Jillian2563

That's great! I don't think getting bad news would stop you from drinking. Well, it didn't for me anyway. Stay strong!

FrankLapidas

Indeed, Dee. In fact the doc provided a rather vivid example of a former patient who was in a situation similar to mine. The reason the patient is "former" is that he's dead. Took him only six months to totally torch his liver.

On a cheerier note I guess I'm starting Week Two. Not counting days this time, but it's somewhere in that neighborhood.

Thanks to Shabby, Jillian,, Thomas, Dee, Boozer, Wolf, Eric, Mystified, Jsbodhi, Casey, Olivia, Notimetolose, Gina, Hevyn, and Cissy for checking in on this thread. It is a blessing to have your support.

As for my day, I'm going to take care of some unpleasant personal biz I've been procrastinating on. A sober mind tends to avoid procrastination, or at least it does for me.

Also gonna try to visit some other threads and offer whatever support I can.

And catch up on the last coupla episodes of Mr. Robot!

Soberwolf

Congrats on your sober time Frank

saoutchik

Congratulations on a week Frank.

The sweating should stop soon and hopefully the insomnia eases a bit (took me two months to start sleeping 'well')

Good luck

FrankLapidas

Guess I must be brain dead. Couldn't find it. I need to sharpen my stalking skills. Post the link here, maybe?

FrankLapidas

I did, Wolf. The doc offered me a prescription for sleeping pills. Also a prescription for anti-depressant. I turned them both down. I'm stubborn to the point of being stupid, I suppose, but I instinctively rebel against medications that I think I can survive without.

Hevyn

It's a blessing to have you here FL. We hold each other up.

Tooshabby

That's really interesting. If you turned it down on the basis you don't feel depressed, then this may not be relevant, but for what it's worth, my doctor suggested antidepressants two months ago, and I'm astonished at the difference. Not hysterically over the moon or anything - just feel 'normal', which is a very pleasant change. I think years of hardcore drinking certainly hammer the brain chemistry. What's wrong with a little leg-up? I said to myself.

Dee74

Not trying to be funny Frank but why not then extend that stubborness to alcohol as well?

D

FrankLapidas

First, on my declining the sleeping pills, I doubt I will change my mind. Very slowly my sleep patterns are returning to normal. From reading posts here that's to be expected. Plus, I've heard too many stories of people becoming overly reliant on sleeping pills. I already have one addiction, alcohol, I don't want another.

On the anti-depressants I'm open to reconsidering, but I want to see how I feel after another week or two of sobriety. I've been on anti-depressants on three occasions. The first was several years ago, Prozac. It worked, even though I weaned myself off it fairly quickly. The second time, Lexapro. It worked fairly well, but again I weaned myself off it. Most recently was Prozac again, early this year. Didn't help, but then I probably drowned it in booze.

I think my 'breakthrough', if you want to call it that, was when I realized my depressions wouldn't last forever. This may sound simple but when I first suffered from depression I could not imagine it would ever go away. Once I finally realized it wasn't going to be a permanent state of mind I could just remind myself of that and ride it out.

Another thing about anti-depressants . . . it's been well documented that they can stifle creativity. That's certainly true in my case. And that's not where I want to be. I need inspiration. I need my creative urges to flourish. Without them I'm afraid I'd just be an even tempered zombie.

FrankLapidas

I'm not trying to combative here, Dee, because you are the heart and soul of this site. But what more would you have me do other than (stubbornly) seeking sobriety?

Jsbodhi

Word up Dawg,
Just saying hi.
I'm stubborn too, wouldn't even take tylonol as I drove 9 hours alone through a mountain pass with a severly injured leg I couldn't stand on

thomas11

I respect your decision on the sleep medication Frank. I did become dependent on them, and the whole scenario ended badly. The worst was the withdrawal from Ambien. 72 hours of no sleep and teeth chattering. It definitely messes with your brain chemistry.

dwtbd

Hey Frank( btw, do you have a niece named Ava? )
Just checking in, glad to see you truckin along, and it's ok to pretend they did have the monk's blood, if it helps

Girlie928

Frank, just want to share my experience with antidepressants. I quit drinking November 2014, while I was taking antidepressants. At about 90 days sober I decided I probably didn't need them since I wasn't drinking so I weaned myself off. Without realizing it, I became really depressed and drank again about a month later. Be well and good luck.

Cissy

Frank, not to bear my soul here or anything, but I suffer from anxiety and depression. My dad was bipolar and my mom is always on the verge of hysteria so my gene pool is iffy at best. I take Lexapro and Lamictal and I take Restoril for sleep.

Yes, I'd rather not be taking any of this crap but I have found that it's necessary. And I hear you about the loss of creativity but you don't think I'm a zombie, do you? Maybe just give the meds a try for longer than a few weeks. They could be the thing that gets you on the path of true recovery.

As always, my friend: (((((Hugs))))) Sleep tight.

Tooshabby

Just to let you know I sent you through a link to that article via your private message system. Enjoy :-D

ZaBoozer

Well done Frank, I think you are in a much better place this time - you are being more open if that makes sense. Now you got to keep on keeping on. Others have said it - sleep will come with time. I still have my evenings where I battle, but they are few and far between now.

Tooshabby

My experience with antidepressants (Prozac) is exactly like yours. Been on them for three periods over the course of about 15 years. First two times it worked and I came off them after about 3 months and stayed pretty good. This third time, it took a good 7-8 weeks for me to feel better - longer than the other times, and worse side effects in the beginning (which have now gone). I have read accounts of this same sequential pattern happening to other people. Just thought I would share that if it's helpful :-)

If you can do without sleeping pills good for you. Like you say, addictive.

Tooshabby

Forgot to say I've also heard of people who find SSRIs stifle their creativity too....I'm lucky like that, it doesn't affect me in that way. But if that's hugely important to you, which it obviously is, and they have that effect, maybe they're a 'no goer' for you. Especially if you can ride out depressed periods.