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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 206
I'm glad you're here, Frank. I feel a connection with you, kindred spirits, if you will. Once you brushed away the cobwebs that the booze left you with, you broke out of your shell. It feels like the cobwebs are back, and I want to see the real you again. And trust me, the real you is not introverted, soft-spoken, dark and sullen. I know that I am a complete stranger, but even from here, I saw the real you start to shine after you put the booze behind you. You can do it again. You have no idea how much I am rooting for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Day 3
Thank you for your meaningful and touching post, noexcuse. And thank you Dee, Wolf, Boozer, Hawkeye, Venecia, and Amandamarie.
I'll try to post something here in the next couple of days. Right now I'm pretty much consumed with disappointment in myself.
I'll try to post something here in the next couple of days. Right now I'm pretty much consumed with disappointment in myself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Congrats on day three Frank. Instead of disappointment dude, take it as something constructive. You slipped up and drank. Did it fix anything for you? No. So you have learnt something from that - it doesn't solve your problems. Try not to beat yourself up over it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Day 4
Feeling a bit more positive emotionally today, but still disgusted with my failure. Thank you Boozer, Wolf, Hevyn, Dee, and Purpleknight (welcome to my home here on SR).
If there is a silver lining to my relapse, perhaps it is this: I only drank for one day. Here's my serial binge drinking pattern for the last couple of years . . .
On the first day, a fifth+ of rum
On the second day I'd get up early, having crashed on the first day, and have more rum. Just a bit, I always told myself, enough to take the edge off and get squared away. Of course that "just a bit" turned into all day drinking, usually about a fifth and a half.
The third day, pretty much the same as the second day. Another fifth and a half.
The fourth day is where it gets interesting. After about another fifth my body just refused to take on more rum. Really couldn't even swallow it. So I'd decide, okay, I can't do this anymore. But . . . since I'm going to quit, why not go out in a burst of glory? So I would drink about two more fifths, one vodka and one Kahlua. White Russians. Pretty impressive, huh?
On the fifth day I'd be pretty much dead, but found some peace that I would quit drinking.
But . . . on the sixth day, rinse and repeat. Start the whole binge cycle over.
At least I didn't do that this time.
If there is a silver lining to my relapse, perhaps it is this: I only drank for one day. Here's my serial binge drinking pattern for the last couple of years . . .
On the first day, a fifth+ of rum
On the second day I'd get up early, having crashed on the first day, and have more rum. Just a bit, I always told myself, enough to take the edge off and get squared away. Of course that "just a bit" turned into all day drinking, usually about a fifth and a half.
The third day, pretty much the same as the second day. Another fifth and a half.
The fourth day is where it gets interesting. After about another fifth my body just refused to take on more rum. Really couldn't even swallow it. So I'd decide, okay, I can't do this anymore. But . . . since I'm going to quit, why not go out in a burst of glory? So I would drink about two more fifths, one vodka and one Kahlua. White Russians. Pretty impressive, huh?
On the fifth day I'd be pretty much dead, but found some peace that I would quit drinking.
But . . . on the sixth day, rinse and repeat. Start the whole binge cycle over.
At least I didn't do that this time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Hey Frank, congrats on day four. Glad you found something positive to take from your relapse. White Russians, used to love those things, though my poison of choice was whiskey. Keep on keeping on dude.
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