enfinthechange

Did it.... spoke to doc, got alcohol counselling app next wed and counselling regular in Jan. .... my friends at work have been awesome today... am blessed in that sense!!!! Thanks guys.... xxx

IronPhoenix

Fantastic Efin!! I have my first counseling appointment today - looking forward to taking these steps with you.

KiKi0615

That's great Enfin! You sound really desperate for change. I believe in you!!! You can do this!

If you ever start thinking about drinking again, come here & read your old posts. You won't want to drink anymore. That's what I do.

Praying for you!

Hawkeye13

Great job enfin!
I'm glad workmates were supportive.

You have taken some really positive action here--
Well done

Sometimes the only way out is through.
One step, and then another, and before long you will begin to see your way clear.

OpenTuning

That's wonderful news Enfin!

You've reacted to what happened in the best possible way, taking positive steps to improve your life. It would have been so easy to sink into despair and try and cope with that using alcohol, and the whole downward spiral that leads to. While I'm sure you wish your wake up call wasn't this brutal, it really feels like there's a path to a better, more fulfilling life opening up for you now.

Anna

Fantastic, Enfin!

Soberwolf

Way to go Enfin

biminiblue

Good deal, enfin.

It's going to be okay. Just don't pick up a drink today.

Healthygoals

Great job E!

wpainterw

Super! Enfin
Now that you've got it going, Keep it going. Don't let up. One day at a time. You'll see. It will keep getting better and better. The past will recede into oblivion. Try not to think about it Don't look too far ahead but if you persist there is sunshine and happiness there for you. Remember. It is far easier and less risky if you have companions on your journey- recovering alcoholics with some sobriety. Do it together. Get medical and professional help when needed. Every good wish.

W.

sobermax

Good work Enfin!

Taking action is empowering in itself. I bet things already seem more positive. You sound much more upbeat. Ace!

PurpleKnight

Fantastic news Enfin!!

jryan19982

My wife would let me go out and do what I wanted as well. It wasnt that she was supporting my drinking but she knows I am my own person and I will do what I want to do whether she says so or not. Maybe that is the case with your husband.

All my friends I thought drank like fish as well. I thought... then I realized it was me who was drinking like a fish and most of my friends would control their drinking. Not me. I just thought they all drank like me.

Im a guy... and guys will be nice and flattering because they know that it might lead to getting that person in bed or whatever. Dont take them at face value. Usually at a bar that is what is on guys minds... sex.

So all that being said, if you are serious about stopping, then do it. And dont look back. You cant change what is in the past. Only what lies ahead. I hope you find the willpower to quit for good and show your family what kind of person you really are.

Drinking brought out the worse in me. Did make me an evil person, I was still good at the heart, but I didnt do nice things. Drinking really makes people different. Only your actions will show if you want to change. Talk with your husband. The worse you can do it not talk to him. Be honest about your problems, what drove you to get with that guy at the bar and how you could have done things differently.

Best of luck to you.

enfinthechange

Guys, I can't say how.much it means to read your posts... it's not all rosy, but do u know, I think I can start to feel my own mind.... I thought hard today about things and I could feel myself in there somewhere... damaged and wounded but not evil.... the relief when talking to the doctor was astounding. She want judgemental of my crying and tales of disaster... and agreed maybe it was alcohol as well as relationship difficulty (intertwined for sure) she didn't frown or look down. And wants to see me again soon to see how I'm doing! Wow
My workmates enabled me to chat openly and tried to help, we even laughed about it in places, like the fact he was 22 and I'm 41.... (they are 43 and could understand the temptation a bit and took the ****)

I came home and tried to chat to my husband, and got a little chat... he doesn't hate me but is very sad indeed, and scared what people will think.... sad I made those choices and reminded of the couple of very drunk times it happened many years ago, so ultra sad. Beer and emotions don't mix with me, I haemorrhage affection all over the shop....

But he didn't shout or scream and I saw my man there, the one I love... he's been hidden a while I think. Dunno how to tell him, but I'm not giving up.

When I was tidying up the kitchen, I found the brandy and immediately thought of a slug. Then though, no, why, paused and played the tape through... and just closed the door. Yes ha!!! I need to stay sober and find me again.....

I even told all my drinking workmates it was alcohol that was the problem and I was giving it up.

I hope for sobriety and reconnection with myself, thus clarity and ability to build a better relationship with my husband. Not sure if we can, but will try my best.

It's all down to you guys... I'd be dead, drunk, cut up or crashed if it wasn't for you lot... I can't tell you how very special that is. Big love from the bottom ofmy heart x

wpainterw

enfin: It's great what's happening. Congratulations! It sure won't be perfect at the beginning or any time. Life's not perfect. But from the sound of it it's going to be better for you than it ever was and not worse than it ever was (which was the way things were heading if you hadn't managed to turn it all around). You will now feel your true self coming back. It will take a while. And your AV (It's still there; it will always be there) getting weaker and weaker. Keep it in its cage. You'll hear it now and then but ignore it. Strengthen the rational part of your mind and feel the real you coming back. Give your husband time to heal, his love for you to return. Be patient. One day at a time.

W

Hevyn

Very proud of you, Enfin. This makes us so happy.

Hope2014

Hi Efin,
I think we all have done embarrassing things while under the influence. I'm sorry that you are in such a bad place right now. Do know that in time this will heal. The most important thing that you can do for yourself now is to claim your sobriety, which will give you back your peace of mind. I think that commitment can help in healing your marriage as well. I wish you well.
Hope

jryan19982

Im glad you are in better spirits today.

And you mention what everyone else will think etc. When it comes down to it, it doesnt matter what everyone else thinks. What matters is what your family thinks. Just do things for them and hopefully better times will come.

FormerWineGirl

Hope2014 is right, we have all done embarrassing things while drunk to varying degrees, from mild to hideous. Sometimes I think back to some of my own shenanigans and I cringe! But that is in the past and I decided to be someone who can look herself in the mirror and see a respectable lady, and it feels good. We have the power to be whatever we want, and I wanted more for myself. You do too, and you have taken that first step. We are all proud of you! 👍

biminiblue

You sound so much better already. I'm happy about that.