LuluBread

The 8 years might throw her off a bit....but I'm thinking you'll both be ok after opening up and telling the truth. Women tend to be the nurturing type, so maybe she might feel bad she couldn't have helped you along the way. Idk, I'm just surmising.

Good luck and sending positive thoughts your way...

rmeatgt350

Yes, it will definitely be difficult to explain to her how this crept up on me. In the beginning I didn't even feel like I had a problem, which I am sure a lot of people on here say. Really I don't want her to blame herself, and I know she will have those thoughts. I have to figure out a way to explain to her that this really has nothing to do with her, as hard as that is to believe. Oh well, it has to be done. I put myself in this situation and now I have to work my self out of it! Thanks for the comments Kit and Lulu.

vladwatt

Checking in....Day 2 and feeling much better than yesterday. Thanks for all the support

SoulShine8

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can. Kit glad to hear you got a meeting under your belt and are ok with it. I'm still hanging in limbo. I found out the classes I have to take which are almost an hour away are four hundred and read on the internet that there will probably be two drug tests at forty apiece. classes are monday nights - I was hoping they would be on a weekend. Once to pay, once for an entry appointment and then every monday for six weeks. I am hoping that a class is starting soon or I will have to wait for the next cycle. My car might be totaled and I don't have the money to get another one or pay for the high insurance. Also the ignition interlock will cost too - if the internet is right probably around twelve hundred for the next year of it. And also my insurance will go up sky high. And then there are fees for getting back my license and the court costs. Please God don't let me lose my job - if I do.. I don't know I'm going to do. I just don't know.

I feel bad for my mom who as always is standing with me, driving me to work and everything else. I'm humiliated, and down on myself. I feel so bad. Why, why, why. My workplace tends to stomp on people when they are down so I'm just trying to keep my mouth shut and work hard. I've done my best to not cry through going to jail, the lawyer, at work or being by myself - but tonite after I found out about the classes I just stood in my kitchen and cried asking God why my life is this way, I've worked so hard and here I am being the dumbass again. No matter what I've done or how much I've been good to people it seems like life just spits in my face. And I'm always alone. Right now I just don't know how I am going to get through the next year... how am I going to get through all these steps... I worry that the next year is going to make me bitter...I told my mom I have no clue how people who have it worse than me get through this when it is seeming so hard for me.

I hope none of you have to go through this.. I hope me writing all of this might warn you that you don't want to go out when drinking or that maybe it gives warning that if you keep drinking you will likely get to see part of my story firsthand for yourself. Please keep coming here or going to meetings or whatever it is that you have to do. Please take care of yourself - cos you matter even if you feel like you don't. I wish I could go back so bad. But I can't. I don't want to drink now, it's the last thing I want to do. I have made up my mind no matter what I have to do - I won't ever again, not for the rest of my life. And I guess that means I will be here too.

biminiblue

SoulShine

waxfruit

I'm sitting in the parking lot of the last treatment center I went to two years ago. I've come a long way. I came off five substances.... I feel like crying. I chose this meeting for a reason. Here I go--

BrightenMeUp

Hey all,

How is everyone ??

I've been mostly reading articles the last couple days to try and figure myself out. I think that my brain has been functioning and coping with stress via alcohol for so long that it doesnt know how to handle them sober yet. Stress from my business and life in general are taking on new meanings, meanings that I need to figure out how to deal with sober and its taking its toll.

Anyway sorry for rambling, im at 22 days now but im not even really counting as much as I am trying to adapt to living life sober.

I'm glad to see all of you guys hanging in there through these tough times, thats so awesome and I wish the best for all of ya's!!

Save me some nachos and cheese

Brighten

Linners820

Hi guys. Nachos and cheese sound amazing right now.

I had a pretty rough day today, lots of emotions, lots of tears. I find that I tend to bottle a lot of feelings (no pun intended) and every so often things just reach the tipping point and I need a good cry.

