Back to Sober Basics Weekender April 8th Part 2
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,210
Originally Posted by Behan 
:
Question. How do you respond/react if someone gets irritable bordering on angry with you? Interested in the opinion of others.
B
Question. How do you respond/react if someone gets irritable bordering on angry with you? Interested in the opinion of others.
B
I suppose it depends on what they are angry/irritable about. Usually I just restate my position on whatever it is that is causing friction and why it is what it is
Meh! - i have run out of tea
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Originally Posted by Behan
Question. How do you respond/react if someone gets irritable bordering on angry with you? Interested in the opinion of others.
B
B
Like Sao said about what's causing the friction.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
I hope your situation subsides, Behan.
I can be extremely aggressive and confrontational, depending on the person and the perceived offense. So I better not say anything bc I get up in people's faces quite often if I think they're being a bumtron. I am working on that.
There are some people I am intimidated to confront and it has nothing to do with their temper or strength, it's a vibe I get.
So I guess I pick and choose based on that, and based on how much I care about a job at the time womp womp
Ego based indignation and self righteousness and arrogance are all issues for me.
I just want to send you support without encouraging you to froth at the mouth as I sometimes do.
Xoxo
I can be extremely aggressive and confrontational, depending on the person and the perceived offense. So I better not say anything bc I get up in people's faces quite often if I think they're being a bumtron. I am working on that.
There are some people I am intimidated to confront and it has nothing to do with their temper or strength, it's a vibe I get.
So I guess I pick and choose based on that, and based on how much I care about a job at the time womp womp
Ego based indignation and self righteousness and arrogance are all issues for me.
I just want to send you support without encouraging you to froth at the mouth as I sometimes do.
Xoxo
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
My conflict-avoidance may well be in full form tomorrow.
Last week, an elderly uncle died. He was married to my mother's sister.
This is the second time in a couple months when I've noted the loss of a relative here on SR and -- again -- I know that there will be kind words. And -- again -- this is an instance where I was not close to the person who died. And -- again -- a life not lived to its fullest because of addiction.
My uncle was an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. Decade upon decade of untreated alcoholism. (Frankly, I am pretty surprised he lived to the age he did.) My aunt can be a difficult person, both by her own nature and, undoubtedly, as a result of her marriage.
It takes its toll in so many ways. Out of respect for my extended family, I'll not detail them, save to say that the undercurrents of turmoil have left my cousins, his kids, barely on speaking terms with one another over one perceived slight or another. And that's really sad. Individually, they are all very nice people. I like them and consider myself fairly close to girls. One to one, we have a ball together. But being around them when they are together is difficult; the tension fills the air and the pettiness comes out in silence or sarcasm.
I'd like to think that they'll rise above it all, but if past is prologue, that's not likely. So it'll be a three-hour drive each way, with hope that there are no snipes directed at my dear mother (or me) by her sister or toward anyone else or that any of us get stuck in the middle of the cousins' acrimony.
So let's give ourselves much-deserved kudos for seeking out a better life. The improvements we build for ourselves are matched by the ripple effects they create in our larger worlds.
Last week, an elderly uncle died. He was married to my mother's sister.
This is the second time in a couple months when I've noted the loss of a relative here on SR and -- again -- I know that there will be kind words. And -- again -- this is an instance where I was not close to the person who died. And -- again -- a life not lived to its fullest because of addiction.
My uncle was an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. Decade upon decade of untreated alcoholism. (Frankly, I am pretty surprised he lived to the age he did.) My aunt can be a difficult person, both by her own nature and, undoubtedly, as a result of her marriage.
It takes its toll in so many ways. Out of respect for my extended family, I'll not detail them, save to say that the undercurrents of turmoil have left my cousins, his kids, barely on speaking terms with one another over one perceived slight or another. And that's really sad. Individually, they are all very nice people. I like them and consider myself fairly close to girls. One to one, we have a ball together. But being around them when they are together is difficult; the tension fills the air and the pettiness comes out in silence or sarcasm.
I'd like to think that they'll rise above it all, but if past is prologue, that's not likely. So it'll be a three-hour drive each way, with hope that there are no snipes directed at my dear mother (or me) by her sister or toward anyone else or that any of us get stuck in the middle of the cousins' acrimony.
So let's give ourselves much-deserved kudos for seeking out a better life. The improvements we build for ourselves are matched by the ripple effects they create in our larger worlds.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Long day, I have to work tonight too but I'll take a break for a couple hours.
My brother called my mom I guess and said " I think Jen needs you"
Probably because I've been waking up early to work and staying late to work.
Dishes are overflowing in the sink, house is kinda messy, no clean towels which is unlike me, car is a disaster.
I'm not depressed or anything, just overwhelmed.
So my mom came today to clean my house, do my laundry, cook me some meals and freeze.
I'm so thankful.
My brother called my mom I guess and said " I think Jen needs you"
Probably because I've been waking up early to work and staying late to work.
