Complexiti

So I got through the dreaded Friday OK and am half way through the weekend, but I am getting fidgety again and it worries me.

2muchpain

Hope you made through Saturday ok. I know how hard it is. Remember "just for today".

Amazingglazier

Complexiti , You can do it! The Human body is amazing, eat better and don't overload yourself on the computer researching. I used to and found myself reaching for a beer when I stayed on too long. Get Some sleep and maybe start dreaming nice things, go take a walk or get a bicycle. Most of all Stay Strong and Well! Bobby

Hawkeye13

I think you need to go to a different store. That guy is pushing the booze.
Either tell him to stop or take your business elsewhere.

Complexiti

Made it through Saturday and yes, now it is definitely "just for today".

I am eating well and very healthy and have stopped reaching for a drink now, just the same as when I stopped smoking when I automatically lit a cigarette before making a telephone call or when answering an incoming call. That did wonders for my health [and for my computer which used to get choked with cigarette ash]. I stopped reaching out for one, but then I actually found stopping smoking was easy as I just decided one day that I was never going to smoke again, and I just stopped.

Unfortunately taking a walk or getting a bicycle is impossible for me as I can't walk.

It is the only store I can get to unless I get a cab to go to a shopping centre, and it is downright stupid to pay for cabs just to go buy booze. I think he knows that I am trying to stop drinking as he does it sort of jokingly and is not really pushing it, and I don't really mind as I am getting to like saying not today thanks with a grin on my face!

Because it is just for today that I don't want any. And I know I have to say that every day now.

Amazingglazier

Complexiti, I'm sorry you can't get around easily , but you sound very positive! Hope all is well, we are all wishing you well on your road to recovery. Great that you stopped smoking so easily. I swore I would not smoke when I just got out of jail after 54 days but I did after hearing all the restrictions my probation officer put on me , but have decided this is my last pack today! Wish me well as I have other things to spend the $600 a month they cost me! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Complexiti

Please don't worry about my mobility problems - they are long standing and nothing to do with drinking although sometimes I think that I was probably drinking more and more to blot out my limitations. I mean that did not start me off drinking as I was a fairly heavy drinker before but think maybe I was at least to start with in denial about having to live the rest of my live with wheels instead of legs. I've gotten used to it now, have done for years now, but the drinking just carried on.

I've actually given up smoking twice. The first time was for eight years and then I had a partner who smoked like the proverbial chimney so I sort of gave in and tried the occasional one and the next thing I knew it was a pack a day. When the partner was chucked out I carried on until I'd dropped yet another pack or another lighter and run over it when reversing to pick it up, so said right, that's it, and that really was it.

Bad bad combination, smoking and drinking. Does horrible things to teeth and mouth. Didn't stop me though but I did stop smoking bang, just like that. I wish oh how I wish it would be that easy to stop drinking like that but at the moment even though I am not drinking I know that I'm an alcoholic and it will be a hell of a long time before I can safely say that I am an ex-drinker, and I guess that might take months or even years yet.

Bit of a paradox really as when the store is closed that is when I crave booze but when it is open I seem to be able to cope, even when I go there, and in all the years of my drinking I never ever got behind the wheel of a car when I had had a drink. Of course I don't drive now but that isn't because of the drink it's because if my situation.

At the moment I seem to have swapped one compulsive vice [drinking] for another, and that is for crunchy things! Well, anything crunchy for that matter but preferably salads with crunchy things in them, and loads of garlic and herbs. Not sure why but maybe my body needs them?

Mustn't think too deeply about things though. Just go by I will not drink today I reckon.

Amazingglazier

Salads are a good thing! As far as craving from the store, my glass shop is 3 doors down from a bar that saw me hanging on it every day for 4-5 years, spent almost all my non working time there. Used to walk in and out of my shop and even peer in the windows waiting for them to open, hell even had a key to it for a while when I rented the storefront next door from the owner! Now I could care less. I still keep in touch with the owner and some of the help , but not hanging out there! Bet they miss me now, LOL! Stay Strong and Well! Bobby

Complexiti

I've sat here at times waiting for the store to open and other times waiting for it to close so I can't go buy a bottle. One time when it was closed I was so desperate that I nearly went to my neighbour's house to see if there was any there as I knew they were away and I have their key, same as they have mine. Didn't go though but was sorely tempted.

I was so glad when the store closed yesterday though as I'd woken with "that" feeling like I'd been drinking the day before. Not hungover but puffy eyes and looked and felt like I'd been drinking and if it wasn't for the fact that I can come here and talk to you guys about how I'm feeling I probably would have gone over and bought a bottle.

See that's the difference here to other so-called self-help online groups. Here I can just talk about my feelings and not have to do the well done bit sort of cheering people when they get to a week or two weeks and so on. Also not being told that I should help, encourage, support others when I need the help myself. Nobody here tells me I'm selfish for just sticking to this thread. Maybe I am but then nobody has to read it do they.

It's like on some sites there are the long time members who sort of form cliques, and also the hierarchy of the so many months sober with the 'if I can do it you can crap. And then the 'I was worse than you' and it was like some people seemed to take pride in having been the drunkest, done the worse things while drunk.

Yeah well, I am not going to keep looking back as I'm here now, not there.

And I only have to get through today, don't I. I'll think about tomorrow when it comes.

EndGameNYC

It sounds as though you're moving closer to a drink, rather than away from one, Complexiti.

Do you have any other support besides SR?

Complexiti

I don't think I am and I don't feel that I am. The more I'm talking the more I seem to be able to get the whole idea of drinking out of my system. I know I will have to do this every day from now on - get the same idea I mean, and whereas before the thought of never drinking again for the rest of my life would scare me, I'm not thinking that now. Just thinking of the day, that's all.

No, but just posting on SR seems to be what I have been looking for for such a long time, so maybe coming back has made the decision for me, that this time I must not slip and go back to my old ways.

Amazingglazier

How are you doing Complexiti?

Complexiti

Getting there my friend, not doing too badly and definitely in the right mind set at the moment - and I'm going to do my best to keep it going.

Amazingglazier

Keep going my friend there IS a light at the end of the tunnel! My thoughts are with you in your journey, hope all is good! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Complexiti

I am going to ignore the fact that today is the dreaded Friday because if I can get through another Friday then I can do it again next week.

Stoogy

Hey Complexiti, hope you are holding up okay. Friday is just another day my friend it's all in the mind.
You are doing really well, congratulations.👏

Complexiti

Yay! - Done another weekend without drinking!

Dee74

good for you Complexiti

D

Stoogy

Never in doubt Complexiti, well done my friend.

Amazingglazier

You Go Complexiti, YOU CAN DO THIS! We are here to help you! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby