while everyone is still at the table chatting. Some glasses are getting refilled with the dinner wine.
AHs mother quietly & proudly says: He's not drinking today because he has a cold.
(I'm trying to contain my laughter. No, YOU just don't see him drinking because he got **** faced this morning before he came over for dinner. He's sleeping off his 1st wave, then will hit the 2nd wave when we get home). Ah, the power of denial.
AH proceeds to head to the couch to "nap" after his meal while everyone is still at the table chatting. Some glasses are getting refilled with the dinner wine.
AHs mother quietly & proudly says: He's not drinking today because he has a cold.
(I'm trying to contain my laughter. No, YOU just don't see him drinking because he got **** faced this morning before he came over for dinner. He's sleeping off his 1st wave, then will hit the 2nd wave when we get home). Ah, the power of denial.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by FWN
This morning, laying in bed with AH the day I am moving out for our separation...
”you won’t have any excuses for you bad behavior in a few months when I’ve fixed this problem”
”you won’t have any excuses for you bad behavior in a few months when I’ve fixed this problem”
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 200
This morning he turned up to take our son for a haircut and mentioned he’d had a terrible nights sleep. Woke up with sweats so bad he had to wash all his sheets.
me “again? Happening a lot this isn’t it?”
him “no? It’s not”
me “oh you said this last time I saw you?”
him “oh only that once.... This was the second time it’s happened.... think it’s this cough I can’t get rid of ... .”
(he’s actually mentioned this happening a few times)
me “did you drink yesterday?”
him “I had a couple of beers with dinner and some wine after that’s all..”
me “that’ll be why then” deadpan monotone voice
him “well I’ll just not have any more going forwards. IF that’s what it is of course...”
me “I can pretty much guarantee that it is” 🤐 . (Changed subject immediately to sons haircut) -“right maybe go a bit shorter this time?”
STBXAH left without saying another word.
me “again? Happening a lot this isn’t it?”
him “no? It’s not”
me “oh you said this last time I saw you?”
him “oh only that once.... This was the second time it’s happened.... think it’s this cough I can’t get rid of ... .”
(he’s actually mentioned this happening a few times)
me “did you drink yesterday?”
him “I had a couple of beers with dinner and some wine after that’s all..”
me “that’ll be why then” deadpan monotone voice
him “well I’ll just not have any more going forwards. IF that’s what it is of course...”
me “I can pretty much guarantee that it is” 🤐 . (Changed subject immediately to sons haircut) -“right maybe go a bit shorter this time?”
STBXAH left without saying another word.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
Look over here!
Background: last night he “only” had 2.5 wines in about 40 minutes. He was slurring his words and standing over our child for an extended period of time because kid was breaking rules by snacking while using the phone. Kid commented on the slurring and weird monitoring behavior at the time.
This morning AH sent me lengthy texts complaining about how kid dissed him this morning by not greeting him, and how AH is so disrespected in our home. He blamed it on the kid not liking being told not to snack while on the phone.
I politely suggested that maybe kid doesn’t respect him
because he was slurring and acting weird, and he attacked me for “failing to meet my responsibilities as primary caretaker of the kids” because I was busy helping other kid with college scholarships and didn’t catch snacking kid...
TL;DR: AH being drunk doesn’t cause kid to lose respect for AH. Suggesting it does merits an attack, and leaving the house without saying goodbye.
This morning AH sent me lengthy texts complaining about how kid dissed him this morning by not greeting him, and how AH is so disrespected in our home. He blamed it on the kid not liking being told not to snack while on the phone.
I politely suggested that maybe kid doesn’t respect him
because he was slurring and acting weird, and he attacked me for “failing to meet my responsibilities as primary caretaker of the kids” because I was busy helping other kid with college scholarships and didn’t catch snacking kid...
TL;DR: AH being drunk doesn’t cause kid to lose respect for AH. Suggesting it does merits an attack, and leaving the house without saying goodbye.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by pizza67
.. and he attacked me for “failing to meet my responsibilities as primary caretaker of the kids” because I was busy helping other kid with college scholarships and didn’t catch snacking kid...
BTW: 2 wines for an alcoholic isn't enough to cause slurring etc normally. He might have a secret stash.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
Oh yeah pompous on a whole other level. That’s how he talks ALL THE TIME. Likes to write things like “The Father of the Family” with the capital letters. He just sent out a pronouncement about the Holy Day of Fasting and Abstinence tomorrow (after he was drunk and obnoxious tonight)
With the wines they were 13.5 ABV and he drinks them fast (1/2 hr) on an empty stomach. He cut back since fall but he’s still an A. He might have a stash but even if he doesn’t, he gobbles it down so fast that he’s drunk.
With the wines they were 13.5 ABV and he drinks them fast (1/2 hr) on an empty stomach. He cut back since fall but he’s still an A. He might have a stash but even if he doesn’t, he gobbles it down so fast that he’s drunk.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 194
AH: I slept terrible last night, woke up at 3 and never went back to sleep.
Me: Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much at night, I’m pretty sure it
It’s the alcohol that is causing the sleep disruptions.
AH: No, it’s not that.
Every. Single. Morning
Me: Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much at night, I’m pretty sure it
It’s the alcohol that is causing the sleep disruptions.
AH: No, it’s not that.
Every. Single. Morning
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
Quarantine quacker
Unsafe: me buying flowers at Home Depot, outside, with masks and gloves. I didn’t get to go. He made me feel guilty.
Safe: him going into drugstore full of presumably sick people to “pick up our prescriptions”(buy booze) when there’s a drive thru pharmacy pickup window
Safe: him going into drugstore full of presumably sick people to “
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,984
Originally Posted by pizza67
Unsafe: me buying flowers at Home Depot, outside, with masks and gloves. I didn’t get to go. He made me feel guilty.
Safe: him going into drugstore full of presumably sick people to “pick up our prescriptions”(buy booze) when there’s a drive thru pharmacy pickup window
Safe: him going into drugstore full of presumably sick people to “
Yep . . . Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack
Courage, peace and detachment to you Pizza!
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