Dishes are overflowing in the sink, house is kinda messy, no clean towels which is unlike me, car is a disaster.
I'm not depressed or anything, just overwhelmed.
So my mom came today to clean my house, do my laundry, cook me some meals and freeze.
I'm so thankful.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Lunar! Glad you posted.
I know how you feel- I had two flus one after another last month and was so sick for for about a month, I nearly lost my grip- well actually I did lose it.
The flus and the cleanse were too much.
I know how you feel- I had two flus one after another last month and was so sick for for about a month, I nearly lost my grip- well actually I did lose it.
The flus and the cleanse were too much.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by ScrewdUpInDe
So instead of your brother helping out he calls your mom to come over, nice. 
I'm done trying to figure out his thinking- I just can't understand.
My mom actually took my side this time which is rare.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by ScrewdUpInDe
Truthfully his thinking worked, got things done around the house without him having to lift a finger. I guess he had to lift a finger to dial the phone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Ven, thank you for the reminder. Ugh, the strange and prickly family dynamics from having an alcoholic in the family... my mother's drinking created some very weird roles and it is all so exhausting and just plain HEAVY. I hope your cousins find comfort and friendship amongst each other in time. I'm sure it's painful for them even though they might not behave very nicely.
Jen, seriously? Your brother needs a boot up the backside. I'm glad your mom helped you. I hate thinking of you working so hard and stretching yourself and this dude calls Mommy Maid. Yeah maybe the cleanse was intense but your heart was in the right place and you will bounce back.
Ignore my previous advice to Behan, this is a situation where I would go off in an Operation Shock and Awe verbal assault leaving no stone unthrown. I would even write down every resentment and consequence in your life from his moochy lazy sense of entitlement.
Kind of like a completely backwards dysfunctional amends in the form of a tirade. That's how I roll when I've been pushed to my limit and I SEE THE PERSON AWARE AND ENJOYING TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME.
It really chaps my hide, I tell ya.
If you want me to FaceTime him and go off for you, I will. I'm so irritated now!
Xoxo
Jen, seriously? Your brother needs a boot up the backside. I'm glad your mom helped you. I hate thinking of you working so hard and stretching yourself and this dude calls Mommy Maid. Yeah maybe the cleanse was intense but your heart was in the right place and you will bounce back.
Ignore my previous advice to Behan, this is a situation where I would go off in an Operation Shock and Awe verbal assault leaving no stone unthrown. I would even write down every resentment and consequence in your life from his moochy lazy sense of entitlement.
Kind of like a completely backwards dysfunctional amends in the form of a tirade. That's how I roll when I've been pushed to my limit and I SEE THE PERSON AWARE AND ENJOYING TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME.
It really chaps my hide, I tell ya.
If you want me to FaceTime him and go off for you, I will. I'm so irritated now!
Xoxo
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Oh HAF, I hope the antibiotics start doing their thing very soon! So miserable! 
Glad your migraines better wolfie! I get one or two a month and Zomig has saved my life! I keep one with me at all times!
Speaking of rednecks....I used to believe rednecks only existed in the south but I've come to realize rednecks are everywhere. I met more rednecks up north than anywhere. And they made really good moonshine too...the spiced peach tasted just like fruit juice. Anyway...that was a lightbulb moment for me for some reason.
Ruby....hope you come up with something for your dad's bday without too much stress. I hate when stuff like that creeps up on you!
This has been a super busy day! Just got home from work and I'm pooped. These long days are wearing me out. I'm eating peanuts for dinner and I've come to accept that it's just the way things are. Oh, thanks for The Lemon Song, Mesa. Mmmm......
Oh Marty, when do you start work??
Glad your migraines better wolfie! I get one or two a month and Zomig has saved my life! I keep one with me at all times!
Speaking of rednecks....I used to believe rednecks only existed in the south but I've come to realize rednecks are everywhere. I met more rednecks up north than anywhere. And they made really good moonshine too...the spiced peach tasted just like fruit juice. Anyway...that was a lightbulb moment for me for some reason.
Ruby....hope you come up with something for your dad's bday without too much stress. I hate when stuff like that creeps up on you!
This has been a super busy day! Just got home from work and I'm pooped. These long days are wearing me out. I'm eating peanuts for dinner and I've come to accept that it's just the way things are. Oh, thanks for The Lemon Song, Mesa. Mmmm......
Oh Marty, when do you start work??
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Originally Posted by Melina
I bet Mesa has something good to say bc he's been through this with MesaMate's bumtron bro.
Shaking my fist at anyone who dare take advantage of my Weekender family!
I will unleash the bees on you!
Shaking my fist at anyone who dare take advantage of my Weekender family!
I will unleash the bees on you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Haha!! Awwww! Thank you Melina- I'm waiting for him to get home tonight and I'll probably lay into him while I'm mad so I actually do it.
I can imagine melina unleashing her bees!
Xoxo haf- UTI's are the worst.
I can imagine melina unleashing her bees!
Xoxo haf- UTI's are the worst.
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