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Old 03-22-2014, 07:51 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Hi rhodie
Have to be very careful here....aa works for alot of people but not myself im not an atheist but in as i felt i had to embrace god or a higher power before anyone even helped me...thats my experience im sure different aa meetings with different people are different
But it obviously works for thousands of people and that is great but i find the dull and depressing
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Old 03-22-2014, 08:00 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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I'm not familiar with AA, but I think sometimes people may read too much into what a higher power means. For me the SR community is a higher power because it is a strength outside of me that offers support and accountability that has given me the courage to follow through on my commitment to not drink when there are times I know I would have failed on my own.
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Old 03-22-2014, 08:28 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I would like to say three things.

Firstly, thanks everyone for listening because believe me it does help for me to talk here.

Secondly, I have never taken Valium while drinking. I have only ever taken it when having a bad withdrawal, and then only when I start getting withdrawal symptoms. quite a few hours later.

Thirdly, and I honestly do not mean to offend anyone, I have said that AA is not for me. I would not go to a meeting even if there was one in the next street and I will not talk to anyone from AA either face to face or on the phone. My choice, my decision.

I have already been driven away from one alcohol self-help group by someone insisting that I must go to AA meetings, totally ignoring the fact that I had stated point blank that AA is not for me.

Please friends, do not drive me away from SR by keeping on ramming AA down my throat. It really isn't helping me.

Thanks.
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Old 03-22-2014, 08:33 AM
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No one is ramming aa down your throat complex i myself have said it doesn't work for me
Plus no one on SR is going to chase you away only you can make the decision whether o stay on here or not please don't think we are ramming anything down your throat we are here to listen and offer support
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Old 03-22-2014, 08:59 AM
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Hi counsidegirl:
Yes I agree with your thoughts. It is not for me either, however, if it has helped others then that is what it is all about. Whatever keeps one focused and happy, not only for oneself but in assisting others to reach their goal is what life is all about. I just happen to believe in something else, like so many in this world we live in. I am not against people who attend AA, it works for them, and hopefully my decision not to go is respected too.
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Old 03-22-2014, 09:02 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Complexiti View Post
Feel terrible. No more alcohol in the house. Just feel terrible. Been drinking too much and am frightened.
Reminds me of when I wanted to quit the booze. Always poured the booze out, down the drain. Then when I wanted to drink because someone looked at me wrong, or I was cut off in traffic, just bought some more of the poison.

I hope there is more to this plan of yours then just pouring out the booze, and not drinking. I can attest to the fact that just not drinking -------DID NOT------ help in any way shape or form. I had to change the way I think, about everyone and everything.

Wish you the best.
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Old 03-22-2014, 09:49 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Complexiti View Post
Thirdly, and I honestly do not mean to offend anyone, I have said that AA is not for me. I would not go to a meeting even if there was one in the next street and I will not talk to anyone from AA either face to face or on the phone. My choice, my decision.

I have already been driven away from one alcohol self-help group by someone insisting that I must go to AA meetings, totally ignoring the fact that I had stated point blank that AA is not for me.

Please friends, do not drive me away from SR by keeping on ramming AA down my throat. It really isn't helping me.

Thanks.
Hi, Complexiti.

Don't bite the hand that helps you. It isn't necessary to threaten people who are making the time and effort to help you, even when that help is unhelpful for you. Ramming something down one's throat is aggressive (as is threatening to be driven away), and I haven't seen a single person attempt to do that with you. Your knack for hyperbole is essentially isolating you from the help you need.

You introduced yourself here by stating your concerns about being "traced" and "stalked" on the Internet. You've also stated your reluctance to reveal where you live because you're afraid of losing your privacy. You've essentially wrapped yourself in a veil of mystery. One might think that you work for the CIA or MI-6. But beyond noting that your defensive posture precludes you from providing details about your situation, none of that matters.

Having a bad turn on other sites is also not a good reason to be aggressive with people here. SR has its own rules and local customs and, again, no one here has told you that if you don't go to AA you'll die.

I achieved sobriety by working the AA Big Book Twelve Steps. I don't care whether or not you achieve sobriety in the same way. I don't get paid, nor does my stature in AA rise by bringing in new recruits.

