buk1000

Ride it out Frank. It will pass.

FrankLapidas

Thank you, Buk. But I know now it will never pass.

Della1968

You can do this Frank. Early sobriety does get tiring but at least there is hope in it there is no hope in drinking. Just more chasing your tail. You just need enough time away from it to start to heal.

site1Q84

It may not ever fully pass, but it will get easier with time. You just have to stay strong while you get to the easier parts.

A few months ago, or a year ago, did you ever think you would have 5 days?
I sure didn't. And a few months from now you'll be amazed that you have even more time than that.

thomas11

Like a lot of people I think you are looking for that instant gratification that the demon will give you, but you know by now....you'll regret it. And the cycle begins all over. Keep posting and try and forget about the booze. Do you have some responsibilities tomorrow that will need your full attention? Pretty much everything (if not everything) in life is more important than alcohol.

FrankLapidas

No, Della, I can't.

There is a time in all our lives when we have to accept reality.

This is my reality.

There are worse fates.

Della1968

Frank you are drinking I think we can safely say you are not in the best position to decide what is reality. It is not a fate you have to accept.

FrankLapidas

Yes, I am drinking. But one thing I will not do is come back tomorrow with another Day 1, with everyone fawning over for for me for keeping on keeping on. That's self serving horsesh*it. People here celebrate relapses.

I'll not be a party to that.

Venecia

No. They don't.

Go to bed, Frank, and sleep it off.

dwtbd

I hope for your own sake , you do come back. I don't celebrate relapses, I don't really like the term. I see it as not having quit, or returning to drinking pretty much based on length of time between drinking sessions.
Switch to water and get some rest , come back and decide to quit, for your own sake.

ScottFromWI

So dump out what you have and end the drinking now. Why wait until tomorrow? Accepting that you are destined to drink is just as much horsesh*t being fed to you by your addiction, maybe even more.

ZaBoozer

Well Frank, time to get up and dust the old bicycle off. Have a look at urge surfing mate. It might be a tool worth adding. I understand you're drinking, not going to get into an argument with you if you're pissed. You got to want to be sober more than you want to drink. We'll see you later for day one. Just remember this though - each time you do this, the withdrawal is going to get worse and even more dangerous. For what it's worth, chuck the ******* rum out as soon as you can.

Dee74

No one celebrates relapses. You're filtering things through self loathing and confusing 'celebration" with compassion, empathy and a lack of judgement.

What does happen sometimes though is people - or at least their inner addict - try to push away great support systems and self sabotage their recovery Frank.

Don't do that

See you tomorrow.

D

Incontrol15

There's a lot of truth spoken here.

Some people need to learn the hard way (myself included). They say I quit, and times get really tough, and the AV wins a battle. It doesn't take long for the true inner voice to gain control and say "I quit" again. Normally there are lessons learned and adjustments made to the quit plan.

Remorse and lack of self worth are not a good recipe for success. Almost ALL alcoholics have relapsed. Many here on SR, and many before coming to SR and this place was a change in the plan for them.

How many people here on SR decided to quit and nailed the home run during 1st time at bat?

There's a lot that goes into quitting successfully. Much more than simply abstaining from alcohol, even though that's a huge piece of the puzzle.

SR is very relaxed. Sometimes people need accountability. That's better achieved with real human interaction. Any kind of quit group will serve better for that. A relapse can be responded to with empathy, should be responded as such. But some need that extra step. The step to make them look back and identify the cause then help develop a change in plan accordingly.

Hevyn

I hope you will return Frank. We care about you.

Incontrol15

Reading again what I posted...
Sounded like my opinion is that some people are better off with live groups only, and that wasn't my intention. I think BOTH are important. That's just my opinion. Some can get by with just SR, and that's great. SR is an awesome tool and there's awesome support here. There's a chance SR is all I need, but I'm not going to find out the hard way.

Thanks. Just wanted to clear that up.

And yeah...I really hope Frank comes back. He has so much to offer. Can you imagine how many lives would change because if Frank? I'm sure there's people surfing this site every day that is going through what he's going through. Sometimes it just takes one person to connect with them and let them know sobriety RULES!

Dee74

I hope you come back - for your own benefit Frank. You deserve help and support and care too

D

Hawkeye13

check in tomorrow

noexcuse

Thinking of you. I read your replies yesterday to QuietToday. You have a lot of insight and so much to offer if you can get out of your own head. It's not a bad spot to be.

Cissy

Hi, Frank. I just found this thread this evening and binged all 14 pages of it. I loved your sense of humor and can only imagine what you would be like if you were free from this monkey on your back. You're a special guy and it shows.

I'm in the midst of a relapse myself and that's why I haven't been posting. I was ashamed and like you, don't like the cheerleading when you start over again. You don't feel you deserve it cause you ended up letting go of your sobriety and you have less confidence in ever kicking the habit. I get that.

I want to say something that I find works best for me when I'm sober. I don't count days. To me, that's just setting yourself up for trouble. I keep in mind what day (around about) that I stopped drinking and then as months pass, I count them up. I got to almost 2.5 before I felt sorry for myself (being left out at family functions where others were drinking.) I didn't drink that weekend but about 5 days later I started again.

I felt so good when I was sober. My attitude and outlook was strong and positive and I had goals that I was going to meet this year, no matter what! But since starting to drink again, I have been so deep in a pit of despair that I took 3 times as many sleeping pills as I should have the other night and hoped for the best. I woke up the next day.

Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? It's poison! It's killing us and its sucking our joy and potential right down the drain. No matter how many times we fall short, we can't give up. And it's in no way a celebration of relapse, but a clap and a hand on the back to get going again. Because failure is not an option.

Come back, and stop counting days.