Complexiti

My glare was almost enough to shatter the rows of bottles - had I been a small child I would have done this

Stoogy

Hi Complexiti,

Hope you are feeling okay, just keep posting as a release it will help.
All the best

Complexiti

Doing OK for another day. Been to the store and bought more salad stuff and fruit and when I got to the till he said "no vodka today" and when I said not today thanks he said "but vodka is good for you". Funnily enough I had to stop by the shelves of bottles to get something from the bottom shelf and I did not even think of looking up at them. It was almost as if they were not there.

No it is not good for me and I do not want any. I just have to keep telling myself that, one day at a time. I had a major upset yesterday evening and I honestly think I might have gone and bought a bottle, but then told myself that I did not want a drink and I did not need a drink, so did not give in.

Small grilled chicken fillet with loads of salad again today!

bnmbh

Im right there with you..SCARED

Complexiti

I'm not scared at the moment as I am feeling quite good. Started off this thread in the throes of withdrawal and by listening to me people here helped me get through it and not buy any more - until I gave in last Friday but at least I had gone a week and did not do my usual during a binge which was buy more every other day so I was going through half a litre of vodka a day.

Been OK since then and if I can keep away from buying any more tomorrow it will be a week since I last bought a bottle.

If I can do it you can, and if you can do it I can. Like everyone here.

What scares me now is the thought that it is so easy to give in and buy a bottle but I really do not want to so am just doing it day by day. Like if I can go without alcohol today then that is good. Tomorrow I will say the same.

And try my best not to give in again.

Stoogy

Hi Complexiti,

Glad you are sounding better, the strength to say no again today is fabulous, and eating well like you are doing Is a great bridge to fueling your body when the cravings show there ugly self.

Way to go buddy, doing great.

Complexiti

Thank you Stoogy I must say that I am feeling much better in myself and also in my determination not to give in. Not exactly craving but Fridays tend to be my "gotta go buy a bottle" day so having to be extra vigilant.

The stupid thing is that I didn't enjoy either the taste or the feelings when I gave in last Friday, it was like I was forcing myself to drink it even though the taste was so bad, and at the moment the thought of that horrible taste is helping my vigilance.

So I don't know whether to go to the store and test myself or not as I can probably do without what I would go for. It was comparatively easy during the last week but that was what I thought last Friday and I gave in.

At least stuffing myself full of salad will help my waistline which the alcohol didn't!

Stoogy

So glad you are feeling better, The Friday feeling eh? Been there it's all Jedi mind tricks really isn't it? As I said I am 4 months sober and I actually bought non alcoholic beer about 3 months ago as I thought I may treat myself to a taste of a Friday night for example but they are still in the fridge 3 months later and I don't even have a craving to taste it.. I've had my fill of alcohol and the very thought of going through those first 3 months of withdrawal I would not envisage myself having any at all, ever..
So happy you are feeling better, it's Friday but hey it's just another day to chalk off on the calender.

Complexiti

Another day under my belt - I just hope I can keep it up now.

Complexiti

I don't know why but these last couple of days I've been extremely thirsty, but another day sober just got to do it day by day and not think of the morrow.

Goldcoastgirl

You are doing so well, good on you! Maybe the thirst is just your body wanting some water for rehydration, I have found that too. Normally I was too numb to hear my body telling me what it needed. Keep on keeping on x

Complexiti

I hope it's OK for me to keep posting here but it's helping me to concentrate on being sober myself. Might sound rather selfish not supporting anyone else but I'm finding it easier this way.

I mean I have got to beat this thing and I know that I am far from alone in doing it, but I really do need to concentrate on myself for the moment, as I still have that fear that I will give in.

The thought is always trying to get into my mind that hey, I'm feeling great now, I've got over withdrawal so can buy another bottle. But I must NOT let that thought into my mind and I MUST keep on fighting it. Just sitting here saying how I feel is helping me to fight and keep that thought away.

I'm wondering whether this thirst is my body's way of flushing the toxins from my body?

diffingo911

I've been told by others...Keep On Posting!!! It's like "Journaling, with Benefits"...
I know I need to be doing the SAME, yet feel kind of Ashamed at the Moment, as I cannot seem to stop drinking.

Regardless of MY situation, We are ALL here for the same reason-Once We can get well enough, we WILL help others - but in the meantime, it's gotta be All About You, Complexiti-No shame in it, man - Thanks for YOUR Help - You have made Me Realize- I Need to help Myself MORE and get More Involved in My posting Activity...

Best Wishes to You !!!

Complexiti

I know that just as I am convinced, as of this minute, that I will not give in today, I also know that I cannot guarantee that I will be able to stick to that conviction. All I can do it try not to give in. Today. And I know that I MUST keep telling myself that.

Tomorrow? I don't know. I will try to do the same. I have nothing to lose by trying but everything to lose if I don't try.

diff, I know that if I give in, as I did Friday a week ago, I too, will feel ashamed, just as I did when I came back to SR after being away for so long, and just as I did when I posted that I had given in on that Friday.

But I came back to SR albeit after having tried many other forums, and I am glad, very glad that I did, because by posting like this it is helping me stick to my aim - which is to be sober and stay sober.

All best wishes to you too, let us both keep posting!

Complexiti

Still doing OK - must keep it up now. Eating well and healthy salads and sleeping much better now.

Sort of pleased with myself but fully aware that I must keep my guard up at all times and not give in.

Stoogy

Hi Complexiti, self doubting is a perfectly normal thing, we all have self doubts regardless if it's about work etc, the key thing for me is don't listen to that AV it will drag you to your lowest point. Been there. I have heard so many stories of people giving in and reverting back but all they have done is make themselves miserable, I for one could never face those withdrawals again. Be strong.

diffingo911

Complexity - I Like Your Thread and Like being Here...I am feeling better about things this Eve/Nite...Earlier, I was feeling quite distraught and Hopeless about My situation. I had a bit of food and a few naps since and felt that the naps helped, as I had a couple of hours here and there, where I wasn't drinking, at least. I had just about 90 days sober and it all went to sh*t about five weeks ago. I have managed to get a week, 5 days, 3 days, then 2, but am still going at moment.

So, Here I am Posting...and reading and Hoping I can catch a Break, soon...

So good to see You hanging in there...You give Me Hope-I know if I can at least get a couple of days in, I will have a much better chance this time. I really want More out of Life than this Cycle of Pain I have been Living...

Complexiti

Still here, still managing, but still keep getting the "needa drink" thought creeping into my head.

I am not actually craving a drink just that I think I do, if that makes sense. But I don't want to give in as everything smells and tastes so fresh, and this time I want to keep it this way.

It's not exactly a constant battle as I don't think about it all the time, just sometimes find myself reaching out for a glass that of course isn't there.

So many times in the past I've said this time I am going to do it, this time I really am going to stop drinking for ever, but then I slip, so I'm not thinking of stopping drinking for more than just today. And if I can manage it today, tomorrow I will do the same.

Looking4Help123

Amazing efforts Complexiti!

Complexiti

Thank you L4H - I really am trying but it is so difficult. I went to the store earlier and was so darn tempted and it does not help when the store owner says "no vodka today?" But I don't want to go back to drinking, I really don't.