If the help you've been receiving here is inadequate, what is it that you're looking for?
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:21 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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I am sorry. I did not mean to sound aggressive or threatening and perhaps my use of language comes out as such and is different to yours because maybe I am from a different culture to you.

I have not had any alcohol since my first post on this thread. Nor have I purchased any.

Which surely must show that by posting again on SR that it it, at least for the moment, helping me. I need to keep up the non-drinking mindset and I desperately want to keep up this mindset.

I am calling on all my strength and will-power not to give in and I ask you all to please help me do so by just letting me talk.

It is not a matter of wrapping myself in a veil of mystery - I have very good reasons for not wanting to give out any personal details, Just look at what it says at the top of this page

"WARNING: Anonymity/Internet Predators"

well that is all I am trying to do. Keep my anonymity. Is that such a bad thing to want?

I am an alcoholic who has hidden it from all my friends and contacts for many years. I do not want them to know it now and look at me as just another old drunk, as I was called when I was at the ER when I fell.

Yes I am another old drunk, but I want to be sober. Not just for a week as I have been this time, but I want to be able to stay sober. I want to be able to go into a shop or a supermarket and ignore the row after row of alcohol without that urge to give in and pick up a bottle.

Because I know that if I pick up that bottle I will not be able to stop.
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:19 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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what everyone is saying is you need a plan and support to break the cycle of addiction/quitting/relapse. You seem to realize you have a serious problem, but you still want everything your way, which doesn't seem to serve you well. I would encourage you to look at your motivations for being so suspicious of AA. It is really just groups of people sharing their experience, strength and hope. Sure there are some different flavors of meetings, and not all are going to appeal to everyone. If you want to quit drinking and get your life back, AA can help if you let it.

peace
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Old 03-23-2014, 12:38 PM
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AA hasn't appealed to me, but I respect it as a valuable resource for many people.

I personally have benefited from reading books such as "Rational Recovery" and Allen Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Drinking"......

There are many other methods to look into for ideas and advice here on this site, something should speak to your own personal situation. Look into the secular recovery section, and maybe even the mental health section, if you are having issues along those lines.

Best wishes on your sober journey. May you find peace, and hope,
~Heartfan
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:06 PM
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I'm detoxing tonight and am not looking forward to it. I feel absolutely horrible. We can get it done though.
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:38 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Heartfan82: thank you for your info. I will certainly look into it. I feel good so far on my journey, sleeping well, eating well and going for 2 hour walks per day, just soaking up the sunshine and generally feeling good.
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:41 PM
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Justjustquit: Persevere, the pain will soon be over and well worth it. Congrats on making your decision. This forum will certainly help to keep you focused as we have all been there and know what it is like. Myself, I am also a newbie and my fellow members have not only been helpful and supportive.
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Old 03-24-2014, 05:06 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MnEman View Post
what everyone is saying is you need a plan and support to break the cycle of addiction/quitting/relapse. You seem to realize you have a serious problem, but you still want everything your way, which doesn't seem to serve you well. I would encourage you to look at your motivations for being so suspicious of AA. It is really just groups of people sharing their experience, strength and hope. Sure there are some different flavors of meetings, and not all are going to appeal to everyone. If you want to quit drinking and get your life back, AA can help if you let it.

peace
I am not suspicious of AA - I thought I had said that when I lived in a city I had been to a couple of meetings but they were not for me. I am not good with people, especially strangers in a strange place. And now I live in the middle of nowhere where there are no AA meetings and I do not have a car so it would involve a lot of public transport.

But AA was not for me. I am sure it has helped thousands of people but it was not for me and I definitely could never cope with all the traveling and changing buses etc especially as I know that I just could not sit in a strange room with strangers as I am really not good with people and being very hard of hearing does not help matters much.

Writing this is helping me. Yes I know I could write a blog and keep it to myself, at least I think I could, but that would not help as nobody would be able to read it. Just knowing that you all are reading what I write is, at the moment, what really is helping me.

So far since I started this thread I am still doing OK. I keep thinking that I want a drink but am telling myself that I do not need one therefore I do not want one. It is being able to write this that is telling me not to go out and buy any more.