I’m feeling better now. I treated myself to a nice lavender bath, and am going to give myself a very overdue manicure. Today I also took a leap and confided in a friend (who also happens to be a neighbor) that I’ve been struggling with drinking. She’s 17 years sober now and I had toyed with the idea of talking to her about this in the past but was very hesitant. I’m glad I did, and we had a long chat. I’m happy I added another support to my system

LuluBread

I feel the same with a lot of your posts...

waxfruit

Hello Group

I feel really lucky right now. I didn't realize I was going to a meditation meeting and when they said we would be meditating for twenty minutes I got scared. I didn't think I could do it. -It was great & I feel calm.
It was a small group of old timers. Someone gave me their book which I felt and feel has very good energy. The gentleman next to me was a yoga instructor and invited to be a guest in his class this Friday or anytime he said...
The messages were all positive, about solutions, and spirituality.
I feeel pretty high right now.
I'm going to take the rest of this evening and chill out. I don't think I've truly felt this warm inside for some time.
Thank you all for being here.
Peace.

badgerden

rmeat, you and and are rowing the same boat, just switch gender roles. My husband (married 22 yrs) has no idea how deep I was into drinking. My screw up 2 weeks ago opened up the conversation, and we talked and I cried, we held each other, reaffirmed our commitment to each other, sorry if that is to much information, or sappy. But I still have not been totally open with the bottle hiding, secret drinking, etc and I am not sure I ever could have that talk, at least intentionally. Its his disappointment that i cannot face right now. Maybe when I am stronger, I don't know....

Badge

LuluBread

I'm curious to know if this thought process I'm having of constantly thinking about being sober will go away? How do you empty the mind? The thought of the probability of having to think about this crap everyday FOREVER makes me feel like I'm trapped in a mind warp.

I'm starting to look at people and wonder if they are alcoholics...and starting to think I'm mental for even wondering. I sure hope this is all just a phase...

BrightenMeUp

Trying to figure this one out myself.

LuluBread

I hope you can soon try and just focus on what's happening now. Thinking that far in advance is way too much, especially with the court, and car device...and worrying about your job. Things will start to settle as time passes...

And I just might be contradicting myself in a way after my last post?

Zenyatta

Hi guys, checking,. Doing pretty good these 14 days, and feeling more and more like I can do it. I don't want to get too confident, but it feels good to have two weeks under my belt.
I thought about drinking all the time for the first ten days, now it pops in my head around dinner , but if I keep busy it fades. I hope that trend continues.
Hang in there group mates, it will get better.

bobdrop

Meat, I completely understand about 8 years. I've been married 34 years and after time, there's just some things that are not talked about. Pretty much avoidance. Anyway, this is what has led to my current issue. I have a very strong willed wife. We hit a tough subject and we just bury it. I tried talking to her about my drinking tonight and it didn't go very well. I plan on continuing to bring up the issue until there is an honest conversation. This is something that is not easy for me. I don't like confrontations. Unless it's someone I don't like

Anyway, class, I appreciate all the support. I have spent most of today thinking things through. Some of my conclusions are that this group is the only group that I can talk to that understands me. That is priceless. I also appreciate the ones here that have much experience and wisdom(Dee). I plan on spending the next few days getting more open with my wife. After 34 years, she has to be involved all the way in my sobriety.

bobdrop

BTW-Bob will work. No need to add drop. Long story.

bobdrop

The whole honesty thing is kicking in. Bob was my oldest brother. Died in 1996 from MS.

badgerden

Soul- I work in the prison system, and I know how so much of the process is almost a set up to fail. For what it is worth, we cannot change the past, what is done is unfortunately done. The future,, well, keep a solid paper trail, talk to your attorney, find out if there are any programs that can assist you with travel, payments etc. be proactive. Please do not curl up and let the process get you further down, easier said than done I know.

LuLu- everytime I see anyone at the store with a magnum bottle of wine, especially if they have a water bottle along I wonder if they are like me. than I wonder if someone else looked at me and wondered the same thing!!

Badge

bobdrop

Badgerden, I do IT in corrections in Florida.