Amazingglazier

It is simply amazing what the human mind can do when it is not totally fogged out by alcohol or other substances! Good for you Complexiti, now if you don't mind could you get SR to work on my Galaxy S3, LOL! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Complexiti

Considering I had never seen a computer before my first one and didn't have any lessons on how to use one, I haven't done too badly for an old'un. But if your Galaxy S3 is one of those smart phones then sorry old bean but I haven't a clue as I don't have one!

Don't have any alcohol in the house either, and that really is a rather nice feeling at the moment!

Complexiti

Went to the store earlier and sat transfixed by the rows of bottles and it was so difficult not to just reach out and take one. But I mustn't, must I - why is it so difficult sometimes when other times it is so easy to just ignore them?

Complexiti

Still here. Still sober. Still intent on staying this way.

Stoogy

Just focus on today, tomorrow will take care of itself, simple and effective way of living in the now.

You are doing extremely well, remember that.

Hawkeye13

You're doing really well Complexiti; just keep going one day at a time and the cravings will fade more and more.

You can do it

Amazingglazier

Hope you are ok today Complexiti? It's rainy and wind is crazy here but not drinking so it's all good! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Complexiti

Thanks all. Only thinking of the day, not the morrow. Easier that way! I'm not even craving alcohol, just have to get used to the feeling as it's still strange and I know I could start again as I've done before. I don't want to though as why spoil feeling good with feeling drunk/hungover/suffering withdrawal?

I'm still here - been busy sorting out a couple of computer whoopsies caused by the dog putting paws on keyboard to see what was on the monitor then Mozilla decided to update Firefox and had to get that back to looking like it did before. Couldn't have done any of that had I been drinking as it needed a clear mind although I did feel like at times.

And I don't care that it's Friday because I want another clear-headed weekend.

Amazingglazier

Me too Complexiti! Have a lot to do and want to be able to do it clearheaded. Hope you are Ok! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Complexiti

Slight fail yesterday but I'm not going to dwell on it, just start again a day at a time.

I'm very annoyed at myself but am not going to give up. Because the only giving up I must do is give up drinking, and even one slip is one slip too many.

Sorry.

Stoogy

Hi, no need to be sorry Complexiti, you are a very strong willed person and you will beat this regardless of the timescale. We are all human and capable of a slip but we learn and get stronger from the experience.

Complexiti

I am just so darned annoyed with my stupidity. I knew I wasn't going to like it as I got a bottle of white wine and not vodka, as I never really liked wine, and I was right - it wasn't nice and my stomach definitely didn't like it either.

No use beating myself up over it though, is there, just got to fight that bit harder now.

But I will beat the alcohol. I am determined to. But I know I will always be fighting the demon and the fight must start now. Now when there is none in the house and I'm not going to go out and buy any more today. I said that yesterday and I gave in, which has made me even more determined not to be so stupid again today.

And another thing - people here seem to understand me, and for that I am extremely grateful. Thanks.

savarna

Your not alone many of us fail in the beginning , what's important is trying again xxx

Amazingglazier

You slipped ok , done! Now throw out the bottle and start anew. You are bigger than this , so get working and remember what caused you to do it and run like hell in the other direction! You will be ok and we re here for you. Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

EndGameNYC

Sorry to hear about your "slip," Complexiti.

There's a difference between "beating alcohol" and embracing sobriety. As I've commented before, fighting alcohol is not a fight we can win, nor should we even attempt it. Willpower alone rarely works beyond a few days or weeks.

What is it that you are willing to do to support your sobriety?

Low

I am just amazed at how many people on Sober Recovery seem to think you can just pick a date, quite drinking with willpower, and if everyone is cheering you on, the cravings go away and it all just gets easier, so it was good to see your post ENDGAMENYC.....I mean, if that was the case alcoholism wouldn't be such a big deal, we would just quit drinking....grit our teeth alittle and just tough it out.....no problem. The problem is not picking up that drink again, not stopping drinking....and that problem is in our minds...so trying to fix alcoholism with your mind, the part of us that is sick, is not the way to go...you will drink again...you just will. It is the action you take in regards to not drinking that keeps you sober, not just white knuckling it, day in and day out...Christ, that's no fun, I'd drink too. Sobriety is being freed from the obsession to drink. A wonderful life. Being dry is struggling day in and day out, to not drink. Not a good way to live. All the best.

Complexiti

Perhaps I am a bit thick but I don't understand what "embracing sobriety" means. I'm not trying to "embrace" anything. I'm trying to stop drinking, I'm doing my utmost to stop drinking because I want to stop drinking.

As for stopping drinking with willpower. What on earth is wrong with that? I was what I consider to be a heavy smoker for nearly 50 years, smoking ~30 cigarettes a day, and when I decided to stop I stopped. Willpower? It was a conscious decision to stop smoking.

So why should willpower not work for alcohol?

I want to make it clear that I was not craving alcohol when I bought the bottle on Friday. I don't know why I did it but I did, but I was definitely not craving it and when I poured that drink it was absolutely vile and made me feel terrible.

I'm not here expecting people to applaud me - that's what they do at AA meetings. Someone stands up and says they are an alcoholic and everyone claps. Someone stands up and says they have gone a day, a week, a month sober, and everyone claps.

I don't want applause. I just want the support of knowing that I can post here and maybe some people read what I post and maybe some people don't. But I'll carry on posting because it is the only way I can help myself.

Life itself is a struggle day in day out, from the moment of conception let alone birth - so what if staying away from alcohol is also a struggle? So what?

A toddler tries to stand and falls over. Does he stop trying? No. He picks himself up and tries again until one day he can stand unsupported. Then he tries to walk and falls over. Does he stop trying? No. He picks himself up and tries again until one day he can take one step, two steps before falling over, until one day he can walk, and then run, and he does not look back. then

Nobody said life was supposed to be easy and I have never expected giving up years of alcoholism to be easy. And I am not going to give up trying.

Dee74

I'm not trying to pick a fight - but you've had a lot of suggestions over many threads and you've decided that going it alone with willpower is your chosen programme.

So why didn't willpower work when you bought the bottle?

D

Stoogy

Dee, I truly respect your wisdom and points you make, but I've got to disagree with you on this one, why are there so many people on here who think willpower alone does not work? That is complete nonsense in my opinion, the AA is not the only choice for alcoholics. I'm sure there are many people who have relapsed after years of AA meetings.

The bottom line is there is no right and no wrong, just good and bad choices but that is life in general not just drinking habits.

I have nothing but will power also and going on 6 months now with absolutely nothing but happy thoughts going forward.

Thanks Dee, would appreciate your thoughts.

Dee74

I'm glad you asked.
I'm not sure why AA came into the conversation tho - I'm not a 12 stepper.

Willpower didn't work for me because a large part of my will wanted to drink.
Acceptance worked far better for me.

I looked over 20 years of smoking ruins and burnt bridges and I accepted that my relationship with alcohol was to blame for that.

I accepted that my relationship with alcohol was toxic - always had been and always would be.

I accepted that I could drink, or I could be the man I wanted to be - but not both.

I accepted that my life was built around drinking, and if I wanted my life to change, I needed to make real lasting changes to my life.

I accepted that this would be a huge undertaking - and I'd need to find support - and use it.

From that point on, things got a lot better for me Stogy - because it wasn't a struggle involving willpower anymore...

the fight was over for me, for good.

D