Just so difficult not to give in but if I can go just another day then that is all I can do each day.
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Old 03-24-2014, 05:39 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Exactly, take it day by day, hour by hour or even minute by minute...you can do it!
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Old 03-24-2014, 06:04 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Fear... sounds like thats what this boils down to. Fear. I get it. I live and work in a small town full of drunks, most of them dont want help.And I am very very selective of who I tell of my drinking issues, although if I am honest, they all knew or had heard at some point or another-- whether I had passed out at the bar or was so blacked out that everyone could see it, or god forbid picked up the phone and called or texted people in my digustingly drunk state of mind. But in the town I live in, its more acceptable to be a drunk who is slowly killing themselves, than a drunk who is actively working on their issues. And by issues, I mean more than the drinking. (for me drinking is a symptom of the thinking game that I am so priveledged to endure between my ears) I dont ever push AA on anyone, mainly because it didnt work when it was pushed on me. I hated the thought of it. I have been practicing the principles of the program without attending meetings, and it has worked for me. No one can decide for you what will work. Sounds like you are getting a good head start. congrats on staying sober for a week. Thats fantastic! ? Dont let fear rob you of a solid recovery, the same way alcohol did. best wishes!!
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Old 03-24-2014, 06:27 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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For me, stopping drinking wasn't the issue, (did it every other day or so) NOT STARTING AGAIN was the issue.....and if I could have done it by sheer willpower, why would I have put myself through 17 years of chasing the consequences of my drinking after 10 years of sobriety? Sheer willpower and people cheering me on the sidelines didn't work for me...I needed the in my face kindof encouragement, and complete, complete, surrender that I needed help, not more willpower. When I invited a power outside of me to help, (I have no idea what to call it) but it works. What a fricking relief. Peace.
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Old 03-24-2014, 06:33 AM
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I have never participated in AA or any other structured group and I have managed to quit a 30 year alcohol habit on my own.

But I made a plan beyond just not drinking for myself, which included improved nutrition, exercise, sleep schedules, yoga / mediation, educating myself about addiction,
and a focused plan of reintroducing fun and creative things back into my life (guitar lessons at home with video, voice lessons,
bought a jazz cd collection and began learning about the music and artists, reading books for fun, and so on)

Recently, I have started therapy to work on some issues I've been pushing down with alcohol since childhood, so my sobriety plan modifies and changes as I grow and change.

All of the above does take time and discipline, but it has made all the difference in my ability to quit successfully without a structured program external to myself.

If you don't want AA, or Rational Recovery, or anything like that, I suggest that you need to take
independent action and make a plan which will work for you and implement it.

If you are doing the same thing you were doing before drinking but not drinking, pretty
soon you will relapse, because nothing has really changed.

The change part is hard work, but also very rewarding and more and more fun as time passes and cravings go away.

I think doing something like this could really help you, and take your focus off of recovery programs you don't want to participate in.
That's a negative focus, and to get the job done, a positive focus will help so much more.

Good luck and congrats on your sober time!
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Old 03-24-2014, 09:27 AM
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I have started studying, via the internet, some subjects that interested me years ago but that years was before I had a computer, probably years before computers themselves, so meant going to the library all the time.

Now I have a list of things to research and of course everything has changed so much. I mean ideas, not just the fact that I can sit and research them at home. Well there is no library here in any case and usually by the time such reference books are published they are out of date whereas the internet is up to date.

I cannot concentrate for long and am not yet able to take everything in as a lot of it is very hard going, but I am making notes on what I have found and where I found them so I must be a lot more clear-headed than I have been for a long time.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:22 AM
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Yes--I know what you mean about the concentration--that takes awhile to get better once you stop drinking for good but the fogginess and attention-span issues will improve.

That's why I also included eating really high-quality foods, lots of water, started probiotics and good multi-vitamin and minerals, etc. since you may have nutritional issues from drinking.
You will crave sugar for awhile since it metabolizes like booze, but wean yourself off of it and get it from good sources like organic dried fruit, etc. Don't eat any junk food and lots
of salads, fresh veggies to balance your system.

The exercise also helps clear your mind and relax you. Good quality sleep is also important, and go to the doctor and tests to see where you are on all "wellness" markers.

Feel free to post your plan or ideas about it here if you'd like some feedback.

All of it is a package, and the results are certainly worth having.

Glad you are starting to build some momentum with the research
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