Be as you are Weekender August 5th Part 2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I mean, do I pine over them? Hello, yes.
Do I wish it had been better or fixable or different? YES! But if someone isn't willing to hear me when we are living together or being intimate, then the chance of them hearing me after that is over seems to me to be 0%.
The one who hurts me is not the one to heal me.
Do I wish it had been better or fixable or different? YES! But if someone isn't willing to hear me when we are living together or being intimate, then the chance of them hearing me after that is over seems to me to be 0%.
The one who hurts me is not the one to heal me.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I think I have a hard time letting go of people in general. It is too final maybe? Yes, there were problems, but I think I tend to see more good especially once I am no longer with them. Like, I felt it was a sad thing to let go of all the experiences, no, impossible to.
Um, maybe thats why I write? Guess I should let the person go and preserve the images and details through writing.
Yep, thats the answer.
Um, maybe thats why I write? Guess I should let the person go and preserve the images and details through writing.
Yep, thats the answer.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
SoberPot, funny you should say that. I always use a journal for any problem I'm having.
I write in my computer, where I can keep up with my thoughts. Screw the longhand journal. I will write daily until I get relief. It's always fixable for me, in my head if I give it enough words. I can go down some scary places when something big is bothering me, but once I follow it to its conclusive origin - I'm done with it.
My last breakup took about six months to get over. I never contacted him - although I knew the door was open. He wanted to stay friends. No. I spewed out all the anger and frustration and disbelief and abandonment issues and daddy issues and everything I could think of - to my journal. One day I just started being positive in my writing and having no more venom left. That was a good day and I knew it was over. I can only be so mad for so long, and then it burns out.
I write in my computer, where I can keep up with my thoughts. Screw the longhand journal. I will write daily until I get relief. It's always fixable for me, in my head if I give it enough words. I can go down some scary places when something big is bothering me, but once I follow it to its conclusive origin - I'm done with it.
My last breakup took about six months to get over. I never contacted him - although I knew the door was open. He wanted to stay friends. No. I spewed out all the anger and frustration and disbelief and abandonment issues and daddy issues and everything I could think of - to my journal. One day I just started being positive in my writing and having no more venom left. That was a good day and I knew it was over. I can only be so mad for so long, and then it burns out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Exactly, SP. For me a breakup is not only the end of an obsession, but the beginning of a new one. "What if? How dare he? Why did I say that? He's crazy if he thinks I'd..." so yeah, the journal is a way to get all those thoughts out of my head. AND to say all the things I am too polite to say out loud to anyone else. 
Because when I break up with someone, I'm mad. Really mad. There is sadness, sure, but mostly I'm mad - at him - at myself - at God. You name it. I guess that's ego, but I'm pretty sure all humans have difficulty when losing love. It's not something any of us want to get good at.
Because when I break up with someone, I'm mad. Really mad. There is sadness, sure, but mostly I'm mad - at him - at myself - at God. You name it. I guess that's ego, but I'm pretty sure all humans have difficulty when losing love. It's not something any of us want to get good at.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Evening all. Glad to see the weekenders are still keeping things moving as we move into Monday and Tuesday.
Was feeling overworked today, I was hoping to ease into my week but things went full throttle at 6am this morning when I logged in. Made for a textbook case of the 'Mondays'. I was down but I rallied - I went to town and found this new place with a heckuva view. Talked to neighbors. Played with the dog next door, and stopped to take care of some pesky business that I'd been pushing off in town. Makes a world of difference, just getting out and being sober - I never fail to appreciate how I am able to improve my mood these days without substance or alcohol abuse. Thankful for it!
Was feeling overworked today, I was hoping to ease into my week but things went full throttle at 6am this morning when I logged in. Made for a textbook case of the 'Mondays'. I was down but I rallied - I went to town and found this new place with a heckuva view. Talked to neighbors. Played with the dog next door, and stopped to take care of some pesky business that I'd been pushing off in town. Makes a world of difference, just getting out and being sober - I never fail to appreciate how I am able to improve my mood these days without substance or alcohol abuse. Thankful for it!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Finally home. Pets to placate, then ice cream in bed. Ahhhh. Fresh Wisconsin air.
Great coffee pic, Big S.
Can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow. I could use another day off. Well, a day off. What I just did was no vacation.
Great coffee pic, Big S.
Can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow. I could use another day off. Well, a day off. What I just did was no vacation.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Great job on adulting, Marty!
I know it's draining.
I tried to turn the a/c off but it gets too hot in here. Bugs me to have the a/c on when it really isn't that hot out. It sounds like money burning, haha!
I wish I had some ice cream.
I know it's draining.
I tried to turn the a/c off but it gets too hot in here. Bugs me to have the a/c on when it really isn't that hot out. It sounds like money burning, haha!
I wish I had some ice cream.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Hey, my dad did give me a compliment. He said it was nice to have someone competent around. This was after treating me like an idiot a lot of the time. I finally started getting a bit snippy with him because he kept reminding me to do things or trying to tell me how to do them. I guess he's really not used to having someone around who knows how to get sh*t done. The people who come in to help him occasionally must not be that bright. I really don't need to be told how to do things, or have someone checking up on me, but I think he forgets that. Or something. Dunno. Anyway it's over until next time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Mld- that's how roanoke was treating me- as if I'm an idiot that needs the big strong man around to show me how to do things.
* snap and ghetto head shake*
One of us is going to prison and the other is going to grad school..........
Anyway- I didn't make it tonight.
Maybe I should keep my relapses to myself?
I never know what the right thing to do is- just being honest.
I know I'm not the only failure around- I figure I should just be totally honest.
But if it's triggering others I can be quiet.
Though I do get a few messages from others who are still drinking.
So I'm not alone.
* snap and ghetto head shake*
One of us is going to prison and the other is going to grad school..........
Anyway- I didn't make it tonight.
Maybe I should keep my relapses to myself?
I never know what the right thing to do is- just being honest.
I know I'm not the only failure around- I figure I should just be totally honest.
But if it's triggering others I can be quiet.
Though I do get a few messages from others who are still drinking.
So I'm not alone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,327
Sorry about the horrible ear infection. I'm totally with you I've been struggling with recurring ear infections since last year's when my ear drum got a perforation. Finally got a referal. ..26 week waiting list! Oh well at least I'm on the list. X
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,470
I don't think you're a failure either J.
You could leave SR throw your hands up and jump right back into the life that bought you here...but you don't you keep trying.
Whatever it is that keeps you trying - feed it
D
You could leave SR throw your hands up and jump right back into the life that bought you here...but you don't you keep trying.
Whatever it is that keeps you trying - feed it
D
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,207
Morning everyone,
I hope your eardrum heals Petals, that sounds uncomfortable
Venny, your grandmother sounds like a nice lady. The house isn't open every day so that might be why you didn't go in
Superb pic BigSomb, you really make Guatemala look like an ideal vacation spot
I hope your eardrum heals Petals, that sounds uncomfortable
Venny, your grandmother sounds like a nice lady. The house isn't open every day so that might be why you didn't go in
Superb pic BigSomb, you really make Guatemala look like an ideal vacation spot
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